Tantric sex is a sexual/spiritual practice that emerged thousands of years ago out of ancient India. The word 'tantra' comes from Sanskrit and means 'expansion through awareness.' In tantra, the exploration of sexual pleasures is a sacred act that can unite partners and inspire intimacy on many different levels. In brief, it is a slow form of lovemaking, designed to increase intimacy between partners and foster connections between mind and body using breath, sounds, movements and symbols that calm the mind and activate sexual energy, resulting to powerful orgasms. Such extraordinary orgasms are not the only goal of the practice, however. Tantric Sex is mostly about being alive to the moment and to each other, experiencing each sensation (yours and your partner's) with focused intensity.
Don’t worry – tantric sex isn’t that difficult. And, as it’s not oriented towards any goal, you don’t have to expend take effort learning what to do. The most basic thing is to forget about achieving orgasm and instead focus on enjoying the lovemaking process itself until enough tension has built to produce a powerful climax. But delaying ejaculation (sometimes for hours, as some tantric sex practitioners do), is not so easily done. Because of this, there are a number of tantric methods to delay orgasm, including breath control, changing positions, massage and meditation.
Not only is Tantric sex a great way to become more intimate with your partner, but it can also improve your sexual health in a natural way. The frequent and powerful orgasms tantric sex practitioners tend to experience increase their levels of the orgasm hormone oxytocin, which causes couples to be more inclined to experience feelings of trust and connection. According to the American Psychological Association, oxytocin is naturally produced in the hypothalamus and released from the pituitary gland during touching, kissing and especially orgasm, altering the chemistry of the body and helping to reduce stress and depression, which in turn positively benefits one’s career, marriage, and emotional and social life.
Tantric sex is about intimacy between partners, so to get started you can begin with a few basic techniques, such as tuning into each other’s breathing (inhale as your partner exhales and vice versa). This enhances your connection and helps focus your minds on what is happening at each moment. Another basic practice is sitting face-to-face, so as to make eye contact, and moving and breathing slowly, working towards a gradual build-up of pleasure. The more slowly you go the more you can allow your feelings and sensations to build up, and the more intense your eventual orgasm will be.
For those interested in exploring more techniques and theory, a good place to begin is The Complete Idiot's Guide To Tantric Sex by Dr. Judy Kuriansky, PhD., a world-renowned clinical psychologist and sex therapist. This book offers a comprehensive, easy-to-follow, hands-on guide. There are also a number of videos on the internet, and hands-on classes available in select cities around the world.
Tantric sex is more about the process than final results. There are a few basic principles. You should start by creating the ideal setting for your lovemaking, with a comfortable bed, soft lighting, pleasant scents and so forth. Then, a good way to begin syncing with your partner is by harmonising your breath, as mentioned above. This is best done while facing each other in a seated position, with the woman straddling the man. Next, be sure to keep your eyes open and in contact with your partner’s. This isn’t as easy as it sounds, as one is bound to feel self-conscious about another staring into your eyes, but if you keep with it, the results can be profoundly moving.
As a last basic principle: go slow. Foreplay is essential in Tantric sex. The longer you take the more energy you will build. During this time you should try to remain fully focused on your partner. If your thoughts begin to drift, bring them back to the sensations you’re feeling. If you find you like the novel sensations and emotions aroused by tantric sex, begin exploring for more techniques in books and on the internet.
Have you ever tried Tantric sex? How was it? We’d love to hear from you. Leave a comment below or on Facebook… We’re waiting!