Sex after pregnancy: top five facts
Sex after pregnancy – you’ll find things have changed. Giving birth is almost like a small explosion around a woman’s sexual organs. They need time to heal. And with the woman’s hormonal levels gone crazy, her libido may change, too.
Healing time
During birth, a woman’s vagina and perineum can get injured or even surgically cut (an episiotomy). For the new mother, this may cause some discomfort or even severe pain when having sex. There may also be other reasons why you don’t want to have sex yet. Some women experience so-called post-partum depression after giving birth. The changing hormonal levels are like a roller-coaster ride for your body and may leave you feeling sad and depressed. That can have an impact on your sexual desire. Or you are just tired and burned out.
Some doctors advise a sex-free period of four to six weeks after giving birth. But don’t take this as a magic number! You may feel ready earlier. Or not ready at all! Whatever the reasons may be: don’t push it, give yourself and your body the time you need!
Why is sex painful?
If sex is painful for you even after that recommended six-week sex pause, you’re not alone! About half the women described their sex lives as ‘poor’ or ‘not very good’ eight months after giving birth, a British study found. Problems you can have are vaginal dryness and irritation. There may also be some bleeding or discharge.
Women who had vaginal stitches or who are breastfeeding seem to have more pain while having sex. That’s because breast feeding changes your hormonal levels. Some of the hormones may decrease your sex drive even further. But whatever sensations you feel, listen to your body and ask your partner to be gentle and patient when you first try having sex again.
Baby weight and stretch marks
Many women feel that they are less attractive after giving birth. They are worried that their partner will mind their stretch marks. Or they are worried about not yet having lost weight they gained over the past nine months.
Here are the facts: it can take several months for your uterus to shrink back to its original size, and your body has lots of fluids to lose. That takes time! It’s normal to feel less attractive right after giving birth, but this should not keep you from showing your partner (and yourself!) some love. Try to take good care of your body, eat healthily and exercise whenever you feel up to it. And don’t get frustrated: remember that it took you nine months to gain the weight (most women do) and it won’t go away within a couple of days. Be patient!
Low sexual desire and pain – what can you do?
If you don’t feel you are up to sex, there are many other things you can to do to still feel loved and connected with your partner. Long cuddling seasons will not only feel very nice, but make you feel more attractive and wanted again. This is also good for your partner. You can be very creative and do whatever you feel like. Except one thing: a woman shouldn’t have oral sex done on her right after birth. There is a chance of infection so it should be avoided until all the tissue has healed properly.
Using creams or lubrication will get you over vaginal dryness and some discomfort. Regularly exercising your pelvic floor muscles during and after pregnancy may help limit pain during sex. To do this, you tense and relax your pelvic floor muscles often. It’s the same movement as stopping your urine mid-flow.
If you continue having problems and pain even after a few months, you need to talk to a health care provider. They may be able to help you get back to having a fun sex life!
Sex and the new baby
Your baby will have an impact on your sex life as well! First of all, you and your partner will often feel exhausted after taking care of the baby and there will be sleepless nights too. Also, your partner might feel like all your attention is going to the baby – they can feel jealous or left out! Other men even feel bad about the pain they have caused their partner through childbirth and feel they can’t have sex again.
Whatever is true for your relationship, there is only one way to go: talk to your partner about it! Try to be honest. Allow yourselves to spend some time together as a couple, without the baby. Only then the two of you will find a solution that will make all of you happy.
And don’t be afraid to show affection towards your partner in front of the baby (or child, as it gets older): research shows that this will help the child to understand what a healthy relationship is like!
What were your experiences with sex after pregnancy? Leave a comment below or join the discussion on Facebook.
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Recent Comments (110)
this article is very true, i
this article is very true, i have a baby and am undergoing through the same
Hi Malcom,
Hi Malcom,
thanks for your comment!
Do you have any other tips?
Thnx for the lesson.My only
Thnx for the lesson.My only one quiz;is it true that pregnancy can change the attitude of the wife against her husband?& if so,what should be the remedy to the husband if she doesn’t like him anymore?
Hi Daniel,
Hi Daniel,
thanks for your question.
Pregnancy and motherhood change a lot of things for women. So it’s not uncommon for things to change after a woman gives birth. And sometimes, the husbands do feel a bit left out, because now they have to share their wife’s love with the baby.
