Our sex therapist talks penis size
Hanging low or swinging slow, short and fat or long and squat – what’s size got to do with it?
Why would we think that penis size matters in the first place?
Penis size may not matter as much you think or may believe. It is largely about perception. The way we feel about penis size is sometimes culturally and/or socially driven. Our interpersonal relationships with family and peers can also determine how we see penis size and the importance of having a large penis. Most importantly, if our view of sex is only penetrative, this can also drive us to believe that sexual performance (or the lack of it) has everything to do with how large the penis is.
Sex goes beyond being penetrative…
As sex goes beyond just being penetrative, how you feel about your penis holds more value than when you compare it to anyone else’s – maybe in a shared changing room or shower room. The fact that your mind speaks to your body is an indication that how you feel about yourself is important and can determine how you will feel when you are with someone else.
There are also so many ways you can connect with your partner, so trying out different things like tantric sex, introducing toys, kissing, touching (there are more than 5 different types), different types of sex, incorporating more play in lovemaking; are just a few examples on how you can expand your sexual hemisphere and adventures!
So how big should a penis really be?
Wylie and Eardley (2007) reported that many men fear that they are under-endowed – specifically that their penis is too small to arouse or physically satisfy their partners or that its small size will provoke ridicule from their peers. They further identified that erect penises are rarely seen, and it is very possible to develop erroneous ideas about the average or most desirable size of the penis – as it could have come from watching pornography, for example.
So, what is the average size of a penis?
The average size of a penis when flaccid is 3.5 inches (8.8 cm) and when erect, 5.1 inches (12.9 cm). If you decide you would like to measure your penis, measuring it along the underside of the penis to the tip of the penis is the best way.
Do penis pumps work?
Penis pumps (or vacuum constriction systems) are normally used to treat erectile disorder. Erectile disorder can be treated with this non-drug solution. It is best to see a medical doctor, who would be able to recommend a medical-grade device rather than one bought on the internet or in a sex shop. Some medical research also suggests that prolonged use can be harmful; therefore, this needs to be used under a medical doctor’s supervision.
What about Viagra?
Viagra is also used to treat erectile disorder. It is a drug solution that gained popularity in 1998 and should be prescribed by a medical doctor, even though you can get it over the counter in Kenya. Viagra does not have any direct effect on sexual desire, but it may do so indirectly by making a man more confident in his ability to perform (Levay, Levay & Baldwin, 2015).
Today, there are other drugs available such as Cialis, Levitra and Stendra; Cialis is currently the market leader as it is longer acting. These drugs have been found to have some undesirable side effects. If taken without medical supervision and used recreationally, one may lose their ability to perform satisfactorily without the drug (Harte & Meston, 2012).
What is the biggest sex organ?
The brain is the biggest sex organ and specific parts of the brain such as the Limbic system and the Amygdala are the keys to switch it on; so if we focus on this for a second; we can start to see that we are more than our genitals.
A couple of things to consider…
We are all made the way we are made. While penis size can make a difference in certain aspects of sensation when having penetrative sex, it is only one of the many kinds of sensations and stimulations that you can enjoy with your partner. Also, a large penis or a wet vagina may not create a solid relationship; so be kind to your partner, work on understanding them, love them, communicate and share with them; and always be safe.
Does size make a difference for you?
Tell us what you think
Recent Comments (16)
Important
Important
Yes indeed!
Yes indeed!
educative piece
educative piece
Hi Alex, thank you for your…
Hi Alex, thank you for your feedback. Please feel free to go through the website to find other articles that may be of help.
Yes I think size matters. I…
Yes I think size matters. I’m not a girl so I don’t know for sure,but I would think that a longer and fatter penis has to feel better. It will fill up there pussy. Like my ex GF said looking at a big penis is more of a turn on for her. You can fantasize about it how it’s going to feel. I agreed with her. But sometimes I can’t believe how big a penis can get. If it to big it looks like work u have to do before u can put it in her. U have to get her ready for it
Hi Derek, thank you for your…
Hi Derek, thank you for your input and for sharing your thoughts with us! Furthermore, you are completely right, the larger the penis, the more foreplay that has to be involved and possibly lubricants so that you do not hurt your female partner. How does your current partner feel about sex with you?
