Valentine, on-call
Alphonce Omondi

Are safe days safe?

My girlfriend hates condoms and all methods of birth control. We usually have sex during her safe days because we don’t want a pregnancy at this moment.

But I am particularly concerned because I’m not looking forward to becoming a father soon. Please advice, Valentine!

Do something now

Congratulations young man, I promise you that you will be a father within the next 12 months! Either you start picking out baby names, or you start picking out condoms

Your girlfriend’s behaviour tells me that she probably wouldn’t mind becoming a mother. It’s possible that she hates condoms and does not want to take hormonal pills to prevent pregnancy – and that’s fine but it still leaves various other methods.


An IUD, for example. This is a copper coil that a doctor inserts in her uterus that would prevent pregnancy. It costs about Kshs 7000 but lasts up to 10 years and is 99 per cent effective.

Sorry, but the idea that your girlfriend hates all methods of birth control is preposterous unless she intends to get pregnant.

Safe days are not a great way to prevent pregnancies. Too many things can go wrong. Please stay away from that.

Baby or birth control?

If you continue as you have been, you will have a baby. And according to our laws, you will have to provide for this child – whether you had intended to reproduce or not.

I suggest that you put your foot down as a man who is not ready to be a parent and insist on condom use. Tell your girlfriend that you will use condoms unless, and until, she gets another type of reliable birth control from her doctor.

Please go with her as she does not sound like she would go on her own.

If this conversation continues to meander and not reach a suitable conclusion for you, you might have to dump this girl and find someone else with similar values when it comes to sexual responsibility.

Have you had to convince a partner to use the proper birth control? Ask our discussion board moderators for help.

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Recent Comments (18)

  1. The IUD cost at FHOK is 4800
    The IUD cost at FHOK is 4800 or she can get it at Marie stopes kenya for a cost of one thousand! or prepare to be a dad or u will be seeking abortion services soon!

    1. Thanks for this good advice!
      Thanks for this good advice!

  2. waaaoooo dhat gret keep it up
    waaaoooo dhat gret keep it up jst dhat am still vngle

  3. Had one like that, I gave
    Had one like that, I gave her an ultimatum. Safe sex or no sex at all. She opted for the latter.

    1. Good you gave her an
      Good you gave her an ultimatum!

  4. some of the birth control
    some of the birth control methods are reliable the ealier the betr

  5. well maybe she follows the
    well maybe she follows the myths of contraceptives,but if she’s mature enough,then she also stupid

    1. Thanks for your input, Maggie
      Thanks for your input, Maggie!

  6. waaaah! kip it up bt soon u
    waaaah! kip it up bt soon u wil b a dad n knw dat ababy is blessing rm God..

  7. That’s a good advice…..
    That’s a good advice…..

  8. Yap this girl doesn’t mind…
    Yap this girl doesn’t mind becoming pregnant. Jipange sasa

    1. Hey Joan, thank you for your…

      Hey Joan, thank you for your contribution. 

  9. are there those “safe days”…
    are there those “safe days” according to science when the egg can’t get fertilized.Something like that.

    1. Hello Trouble, thank you for…

      Hello Trouble, thank you for bringing this up. Counting safe days is based on the stages a woman passes through during her cycle. Ideally there are days when her fertility is low and some when it is optimum. This method is very unreliable because not all women are the same and whereas the general format is the same it could vary from woman to woman. This variance means that a woman could fall pregnant at any stage of her cycle depending on her body.

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