Valentine, on-call
Alphonce Omondi

Working towards orgasms

What is the best position for achieving orgasm? It has eluded me for so many years. My hubby is coming back after being away and I want to get the most out of it.

I suggest that you masturbate. This will tell you where your hotspots are and put you more at ease with your body. Something about the fact that you have been married for years and not had an orgasm, suggests that you and your husband race through sex and that you don’t talk about it too much.

How about you start here:

  • Tell him that you haven’t had an orgasm in years and ask him to help. Most men would take this on as a personal challenge.
  • Ask him what he loves about your sex life and what he would change. You too could take this on as a personal challenge. 
  • You could let him watch you masturbate, he will learn a few things and it will bring you closer as you try a different type of sex.
  • Positions are important but foreplay sets the tone so ask your hubby to take his time discovering your body and turning you on.

Apparently, in Burundi, men are not allowed to penetrate until a woman has climaxed… We should make this a national slogan.

  • Your clitoris is that little hard button just under where the inner lips of your vulva meet. Most women report orgasms from clitoral manipulation either through oral sex or fingers.
  • Positions that allow him to rub your clitoris during intercourse are a great way to achieve orgasm – doggy-style, you on top, spooning (whereby you are both on your sides and he enters you from the rear).
  • Buy lubricant. Durex have a whole range and there is always KY jelly. Sex is a lot more enjoyable when you are lubricated and you can continue for as long as it takes for you to orgasm.

Sex is about discovery and fun, so please do not forget to bring your sense of humour into the bedroom. It is not urgent and, trust me, you will live to screw another day.

Only 30 per cent of women orgasm during intercourse. So you 70 per cent, how have you dealt with this? Comment below or join the discussion on Love Matters Naija and Love Matters Kenya.

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