We're pregnant

We’re pregnant

So your girlfriend tells you she’s pregnant – or might be. What do you do? Do you run? Do you stay? Are you prepared?

So here you are…

There are very few things that leave a guy speechless and waiting for the ground to swallow him whole. Anything to do with your car or geeky collection of things no one else understands, is high up on this list. But pregnancy will have any guy waking up in a cold sweat at night. Your significant other doesn’t even have to be sure: a delayed period will fray the nerves as much as a missed one.

Once those words leave her mouth, the rest of the world slows down. You stare at her blankly as she tells you how scared she is (or how excited she is – it happens…). Meanwhile, your mind is in overdrive, asking you questions you hadn’t been planning to answer for at least another five or ten years. Now you really start to consider whether you want to have a child with the woman you call your girlfriend.

Thinking with your…

This situation is always a lot pricklier if it resulted from no-strings-attached sex with a stranger. You met at a party, both got tipsy, then cosy and familiar… Then you let your loins do what your brain should’ve been doing: controlling your body. Now here you are: a woman you thought you would never see again has dropped an atom bomb on your life. Your body wrote a cheque your life can’t cash.

Granted, it could just be a case of entrapment. This woman is trying to tie you up by guilting you into committing to her because of the baby. Heck, it could even be your girlfriend is trying to tie you down for whatever reason. You still have a right to get a pregnancy and paternity test, especially if you don’t know her that well. It’s possible that the baby is not yours.

Time to man up

The King of Pop once sung, ‘If you can’t feed the baby, then don’t have the baby’. If you can’t even take care of yourself, maybe taking care of someone else isn’t the best idea. Sure, you knew about protection and contraceptives. And yes, you knew you can’t take care of a baby and the mother right now. But did that stop you from having sex without a condom? No. You don’t eat a banana with the peel, right? (If you just agreed with this last statement, slap yourself. Then find your strongest friend and have them slap you, you dunce.)

If it was just a scare, good for you. Let that fear you felt motivate you to keep your lady and yourself child-free until you’re both ready. However, if it wasn’t a scare but a fact, this is not the time to run, or to pressure the lady into having an abortion. It’s not just about you; it’s primarily about her. All this is happening inside her body, so she has the final say. You were there when the going was good, so now is not the time to jump ship. Be a man, do the right thing.

Would you run and hide or would you step up? Leave a comment below or join the discussion on Facebook.

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Recent Comments (13)

  1. i was once in this situation
    i was once in this situation i was soo happy buh i had to terminate it coz we couldnt raise the child n started using three months contraceptive

    1. So sorry to hear that Melany.
      So sorry to hear that Melany. Hope you are okay!

    1. Hi Arthur,

      Hi Arthur,
      thanks for your comment!

  2. I hid it frm ma man aftr I
    I hid it frm ma man aftr I knw he wsnt ready fr de bby,being a medic he knew it,as ma minds ws to terminate,he ran way,itried three times working on it out but later on ma lyf was olmst gone.it costed mi later treating ma self bck to normal frm own caused complications.thnk God am ok as am waiting for ma lovely sweet bby as this ma due week.

    1. Daso,

      thank you so much for sharing your story with us. It must have been an extremely difficult time for you, but we are glad you are excited for your baby now. All the best with motherhood!

  3. we wud jst part with the lady
    we wud jst part with the lady if am nt prepared

    1. Hi Samwel,

      Hi Samwel,
      and what would you think about your responsibilities as a father? We are curious to hear about that!

    2. Hi Samwel,

      Hi Samwel,
      and what would you think about your responsibilities as a father? We are curious to hear about that!

  4. My bf got the two of us
    My bf got the two of us pregnant..he at 1st agreed to take care of our baby bt wen he learnt the other gal is pregnant he became a hot iron. He is now a confused fool who says anythng just 2 get rid of u..

    1. Hi Triza,

      Hi Triza,
      sorry to hear you had to go through something like this! We hope you are over him and able to move on! All the best!

  5. its rily sweet to hear the
    its rily sweet to hear the news that ur going to hv a child, u feel the joy befor u even hold him or her in ur hands but it rily hurts wen ur guy claims dat his not ready to have one and he calls for un abortion. It rilly hurts more than death its self.

  6. I hv miss periods for a…
    I hv miss periods for a month i told my bf about dat he told me to go for medical check up we went they said iam not pregnant after i came home i stated vomiting mum told me dat iam pregnant,i told my bf again he refused dat he is not de one who is responsible iam now confused i don’t know wat to do mum is saying she doesn’t see me at he compound my bf also has refus,i had no any other bf pliz help me

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