Valentine, on-call
Alphonce Omondi

Does sex hurt with a foreskin?

The foreskin of my penis is still intact, so will first-time sex be painful? wonders a reader. Valentine responds with a ‘WOW!’

Wow! I won’t lie: your question is a bit challenging to answer. Most of the men I know seem to be circumcised and they didn’t have sex when they were uncircumcised.

Should be fine

But in general, it shouldn’t be very uncomfortable. It’s only in very rare cases that a foreskin is too small and causes consistent pain during sex. If that proves to be the case with you, go see a doctor who will be able to help you solve this.

Uncomfortable friction

I did finally find an uncircumcised friend-of-a-friend who said it hurt the first time. But for him, it got better very quickly. He explained that when you are uncircumcised the foreskin retracts to allow the erect penis room to grow.

The foreskin moves back and forth during sex and the friction can cause you some discomfort but you will get used to it as your skin becomes less sensitive to this type of touch.

The use of lubricant will also decrease the intensity of the friction.

Try it out

Incidentally, you could masturbate and this could help you get acclimatised to the sensation. If you are still uncomfortable, or your foreskin feels too tight, then you could try applying a lubricant and stretching it slowly and gently with your fingers.

I think first-time sex is uncomfortable for many reasons: being naked with another person, having them see you mid-orgasm, the noises our bodies make, the smells etc. Our partners get to see us without artifice and that can be awkward.

I don’t know how to grade the pain or discomfort you may feel, but if it occurs it shall likely pass soon enough. Of course, if you wear a condom, it will protect you from disease, unwanted parenthood, and reduce the friction so it shouldn’t hurt at all ;).


Does anyone else have a better answer for our friend? Leave a comment below!

Tell us what you think

Recent Comments (66)

  1. If my memory serves me right
    If my memory serves me right,the last time i checked,i had serious bruises on my genitals when i first had sex with the prepuce intact…..so,the presence of the foreskin amounts to ”discomfort beyond repair” during copulation!

    1. Hi Rajula,

      Hi Rajula,
      that is more than unusual, and quite concerning. We hope you had this checked by a doctor.

    1. Or check with a doctor?
      Or check with a doctor?

  2. i had sex aftar 2 days i hv
    i had sex aftar 2 days i hv finishd receivn ma period.A my save!???

    1. Yep, you should be. But
      Yep, you should be. But please, use contraception from now on, and, in case of emergency, you can take the morning-after pill. But only in case of emergency, it shouldn’t be your main mode of contraception.

  3. Ive aquestion n ma question
    Ive aquestion n ma question iz,hw cn u knw tat aman iz virgin bcz men normally luk 4 avirgin galz while ’em dey arn’t?? hlp me pliz coz isee tatz nt fair at all.

    1. Hi Lamis,

      Hi Lamis,
      that’s a very good question. And, the only way to truly know (this is true for both men and women, by the way), is to ask them and believe their answer. It’s impossible to see if someone is a virgin (in women, people believe they must bleed, which is a myth). And you are absolutely right: it’s not fair at all that men want virgins.

  4. I had sex one day after ma
    I had sex one day after ma periods, am i safe?

  5. when i wana want to have sex
    when i wana want to have sex with ma gal i release too early what should i do to overcome that

    1. Hi Wilika,

      Hi Wilika,
      It sounds like you are coming earlier than you would like, this often happens to young men who don’t have a lot of sexual experience because they get very aroused very easily. With more sexually experienced men, it might be due to psychological problems, like fear, stress or depression.
      Generally though go slow, enjoy the buildup of touching and caressing each other. Make time for oral sex during your physical interactions. Take time focusing on your partner as well as yourself. Communicate together about what feels nice, what doesn’t and what you would like to try together. Experiment, explore and try new things!
      Make sure to use lots of lube and switch up the fun. Even if you do orgasm you can take some time to have oral sex with your partner until your body is ready to go again. Change positions and mix it up.
      Some people say condoms help them last longer, while others may use cock rings (just make sure it is the right size and not too tight!).
      Generally just remember that sex is more than just penetration and there are lots of ways to enjoy each other.
      If you are finding that you really cannot maintain an erection then it might be time to see a doctor. There are some medical conditions that can affect your performance but would need to be looked by a professional.
      You can also keep masturbating, however challenge yourself to last longer. Go slow, feel the way your body changes when you are getting closer to climax. Tease yourself, find tricks that help you delay the finish.

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      do you think the circumcision is the best answer?

