Valentine, on-call
Alphonce Omondi

Girlfriend screams with pain during sex

I’ve tried breaking my girlfriend’s virginity and succeeded. Now every time I try penetrating her she screams in pain. How do I go about it?

Could it be because I have a big penis? Please help!

Wow! Having sex with a woman who is screaming in pain cannot be fun; you must feel like a monster each time. No wonder you wrote in.

Take a break

I suggest you give the intercourse part of lovemaking a rest until you learn how to give your girlfriend an orgasm with other means. Tell her this, it will make her relax because if you yourself are already uncomfortable, she is dreading your sexual attention. Trust me.

Focus on other areas

You could start with a kissing and caressing session with your clothes on and then focus on these much ignored erogenous zones:

  • Scalp:  Most people love a head massage, as it immediately puts us at ease. Gently touch your partner’s scalp, run your nails over it or massage more firmly – depending on what she likes.
  • Hands: Hands are personal and very sensitive, especially the fingertips. Give your woman a hand massage and watch her reaction, this is surprisingly erotic.
  • Feet: They respond best to firm touch. If you feel a little funny about feet, try washing them first before giving the massage
  • Stomach: Try a light touch to begin with, especially as you get lower and closer to the genitals. Try a firmer touch on the sides because we are all a little bit ticklish.

Now that your partner is comfortable, you could get naked and continue with your focus on her. Kiss and touch her more major erogenous zones until she has an orgasm.

Let her take the lead

Then ask her if she wants to try intercourse. I think your experience will be very different this time. Most women need about 25 minutes of foreplay before they are well aroused and lubricated. If necessary go out and buy some lubricant – wetter is always better.

Any more tips for our guy? Share your experiences by leaving a comment below or joining the discussion on Facebook where you can find us at Love Matters Naija and Kenya.

did you find this useful?

Tell us what you think

Recent Comments (18)

  1. Hi pliz help i have three
    Hi pliz help i have three kidz ,wen i got the 1st kid i had my glitories bt 2 n 3 third kid my clit reduced n become smal wat could be the problem.

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      sorry to hear that this is causing you trouble.
      Your body can change after childbirth, that’s quite normal. That the clitoris is also changing can happen. This is nothing you should worry about too much, but you could mention it to your doctor the next time you go for a check-up.
      Also, does this affect your sex life? The largest part of the clitoris is inside the vagina. Does the shrinking affect your ability to have orgasms?
      Let us know!

  2. hey I love this guy so much..
    hey I love this guy so much.. and he never communicates with me yet he claims to love me.. if I fail to call or text him then we both gonna be silent on each other..what do I do? coz I have even talked to him about it but he says he is busy with work or tired after work.. should I be patient with him about this.. or move on..

    1. Liz,

      try to have a conversation with him. Tell him what you feel when this happens, and propose some ways forward that you think will work for both of you.

  3. am in love with this guy we
    am in love with this guy we usually text about us and he says he loves me via text but he has never said it to me face face and he rarely calls just texting might he be seeing someone else,what should i do?

    1. Monique,

      have you ever shared these fears with him? Talk to him about it, and ask him why he is behaving the way he is.

  4. i love this guy so much n
    i love this guy so much n sometimes back last year he brought me a ring it was a surprise but he did nt say anytin wat does this mean?again we had a fight yesterday abt a guy who asked em for my no the my boyfriend asked me if he cud give the other guy…i felt arkward cz i expect em to protect me even if the other guy does not know we are dating…am so troubled i tried talkin it out but he went quiet on me pls advice wat i should do

    1. Peggy,

      you need to try to talk to him again. Relationships need to be based on trust and honesty, and you need to be able to be open with each other. Share all the things you shared with us with him and see what he has to say.

  5. she says she feels abdominal
    she says she feels abdominal pain for a week or so and sex.sometimes she feels like urinating but the she goes for it there is no urine that comes out, also during intercourse she is the one who does the pushing up and down, could this be a reason for the pain or it is about my positioning because sometimes she complains of not reaching the orgasm yet I do enough foreplay,plz help

    1. PK,

      abdominal pain for a week is certainly not a good sign, and it would be best for her to see a doctor about this.

  6. Am dating ths guy for almst a
    Am dating ths guy for almst a year now,i lov him but the problem is he doesnt satistfy me in bed,he has a very small dick compared to my ex boyfriend who we alwyz had great sex,what should i do am scared if we get married wil have problems

    1. Hello,I’ve seen your post,are
      Hello,I’ve seen your post,are you ready to be satisfied well? Contact me.on facebook Lenges Kiplangat

  7. av being dating a gal for 6
    av being dating a gal for 6 mnths n yet she ignores it,we met last wik and had a night shift,she found a txt on ma inbox from ma ex galfriend and she is silent 4 a month since then.av tried to convince her about ma ex but she dumps me.she also not replies ma txts,wat nxt plz help,sud i look forwad to another or else wait!!!!??!!

    1. Hi Platz,…
      Hi Platz,

      If she has already ended the relationship, perhaps you need to also move on. She probably thought you still have something going with your ex and this is why she choose to end things. You may also want to think about how you want to relate with your ex, so that this relationship doe not interfere with your moving on. We wish you well.

  8. When doing sex i feel to…
    When doing sex i feel to urinate is it normal

    1. Hi Fay,…
      Hi Fay,

      This is normal and is caused by the sensation of intercourse. You may want to pee before intercourse so that this does not interrupt intercourse.

  9. I have tried breaking my…
    I have tried breaking my girlfriend’s virginity bt all in vain!! Immediately wen she starts screaming,my erections jst suddenly falls down 2 a level tht i can’t penetrate!! I wonder wat the problem might be, given tht i always ensure tht i’ve really aroused her fully to an exent tht she has an orgasm… My penis is also slightly curved!! Plz help me

    1. Hi, Aside from getting…
      Hi, Aside from getting aroused your partner needs to be relaxed at the time of penetration. If she is not relaxed the the muscles are not relaxed making penetration difficult and painful. Sex even for the first time doesn’t have to be painful. The screaming seems to be a turn off for you this is why you loose your erection since no sex happens after this. Check out these articles;-

LoveMatters Africa

Blush-free facts and stories about love, sex, and relationships