Female Virginity: top five facts
Quinn Dombrowski under CC licence

Female virginity: top five facts

Even today, in many cultures it’s very important for a girl to be a virgin when she gets married. Learn all you need to know about virginity.

  1. What is virginity all about?

    There is no single way to define virginity. There are many different views on who is considered a virgin. To start with, when we talk about virgins, we mostly mean women. Virginity in men isn’t very important in many societies. Most of the time, people believe that women who have never had vaginal sex are virgins. To others, even having had genital contact, or anal sex or oral stimulation, means that they are no longer virgins.

    The ancient Romans and Greeks believed that virgins were independent of men, which was a good thing to them. Only later did this change to a woman being ‘unspoiled’ and upholding a family’s honour if she got married a virgin. Also, because birth control methods were either unavailable or working badly, staying a virgin meant avoiding to get pregnant outside of marriage.

  2. The hymen

    The hymen is the holy grail of female virginity. It’s a very fragile piece of skin at the entrance of the vagina. It’s part of the vulva and outside the vagina, not deep within. The hymen is very elastic, so sometimes vaginal sex or even giving birth won’t make it tear. And in some women, it tears without sex, for example during a fall or by stretching.

    It doesn’t take force to break the hymen. In fact, being gentle when having sex for the first time can make the experience more pleasant and avoids pain.

    It also is a common misconception that a woman bleeds when the hymen is torn. This isn’t always the case. So if there isn’t any blood when a woman has sex for the first time, it’s doesn’t mean that she isn’t a virgin.

    Lastly, even very experienced doctors aren’t able to tell for certain whether or not a woman is a virgin, so virginity testing is not at all reliable. There’s only one way to find out if a woman is a virgin: asking her and believing her answer.  

  3. Hymenorrhaphy

    This big word means restoring the hymen in women who no longer have an intact hymen. In a surgery, the edges of the hymen are pulled back together, so that it looks like the woman hasn’t had vaginal sex or her hymen torn in any other way. It takes about 30 minutes and is done with local anesthesia only, which makes it a pretty safe procedure. Usually, you won’t be able to see any scars around the hymen. The procedure isn’t cheap though, depending on where you are.

  4. Womb fury

    A few hundred years ago, doctors thought that having a hymen would give women diseases, such as so-called ‘womb-fury’. They thought women would get hysteric if they had a hymen. They also thought that if untreated, these diseases could kill you. The cure for womb fury was marriage and hence sex, because sex would tear the hymen and the woman would be healed.

  5. Virginity – a risk to women?

    Many people who believe in virginity to be a virtue say that virginity protects women and girls. But unfortunately, putting such a high value on virginity puts girls and women at risk of violence, abuse, and assault by those who think a woman’s worth is connected to her sexual behavior. In many conservative parts of the world, for example, raping a girl to lower her dowry or to punish her family is rather common.

    Also, in order to ‘protect’ women and girls from having sex, methods like female genital cutting are used, putting them at high risk of life-long health issues and even death.

     

    How important do you think virginity is for a woman? And for a man? Leave a comment below or on Facebook

Tell us what you think

Recent Comments (111)

  1. Virginity are very important
    Virginity are very important because it allowed you to feel like the woman you are

    1. Hi Jayann,

      Hi Jayann,
      that’s interesting- can you explain this some more? Does this mean that a only once you have lost your virginity will you feel like a woman?

  2. virginity is more important
    virginity is more important in that it protects women/girlz from bad behaviour n it is good to marry a woman who is virgin coz if she isn’t virgin, you get the clear picture of what kind of a woman u r dealing with unless the case of rape

    1. Hi Husayn,

      Hi Husayn,
      does this mean that if a woman isn’t a virgin when she is getting married, she has had bad behavior? And how about men, should they be virgins when getting married?

    2. igree wth u cos $me wenmy…
      igree wth u cos $me wenmy.body needs sex $thnk of loosg it i comfart myhrt 2be paseint

      1. Thank you for your…
        Thank you for your contribution Teo.

      1. Thank you, Tope for engaging…

        Thank you, Tope for engaging with us!

