Illustration of sex- and relationship-expert Chris Hart
E. del Rosso

Help, all the sperm comes out!

Please help us. My man seems to have a problem. Every time we make love, all his sperm keeps coming out during and after sex. Isn't that dangerous?

Sex is messy

You know, everything about sex is a lot messier than you might expect! And that’s especially true of all the secretions involved in making love.
As you prepare for sex, you produce quite large quantities of lubricating mucus. So does your man. You might not be aware of this mucus building up in your vagina, but even before your man’s penis becomes fully erect, you might notice his ‘pre-cum.’

Pre-cum, mucus, and sperm

Some men produce only a little, others quite a lot, but it always contains a few sperm cells. Which is why couples are advised to use contraception from the moment they start to make love.
So as you prepare to make love, and until your man ejaculates, most of the fluid you see is mucus. Both yours and his. There can be a lot of it, and it can be hard to tell the difference between it and semen.
When your man comes, his prostate adds the fluid that carries his sperm into your vagina. That’s quite a complex fluid – as is your mucus – and both have lots of jobs to do once in your vagina. For example, his semen stays around your cervix for a few minutes after he comes, while his sperm starts to swim into your cervical mucus and on into your womb.
But that only lasts for a short while. After which his semen becomes liquid again, and you start to push it away from your cervix and down your vagina, with tiny unconscious and undetectable muscular contractions that you’re completely unaware of.

Flowback

Sometimes that happens very quickly, almost before you’ve finished making love. Usually, it happens within half an hour. At other times, it can take an hour or two. But once the semen reaches the entrance to your vagina, you’ll be very aware of it. And even a slight movement will be sufficient to get it out of your vagina.
This ‘flowback’ will contain around half of your man’s sperm – more or less depending on where you are in your monthly cycle.
The flowback isn’t just a waste or an accident. It’s your body deciding how many sperm it wants! And rejecting the ones that didn’t swim fast enough in the minutes while they were close to your cervix.

So don’t worry about your man’s sperm being lost like that; his body constantly produces new sperm. It’s all completely normal. If a trifle yucky!


Do you have questions about making love? Our discussion board moderators have all the answers you are looking for!

Comments
Add new comment

Comment

  • Allowed HTML tags: <a href hreflang>