The only thing both the husband and wife can do is be accepting- there is another human there now who needs both a mother’s and a father’s love.
when is tha right time to
when is tha right time to resume periods afta birth
Hi Lucy,
Hi Lucy,
if you are not breastfeeding, about two months after childbirth is normal. If you are breastfeeding, anywhere between two and six months is normal. Some women only get their periods back when they stop breastfeeding.
thanks for the lesson I didn
thanks for the lesson I didn’t know
Hi Victor,
Hi Victor,
you are most welcome!
is there any possibility da
is there any possibility da mother to be pregnant again once you ave sex be4 completing da 4-6 week.
Hi Dommie,
Hi Dommie,
usually, women who aren’t breastfeeding, start having their period again withing two months of giving birth. For those who breastfeed, it will take longer.
So the possibility is lower for a few weeks following childbirth, but keep in mind that women ovulate before they menstruate.
And that it’s important to give women a rest after giving birth, and sex isn’t recommended for 4-6 weeks after.
its true tht u cnt get
its true tht u cnt get pregnant whn u r breastfeeding n how long after chldbirth?
Hi Elizabeth,
Hi Elizabeth,
yes, if you haven’t had your period yet and you are breastfeeding every 4 hours through the day, and 6 hours at night, for the first six months after giving birth, breastfeeding is an extremely effective form of birth control.
If you are not exclusively breastfeeding or had your period within the first six months, it will be less reliable and you should use another form of birth control.
I got my period the first
I got my period the first month afta giving birth i went 2 the hosiptal ad i was given coll as the contraceptive method.am afraid that i have been recieving period this mis the other.can i get pregnant .my kid is 4months
Hi Kezier,
Hi Kezier,
the coil, or copper T-IUD is one of the most effective birth control methods that exist and it’s effects will keep you from getting pregnant for up to 10 years, unless you have it removed. So you really don’t have to worry about getting pregnant.
Hi! can you tell me more
Hi! can you tell me more about safe days to have sex?
Hi John,
Hi John,
usually, a woman’s safe days are the first 7 days after her period and the last 7 days before her period if she is on a 28-day cycle.
That said, the safe day method isn’t a very effective method of birth control, so you are much better of with another, more effective option. Check out our birth control section! Also, safe days won’t protect you from STDs. Unless you and your partner have been tested, you should stick to condoms!
Thnx 4 th advice tho am still
Thnx 4 th advice tho am still avirgin didn’t know more abt safe day May God continually bless u
Hi Nelly,
Hi Nelly,
it’s great that you are looking at birth control methods even before you are becoming sexually active, good job! Safe days (the seven days right after and right before your period on a 28-day cycle) aren’t very safe though, there is a high chance of pregnancy, so you might want to keep looking for a method that suits you. We have lots of information under birth control.
Wow! Am a medic and i love
Wow! Am a medic and i love wat ur doing guys.kip it up.
Hi George,
Hi George,
We are really glad to hear that you like our work, and we will definitely keep it up!
Thanks alot for this great
Thanks alot for this great education….but i want to know wheather the menstural period of women can change from one particular date or period to another
Hi Daps,
Hi Daps,
yes, that’s possible. An average cycle is 28 days long, so it won’t start on the same day every month to start with. Most women have a slightly changing cycle. It might be 26 days one month, 28 the next, then maybe 27… That said, some factors, like stress, or illness, or taking medications, can severely disrupt a cycle, and it can start much earlier or later than expected. Also, taking hormonal birth control can change a cycle and the nature of the period.
Does this help?
thanx alot for ua advice
thanx alot for ua advice,after givingbirth nurse said the cut was not big.my hubby says the opening is big can it be stitched now ?one year after givingbirth.
Hi Dot,
Hi Dot,
if the nurse advised you not to stitch the cut, it should be fine and not need stitching, but if you are bothered by it, please consult a doctor. Otherwise, you can also do kegel exercises. See how to do them here: http://lovematters.co.ke/news/miracle-vagina
can a lady have her periods
can a lady have her periods in between her cyclce because of stress?What are the reasons that can make a lady to get her period before the 28 days?
