Are safe days safe?
My girlfriend hates condoms and all methods of birth control. We usually have sex during her safe days because we don’t want a pregnancy at this moment.
But I am particularly concerned because I’m not looking forward to becoming a father soon. Please advice, Valentine!
Do something now
Congratulations young man, I promise you that you will be a father within the next 12 months! Either you start picking out baby names, or you start picking out condoms.
Your girlfriend’s behaviour tells me that she probably wouldn’t mind becoming a mother. It’s possible that she hates condoms and does not want to take hormonal pills to prevent pregnancy – and that’s fine but it still leaves various other methods.
An IUD, for example. This is a copper coil that a doctor inserts in her uterus that would prevent pregnancy. It costs about Kshs 7000 but lasts up to 10 years and is 99 per cent effective.
Sorry, but the idea that your girlfriend hates all methods of birth control is preposterous unless she intends to get pregnant.
Safe days are not a great way to prevent pregnancies. Too many things can go wrong. Please stay away from that.
Baby or birth control?
If you continue as you have been, you will have a baby. And according to our laws, you will have to provide for this child – whether you had intended to reproduce or not.
I suggest that you put your foot down as a man who is not ready to be a parent and insist on condom use. Tell your girlfriend that you will use condoms unless, and until, she gets another type of reliable birth control from her doctor.
Please go with her as she does not sound like she would go on her own.
If this conversation continues to meander and not reach a suitable conclusion for you, you might have to dump this girl and find someone else with similar values when it comes to sexual responsibility.
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