Man with a blissful look on his face
(C) Love Matters | Rita Lino

His orgasms

When a man gets really turned on, he can have an orgasm – in other words, he can come, or climax.

When you're aroused:

  • You get an erection – your penis goes hard and gets bigger
  • A clear fluid called pre-ejaculate comes out of the end of your penis
  • Your breathing speeds up and you may even make noises
  • Your pupils (the dark centre in your eyes) get bigger

Arousal often leads to an orgasm.

What happens when a man has an orgasm?

When a man gets really turned on, he can have an orgasm – in other words, he can come, or climax.

When you have an orgasm, your muscles contract and you ejaculate – a yellowish-white liquid comes out of your penis. Men often discover orgasms themselves when they start masturbating.

When a man comes while having intercourse, he usually stops moving back and forth. At this point, it’s usually too sensitive to move. After an orgasm, the head of the penis – the glans – becomes very sensitive. It can be very uncomfortable if you touch it.

Women, on the other hand, often enjoy it if the movement goes on for a little while after they’ve had an orgasm.

Sensitive spots

Your entire body is one big sensitive spot! But it feels particularly nice when certain parts of your body are touched – these are called erogenous zones. In men, it’s the penis and testicles, especially the head of the penis. But your neck, arms, chest, and buttocks are also sensitive.

Too fast?

Sometimes a man can reach orgasm too quickly during intercourse. This can be frustrating for you, and leave the woman feeling disappointed and unsatisfied. Both of you might feel that it was all over too soon.
Here are some tips to delay reaching a climax:

  • Take a short break
  • Switch your attention to other parts of your body
  • Think about something other than sex
  • Withdraw your penis from the vagina for a little while
  • Squeeze the base of your penis underneath with your fingers

Another orgasm?

A man can’t have another orgasm straight away. A woman can – around 10 to 15 seconds after an orgasm her clitoris returns to its normal state.

Keeping in step

Do you find that you come more quickly than she does? That’s perfectly normal. Most men reach orgasm more quickly and easily than women.
A couple of tips to help keep in step with each other:

  • Take time to build up your lovemaking. And ask your partner what she likes.
  • Put her at ease so she can just let go and enjoy you touching her without always caressing you too. Show her that you also find it really arousing to see her enjoying your caresses.

Simultaneous orgasms

Did you both have an orgasm at the same time? You’ve been lucky! Usually, it’s not so easy to have a simultaneous orgasm. When you come, you’re usually thinking about yourself and not your partner.
If you manage to come at the same time it’s nice, but it can also be exciting to come one after the other. Then you can pay more attention to your partner and enjoy seeing them have an orgasm.

Afterplay

It’s nice to enjoy cuddling, caressing, and talking after making love. Afterplay is often particularly important for women.

Comments

Hey Paulo, while how long you last should be a concern, it is also important to consider the quality of sex. Talking to your partner about sex will help improve the quality of sex, since you both will have the opportunity to share what you like during sex. I suggest you start by talking with your partner. Lastly, you should only use viagra or any other performance enhancing drugs after following the advice of a health provider. Check out the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/quantity-vs-quality-what-matters-when-it-comes-to-sex

Hey Joy, you may want to begin by asking your partner what they want and like during sex. Talking about sex goes along toward improving the experience for both partners. Check out the following articles for more tips;- 

https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/sex-the-ins-and-outs-of-intercourse

https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/talking-about-sex

Hey Joe, some women will have difficulties in get an orgasm. The key, however, to your partner having an orgasm is in knowing what will get her there in the first place. Many times a girl will not have an orgasm through intercourse only because the most sensitive part - clitoris - doesn't receive sufficient attention. One may have to either stroke it or lick it. When a girl get an orgasm, either of these fluids will be produced. It could be a white, milky fluid secreted by the female prostate gland or it could be a clear fluid that resembles pee. Have a look at the following article for more tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/orgasms/her-orgasms

Hi there, what you are experiencing is known as Premature Ejaculation which is caused by a number of reasons including fear, anxiety or even stress. Anxiety that one will not perform can make him ejaculate much earlier or stress from home or work. In other cases, particularly in young men it could be the result of sexual inexperience, and so as the young man gets older he also gains more experience in controlling ejaculation. Check out the following article for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation

Dear Austin, Penises come in different sizes and shapes. Having a bigger penis doesn’t make you a better lover, and it doesn’t mean you’ll have better sex. Girls or women find foreplay, affection and relationship satisfaction as important as their partner’s penis size. Check out the following aticle for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/our-bodies/male-body/penis-shapes-and-sizes

https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/orgasms/her-orgasms

Hi John, yes they still cam. Remember virginity is about whether a girl has had virginal sex. When she does have sex for the first time, the hymen, which is a very fragile piece of skin at the entrance of the vagina about 1-2 centimeters inside the vaginal opening will be stretched. This is not depended on the the size of a mans penis. Have a look at this article for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/virginity/busting-the-hymen-myth