  3. mm hutaka vi2 zimebreaki c
    mm hutaka vi2 zimebreaki c mambo na mavargins cz ni wasubufu xna juu I had one n ni balaa tupu naqwambia

  4. if woman or a girl who ix nt
    if woman or a girl who ix nt virgin den met a man or a boy ix virgin who among thoxe who fil pain

    1. Hi Jonz,

      Hi Jonz,
      sex isn’t necessarily painful at the first time, but generally, it is more painful for the woman the first time.

  5. does that mean virgens stil
    does that mean virgens stil think like babies?

    1. Hey Ben,

      Hey Ben,
      what makes you think virgins think like babies?

  6. does that mean virgens stil
    does that mean virgens stil think like babies?

  7. it is part of pride when one
    it is part of pride when one is a virgin and every man struggle to find a virgin for marriage although its difficult to get a virgin nowdays

    1. Hi Steven,

      Hi Steven,
      do you want to marry a virgin? And how about men? Should they also be virgins when getting married?

  8. what if i did have sex with
    what if i did have sex with a boy but when we were having sex nothing really happen like the was no blood?what does that tell me?that im clean or not

    1. Hi Lu,

      Hi Lu,
      it’s a myth that women bleed the first time they have sex. Some do, others don’t. But, once you have had intercourse, you aren’t a virgin anymore.

  9. Wooh,may you tell us more abt
    Wooh,may you tell us more abt virginity

    1. Hi Anastazia,

      Hi Anastazia,
      we have plenty of information on virginity on our website- just look around a bit!

  10. I THINK YOU MUST BE HONEST
    I THINK YOU MUST BE HONEST COME CLEAN AND LET THE PERSON WHO HAS INTEREST MAKE THEIR DECISION YOUR ONE OF THE BEST GIFT YOU CAN GIVE YOUR MATE IS YOUR VIRGINITY FIRST TIME ALL FOR YOU BABY YOUR PLAY GROUND LOLLLLL NO BAD MEMORIES FROM THE PASS ALSO WHEN SOME PERSONS KNOW YOU ARE A VIRGIN THEY CALL THEM SELF CHRISTIAN BUT RUNS SLACK CONVERSATION TRY TO CHIP AWAY AT YOU BUT THERE IS POWER IN THE NAME OF JESUS TO BRAKE EVERY CHAIN

    1. Hi Cecile,

      Hi Cecile,
      is this true for both genders, or is it more important for women to be virgins?

  11. u cant find virgins nowadays
    u cant find virgins nowadays

    1. Hi Kaludi,

      Hi Kaludi,
      why do you think this is? And, do you think virginity is important?

  12. is there anything lke 2rd
    is there anything lke 2rd verginity.

    1. Hi Sarah,

      Hi Sarah,
      check fact # 3- you can get your hymen back, for a lot of money and with a surgery.

  13. Virginity……av seen/meet
    Virginity……av seen/meet one either,neither idon believe virginity 2our current generation

    1. Hi Jose,

      Hi Jose,
      and do you think it’s a good thing or a bad thing?

  14. I am 25 and never had sex 95%
    I am 25 and never had sex 95% by choice and 5% by fate and actually its not easy must say. All I can say to those women is respect to them

    1. Hi Edwin,

      Hi Edwin,
      it’s good that it is by choice- can we ask why you have made this choice? We are curious to hear that!

  15. What about Men/Boy who’re
    What about Men/Boy who’re vagin, what is their experence when having sex for the first time?

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      usually, because they are very excited, it’s a pretty short experience. Do you have any other questions, or are you interested in a specific aspect?

  16. am a virgin but is it true
    am a virgin but is it true that when you have sex with a lady virgin or not you will always want more

    1. Hi Duvneil,

      Hi Duvneil,
      are you talking about sex in general or sex with virgins?

  17. When having sex for the first
    When having sex for the first time and from girl comes out a smelly liquid when you have just had the first shot,does that still mean the girl isn’t a virgin.?an experience i had and i dumped her.