David,
David,
every woman has a different cycle. 28 days is an average- anywhere between around 18 to 36 days, or even more, isn’t unusual.
In terms of blood in between her periods, is it a lot? Or is it spotting? Does she have any other symptoms?
We have sex then he think he
We have sex then he think he pregnent then after two days got into period its possible that might he pregnent
Xoia,
Xoia,
if a woman has her period after unprotected sex, then she is not pregnant.
thnx 4 ur teachngs realy i
thnx 4 ur teachngs realy i conquer with u bt should i ask u wht could be the cause of my gf nt receivng periods 4 the first month of the year thn in the 2nd month the periods came bt to me i thought she had bcm pregnant wat was the problem plx advce,
Gilbert,
Gilbert,
sometimes, periods can skip a month or be very light, especially if someone is sick, or stressed, or the hormones are changing (medication, birth control…). If it happens more often, it would be a good idea to see a doctor.
thanks alot u educated us and
thanks alot u educated us and continue
You are welcome, and yes, we
You are welcome, and yes, we will!
thnkz alot its a lesson a,ve
thnkz alot its a lesson a,ve learnt
You are welcome, Dan!
You are welcome, Dan!
I wish i can be pregnant
I wish i can be pregnant again, i had raptured ectopic pregnancy 24yrs back
24 years back is a long time.
24 years back is a long time. Have you talked to a doctor?
Tnx 4 da leason, is it safe 4
Tnx 4 da leason, is it safe 4 a woman 2 menstruate 4 3 days?
Nathi,
Nathi,
every woman’s period is different, and, while three days is a bit short, it’s nothing to worry about.
my wife gave birth ayear ago
my wife gave birth ayear ago.the problem is that she has low libido and vaginal dryness.what should i do?
Edwin,
Edwin,
low libido can have many origins. Stress (about the baby, maybe?), a lack of sleep, health issues… Talk to her and see what’s going on.
Regarding the vaginal dryness, spend lots and lots of time on foreplay, and use lubricant (you can buy some from the chemist).
Good advice.God bless you !
Good advice.God bless you !
Thank you!
Thank you!
I have learnt alot from this
I have learnt alot from this session though still a virgin.Really looking forward to exercise this in future.thanks alot.
All the best, Josephine!
All the best, Josephine!
Can u have sex during menses?
Can u have sex during menses? Any health implications..
Zacks,
Zacks,
this article should answer all your questions: https://lovematters.co.ke/news/sex-during-your-period-top-facts
hi
hi
Hello!
Hello!
Weldone,doing Great Job,could
Weldone,doing Great Job,could Some Labricants Like K Y Cause An Infection If Constantly Used During Sex?Thx
Apo,
Apo,
it shouldn’t. But, if using it for vaginal dryness, it could be that there are some wounds (from dry sex or not enough lubricant) that do get infected.
wow! i lyk ua advice keep up
wow! i lyk ua advice keep up
We will, thanks, Jammo!
We will, thanks, Jammo!
a commet after m.p 3 day
a commet after m.p 3 day then u have sex na boi hatakumwangia can u be pregnant plz
Lucie,
Lucie,
it depends on many factors- how long or short is your cycle, was there sperm in the pre-ejaculate? If you think you are pregnant, wait until your next period is late and take a pregnancy test. Good luck!
thank for great advices.what
thank for great advices.what’s the difference between ovulation and menstruation?
Ruth,
Ruth,
menstruation means your period, the time of the month when you bleed. Ovulation happens about 14 days (on average, it differs per woman), into your cycle. It means an egg is ready for fertilization. If you have unprotected sex, you will get pregnant. If not, the egg will be released and the cycle repeats itself.
After breastfeedin a baby how
After breastfeedin a baby how can a moda maintain a firm breast nd wat can b d cause of a pregnant woman feels irretated wen ha patner touches her(sex)
After breastfeedin a baby how
After breastfeedin a baby how can a moda maintain a firm breast nd wat can b d cause of a pregnant woman feels irretated wen ha patner touches her(sex)
Bekky,
Bekky,
unfortunately, breastfeeding and pregnancy will change your body. You can try general exercises, but chances are, your breasts don’t go back to the way they were.
