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Am I still a virgin if I’ve only had anal sex?

By Love Matters Kenya on

Before you start squeezing your face, think back to when you weren’t ready (or willing) to give up the cookie yet. Remember the little manipulations you had to do?

The pushing away of hands, squeezing your thighs shut while hormones raged and the frustrated boy dared you to ‘just do it’?

Win-win?

So, if you’re wondering why someone would allow ‘back door access‘ just to hold on to their
virginity, think back to those days of frustration.

Sex is seen as something a girl ‘gives’ to a boy, and even if she went willingly, the act of losing her virginity is seen as her being taken advantage of. It’s not a mystery, since girls are expected to be pure until the wedding night, and virginity is called a ‘gift’.

No matter how we try not to think about it, girls are sexual creatures, too. They feel desire and lust, and they experiment with sex in different forms. That means that they are susceptible to forms of brainwashing by horny young boys and their own grossly uninformed peers.

Preserving virginity

The answer is this: yes, young girls (and even women) should know better are having anal sex. Not because they want to, but just to ‘hold on to the right man’ and their virginity.

Anal sex is seen as taboo and very exotic, but when you think of it through the eyes of a young, vulnerable girl, it seems like the lesser of two evils.

She still has an intact hymen and no fear of pregnancy, and the man gets the sex he’s yearned for. Win-win!

Know what you are getting yourself into

We’re not saying that anal sex is bad; it’s entirely a matter of taste. Anal sex should be shared between two consenting adults who understand the implications, and not by coercion. There are some dangers and risks that come with anal sex too, especially when it is done without a condom. Just because you cannot get pregnant does not mean that all risk is averted.

In fact, unprotected anal sex still carries the risk of several STDs, including HIV. Just because it’s not vaginal sex does not mean that it’s not dangerous without a condom!

Be smart

The construct of virginity has been used to keep young girls repressed sexually, and causes an unhealthy attitude toward sex. If you choose to remain a virgin until you get married, that’s great! But make sure you’re doing it for yourself, and know that anal sex is still sex. It can be risky, and those risks may not be worth the price you have put on your hymen.

Be wise, be smart, and protect yourself.

Do you have questions about virginity or anal sex? Head to our comments section and ask our moderators anything!