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First time sex: top five facts

First time sex or ‘losing your virginity’ is something you won’t forget. It can be scary but also exciting and special. So it’s important to make it a nice experience.

  1. Pay attention to your partner

    Are they enjoying it? Ask. Are they nervous? Try to reassure your partner by saying loving things. Does your partner feel insecure about you seeing them naked? Give compliments. Can you tell your partner doesn’t want to go any further? Respect their wishes.

    Listen to your own feelings and your partner’s: If you feel like you’re not ready for sex yet, don’t ignore the feeling! You are the only one who knows when you are ready. Don’t let someone talk you into it, and only have sex with someone you trust. That’s the key to having a good time!

    Read ten tips on having sex for the first time.
     

  2. Build up slowly

    You don’t have to do everything straight away. Build up the excitement slowly, so you both get aroused. When a woman gets sexually aroused, her vagina becomes wet. This is important because otherwise, intercourse would hurt.

    For three-quarters of all young people their sexual explorations go in this order: the first kiss, caressing under clothes, masturbating each other, and finally intercourse.

    More on sex for the first time here

  3. Talk to each other

    The first time you probably won’t know quite what you should do. Pay attention to the way your partner responds. Does your partner moan? Does he or she guide your hand to a particular place? These are signs that you’re heading in the right direction! But often the signals aren’t so clear. So talk to each other about what you’d like to try or not. Many people find talking about it really arousing too.

    And don’t forget to laugh! Humour and sex are a perfectly good mix!

  4. It’s not like in the movies

    Don’t expect it to go smoothly from the very beginning. It’s possible that the woman will experience some pain when she tries to have a guy enter her for the first time.

    You might also have trouble putting on a condom – it’s a good idea to try it out beforehand! Or the guy might come really quickly as soon as his penis slips inside – or even before. Or the opposite – he might find his erection drooping because of the nerves.

    This is all completely normal. Take your time and talk about it. And try again. Don’t take it too hard if it doesn’t work out perfectly the first time. Just keep on trying!

  5. Pain

    For women, first-time sex can be painful. That’s because the hymen, a stretchy piece of skin that partially covers the opening of the vagina, tears or stretches to let the penis in. Or because the girl is nervous, so her vagina tenses up and that makes penetration painful.

    Sometimes the expectation of pain is what makes a girl tense up so sex hurts. If she’s really relaxed, aroused and wet, though, there needn’t be any pain at all – or at least it can be minimal. Take deep breaths and relax. Don’t rush or force anything.

*While this article mainly talks about sex between a man and a woman, most of the tips still apply if you are having non-heterosexual sex.


If you’ve already had sex, how was your first time? And if you haven’t yet, how do you feel about the prospect of losing your virginity? Leave a comment here or join the discussion on Love Matters Naija and Kenya on Facebook.

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Recent Comments (765)

  1. waz really painful despite
    waz really painful despite the sweet words he uttered.

    1. Awww, Shila, sorry to hear
      Awww, Shila, sorry to hear that! Is it better now?

    2. Hey sheila am 20 years old
      Hey sheila am 20 years old and i recently broke my virginity it was the most painful experience and i didnt feel any sweetness,and ever since that day i have not been enjoying it i don’t know how to tell him that.pliz help me how do i get to enjoy sex coz its like am just making him happy though i love him so very much.can you pliz help me?

      1. Sheila,

        Sheila,
        Are you aroused? Are you wet? Is he gentle? Have you told him to pay attention to your clitoris?

      2. hey sheila do,nt fear him…
        hey sheila do,nt fear him tell

        1. We appreciate your…
          We appreciate your contribution Eddie.

      3. It could be that he’s style…
        It could be that he’s style is not ur goal so tell him to try new styles

    3. Shila want to learn more…
      Shila want to learn more about DAT experience

      1. Thank you Liz for your…

        Thank you Liz for your contribution.