And as for sex, the hormonal changes can cause that. It’s normal and it’s okay, talk to your partner about it, and try to find a way that works for both of you.
since i gave birth is nw 7
since i gave birth is nw 7 mnths i never hav sex wl it b pain during sex.
Pauline,
Pauline,
after 7 months, you should be fine. Are you experiencing dryness? Then maybe try a lubricant. Otherwise, it might be a good idea to talk to your doctor.
my peried comes after 11 or
my peried comes after 11 or 10 months bt for the last 2months iko normol am i sick plz advice me
Ann,
Ann,
please talk to a doctor about this, we can’t make an online diagnosis.
I like it thkz 4 yo lessions
I like it thkz 4 yo lessions
You are welcome!
You are welcome!
hi is it possible for my wife
hi is it possible for my wife to be pregnant again before 6 weeks ends after giving birth?
Jose,
Jose,
it’s unlikely, but possible. Why do you think she could be pregnant?
Please check with a doctor to confirm.
do women feel having sex when
do women feel having sex when they are pregnant?
Depends on the woman. Some
Depends on the woman. Some feel like it, others don’t!
Iz t healthy tu av sex with a
Iz t healthy tu av sex with a pregnant gal at fast three manths or t can afect the foetus…!??
There is no problem with
There is no problem with having sex with a pregnant lady at any stage of her pregnancy as long as she is comfortable.
Its educating since i wl know
Its educating since i wl know how to handle this when married which is soon
Than you Cyrus for the feed
Than you Cyrus for the feed back. We are glad you like it.
Thanks be to you Love matters
Thanks be to you Love matters.You are teaching us good things that may lead to a long lasting lyf..big up guyz.
You are welcome Dancun, pass
You are welcome Dancun, pass the good word around. 🙂
Hi,my gf has used
Hi,my gf has used contraceptive…Can she get pregnant wen we had unprotected sex(without cd) during here periods.
Hi Michael, the purpose of
Hi Michael, the purpose of the contraceptive is to prevent pregnancy. Unless the contraceptive method in question is the condom, then she should be fine.
Thenks for the advise I have
Thenks for the advise I have learnt something which I didn’t know.
You are most welcome James.
You are most welcome James.
l love ur advices…
l love ur advices…
l am 5 months pregnant and at times more so morning hours l experience a lot of pain on my abdomen and also l always have this severe headache… what could be the cause ?
Hi Paige, its sometimes
Hi Paige, its sometimes common with some pregnancies to have some discomforts and pains but they should not be severe. You should therefor go for check up in the hospital , you don’t need to wait for your clinic date.
can a girl bkam pregnant if
can a girl bkam pregnant if the condom burst inside vargina
Yes Kevo. its very possible
Yes Kevo. its very possible for a girl to become pregnant after a condom burst during sex. One is encouraged to take an e-pill after such an incident to prevent unintended pregnancies.
Hi had a miscarriage sm
Hi had a miscarriage sm months back n after that we every time I try to make love to my hubby I feel lots of pain n always bleed. Advice please
Hi Caro,
Hi Caro,
you need to go to the hospital for check up because its not normal for one to bleed during sex.
hi my girlfriend aborted but
hi my girlfriend aborted but its nuw three weks hcg showing positive and pain in her breasts?
Hi Onesmus, it would be wise
Hi Onesmus, it would be wise for her to go to hospital for a check up.
thanx 4 ur advice; how long
thanx 4 ur advice; how long can a lady take to start having after giving birth
Hi Dan, are you asking how
Hi Dan, are you asking how long a lady can take before having sex after giving birth? if so, its recommended they wait for 6 weeks after giving birth.
My wife gave birth 2.5yrs ago
My wife gave birth 2.5yrs ago she uses contraceptives every day but she is pregnant again what could be the cause?And after that which is the best method to use?
Hi Ken you should probably
Hi Ken you should probably try to use the long term methods of contraceptives as an option. sometimes the contraceptives fail if there are predisposing factor and wrong use.
Hellow yur doing a very good
Hellow yur doing a very good Job.. Big up. After having sex with her she feels pain in her stomach what might cause this or wat is the problem. thenk yu.
Hi Jimmy,
Hi Jimmy,
She needs to visit the hospital for a check up.
