Illustration of sex- and relationship-expert Chris Hart
E. del Rosso

Help, all the sperm comes out!

Please help us. My man seems to have a problem. Every time we make love, all his sperm keeps coming out during and after sex. Isn’t that dangerous?

Sex is messy

You know, everything about sex is a lot messier than you might expect! And that’s especially true of all the secretions involved in making love.

As you prepare for sex, you produce quite large quantities of lubricating mucus. So does your man. You might not be aware of this mucus building up in your vagina, but even before your man’s penis becomes fully erect, you might notice his ‘pre-cum.’

Pre-cum, mucus, and sperm

Some men produce only a little, others quite a lot, but it always contains a few sperm cells. Which is why couples are advised to use contraception from the moment they start to make love.

So as you prepare to make love, and until your man ejaculates, most of the fluid you see is mucus. Both yours and his. There can be a lot of it, and it can be hard to tell the difference between it and semen.

When your man comes, his prostate adds the fluid that carries his sperm into your vagina. That’s quite a complex fluid – as is your mucus – and both have lots of jobs to do once in your vagina. For example, his semen stays around your cervix for a few minutes after he comes, while his sperm starts to swim into your cervical mucus and on into your womb.

But that only lasts for a short while. After which his semen becomes liquid again, and you start to push it away from your cervix and down your vagina, with tiny unconscious and undetectable muscular contractions that you’re completely unaware of.


Sometimes that happens very quickly, almost before you’ve finished making love. Usually, it happens within half an hour. At other times, it can take an hour or two. But once the semen reaches the entrance to your vagina, you’ll be very aware of it. And even a slight movement will be sufficient to get it out of your vagina.

This ‘flowback’ will contain around half of your man’s sperm – more or less depending on where you are in your monthly cycle.

The flowback isn’t just a waste or an accident. It’s your body deciding how many sperm it wants! And rejecting the ones that didn’t swim fast enough in the minutes while they were close to your cervix.

So don’t worry about your man’s sperm being lost like that; his body constantly produces new sperm. It’s all completely normal. If a trifle yucky!

Do you have questions about making love? Our discussion board moderators have all the answers you are looking for!

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Recent Comments (4)

  1. If I had sex on Sunday night…
    If I had sex on Sunday night and I take P2 today will I become pregnant?

    1. Hey there, Emergency…

      Hey there, Emergency contraceptive pills can help prevent pregnancy when taken within the first 72 hours after having unprotected sex. The pill is more effective when taken as soon as possible after having unprotected sex, the longer one waits the less effective the pill becomes. If it has not be longer than 72 hours since you had sex, taking the pill may help reduce the chance of getting pregnant. Have a look at the following article for more information;-

  2. I have been trying to get my…
    I have been trying to get my wife pregnant for many months now but I failed. I also masturbate a lot could this be the problem

    1. Hello Felix, Masturbation…

      Hello Felix, Masturbation does not make one infertile, as long as a man has healthy sexual organs, he keeps producing sperm, whether or not he masturbates. In fact, for guys who are trying to get their partner pregnant, it’s actually good to keep the semen flowing! Older sperm that has been hanging around in there for a few days are less likely to be in tip-top condition. Having said that, if you have been trying to get pregnant for longer than 12 months it is important that you consult a Gynecologist who will be able to further advice.  Heck out the following articles for additional information;-



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