  2. Did twice but am nt luzing it
    Did twice but am nt luzing it!hw do i knw ama a boy

    1. Hi Chris,

      Hi Chris,
      don’t worry, sometimes it takes some time to get used to and enjoy sex!
      Make sure that your expectations aren’t too high and you don’t compare your sex life with what you have seen in movies or read about in magazines or books!
      Have a look at our ‘making love’ section- you might find some tips!

  3. sex is the most thing i am
    sex is the most thing i am afraid of am 20 but still a virgin but my bf want us to have but am afraid wat shld i do

    1. Hi,

      Hi,
      sex for the first time can be very scary!
      But don’t be too afraid, as long as you have a loving bf and you take your time, you should be fine!
      Only do it if you are really ready for it, okay?
      Good luck!

    2. tel him to use condom den u`d
      tel him to use condom den u`d not fil dat pain xo much.prvnt ur virginity

      1. Using protection is always a
        Using protection is always a good idea, thanks Angelo.

    3. you can contact me on
      you can contact me on 0708204618 so that we can both have it for first time i think it wont be painfull

    4. you can contact me on
      you can contact me on 0708204618 so that we can both have it for first time i think it wont be painfull

    5. you can contact me on
      you can contact me on 0708204618 so that we can both have it for first time i think it wont be painfull

      1. Hi Wireh,

        Hi Wireh,
        Please note that we don’t deal with hook-ups.

    6. talk with him about your
      talk with him about your feelings and if he is a real guy he will understand

    7. talk with him about your
      talk with him about your feelings and if he is a real guy he will understand

    8. Trust your butt feeling. Sex
      Trust your butt feeling. Sex is very important so I beloved wait till you have the right person right relationship status (marriage) and all will fall in place
      Sex is mentioned for the married that’s. Why is gets tense when your not

    1. Hi Jane,

      Hi Jane,
      feel free to have a look around on our site.
      Especially the ‘making love’ section may be interesting for you!
      Enjoy!

      1. SEx is a gd game 2 adolt
        SEx is a gd game 2 adolt

  4. I had sex 3 times 1st was
    I had sex 3 times 1st was very painful bt the rest hav bin ok. the only problem is av never had the switness of sex wich guys do praise n this med me 2 hate sex totaly. we were both vagins I broke his n he broke mine. or is it him who doesn’t no how 2 play?

    1. Hi Yvett,

      Hi Yvett,
      sorry to hear sex hasn’t been all that great for you!. But please don’t give up on it. It is normal that the first few times are a bit awkward, especially if sex is new to both of you!
      Take lots of time with foreplay, and ask your boyfriend to play lots of attention to your sensitive spots, for example your clitoris. It’s harder for women to have an orgasm with just intercourse than it is for men.
      Check our ‘making love’ section for tips and tricks!
      Good luck and don’t give up!

  5. js dnt want 2 rem the de it
    js dnt want 2 rem the de it was very painful.

    1. Hi Sharlyne,

      Hi Sharlyne,
      sorry to hear that! Is it more fun now?

      1. Bro m a virgin nd i thinking
        Bro m a virgin nd i thinking to have sex..but my foreskin gets hurt right? Now my skin is not going back from the head..during the sex it will come back right?

    1. Hi Sasha,

      Hi Sasha,
      even for boys, the first time can be very exciting and stressing, with fears like ‘what if I come too fast?’
      But relax, and enjoy, and be gentle!

  6. I did it once with ma bf
    I did it once with ma bf after i dnt want even 2 repeat anymore bcz da pain i experience i cnt explain. Plz advize

    1. Dear Joy,

      Dear Joy,
      sorry to hear about your bad experience.
      Pain with sex can have many causes.
      Sometimes, when you are scared, you tense up and that can make it painful.
      Or you were not aroused enough yet.
      Or it could be that your vagina is very tight. Did you undergo female genital cutting maybe?
      Give it another try. Spend lots of time on foreplay, and ask your bf to be very gentle with you. Have a safe word, so that he knows when to stop immediately.
      If the pain persists, please see a medical professional.
      By the way, our sex expert Valentine talked about this a few weeks back:
      https://lovematters.co.ke/news/sex-hurts-help
      Good luck!

