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Forgetting your ex: women share what works best

It’s easy to slide into depression – or at least a level of sadness – when a relationship doesn’t work out. Here are fool proof ways to get over your ex fast.

‘Have friends other than your boyfriend’

I used to be the kind of girl whose life revolved around my boyfriend (you know that ‘All I need in this life of sin is me and my boyfriend’ kind of girl); so when we broke up, my life came crushing down because I had no other people to bond with.

I have realised it is very important to have friendships outside your relationship; that way you don’t get lonely and risk running back to a dead-end relationship. When I started putting an effort into making more friends and stopped being isolated, I realised I recovered a lot faster.
Amanda, 29

‘Focus on being a badass career woman’

A busy woman hardly has time to whine about a failed relationship. Sure, a break up hurts, but when you are busy building yourself in your career, breaking glass ceilings and making more money, you not only become more attractive, but you also gain confidence and forget about the past faster.

When I broke up with my ex, I decided to commit that year to getting a promotion. I worked harder, got noticed and got that pay raise. That has also helped me become picky about the kind of guys I want to date now – I don’t want a bum.
Jessica, 31

‘Think of all the reasons your ex is a loser’

I once dated this stingy guy. When we broke up, I kept reminding myself I’m lucky I got away. I might sound like a sadist for using this approach, but I promise it works.

So, regardless of who dumped who, you are not with your ex anymore. And you know what they say about a break up – it’s like a mirror: once it’s broken, it’s broken, and even if you glue it back together, the cracks will always be there and things will never be the same. So the best thing to do is remember his flaws and be happy you don’t have to deal with them anymore.
Julie, 23

‘Go out of town on a mini-holiday’

Sometimes you just need to get away from it all. So why not treat yourself to a mini-holiday. It doesn’t have to be to another continent. Another town or county will do just fine. And make sure it’s a sunny place where you can have happy vibes. While you’re there, document your journey – write a journal, take photos and visit landmarks. And when you get back, you’ll have a fresh mind.
Carol, 25

‘Do not, I repeat: do not call your ex in desperation’

Sometimes the loneliness feels like it’s killing you. There’s no longer anyone there to talk to about how your day was, there’s no one to give you cuddles. It’s just you and the TV. It’s tempting to ‘just check up’ on your ex, but it doesn’t help. It just revives emotions and resentment. Because after you’ve talked to him, you might later think: ‘Why did I have to be the one to call him first, does he not even miss me?’ And sometimes when you call, you get a cold reception and end up feeling worse than you did initially.
Gladys, 27

Have you broken up with your partner recently? Share how you got over it below or on Facebook. For help, get in touch with our forum moderators.


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Recent Comments (22)

  1. I broke up with my boyfriend…
    I broke up with my boyfriend at first I thot it wasnot easy to move on but after reading this I was able to move on and I forgot about him

    1. (No subject)
      Hello Kelsy,

      We are so glad that the information here was helpful to you. We wish you well.

  2. This has helped me just…
    This has helped me just broken up recenty and the boyfriend doesn’t want to say it, I will just let go him

    1. We are glad this wa useful…
      We are glad this was useful to you Shryan.

  3. We have broken up and feel…
    We have broken up and feel more desperate, no on to talk to and feel like the life has reached its end…. Am stuck just need your help the guy calls me apologising bt still he’s moving on with the other lady so am like, what can I do

  4. nice message.have learn alot.
    nice message.have learn alot.

    1. We appreciate the feedback…
      We appreciate the feedback Dama.

  5. we broke up 2weeks ago….i…
    we broke up 2weeks ago….i am struggling to move on,but i know finally i will…i get tempted to text, but i stop myself cz i dont want to seem desperate…its so hard for me

    1. Sha, Moving on can be…
      Sha, Moving on can be challenging depending on what led to the break up and for how long you had been together. But you can still get together if you both agree but more importantly address the reasons for the break up in the first place. There is nothing wrong with you reaching out to your ex to find out if they are willing to get back together with you, however you need to be aware of the fact that your ex may not be willing to get back together and you will have to respect that. If this is not what you want you can then begin to work on you journey to move on. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/breaking-up/coping-with-a-break-up

    2. Wenever the thots of texting…
      Wenever the thots of texting him runs your brains,keep urself bussy elsewhere,other chores in the house or watever office n learn to make other friends that u dont feel issolated in an island of love

      1. We appreciate your…

        We appreciate your contribution Imma.

  6. It’s very painful surely…
    It’s very painful surely…

  7. I break up with ma ex 2yrs…
    I break up with ma ex 2yrs ago am still single en happy.BT since then I ave a problem of trust pple especially men.wat shd I do???help??

    1. Hi Eliza, It is normal to…
      Hi Eliza, It is normal to feel this way after a break up but before moving forward you need to resolve your issues with the past relationship. Realize that this one person betrayed you and he doesn’t represent all men. Allow yourself to trust another person, take each day at a time. Lastly, sometimes even with you best effort a relationship may not work.

  8. My boyfriend broke up with…
    My boyfriend broke up with me, we have been dating for 2 years now and we also have a young daughter am worried my baby might grow up without a father i feel so desparate n i cant seem to think of anything else, he doesnt want to talk to me and anytime i text he replies rude n he doesnt pick up my calls, i honestly dont know what to do, please help

  9. Hi Linet, So sorry about…
    Hi Linet, So sorry about this. Have you tried to address the issues that led to the both of your breaking up? You may want to begin by this and then see if there is a chance of you getting back together. It is possible that he may not be interested in getting back together with you and if this is the case you will have to respect his choice. Also, if you are not getting back together, you need to talk about your child and how you will both participate in raising him even if you are not together. We wish you well. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/breaking-up/failed-relationship-moving-on

    1. Hi Wale, it is normal to…

      Hi Wale, it is normal to feel this way. However if you broke up the right thing to do is to allow them to go so you can also move on especially if you have already tried to get back together and it didn’t work. 

  10. i had a break up with my guy…
    i had a break up with my guy, but with some advice i recover fast

    1. Hey Princess, we are glad…

      Hey Princess, we are glad you recovered from the break up.

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