    1. Hi Joshua,

      Hi Joshua,
      no, that has nothing to do with virginity. In fact, it sounds like she ejaculated, which is a sign of her having a very arousing time/
      Question though, why would you dump someone if you didn’t think she was a virgin?

  18. is there anything lke 2rd
    is there anything lke 2rd virginity.

    2

    1. Hi Sarah,

      Hi Sarah,
      check fact number 3 in this article for information on ‘regaining’ your hymen again. Other than that, no, even if you haven’t had sex for years, it doesn’t mean you are a virgin again.

  19. In my culture virgins are
    In my culture virgins are highly respected though many dnt feel secure discusin it.It is believed dat a virgins urine can destroy any kind of charm no matter hw powerful nd devilish d charm might be.

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      we like that- powerful virgins! Interesting, thanks for sharing this fact!

  20. Av got sex 4 many tym wid
    Av got sex 4 many tym wid many galz bt av never experience anytng about viginity,wz viginity exist?

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      virginity means that someone hasn’t had sex before. So you can only lose your virginity once. So it’s possible that you haven’t slept with any virgins before. Does this make sense?

  21. its important 2 b a virgin
    its important 2 b a virgin til u r married coz men wil respect u n also after rem after breaking ua virginity u wil b feelin 2 do it more n more. i regret y i broke myn.

    1. Hi Christine,

      Hi Christine,
      why do you think it’s especially important for women to be virgins? Does the same concept apply for men, or should it?

  22. its important 2 b a virgin
    its important 2 b a virgin til u r married coz men wil respect u n also after rem after breaking ua virginity u wil b feelin 2 do it more n more. i regret y i broke myn.

    1. Thanks for sharing that with
      Thanks for sharing that with us Christine.

  23. for me wen a woman is a
    for me wen a woman is a virgin n she get married it make e man 2 love her more,, by having strong trust 4 her

    1. Hi Alex,

      Hi Alex,
      is virginity only important for women or should it also apply to men?

  24. I believ that a woman must
    I believ that a woman must bleed for the first time having sex ….is that rite

    1. Hi Allan,

      Hi Allan,
      no, it’s a myth. Not every woman bleeds the first time they have sex. Not bleeding does not mean that the woman is not a virgin.

  25. I believ that a woman must
    I believ that a woman must bleed for the first time having sex ….is that rite

  26. Hw can u no that sme1 is 100%
    Hw can u no that sme1 is 100% virgin

    1. Hi Mourice,

      Hi Mourice,
      it’s super easy: ask the person if he or she is a virgin, and believe the answer. This is the ONLY way to reliably find out if someone has had sex before, because even experienced doctors will not be able to tell for sure.

  27. for boys or men who have
    for boys or men who have first sex do they have effects on their pennis as the case of girl breeding @

    1. Hi Maxwell,

      Hi Maxwell,
      let’s get the first myth out of the way straight away- not all women bleed the first time they have sex! Big, big myth!
      And no, other than first time sex not lasting very long for men because it’s so exciting, there are no other effects. No bleeding, sometimes there is a bit of discomfort though.

  28. I think there r SM reimenants
    I think there r SM reimenants virgins n hope they must b rightess

    1. Hi Simon,

      Hi Simon,
      sorry, we are not quite sure we understand what you mean- could you explain again?

  29. i think u r ryt.men juz nid
    i think u r ryt.men juz nid to believe thd answer given tht one is a virgin.nt necesarily can 1 luz virginity thru sex…howeva jz asking,whats the importance of virginity?

    1. Hi Dolphine,

      Hi Dolphine,
      we are glad you agree with us! Regarding the importance of virginity, it really depends on which culture you live in. The cultures that believe virginity is important, they say that virginity means that a woman is pure and worth more, than if she has been ‘used’. Check out our section on virginity: http://lovematters.co.ke/resource/virginity

  30. I never had vaginal sex all
    I never had vaginal sex all my life but @ one point in time I was sucked on my genitals am I stil a virgin?