  7. we’ve tried having sex twice
    we’ve tried having sex twice bt the pain was too much for me to bear coz he still havent broke my virginity

    1. Hi Lis,

      Hi Lis,
      sorry to hear that!
      In order for sex to be pain free, you need to be relaxed and, more importantly, aroused! You can read more about arousal in the ‘making love’ section on the left of the page!
      Because you had two bad experiences, you will tend to be very tense now. Take lots of time the next time you try, have lots of foreplay, and keep breathing!
      What’s also important is that your bf needs to be gentle! Some men think that if a woman has sex for the first time, they need to use force to ‘break’ the hymen. That’s not true! The more gentle, the better!
      Hope this helps!

  8. How can you give advise for
    How can you give advise for Men to make sure their lovers are well certify when there having sex or what should they be doing to make sure they’re after their lovers having organism before them?

    1. Hi Kigali,

      Hi Kigali,
      check out some information in the resources on the left. The ‘Making Love’ section has a lot of useful information to answer your question.
      Also: communication is key. Ask your partner what she likes, watch her body language and listen to her. You will know what she enjoys!

  9. first it was painful that i
    first it was painful that i couldnt stop shaking but now its the sweatest thing and i can take all the positions.

    1. Hi Prisca,

      Hi Prisca,
      we are glad to hear things are going well for you now!

  10. am still a virgin and am
    am still a virgin and am 20 …am damn afraid abaut to loss my virginity

    1. Hi Shila,

      Hi Shila,
      please relax and don’t worry too much! With the right partner, who is gently and understanding, you shouldn’t worry about anything. In fact, fear makes it worse, then you tense up and it’s possible sex will be painful.
      So wait for the right moment, have lots of foreplay and relax- you should be just fine!

  11. i want to have sex but i dont
    i want to have sex but i dont know how to start and where he is also going to insert..am anxious…i also want to masterbate but i dont know haw to. any tips?

    1. Hi Alexia,

      Hi Alexia,
      check out this link on our website for more information on masturbation:
      http://lovematters.co.ke/resource/masturbation
      Also, in the same section, you can read all you need to know about first time sex.
      Good luck and don’t fear- sex is something to enjoy!

  12. my erection is sometimes not
    my erection is sometimes not hard enough though im stil a virgin

    1. Hi Paul,

      Hi Paul,
      what is your erection not hard enough for?
      Plus, the hardness of erection varies with arousal- the more aroused you are, the harder your erection is likely to be.
      So don’t worry too much about it, you should be just fine.

  13. hey every tym i hav xex wid
    hey every tym i hav xex wid ma chic she says its painfull is it normal?

  14. Am a guy age 24 but still
    Am a guy age 24 but still afraid of sex.advise me please coz that make me hate to talk 2 women.

    1. Hi Zulu,

      Hi Zulu,
      don’t be afraid!
      You will be just fine, especially if you tell your sex partner about your fears. Yes, that sounds scary, but knowing each others fears and trusting each other makes sex so much better. So don’t be afraid, talk to the ladies, and relax- it will all work out!

      1. hey guys.am a kul man age17 n
        hey guys.am a kul man age17 n am lookn 4a lover

      2. hey guys.am a kul man age17 n
        hey guys.am a kul man age17 n am lookn 4a lover

      3. I want to be in this sex work
        I want to be in this sex work

        1. Hi Kamau,

          Hi Kamau,
          unfortunately, this is something we can’t help you with. We only provide information on sex, love and relationships.

  15. when having sex I normally
    when having sex I normally cum very first without giving my chiq total satisfaction pliz help

    1. Hi John, this is quite common
      Hi John, this is quite common. First of all, it’s normal for a guy to come much quicker than a woman. Women need more time to get going, and, normal intercourse often isn’t enough to make them orgasm. So give her plenty of attention during foreplay, and focus on her clitoris. Check out our ‘making love’ section for tips.
      And you can practice to last longer, too. Next time you feel you are about to come, stop all movement. Wait until the urge passes and then start again. And you can try masturbating and holding of ejaculating for as long as you can. Good luck!

