Wooden figurine kneeling on all fours

Anal sex: not for me?

Bridget was never keen on anal sex, and all the myths she’d heard only hardened her resolve. Would unlearning some misconceptions make her change her mind?

I think not

I’ve never really considered myself a prude. I mean, I’ve been sexually active since my late teens, I’m not shy talking about sex, I don’t judge people who have multiple sex partners since I’d dabbled in that myself.

Considering that I am a young woman in a predominantly patriarchal African country, you can see these are things that could be used to rebuke me.

Some things, though… They just never sat well with me.

Anal intercourse is one of those things. I just don’t get it. There are perfectly good sexual organs that are there for your pleasure. Why even try anal sex? Especially as someone with Irritable Bowel Syndrome and whose stomach almost never agrees with me… You want me to put my boyfriend and myself at the mercy of what I last had to eat, at the risk of forever destroying my favourite bed sheets forever? I think not.

Urban legends

Then there are the myths.

If you let your boyfriend enter you anally, he’ll never want to have vaginal sex with you again. It’s way tighter than the latter. Or that if your boyfriend keeps asking you for anal sex, he may be secretly gay. Or that if you don’t have an enema before anal sex, you’re in for a messy time.

Look, I may be adventurous… But I’m not that adventurous.

So when my boyfriend finally did broach the subject of anal sex, I declined as politely as possible.

I appreciate him for that though, he’s miles better than the men who just do it to the women they’re sleeping with under the guise of ‘the wrong hole’.

Later he asked about it, and I ended up telling him what I had heard about anal sex. Since we weren’t really authorities on it, we agreed to leave it for when we had done more research.

Myth busted

Eventually, I found out that a lot of what I had been told wasn’t true. Having ‘that’ kind of sex didn’t mean you’d end up wearing a diaper for the rest of your life. It didn’t mean that your boyfriend would forever forsake your vagina, and if he was secretly gay he could just as well be having vaginal sex with you for cover. Enemas were advisable, because poop.

I like spontaneity though; so all that prep work really isn’t for me.

So the time came when my boyfriend asked me again. I still wasn’t comfortable with it, so I politely declined again. He was okay with it; he’d heard a lot about it from his friends and wanted to see what the hype was about. Apparently, it’s all the rage with the kids nowadays.

Not these kids though. Maybe my interest will be piqued one day and I’ll be tempted to try it, but until then I’ll stick to what I know oh so well.

Would you or have you try anal sex? Share your thoughts below or on Facebook.

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LoveMatters Africa

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