She loves it. I’m the…
She loves it. I’m the biggest dick she been with. She always wanted to have sex with someone who had a huge dick. She agrees that there are other factors that make having good sex. What she really likes about me is that she can talk about what turns her on. That’s she never felt comfortable enought with a guy to talk to aguy about what she likes and what turns her on. She tells me for the first time she can say what she wants. That’s more important then having a giant dick. Having a bf who has a very large dick is a turn on for her. Bc u can fantasize about it how it’s going to feel. The visual seeing a big dick is amazing. She really loves having foreplay. She tells me to get her ready so she can take my dick. My pass gf had guys who had porn size dicks. They would tell me all about them. I tell my gf about my pass gfs that she is the first that I been with that hasn’t had bigger. I told her it’s a huge turn on how my huge dick turns u on. She tells me that liking the same thing and that she can be herself is more important then having a bf who has a huge dick. But having both is very nice.
Thank you very much for your…
Thank you very much for your input Derek.
Very educative
Very educative
Thank you so much for your…
Thank you so much for your feedback, we appreciate it. Please feel free to go through the website to find other articles that may be of help to you.
Yes, size obviously matters…
Yes, size obviously matters. The fact that the question is eternal is prima facie evidence of its importance. What terrifies less-endowed men is fear of the unknown: how will their potential partner react, and will they say anything? Not to mention the after-the-fact gossiping sessions that can destroy a man’s self-confidence.
Keep in mind that it takes just ONE WOMAN to scoff or laugh to absolutely ruin a man. Then what? For the man, the only surefire way to prevent getting hurt is to shut up and take a seat in the corner, because only well-endowed men deserve to feel the touch of a woman.
Less-endowed men are still men. Never forget that.
Thank you so much for your…
Thank you so much for your input, we appreciate it. However, your statement makes the sweeping assumption that all women want and are looking for well endowed men. This is not the case. Also what is “well endowed”? This is a very subjective thing, no?
I have in the past wrote in…
I have in the past wrote in if you comments about this subject. I had two different girlfriends. That we used to talk about penis size. I asked them if you can design your own penis to be on your man how big how long how fat would it be. It all depends on the girl. What she has experience in her past. What kind influence she’s been exposed to her peers society and watching pornography. But they all said one thing in common. That they had to be in love with her man. What u said in ur article is 100% right. Just having a big penis doesn’t create a solid relationship. My dad told me Rip. If you want good relationship with a woman and a man that you both have to do a few things to have that to happen
1 you have to tell the truth to each other
2 no lying by admission
3 you can’t sweep anything underneath the carpet
4 you have to communicate your needs and desires.
Without these basic four things your relationship is doomed
Thank you for your valuable…
Thank you for your valuable feedback, Derek, and always pleased to help. Feel free to go through more of our content to help you make more informed decisions and do not hesitate to get in touch with us in case you have any questions. Have a wonderful week and stay safe!
Terrible article doesn’t…
Terrible article doesn’t help at all. Every woman says and thinks bigger is better and this article has not helped us guys who aren’t big, if anything it made me feel worse
Hi Dale,
Not every woman…
Hi Dale,
Not every woman thinks and say bigger is better. I understand that you may have met women who say that but this is not the thinking of all women. Also, the article is really comforting to men who may not feel well endowed as it starts by saying ‘Penis size may not matter as much you think or may believe. It is largely about perception. The way we feel about penis size is sometimes culturally and/or socially driven…’ Of course, she has considered different perspectives on the issue of penis size. If you would like more information that addresses this topic more, read this article: Are you worrid that your penis is too small? and Why are men so obsessed with penis size?