    1. Hi Kay,

      Hi Kay,
      well, it really depends on your own definition. Technically, if you never had vaginal sex, you are still a virgin. But some people might say that having had oral sex also doesn’t make you a virgin. So it all depends on you- it only vaginal sex is ‘real’ sex, then yes, you are still a virgin. And the big majority of people will say that.

  31. I havr a boyfriend who claims
    I havr a boyfriend who claims to be a virgin,hw wil i knw if he is or not?tnx

    1. By asking him and believing
      By asking him and believing his answer.
      That is the only way to see if someone (both men and women) is a virgin.

  32. Iam 21years and still avirgin
    Iam 21years and still avirgin, iwud like to kno whether it’s true that if u stay virgin for along time u a most likely to get womb fury…….of recent have fallen sick several times but each time atleast a doctor mentions hysteria.

    1. Tinah,

      Tinah,
      so sorry to hear that you had to deal with a doctor who still believes in this myth!
      Everything is okay, don’t worry about your virginity. Even if someone doesn’t have sex all their lives, it won’t have any negative effects.

  33. do viigin ladies still exist
    do viigin ladies still exist

    1. Yes they still do Steve.
      Yes they still do Steve.

  34. Interesting facts. Just
    Interesting facts. Just wondering why there seems to be double standards for women when it comes to virginity. I have read words like honor and ‘am I clean’, honestly people need to evolve from this type of thinking

    1. I agree with you KK. There
      I agree with you KK. There should not be double standard. Thanks for your input.

  35. To me virginity is the hymen
    To me virginity is the hymen n peeps valuing it soo much doesn’t really make sense especially in the current world. Men crave to marry virgins while they are very ones taking advantage of them. Been a virgin to me is nuh big deal. Most are the people hidden in masks. Some one denying you love jus coz u aint a virgin should be considered naive n intimidative… Virgin or not, both got dignity

    1. Very well said Cherrie.
      Very well said Cherrie. Thanks for your input.

  36. Can a guy that masturbates
    Can a guy that masturbates still be virgin and the masturbation can only last for just a minute before he release,is their any disfunction.

    1. Hi Erickson, masturbation
      Hi Erickson, masturbation does not break ones virginity, virginity is considered broken when one has sex. When masturbating the goal is normally to ejaculate and therefore one is able to reach climax easily since they know what they want. Read more about masturbation here https://lovematters.co.ke/news/masturbation-myths-busted

  37. I have a girlfriend and she
    I have a girlfriend and she claims a virgin ..but the way she does things like kissing and more shows that she is not…how can i know??

    1. Hi Johnny, someone being a
      Hi Johnny, someone being a good kisser does not mean they are not virgins. there is no way of physically knowing if she’s a virgin, you will just have to trust her word for it. You could read about other myth associated with virginity here https://lovematters.co.ke/news/virginity-myths-busted

    1. Sorry but we can’t help you
      Sorry but we can’t help you with that.

  38. I am not a virgin but my gf
    I am not a virgin but my gf is. She told me so until i believed her. She is a strong christian and i trust her alot. She told me that she is keeping it for me. Her fear is that i will hurt her when breaking her virgunity when we get married. Honestly, for ladies , virginity is the best gift to your future hubby. It sounds nice and sweet !!

  39. iz it true that when a boy
    iz it true that when a boy stays for a long time without having sex,he may get a disease

    1. Hi Joh, there is no disease
      Hi Joh, there is no disease associated with not having sex that is just a myth. Staying without sex is not harmful to anyone.

    1. You are welcome Terry. Spread
      You are welcome Terry. Spread the word to your friends.

  40. she keeps telling me that Im
    she keeps telling me that Im the first & only one to penetrate .
    A 25yr old [how do I get convinced ?

    1. Hi Mock,

      Hi Mock,
      You just have to take her word for it.

  41. There was a frnd of mine dat
    There was a frnd of mine dat her hubby travelled for abt 3years n wen he came bck he met wit his wife(my frnd) she told me she bled.Pls wat causes DAT?