      1. What of in a situation,…
        What of in a situation, whereby your partner doesn’t want you to touch her clitoris, what will you recommend.

        1. Hi Philebaba, in that case,…

          Hi Philebaba, in that case, don’t touch her clitoris. Women’s bodies are different and what works for one could work for another. She knows her body and she is telling you what she does not like. Ask her what she likes and what she enjoys that way your sex life will be greatly enhanced.

  16. T waz xo painful 2 me,en stl
    T waz xo painful 2 me,en stl ma chiq hudaisha bt i dnt want 2 mes up again.

    1. Hi Peter,

      Hi Peter,
      don’t stress and take it very slowly next time. Lots of lube may help! Good luck!

  17. Does mustarbation affects
    Does mustarbation affects someone sex life?

    1. Hi Adams,

      Hi Adams,
      masturbation can positively affect someone’s sex life. Women who masturbate are generally better able to know what they want in bed. Men can teach themselves who to hold out ejaculation. And in general, masturbation leaves people more relaxed and happy.

  18. Am still a virgin but am
    Am still a virgin but am 26yrs. Is it normal?

    1. Hi Anthony,

      Hi Anthony,
      at what age you want to have sex is all up to you! Some people wait until they get married, others wait for the right partner and others have sex young. It’s all normal, it just depends on your personal perferences!

  19. My first time seemed painfl.
    My first time seemed painfl. I have done it 4 sometime. Evrytime am off frm it wth my guy. I gets stomach upsets y please? Is it normal

    1. Hi Nancy,

      Hi Nancy,
      seeing that it seems to happen every time, please see a doctor about this. Don’t panic, but it’s good to check up on such things!

  20. my patner denies sex,what
    my patner denies sex,what shall l dm

    1. Hi Samson,

      Hi Samson,
      if your partner doesn’t want to have sex, there is one thing you can do: accept it. Don’t pressure your partner. You can find out what the reasons are though, and see if you can talk about it. Whether or not to have sex is a very personal decisions, and you need to accept it.

  21. I am a guy,20 nd still a
    I am a guy,20 nd still a virgin,my girlfriend also say she is.
    bt i feel she’s nt..hw do i knw?

    1. Hi Vic,

      Hi Vic,
      your girlfriend says she is a virgin, so she is one. There is no way of knowing other than asking and believing what she says. Even doctors can’t confirm whether or not a woman is a virgin. Relationships should be about trust, so if you don’t trust she is telling you the truth, there may be other underlying issues.

  22. I am a guy,20 nd still a
    I am a guy,20 nd still a virgin,my girlfriend also say she is.
    bt i feel she’s nt..hw do i knw?

  23. Hey i am 23 and my gf 23 and
    Hey i am 23 and my gf 23 and i had sex before bt not with a virgin and my current gf is a virgin and we decided to do it on da 12 of december coz dats da day we started, soi dont know wat must i expect, i am also afraid to see her in pain i dnt want her first time bad. Wat should i do

    1. Hi Sipho,

      Hi Sipho,
      thanks so much for asking. To make sure she will enjoy it, you have to take your time. Make sure she is really aroused and wet before you enter her and make sure she relaxes. Have lots of foreplay, and pay a lot of attention to her clitoris (check the ‘making love’ section for tips). And then take it really slowly and gently. Ask her how she is doing, and make her feel at ease. Good luck!

  24. I have tried breaking the
    I have tried breaking the virginity of my gf but i have succeded.Every time i try penetrating her she screams so much in pain.How do i go about it.Could it be because i have a bigger dick?Please help.

    1. Hi Ed,

      Hi Ed,
      I hope you are being very gentle. There is no need to ‘break’ virginity.
      First of all, have lots of foreplay. Pay lots of attention to the clitoris (check the ‘making love’ section for tips) and make sure your girlfriend is aroused and very wet before very gently entering her. Because she has had so much pain before, she is bound to be tense. You need to make her relax and feel at ease.
      Also check what Valentine has to say about painful sex. http://lovematters.co.ke/news/sex-hurts-help

  25. my gf always ejaculates a
    my gf always ejaculates a colorless liquid that isn’t urine. what could be wrong with her?

