Sad looking couple after a stillbirth

My labor story and realizing it was stillbirth

Nothing prepares you for the pain and loss you feel when your baby is stillborn. The saddest part is that we rarely want to talk about it. It is understandable because it triggers sad memories. Janet bravely shares her story.

I had a great pregnancy. No nausea and my body felt okay for the first and second trimester. And Andy was such a star. He would really spoil me; he would rub my feet and even cook. And he would call me in the middle of the day just to see how the two of us were faring on. It was great!

In the middle of my third trimester, my gynaecologist told me that I needed to slow down. The back pressure had begun, but the ultrasound showed that I had a healthy baby. I was told there was nothing to worry about. So I didn’t worry. The increasing pressure was normal as the baby was growing. Everything was fine. The baby’s kicks got more frequent, which excited us even more: Andy and I were counting the days until we’d finally get to meet our beautiful baby.

My water broke a day after my estimated due date. I was anxious and excited as my husband whisked me to the hospital. The nervous energy was palpable between us. I was admitted and my doctor came to see me. Everything seemed normal. Now it was time to wait.

Don’t believe what you see in movies…

Ladies, let me tell you something: nothing prepares you for the contractions. It makes you want to go crazy! I tried my best to breathe through them. Goodness, it was hard.
Everything seemed to be going smoothly though.

But suddenly, in between the contractions, I remember feeling like I peed on myself.

I asked Andy to check the bed sheet. He lifted the blanket and then had this panicked look on his face. He just said: ‘Hang in there, honey.’ I was a bit confused. I wasn’t sure whether the baby was coming or I had just peed myself and he didn’t want to tell me. I touched the now spreading wet patch. I lifted my hand to my face. It was red. I began to scream for Andy. After what seemed like an eternity, Andy rushed in with a nurse and I was being wheeled away.

All I remember is tears and everything becoming blurry as I counted backwards from 10. When I woke up the following morning, Andy was by my side, and so was my Mum. Their heads hung low, trying to hide the swollen eyes from all the crying.

I had lost my baby. I don’t even know if it was a boy or girl.

Nothing prepares you for this kind of loss. Nothing. For almost a year I didn’t even want Andy to touch me; he was patient. About 18 months later we were pregnant again and I finally had our first baby. I still wonder what went wrong the first time.

Have you had to go through a similar experience? Share your story below or on Facebook.

did you find this useful?

Tell us what you think

Recent Comments (23)


    1. Thanks for sharing John.
      Thanks for sharing John.

  2. Wah an encouraging story, is
    Wah an encouraging story, is b painful to lose a baby but God has a reason for everything. Hope u are having a happy family life and the great thing ur husband loved u more than u imagined. Thats y he was on ur side till the last minute

    1. Thanks for sharing that with
      Thanks for sharing that with us Justo.

  3. am mared for 9rs now,bt idon
    am mared for 9rs now,bt idon’t hve any kid ihv lost my pregnancy through ectopic 2times.ineed your help

    1. Hi Mo,

      Hi Mo,

      Sorry that you are going through that. You should consider going to hospital for medical attention.

  4. Sorry for that dear even my
    Sorry for that dear even my wife went through but thats not the end of your life still you can make it in Gods name

    1. Thanks for sharing your
      Thanks for sharing your experience with us Ronnie.

    1. You are welcome Ndagi.
      You are welcome Ndagi.

  5. I went through that…
    I went through that experience with my first baby but now am happy God blessed me with more kids.

  6. hi, i had delivered…
    hi, i had delivered prematurely with 22weeks but before that i was just normal i felt no pain until that day i had experience premature labour,the delivery was just normal, but i have a history of poly cystic ovarian syndrome and my gynae has with me since i was diagnosed with it,on that day of miscarriage she was confused on the cause until today,am now pregnant again and am on my 2nd trimester but am normal but what am doing is to trust in God because i believe everything that happens,do happen with a reason, i lost twin boys they being my firstborns,it was very painful but what i know God is in control, anybody who has any advice i shall appreciate, AMEN………………..

    1. (No subject)
      Hi Belinder,

      We are so sorry for your loss.

      It is a good thing that you have a specialist who is walking with you in the pregnancy journey. We are sending positive thoughts toward you and we wish you well.

  7. The placenta must have…
    The placenta must have separated from its attachment, its called placenta abruptio. Sorry for the loss

    1. Thank you Betty we…
      Thank you Betty we appreciate your contribution.

    2. Thank you Betty, We…
      Thank you Betty, We appreciate your contribution.

  8. Gods timing is always the…
    Gods timing is always the best

    1. Thank you Naomy for your…

      Thank you Naomy for your encouragement.

  9. thanks for the great…
    thanks for the great encouragement.
    it has happened to us too.
    however we are still worried about when the next pregnancy will come.
    we still in pain! we need more help.

    1. Hello Anonymous, thank you…

      Hello Anonymous, thank you for sharing your experience with us. We are so sorry to hear that you went through such a hard time. When your body is ready and the time is right, you should be able to conceive again. Just keep at it :). Wishing you luck and success!

LoveMatters Africa

Blush-free facts and stories about love, sex, and relationships