    1. And what do you think after
      And what do you think after reading the article?

  6. i nid to upgrade my shots to
    i nid to upgrade my shots to 8 per 1 nyt. wat am i supposed to do

    1. Hi Adamz,

      Hi Adamz,
      why in the world would you need this?! If your goal is to satisfy a woman, I have a secret for you: quality is better than quantity. One or two times, with lots of attention to the clitoris, foreplay, maybe a bit of oral, intercourse and afterplay, is far better than rushing through 8 times! For women, the in-and-out of intercourse doesn’t do much for satisfaction, unless the clitoris is stimulated at the same time. Funnily enough, someone else has asked about eight times before. Check this: http://lovematters.co.ke/news/young-dumb-and-full

  7. Is there any health effect of
    Is there any health effect of masturbation!?

  8. My gal cums very quickly,
    My gal cums very quickly, just a foreplay, she has cum…and when she cums, she becomes very hard on the lower abdomen… She can cum three times for me cumming once…it lasts about 10-15 minutes… Is it normal… And if normal, how comes she wet the bed very much? And we are married for one year and not yet conceive… Is it the course.. And we have sex at least everyday and she cums everyday and we always enjoy every bit of it…her mp never skip days… Please help..

    1. Hi Njesh,

      Hi Njesh,
      so many questions 🙂
      Firstly, be happy she orgasms so easily- many men complain that their partners take too long or don’t orgasm at all!
      And yes, everything you describe can be normal. Wetting the bed is vaginal fluid, and or squirting- it’s not like she is urinating. All good.
      Now, regarding the pregnancy- it’s normal that it might take a year or even two to conceive. But you are having a lot of sex, so it is a bit unusual. You might want to discuss this with a doctor.
      Does this help?

  9. if ur having sex with a
    if ur having sex with a virgin should she bleed immediately or even Latter after sex??

  10. About 80% of the men in the
    About 80% of the men in the world aren’t circumcised. Among non-Muslims, circumcision is almost exclusively a stupid American fad. So “intact sex” is the norm. If it wasn’t the better way, guys in other countries would line up to get circumcised. They don’t. Instead, millions of circumcised men wish they weren’t cut. The foreskin is designed to give us better, more gliding, more sensation-al sex.

    1. Hi Martin,

      Hi Martin,
      thanks for sharing this. Indeed, before making the choice to get circumcised, men should make that decision well-informed.

    2. Wherever you are Martin, you
      Wherever you are Martin, you deserve a bottle of Chardonnay from me for that brilliant response. The foreskin makes masturbation and sex amazing. Everybody deserves to test and taste the experience before choosing to cut or not

    3. Bullshit Martin, get your facts straight before spreading misinformation.

  11. if smwan masturbate is th
    if smwan masturbate is th rate of birth decrease?

    1. Hi Daeni,

      Hi Daeni,
      no. Masturbation does not affect a man’s (or woman’s) fertility.

  12. thankz for this educative
    thankz for this educative article

    1. You are welcome, Isaac!
      You are welcome, Isaac!

  13. everytime am in a
    everytime am in a relationship I get bored very fast and do away with. what’s could be the problem

    1. Hi Anespo,

      Hi Anespo,
      which part of the relationship do you get bored with? Sex, being together, something else?

  14. the questions are good and
    the questions are good and genuine but most answers are incomplete and misleading.

    1. Hi Steph,

      Hi Steph,
      thanks for your input. Could you tell us some more about what bothers you with the answers?

  15. I once masturbated, but I
    I once masturbated, but I stopped thinking it’s bad, cause after every encounter I feel guilty, and I have a girlfriend, She’s a virgin, every time we try to have sex, I always can’t penetrate her, if I try too hard she complian that it hurts, and she Really want to get laid. help!

  16. Am learning alot frm the Q/A.
    Am learning alot frm the Q/A.

    1. We are glad to hear that,
      We are glad to hear that, Abdi!

  17. is it true that juice lemon
    is it true that juice lemon fruit helps ladies pussy to grow tight besides being antivirus,antifungie and antibateria?

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      lemon juice is indeed being investigated for it’s birth control and STD prevention functions, but you should under no circumstances try to experiment with lemon juice. It could seriously mess up the vagina’s health and cause more bad than good.
      As for tightness, nothing works better than Kegel exercises: http://lovematters.co.ke/news/miracle-vagina

  18. Does breastfeeding a neonate
    Does breastfeeding a neonate help to reduce the size of the birth canal 2it’s normal size,

    1. What’s just for fun?
      What’s just for fun?

  19. i had sex with my girlfriend
    i had sex with my girlfriend last week nd i did nt cum….at all .till she asked me ‘whatsrong swryy you taking much tym in cuming…nd i have aleadu cum 3 tyms :

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      sometimes, you just won’t come. That’s okay. It can happen. Don’t stress about it, and don’t let it get in the way next time.

  20. i masturbate daily..is there
    i masturbate daily..is there any effect?

  21. my gf has been using
    my gf has been using contraceptives(3month injection) but for the last 5 months she dint tek the niddle. now for the last 2 months she hasnt seen her period n she thinks she is pregnant even after testing -ve for the medical test kit. is she pregnant????

    1. Hi Denis,

      Hi Denis,
      after she’s been on a hormonal contraceptive for a while, it can be possible that it takes a while for her normal period to come back.
      So if the test is repeatedly negative, it’s most likely it’s just an aftereffect of the contraceptive.
      If this continuous though, she might want to take another test soon.

