First time sex: do’s and don’ts
Thinking of having sex for the first time? It’s normal to be nervous. All first-timers face the same kind of anxiety. We’d like your first time to be pleasant and memorable, so here are our top tips to help you overcome some of your nerves.
Your first time having intercourse should be with someone you trust and like or love. You shouldn’t have sex under any kind of pressure – whether it’s from your partner or your peers. You should make this choice by yourself and feel comfortable with it.
Once you’re sure about wanting to lose your virginity, you can think of a comfortable place and time to do it. It should be somewhere both of you can have enough time before and after sex – a place where you won’t be disturbed.
Build up slowly
Take your time to relax and be comfortable around each other. Sex is not just about penetration. Foreplay is an essential part of sex. Kiss, caress, hug and touch each other in ways you enjoy – if you need inspiration, read here about the many ways to make love. Do everything you can to turn each other on.
If you’re a woman about to lose your virginity, you’re probably worried that sex will be painful. But it doesn’t have to be if you’re well-lubricated. Of course women become wet naturally when they are aroused, so it’s important to take the time to get really turned on before he puts his penis in your vagina. A water-based lubricant can also make the process easier.
Pay attention to your partner
It’s vital to communicate during sex. You can do so by talking to each other sensually or by making gestures or with eye contact. The key is to always be aware of your partner’s feelings. This way you will know whether your partner enjoys what you’re doing or not.
Say ‘no’ if you’ve changed your mind
While you’re in bed with your partner, you might want change your mind about going all the way. If you do, feel brave enough to speak up. You have every right to say no at any time. If your partner truly cares for and loves you, he or she will stand by your choice and give you as much time as you need to be OK with losing your virginity.
Use protection and preferably another form of birth control. While condoms protect you against sexually transmitted diseases, the contraceptive will safeguard you against pregnancy in case the condom rips or slips.
Do it if you’re too drunk
While a little bit of alcohol can help you break the ice and start a conversation, too much of it can impair your judgment. You might regret your actions the next morning. Being drunk could also carry other risks such as forgetting to use condoms or contraceptives. Read more in our sex and alcohol top five facts.
Have very high expectations
Don’t assume that first-time sex will be earth-shattering. Most likely, it won’t. Sex gets better as you get to know a person over time and build a lasting relationship with them. So if first-time sex doesn’t end up being as exciting as you imagined it to be, don’t fret. This is just the beginning!
Here are a few more first time sex tips before you go ahead. Try to stay relaxed and focus on enjoying the moment. We wish you a good time!
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