Everybody is different
Everyone in the entire world, whether male or female, is literally unique – even identical twins! People differ in terms of their shape, size, and weight because of their different genes, their different upbringing, and so on. Their fitness, muscle tone, and strength differ as a result of their lifestyle and history. As does their education, knowledge, self-awareness, empathy, and experience of life.
So vaginas simply can’t be all the same, even just in terms of their physical shape and size. Just as men’s penises are all different.
There will also be differences in muscle tone and so on, and this will affect how sex feels to both of the lovers.
Brains, penises, and vaginas
But that’s not all that affects how making love feels. Because the most important sex organ men and women possess aren’t the bits between their legs. It’s the stuff between their ears.
So having fun in bed is more about how you think about lovemaking than the shape and size of your bits.
Start by putting the rest of your life on hold while you make love, so you can be 100 per cent in the moment.
And learn to love your body! Forget too small, too big, too fat, or anything else you can think of. You can’t have great sex if you worry about your body.
So get to like every bit of yourself – and every bit of your lover. Think about what makes your body feel good; and make sure your partner knows, too.
Sex is about connection and fun
Making love also begins long before you get into the bedroom. In fact, really good sex starts with being connected. Even doing the dishes together helps you tune in to one another so that by bedtime you’re already close.
Do something new as often as you can because that creates arousal. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy: go for a walk or swim together, or just send your partner the raunchiest SMS ever!
And be adventurous. It’s all too easy to take the bedroom too seriously. So rethink things and concentrate on having fun. Share your fantasies with your partner and figure out how to carry them out. Take risks and be creative – with your sofa, shower, balcony... Everything goes in the dark, and if something doesn’t work out, that’s okay. Just laugh about it.
Above all, enjoying making love is about having the right attitude. So love your body, love your partner, and have fun!
What makes sex sweet for you? Tell us below or on Facebook: Love Matters Africa and Love Matters Naija.