  26. am stil a virgin n wenever we
    am stil a virgin n wenever we try 2play it i always feel pain

    1. Hi Anita,

      Hi Anita,
      the first time can be a bit painful. It’s important that you are properly aroused and wet before you get started. Tell your guy to pay lots of attention to your clitoris and generally be very gentle. Also, you need to try to relax. The more tense you are the more likely it will be for the sex to be painful. Check out our ‘making love’ section for more information. Good luck!

  27. am a 29yr old virgin gal n
    am a 29yr old virgin gal n still scared of sex. how can i make ma 1st exprnc less painful n memorable?

    1. Hi Famu,

      Hi Famu,
      you need to stop worrying!
      You will be just fine, but being scared will make you tense and then sex can indeed be painful. So relax, and talk to your man. He needs to know that he has to be gentle. You also need to be aroused and wet before you get going. That way, your experience won’t be too painful. So please don’t worry- you will be fine!

  28. Hi , i am 19 yrs , i had ma
    Hi , i am 19 yrs , i had ma first time sex on july this year , it was extra painfull
    I have had it with ma bf 4 times now though it is not painful nowardays it still feel awarkward , i mean i have neva neva enjoyed it but ma bf really enjoys it and
    Each time we have sex i get to pretend that i do enjoy it and even make sounds
    Just to please him , wat can i do for

    1. Hi Lucy,

      Hi Lucy,
      pole sana! Unfortunately, it’s a bit harder for women to enjoy sex than for men, especially with an unexperienced guy. I suggest you check out our ‘making love’ section and read up on the clitoris. You can even do this together with your boyfriend for tips. Sex is fun and enjoyable, but it’s normal that it’s awkward if it’s a new thing. So keep working on it and make your boyfriend realize that he is the key to giving you pleasure in bed. Good luck!

  29. is sex for first that painful
    is sex for first that painful for everybody it depends on samwan

    1. Hi Virginia,

      Hi Virginia,
      it depends. Some women don’t find it painful, for others it’s very painful. It’s important that the woman is sufficiently aroused and wet, and as relaxed as possible. The man should be gentle- some men still think that they need to break someone’s hymen with force, which isn’t true and will only cause pain.

  30. M 19 yrs old and i dnt want
    M 19 yrs old and i dnt want to lose my virginty also my gf dnt wnt that. . .bt both of us want to have sex. .so what should we do.

    1. Hi Alex, let me see if I get
      Hi Alex, let me see if I get this correctly. Both you and your gf are virgins and want to stay virgins, but you want to have sex. Is that it? Well, it all depends on what sex is for you. If it’s vaginal intercourse only, then you could have oral sex, or even anal sex. Some people would say that you aren’t a virgin anymore once you have had anal or oral sex though. If that’s the case, then you could masturbate each other. And if that’s not an option, I’m afraid you will have to stick to kissing and cuddling.

  31. i hv a small dick,canit break
    i hv a small dick,canit break a virgin gal?..is there a way to make it big?

    1. Hi Brayo, first things first.
      Hi Brayo, first things first. You don’t need to ‘break’ a girls virginity. Gentle is the way to go. And no, there are no ways to make a penis big. No pills or bumps work, and even surgery will give you a centimetre or two. What makes you think that your penis is not big enough? It’s all about how you use it, not how long or big it is. Check our making love section for tips on good sex.

  32. Wonderful n useful pieces of
    Wonderful n useful pieces of advice.like them

    1. Hi Yro, thank you for your
      Hi Yro, thank you for your compliments! Keep coming back.

  33. Hello..i dont get enough of
    Hello..i dont get enough of sex am i becoming addicted?

    1. Hi Jeff, especially when you
      Hi Jeff, especially when you are young, haven’t had a lot of sex or you have a new partner, it’s quite normal to get very excited about sex and wanting more and more of it. That doesn’t make you an addict. You have to start getting a bit more worried when sex is getting in the way of your normal daily life, like you can’t go to work because you need to have sex. Do you think that’s the case with you?