I have about 7yrs doing musterbation bt nowdays I have been complaining about pain at bludder, groins problem of ED, PM,my hiar start to become white when I go to have test they say I don't have any efections, can it be musterbation effect, and how can I overcome mostly that pain,

Hi David, masturbation has no negative medical effect. Infact it can be a safe way to explore your own sexuality. If you are consistently experiencing pain, you may wan to visit a a specialist Urologist who will be able to conduct tests as appropriate and treatment as necessary. Have a look at the following article for additional information;- 

https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/masturbation-myths-busted

https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/erectile-dysfunction-top-five-facts

https://lovemattersafrica.com/our-bodies/male-body/premature-ejaculation-top-five-facts

Anonymous
Wed, 11/21/2018 - 13:53
I recently started dating thi guy who is not circumcised never had one. He always cums so fast I end frustrated during sex? Is that happening because he is not circumcised?

Hey, the head of a circumcised penis may be less sensitive, so the man can go on longer during intercourse before ejaculation. This is also means that an uncircumcised man’s penis maybe more sensitive making them to ejaculate much sooner than they want or their partner wishes. This is also known as premature ejculation; there are a few things however, a person can practice over time to try and better control their ejaculation. Check out the following articles for more information and tips;- 

https://lovemattersafrica.com/our-bodies/male-body/circumcision

https://lovemattersafrica.com/our-bodies/male-body/premature-ejaculation-top-five-facts

 

Hi there, What you experiencing is known as Premature Ejaculation. It also means you usually get sexually excited too soon. It is caused by a number of reasons including fear, anxiety or even stress. Anxiety that one will not perform can make him ejaculate much earlier or stress from home or even work. In other cases, particularly in young men it could be the result of sexual inexperience, and so as one gets older and gain more experience, they also become better at controlling their ejaculation. There are a few other things one can do to overcome this;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation

Hi Jimmy, this is called the Refractory Period and it is completely normal for men to experience it where it cannot get hard after ejaculation. Honestly, your body is just telling you that it needs some time. There is no real way to change it or make it happen less, so just try to work with your body. If you are really hoping to have more sex, then take the time to recharge and focus on your partner. This is a good time to focus on them and give them pleasure. You will become hard again in no time and continue. 

Anonymous
Wed, 12/19/2018 - 13:43
I have a problem every time I have sex I don't release or by chance I release after 40 minutes. What might be the problem. Help me get a solution.

Hi, what you are experiencing is known as Delayed ejaculation which is caused caused by psychological factors which may include stress, fear, anxiety or depression. Other reasons include the use of certain medication, infections or other physical conditions. If this is something you experience each time you have sex, it maybe use to seek medical advice to get to know exactly what is causing it in you case to get an appropriate solution. Check out the following article for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/difficulties-with-sex-men

Hey Bernard, Yes. There’s female ejaculate from a woman’s 'prostate gland' or G-spot which is a milky white fluid produced during an orgasm. Some women will also squirt out liquid when they have an orgasm. This is vaginal fluid, not urine. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/our-bodies/female-body/love-juice-the-story-of-female-ejaculation

Hi Marvin, what you experiencing is known as Premature Ejaculation. It means you usually get sexually excited too soon. It is caused by a number of reasons including fear, anxiety or even stress. Anxiety that one will not perform can make him ejaculate much earlier or stress from home or even work. In other cases, particularly in young men it could be the result of sexual inexperience, and so as one gets older and gain more experience, they also become better at controlling their ejaculation. There are a few other things one can do to overcome this;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation

Dear Author, so sorry about this. Painful erections can be a sign erectile dysfunction especially if the pain is accompanied by other symptoms like in ability to get or maintain an erection. It is important that you seek the services of health provider who will be able to advice. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/four-signs-you-have-erectile-dysfunction

Dear Robbie, it is completely normal for men to have what is called a refractory period, where the penis cannot get hard after ejaculation. Honestly, your body is just telling you that it needs some time. There is no real way to change it or make it happen less, so just try to work with your body. If you are really hoping to have more sex, then take the time to recharge and focus on your partner. This is a good time to focus on them and give them pleasure. You will become hard again in no time and continue. 

Hi Freddy, you can't really tell if your sperm is healthy by just look at your semen. Semen should however be a sticky white liquid and this is what contains millions of tiny sperm cells. When exposes to light and over time it changes in color and texture. Have a look at the following articles for additional information;- 

https://lovemattersafrica.com/our-bodies/male-body/ejaculation

https://lovemattersafrica.com/our-bodies/male-body/eight-tips-to-keep-your-sperm-healthy

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