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7 ways to boost your sexual confidence

A lot of things affect sexual pleasure and satisfaction. Sexual confidence is one of them.

Sexual confidence is not about how big your penis is, how yummy your vagina is, how long you can last in bed, or even how well-toned your body is. It is about awareness of your needs and those of your partner. It is about knowing what you and/or your partner want during sex or intimacy and getting it.

People who are sexually confident tend to be more active sexually, relaxed, present, and have lots of fun during sex. These people are not overly self-conscious, constantly worry about failure.

Does sexual confidence sound like something you’d like to add to your skills? Yes?  Here’s how you can boost it. 

  1. Believe you deserve pleasure

    Start to work on what your needs are and believe that they should be met. When you are sexually confident, you firmly believe that you deserve ultimate pleasure, joy, and satisfaction.

  2. Understand that sex is not magical

    Porn and movies have led us into believing that we don’t need to talk about our sexual needs and wants. In real life, communication is key thus do not assume that the guessing game will work. Be open about what you like and ask your partner what they like as well.

    Understand that your needs can only be met if there’s open and honest communication about what you like. At first, it may be awkward talking about sexual preferences but with time you will get the confidence to articulate your needs. This will ultimately lead to incredible sex with your partner.

  3. Be open to learning

    Explore new things. The desire to learn and unlearn is important when building your sexual confidence. Work on learning new things as this encourages you to try out new things as well. Exercise patience in the process of trying new things as this can take time to perfect.

  4. Be present

    Nothings gets in the way of sexual pleasure and satisfaction like having wild thoughts that take away from the moment. Some people may worry about their performance, penis or vagina size and shape, the faces they make during sex, whether they’ve locked the door, whether they’ve replied to an important email, etc.

    Body confidence is a major point of concern for both men and women. Try to be as present as possible since this helps you fully enjoy the sensations that your body is experiencing during sex.

  5. Get intimate…with yourself

    Take time to know yourself intimately. You will thank yourself. This means learning about what you like and don’t like. To achieve this, you will need to be very honest with yourself. Think about your feelings and past experiences around sexuality matters. This will help you understand your present habits and patterns.

    If these feelings or experiences are toxic, acknowledge them and work on healing. This helps build a great relationship with yourself before you get into one with someone else. If your relationship with yourself is complicated or an ‘entanglement’ it is likely that all other relationships will not work.

  6. Things don’t always favor us

    Always prepare for some hiccups when it comes to sex. Sometimes your penis may not get hard, the vagina may not be lubricated, you may unintentionally hit your partner in the face, you may fart loudly, etc. Work on being okay with such circumstances and do not let them deter you from having a good time.

    Do not let such events make you shy or anxious each time you are about to get intimate with your time. Laugh it off is possible – well don’t laugh if you’ve hit someone. Laughter can help cut the tension that may be built. It is life, things happen and we must move forward regardless. Prepare for the worse but always have success in mind.

  7. Set boundaries

    Every human being should have boundaries for various facets of their life. Be that person who sets sexual boundaries and at the same time accepts those set by other people.

What does sexual confidence mean to you?

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