  34. I am 25 yrs , i am a virgin
    I am 25 yrs , i am a virgin because my penis is too small . I am afraid to have sex . Please help me

    1. Hi Kelvin, why do you think
      Hi Kelvin, why do you think that your penis is too small? Many men have that fear at some point. A normal penis is between 6 and 13 cm when flaccid and 7 to 17 cm when erect. Does your penis fall in that category? Then you have absolutely nothing to worry about. And by the way, even though men often think all that women want is a big penis, that’s actually not true. Check out our section on penis size under ‘His body’. So please don’t be afraid anymore, chances are everything will be just fine. Good luck!

  35. Am afraid to say this and
    Am afraid to say this and please dont expose my identintity….i had sex for the 1st time 5yrs ago,since den i used to masterbate my self.my sperm has completely ceased during the actual sex.is there possibility of coming back to normal? Please help

    1. Hi Bozzy, please don’t be
      Hi Bozzy, please don’t be embarrassed- questions about sex are normal. Masturbation shouldn’t have that kind of an impact on your sperm. It’s possible to ejaculate somewhat smaller amounts when you masturbate regularly, but you should still ejaculate sperm when having sex. Please talk to a doctor about this. It’s possible that everything is normal, but it’s difficult to judge this from a distance. It could also be the sign of an underlying illness, or a condition such as retrograde ejaculation, where the sperm flows in the bladder instead of out of the penis. Good luck and please let us know how it goes.

  36. Is masturbation a sin. And
    Is masturbation a sin. And does masturbation gives low sperm count?

    1. Hi Myers, if masturbation is
      Hi Myers, if masturbation is a sin or not is up to you and your believes to decide. We at Love Matters think that masturbation is a healthy part of your sex life, and we don’t consider it as a sin. And that masturbation causes low sperm count is a myth- just like many other myths about masturbation. Check out the two articles on masturbation in the ‘Top 5 Facts’ section of this website if you want to find out more about masturbation and how it positively affects your body (there are no negative effects).

  37. Hi, am 22yrs never had b4,
    Hi, am 22yrs never had b4, wen i tried to have sex my erection droped wen i put my dick in the virgina, wats wrong with me coz i could not erect again the whole day?

    1. Hi Kimb, erections can be
      Hi Kimb, erections can be mysterious. Sometimes you get them when you don’t want them, and when you want them, they are disappearing… First: don’t stress. Things like this can happen. You aren’t a machine, and sex can be exciting and scary. Also, if you used a condom for the first time, this can sometimes have a negative effect on an erection. Do you masturbate? Have you ever had issues then? Maybe try to masturbate with a condom, so your penis gets used to the feeling. And then, try again. If this happens a few more times, I recommend talking to a doctor about it. But for now, just keep trying. Good luck!

  38. Cool advice,
    me love it…

    Cool advice,
    me love it…

  39. Hi,am 20yrs old gal n still a
    Hi,am 20yrs old gal n still a virgin.Is sex for the first tym really painfull that it changes sm1’s walking style?

    1. Hi Nat, the pain from the
      Hi Nat, the pain from the first time won’t change a woman’s walking pattern. Sometimes, women (and men) can feel some muscle pain after sex (not just the first time), just like after exercising, and then it’s possible to have a funny gait for a day or two. And sex for the first time will be less painful the more aroused and relaxed you are. You can read more about arousal in the ‘Making love’ section of this website. Good luck!

  40. Hi,must a woman make some
    Hi,must a woman make some noises like screaming when having sex to show that they r reallly enjoyin it?ma bf complains tha i idont scream 4him.plz help,what can ido?

