Ménage a trois: Is three always a crowd?
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Ménage a trois: Is three always a crowd?

A threesome! Celine’s husband blurted out when she asked him what his ultimate sexual fantasy was.

‘I have never been one to shy away from sexual experimentation and I think my liberal attitude is what emboldened my husband to suggest that we have a ménage a trois.

‘Let’s just say I was also curious about threesomes. His suggestion just piqued my curiosity more. I didn’t need much convincing. Anyway, what could go wrong?

‘My husband and I discussed it at length, and the more we talked about it, the more eager we became. He left it to me to find the third party. The perfect candidate was my close friend Cindy who is bisexual and single. I also knew that she and my husband would be comfortable with each other.’

Setting boundaries

‘The three of us sat down to talk. We set boundaries so no one would feel violated in any way. We clearly stated how intense we intended to get. And whether my hubby was allowed to penetrate Cindy – which he was. And, yes, my husband knows how lucky he is to have me as his wife…

‘We also talked about protection. The burden fell on my husband so we made sure there were enough condoms so he could use fresh ones on each of us. Every step was taken to avoid the mixing of body fluids. For example, fingering was to be done with a specific hand for each person.

All of us understood that we would only enjoy the experience if we felt safe and comfortable. After all, my husband and I had a marriage that needed to remain intact above all else.

Dealing with awkwardness

‘I will admit I felt awkward at first. It was three of us. Naked.

‘But Cindy proved her expertise. With the help of my husband they were able to diffuse the tension with a few jokes and laughter.’

‘We understood that the idea was that the three of us would have fun together. There will always be a risk of two out of the three pairing up and getting carried away. So my husband and I did everything to make sure that Cindy was part of the act. After all, she was the ‘spice’ for our sex life.

Fantasy vs reality

‘To pull off a ménage-a-trois successfully, you need to be open-minded and mature about it. You also have to be very secure in your relationship. Just like Vegas: what happens in a threesome, stays in a threesome.

‘Don’t let jealousy or emotional baggage get dragged from a threesome into your relationship. If you’re not sure if your relationship can survive a threesome, you are better off not trying it.

‘A threesome fulfils a fantasy. It’s not a relationship in itself, so why complicate it?’

Would you be able to handle the third party in your bed? Leave a comment below or join the discussion on Facebook, where you can find us at Love Matters Naija and Kenya.

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Recent Comments (41)

    1. What would you do if your
      What would you do if your partner asked you?

  1. No i dont c i cnt handle dat.
    No i dont c i cnt handle dat..three some.

  2. cant bear seeing my hubby
    cant bear seeing my hubby penetrating another woman, ,,

    1. Yeah, we get that 🙂
      Yeah, we get that 🙂

  3. why not. it wouldint kill
    why not. it wouldint kill anyone

    1. Probably not, as long as
      Probably not, as long as everyone agrees!

  4. Hell no ill not allow dat
    Hell no ill not allow dat shit

    1. Thanks for your comment!
      Thanks for your comment!

  5. If my wife agrees…seems it
    If my wife agrees…seems it can be fun

    1. Have you ever asked her about
      Have you ever asked her about it?

  6. hello No… cant entertain
    hello No… cant entertain dat all.

  7. i like it…its intresting
    i like it…its intresting

    1. Have you ever tried it,
      Have you ever tried it, Maxwell?

  8. i cant handle it i luv my man
    i cant handle it i luv my man na siwezi share!!

    1. That’s totally okay, Mima!
      That’s totally okay, Mima!

  9. To me even two is a problem
    To me even two is a problem!she dont like submitting am in dillemma!

    1. Jeremie,

      Jeremie,
      sex should be about giving and taking. In order to have good sex, you need to learn to deal with that. Take it slowly, step by step, and you will be fine.

  10. We r soo into each other, n
    We r soo into each other, n icant control ma jealousy waaah!!!

    1. Cynthia,

      Cynthia,
      jealousy is normal, but too much of it can destroy relationships. You need to learn how to control your feelings. Talk to your partner and figure out what the two of you can do together to make you feel more secure.

  11. Oh my i cnt see my man into
    Oh my i cnt see my man into another wman

    1. That’s okay, Noreen.
      That’s okay, Noreen.

  12. Threesome?!!!!,….. NO pliz.
    Threesome?!!!!,….. NO pliz.
    Even if am dreaming about it, I will wake up instantly.

    1. Would you ever try it?
      Would you ever try it?

  13. Why not if my wife agree!
    Why not if my wife agree!

  14. cant do that i must ask her
    cant do that i must ask her b4 we engage in that buzines

  15. no…seriously I wouldnt
    no…seriously I wouldnt

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