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Is my partner losing interest in me?

How do I find out if someone is losing interest in me?

It can be quite hard. Which is why break-ups often come as a surprise to the one who’s being dumped. Even though their partner has probably been thinking about leaving for a while.


But there are always warning signs. Your partner probably doesn’t want to be intimate anymore. They’re less affectionate, won’t return your phone calls, make endless excuses why you can’t get together, talk about ‘me’ instead of ‘we,’ ignore intimate remarks, and won’t make plans for the future. They’re probably also slowly removing their stuff from your house.


Infidelity is another dead giveaway. Whether it’s discovered or not. Because, if your partner’s falling out of love, their world is suddenly full of good-looking people again.

They start to subconsciously advertise their availability. If your partner’s doing that, they’re probably also using their phone a lot, keeping it away from you, and are difficult to reach.

One moment affectionate, the next angry. Demanding more privacy and independence. Avoiding conflict, losing interest in sex, and frequently getting out of the house.

Everything you do annoys your partner. All their tolerance has gone, they seem to be deliberately looking for faults, and your arguments involve more and more criticism, put-downs, defensiveness, and stonewalling.

Lack of communication

When you’re happy together, the first person you want to tell your news is your partner. But if lately, you don’t seem to be hearing anything about your partner’s day-to-day life, that’s another sign that something isn’t quite right.

Feeling more comfortable on your own? Is it a relief to escape from your partner for a while? Choosing to do less and less together is another indication that you’re drifting apart.

Be blunt and ask

If it looks like the writing’s on the wall, it’s worth asking a few blunt questions.
Regardless of the answers, start remaking friendships, especially with people who don’t know your partner. Start going to your favourite places with them, so you stop associating those spots with being a couple.

And when the end comes, don’t beg or plead.

Just accept the end, keep your dignity, and just let them go. They may keep calling you, saying they still care, or whatever.

But that’s not really about their feelings for you. They’re just trying to avoid being seen as the bad guy. The reality is, they’re moving on.

At best you’ll be their backup plan. And life’s too short to cling on to someone who’ll ultimately disappoint you.

Do you know any other signs? Share them below or on Facebook.

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Recent Comments (14)

  1. Am currently a third year…
    Am currently a third year student in campus and my girlfriend stays at home with her parents.Of late she has lost interest in chatting claiming that her parent are too harsh to her and that she’s being overworked but this statement just comes when i send him an alarming SMS.Am not feeling comfortable with the silence and am almost quitting.what should i do,kindly advice me

  2. Hello Javanson, …
    Hello Javanson,

    Perhaps you need to have a face to face conversation with her, find out what is going. As partners reflect on your relationship and agree on how you would like to move on. All in all communication is a key element in making a relationship healthy and strong.

  3. I work in Nairobi while my…
    I work in Nairobi while my guy works in garissa and sometimes in somali as a detective,we rarely communicate when hes at work and if he comes he dont alert me!he dont like me charting with my male frnds and all the time accesses my phone,does he love me coz im confused?

    1. Hello Sharz, 


      Hello Sharz, 

      Each relationship defines what love is for each partner. Generally speaking, love is an intense feeling towards the other person. Love is caring and does not hurt. Love always want the best for the other person. Love is not jealous. Check out this article on love:

      Open and honest communication is key in any relationship, this strengths the bond between you two and creates a sense of trust; therefore if you feel that you are not happy with your relationship, shre your feelings and concerns with your partner. Also get to listen to your partner point of view, maybe its because of security issue and his work he doesn’t inform you. 

      Wish you the best. 

  4. My partner has lost interest…
    My partner has lost interest in the relationship ever since he moved to a new job in a new town. He goes for days without calling or texting he says the work is tight but I think is no longer interested. I think I should leave to enjoy his life.

    1. Hey Christie, making a long…

      Hey Christie, making a long distance relationship can be challenging and this why partners need to think about how the relationship will change before choosing to get into a long distance relationship. This, however, doesn’t mean that a along distance relationship cannot work. If the partners are committed to the relationship, they can make the relationship work. One of the key thing is frequent and regular communication. It is also important for partners to talk and also plan for the future together, which helps to plan for the future they want. Talk with your partner about what is going on in the relationship and together agree on how t proceed. Have a look at the following articles for more information;-



  5. Am à cashier been in love…
    Am à cashier been in love with this gentleman for four months now although it’s a long-distance relationship he he no longer want to chat with me anymore

    1. Hello Judith, long distance…
      Hello Judith, long distance relationships can sometimes be challenging to make work. There is no way to tell what could be going on if he no longer chats with you. It is however, important that you reach out and ask what this means and whether he is still interested in the relationship. If he is still interested, talk about what you have observed and agree on how to proceed together. If he is not interested, it will be time for you to also move on. We wish you well. Have a look at the following article;-

  6. Hey. Am a third year student…
    Hey. Am a third year student in campus. Lately i feel it’s like my bf is avoiding me. If i tell him we should meet he starts giving excuses and also if i text him he takes long before replying or maybe pretends to have not seen the texts at all. He never calls like before, and if i call he rarely answers my calls. The other day i asked him why is not giving me his attention and his respond broke me into a million pieces. Here’s what he said ” is it a must we keep on texting? Sometimes someone feel really down.” And we only chat at night not even during the day only at night.??

    1. Hey Joy, it seems that your…

      Hey Joy, it seems that your partner could be dealing with some issues. It is important that you talk with him to get to know what could be going on. Try find a good time, then talk about this preferably a face to face meeting. All relationships will have problems from time to time, but how partners choose to address the issues is what makes the difference. Check out the following article;-

  7. Hi,,currently av lost…
    Hi,,currently av lost interest in being intimate and my partner thinks am having an affair since he caught me once my love for him is also not like the first days,please help

    1. Hey Lady Vee, you may need…

      Hey Lady Vee, you may need to take sometime and think about what may have led to this. In a relationship, it is possible to sometimes begin to draw apart when you are not spending sufficient quality time together or when partners are not communicating openly and honestly. It is important that you have an honest and open conversation with your partner about what is going on, this may help in identifying the issues and coming up with solutions together. Check out the following article;-

  8. We broke in 2015 with my gf…
    We broke in 2015 with my gf BT reunited 2018 abt 2 months ago BT then his ex is pregnant for him…
    Should I loose for his baby or should he loose him s baby for me
    Am worried

    1. Hi Doreen, partners can…

      Hi Doreen, partners can choose to get back and go on to have a great relationship. It is important that you talk with you partner about the child that is on the way so you can both agree on how he will be involved as the father. The fact that there is a baby on the way doesn’t have to get in the way if you really want to be together. We wish you well.

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