  22. Am married for one year to
    Am married for one year to circumcised woman of Somali tribe. She ws divorced. We got married. We hv challenges that by jst foreplay she got high n she tells me let’s do or if I continue touc
    hing she loose da sex urge. She is beautiful n she told me my previous husband use to rape her.

    1. Hi Mohamed,

      Hi Mohamed,
      wow, you have a task ahead of you. If she has been raped, and has undergone FGM, chances are that there are lots of negative emotions associated with sex for her. If she is afraid of sex, or apprehensive, I suggest that counseling might be a good idea for her. For now, be gentle and understanding, and try not to pressure her into anything she is unwilling to do. Good luck!

  23. I read through an article
    I read through an article that reveals that uncircumcised men don’t last long. The fore skin gives them too much sensation and makes them cum too quickly.

    A female friend revealed to me that they (girls) prefer a circumcised male. Bcus a circumcised male wil nt cum fast thus, making the lady enjoy him well and might even cum b4 him or they both cum at same time.

    Pls ladies who have tested the two, cut and uncut which is better and sweeter. I love this page. I am becoming an addict here.

    1. Haha, we think a Love Matters
      Haha, we think a Love Matters addiction can be very healthy!

      With regards to the circumcised vs. uncircumcised debate, we don’t think it will ever be answered. Some prefer one way, others the other!

    2. As another self confessed
      As another self confessed love matters addict, I love my foreskin to the death and will set the record straight.
      1. No woman can really tell the difference between the thrust of a cut or uncut penis once its hard and inside her.
      2. Being cut or uncut has nothing to do with the speed with which you cum, thats a matter of personal technique. The extra or extreme sensation is something we are used to and have learned to adapt.
      3. Most women who claim to prefer cut men have probably never been with one and are just stereotypical to the negative political ethnicity that stigmatizes uncut folk.

    3. Thanks for your input Jerry.
      Thanks for your input Jerry. I’m also eager to hear what the ladies will say.

  24. Hi there…I recently started
    Hi there…I recently started having sex and I have no confidence that I can impress my man just cause I feel intimidated by the fact that he is way older than me with kids which obviously means he has a lot of experience.. what do I do heeeelp

    1. Don’t worry, Spheh.

      Don’t worry, Spheh.
      Make him feel like he can teach you. Ask him to show you what he likes, and let him help you! He’ll be thrilled, trust me!
      Don’t forget your own pleasure in this, though- you deserve pleasure as much as he does!

  25. Does circumcision reduce…
    Does circumcision reduce penile sensitivity

    1. Hi Jury, removal of the fore…

      Hi Jury, removal of the fore skin means that the head of the penis will be exposed and thus with time it will become less sensitive as compared to one that is always covered by the fore skin. As a result there will be a reduction in penile sensitivity but this may also be an advantage since one maybe able to last longer during sex. Also, remember that circumcision in heterosexual men helps reduce the chance of getting infected with HIV. Have a look at this article for additional information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/our-bodies/male-body/circumcision

  26. Hello I have an Issue. When…
    Hello I have an Issue. When i was 13 i had sex for the first time. THe girl was dry and it was very painful. THe second time i was 14 and the girls were wet and i was drunk so it was a little less painful for me. I have a girlfriend now and we tried but she was very wet and i was very sober and i could not get my dick in the hole nore could i enjoy without pain. I am uncircumsiced and when i masturbate the skin doesnt go past the penis head. I can peel it back pretty easy but when i masturbate or have sex it is very painful. I love my gf and i want to have a sex life but the foreskin hurts me when i engage in anything sexual and it goes over the head. I received head from her and the first time it was uncomfortable due to the skin. THe second time i held the bottom of my penis so the skin doesn’t go past the head and it felt pretty good. But how do i enjoy a normal sex life without circumcision?

  27. Hi Dom, thank you for…

    Hi Dom, thank you for getting in touch with us and we are so sorry that you are going through a hard time. First and foremost, if you live in Kenya, you should be aware that the legal age to have sexual intercourse is 18 and having sex before then is a legally punishable offense. Secondly, drinking below the age of 18 is also a punishable offense and if you are not yet of legal age, you should refrain from participating in both activities. We appreciate that you are able to reach out to us and share so do not feel any form of judgment at our end, we are simply looking out for you. Do you mind telling us how you got introduced to such habits at such a young age? 

    Regarding your sexual issues, first and foremost, kindly refrain from participating in sexual activities until you are of legal age. Regarding the discomfort coming from your foreskin, it is best to visit your doctor to get a proper diagnosis and consultation on what are the best steps to take moving forward. Circumcision may be necessary if this discomfort persists.

  28. Hell yes it hurts if you’re…
    Hell yes it hurts if you’re uncircumcised!! OMG. Hispanics are rarely circumcised if born in Mexico as the previous Mitch said something thing it is true! She mark I still wonder what’s Google the friend you found?

    1. Hi Mitch, 

      I definitely…

      Hi Mitch, 

      I definitely learned something new from you today! It is true circumcision is less common among Hispanic men. 

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