    1. Hi Temmy, where did the
      Hi Temmy, where did the bleeding come from?

  42. Something keeps bothering me.
    Something keeps bothering me….. Is it really importantant to be a virgin till marriage?… Some say yes.its a virtue and yet… After marriage dat same person dat always honour u forgets d fact dat he dis virgined u… It baffles me a lot.. Some men even hate virgins y some dont… I also want to kno why it is so..

    1. Hi Teddy,

      Hi Teddy,

      Everyone makes a decision about their virginity depending on what you feel is right for you. Do not make decisions based on what other people think is right for you or for them. Take time to think about what you want for yourself.

  43. virginity is important coz…
    virginity is important coz it keeps women & girls from some diseases also frm having pregnant & it also feels good to a man who’s married to a virgin girl.

    1. Hi Puta, we appreciate your…

      Hi Puta, we appreciate your contribution.

  44. I think being a virgin is…
    I think being a virgin is good bcs it keeps your body systems more matured

    1. Thank you for your…

      Thank you for your contribution Kayb. Choosing to not have sex can protect a person from the risk of unplanned pregnancies and Sexually Transmitted infections.

  45. Being a virgin is good bcs…
    Being a virgin is good bcs it keeps yo body system good & mature

    1. Thank you Kaybee for your…

      Thank you Kaybee for your thoughts. Being a virgin helps to protect one from the risk of getting infected with a Sexually Transmitted Infections and unplanned pregnancies. 

  46. Virginity in women or girls…
    Virginity in women or girls are more valued in our culture because it’s a special gift that you can offer to your husband.

    1. Hi Okoye, this is true for…

      Hi Okoye, this is true for some cultures and even religions. However, one can still have a great marriage even if they were not a virgin when they got married. 

  47. thanks alot for this great…
    thanks alot for this great teaching i really appreciate thanks

    1. Hey Favour, you are very…

      Hey Favour, you are very welcome. We are glad that you found this useful. 

  48. I am still a virgin.buh my…
    I am still a virgin.buh my bf doesn’t believe me and he is asking dat he wants to confirm if I am really a virgin.

    1. Dear Emerald, did he tell…

      Dear Emerald, did he tell you how he intends to prove that you are a virgin? There is no way to prove you are a virgin and there is no way for him to confirm your virginity. Even experienced doctors cannot determine if a girl is a virgin. He will just have to take your word for it. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/virginity/is-my-partner-a-virgin

  49. According to the word of God…
    According to the word of God it has reward if u are a virgin till your wedding night

  50. Thank you for your comment…

    Thank you for your comment. Whereas we respect all religions and views, we have to be practical and factual as well.

  51. some of us feels liked…
    some of us feels liked unwanted creatures coz of may be not being virgin….a word pliz to those who are not virgin

  52. Dear Melly Chebet, if no one…

    Dear Melly Chebet, if no one had told you this before, please allow us to say that you (and every other ‘unwanted creature’ out there) are a unique, magnificent and majestic soul who’s existence was designed to be true to yourself and everything that you love. Never ever for one second allow yourself to let the words of others make you believe that you are an ‘uwanted creature’ for not being a virgin. Keep living your life unapologetically for your mind, body and soul are yours to possess as the very compnents of life that they are… yours!… a beautiful, magnificent and unique soul 🙂

  53. My girlfriend told me that…
    My girlfriend told me that she is a virgin, we are into relationship now but I haven’t verify properly if she is telling me the truth, how will I know that she is a virgin?

  54. It is not so hard is needs…
    It is not so hard is needs gentleness Fromm men to women

  55. We are glad you feel this…

    We are glad you feel this way Kenneth, thank you so much for sharing, and have a wonderful week ahead! Stay safe!

  56. Keep your self, be chaste,…
    Keep your self, be chaste, till your wedding night it will make your husband proud of you

    1. Hi there, 

      Thank you for…

      Hi there, 

      Thank you for your contribution. Abstinence is a choice and if you can why not? Yet, you should do it for yourself and not for your future husband/wife. It is not healthy to expect that someone else will appreciate it, what if they don’t? Do it for yourself if you firmly believe in abstinence. 

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