Thanks for Ur Advice,what is
Thanks for Ur Advice,what is the normal time lapse btn one round nd the other?
Hi that depends with the
Hi that depends with the individual. There are those who take a while and there are those who take a short time. No two people are the same.
Is it normal making love
Is it normal making love twice a day while pregnant, it is a feeling av not being able to control, craving my hubby even when he s at work, feeling wanting him during day tym ad maybe in the Morning we had sex.
Hi Vennesa,
Hi Vennesa,
there is nothing wrong with wanting to have sex even when pregnant. Its a craving most women wish they have. Keep on enjoying sex with your partner.
i am Eunice and i want to…
i am Eunice and i want to thank Dr. Ancient for bringing back my ex boyfriend, we broke up for more than 9 month and he told me that he will never want to see me in his life again. i love him so much to the extend that i could not think of dating any man again, i was confused and depress due to the love i had for him.i did everything i could do to have him come back to me but all went in vain. so i decided to contact a spell caster, i did not believe in spell casting i just want to try it may be it would work out for me. i contacted Dr. Ancient for help,and he told me that he have to cast a love spell on him, i told him to do it. after 3 days my boyfriend called me and started to apologize for leaving me and also he told me that he still love me. i was very happy and i thank Dr. Ancient for helping me get back my ex back to my hands. his spell is the greatest of all over the world, it was the love spell he cast on my ex that make him come back to me. all you ladies who want back their ex back i want you to contact Dr. Ancient for the return of your ex boyfriend and also your ex girlfriend he can also cast any kind of spell you want him to cast for you. his contact email is [email protected] just try him and their will be a solution to your case.
have learnt a lot,
have learnt a lot,
You talked about having sex…
You talked about having sex when pregnancy is progressing but my question is,can the woman play sex with the another man when she is pregnant or she is only recommended to have it with her only husband/partner?
thanks for that good lesson…
thanks for that good lesson but kindly asking about if someone is HIV,is it good to have oral sex or penetrated sex?
Hi Joel, Oral, Anal or…
Hi Joel, Oral, Anal or vaginal sex present a risk for HIV transmission in the case where one partner is HIV positive. For this reason one should use condoms as a preventive measure correctly and consistently. Check out the following articles for more information and other prevention options:-
https://lovematters.co.ke/safe-sex/sti-prevention/staying-safe
https://lovematters.co.ke/safe-sex/sti-prevention/pre-exposure-prophylaxis-top-facts
Thank for tha lesson:a quiz…
Thank for tha lesson:a quiz i give birth to my first born and he is nine months now and i ave no interest with sex my partener always beat me and takes the advantage on me l feel much hatered towards him advise me
Hi Poly, you are in an…
Hi Poly, you are in an abusive relationship and no one deserves this kind of treatment from their partner. Have you talked about the abuse with him? Because of the abuse, you now hate him and can’t bring yourself to have sex with him. After child birth, sex does change and it is important that one’s partner recognizes this. The woman may require sometime before they are able or even want to have sex again. Communication is an important part of any relationship especially when such changes are happening. Your safety and that of your child is of uttermost importance. Take time and think about whether things are likely to change in your relationship, talk with someone you trust as you think about your next move. You may have to end things with your partner for your safety. Have a look at the following article for additional tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/sexual-harassment/how-to-deal-with-abusive-partners
Morayo
since av giving birth…
Morayo
since av giving birth, I did not av any emotional feelings to my husband again. pls what can I do.
Hi, many changes take place…
Hi, many changes take place after a baby including sex. It is possible that your affection and attention has moved to your new baby and this is normal. It is important to realize when this is happening and talk about it with your partner. Be honest with your partner, let them know how you feel and have them give you time so that both of you can can work on your intimacy again. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/pregnancy/sex-after-pregnancy-myths-and-facts
Only one sperm fertilizes an…
Only one sperm fertilizes an ovum where do others go?
Hey Elly, this is true. The…
Hey Elly, this is true. The rest of the sperm are either destroyed by the unfavorable conditions either in the vagina or cervix. Other are simply expelled.
Well noted
Well noted
Hi Hassan,
I am happy you…
Hi Hassan,
I am happy you learnt something new. Keep visiting Love Matters for more informative articles.