    1. Hi Sish, that’s a great
      Hi Sish, that’s a great question! Has your boyfriend watched a lot of porn? Because porn often suggests to men that a woman is only enjoying sex if she screams so loud that the entire neighbourhood hears her. This is not true! Some women are loud in bed, some are quiet. Screaming isn’t an indicator for a woman’s enjoyment, so please don’t feel like you are doing something wrong. Are you enjoying sex, are you having orgasms? Great! No need for screaming. Tell your boyfriend that you enjoy sex, but screaming just isn’t you. But an occasional moan from you might let him know he is on the right track, which will also be important for him to know. Does this make sense?

  41. I have masturbated a couple
    I have masturbated a couple of times but never had sex with any guy…am I still a virgin and will I feel pains my first time?

    1. Hi lady, that’s a difficult
      Hi lady, that’s a difficult question, and you can actually only answer it for yourself. Some people would consider masturbation sexual activity and think you are not a virgin, others would say you still are a virgin because you haven’t had sexual intercourse. So it really depends on what you believe virginity means. Regarding the pain, this also depends. If your hymen has been stretched or torn (for example by exercise or a fall), then you might not feel pain. Also, the more aroused and relaxed you are, the less likely you will feel a lot of pain. Does this make sense?

  42. av done it sevral tymes.ma
    av done it sevral tymes.ma 1st tym i dint enjoy coz of pain bt odaz i did.know av stayd without 4 2yrs coz ma huby isnt around bt i rarely hav rashes at my vigina n feels to play sex evrytim itink of it.iz it normal?

    1. Hi Klyn, that’s quite normal,
      Hi Klyn, that’s quite normal, yes. Everybody has sexual feelings and needs, and if you haven’t had sex in such a long time, it’s normal to miss it and to want it. Have you tried masturbating? It might not be as good as real sex, but it will leave you feel satisfied. And, against all myths, it’s healthy. I am not sure what you mean about the rashes though, could you explain that again?

  43. Give tips on hw 2 satisfy
    Give tips on hw 2 satisfy lady as she expect

    1. Hi Deno, the best tip: ask
      Hi Deno, the best tip: ask her what she wants. Every woman is different, and every woman enjoys different things. Only by asking her (or closely observing her in bed) you will find out what she likes and if you are satisfying her. You can also check our ‘Making love’ section and the tips for more information on satisfaction. Good luck!

  44. Hi is it advisable to use a
    Hi is it advisable to use a condom for the first sex wit a virgin?

    1. Hi Stella, yes, it’s very
      Hi Stella, yes, it’s very advisable. Condoms will protect you and your partner from unintended pregnancies and STDs. In fact, unless you and your partner have been testes for STDs together and are faithful to each other, condoms should always be part of sex. Does this help?

  45. does staying long without
    does staying long without having sex bring back your virginity?

    1. Hi Ann,

      Hi Ann,
      no, it doesn’t.
      Virginity itself is a bit of a difficult concept- different people have different ideas about virginity. But the most basic, that a person has vaginal intercourse for the first time, will not change even if you don’t have sex in a long time. The first time is the first time, and you will never have that again. As for the so-hyped hymen, the little piece of skin that may or may not cause bleeding when you first have sexual intercourse will also not grow back. In fact, in many woman it is already stretched or torn when they start having sex, through exercises or other activities. Does this help with your question?

  46. I am guy of 25 year old ,I
    I am guy of 25 year old ,I have sex ended in 2008 i stop , this is 5 year that i have even have sex . Sometime i feel sw pain and somuch pain i done know is because of that? Please help me and tell me love master

    1. Hi Oko, where do you feel the
      Hi Oko, where do you feel the pain and when do you feel it? Pain is a sign of your body that something is wrong, and you should see a doctor about this. It’s difficult to make a judgement without seeing you and knowing more about your symptoms.
      In general though, not having sex won’t have much effect on your body, especially if you still masturbate. If you don’t, then you might have wet dreams or be more stressed and irritable.
      But please, do see a doctor and let us know how it goes! Good luck!

  47. I am in my happy sex life but
    I am in my happy sex life but two weeks ago my elder sister broke my virginity now ma testicle is paining me more your imagination,STILL I AM 17-18.

    1. Hi there, before I get to the
      Hi there, before I get to the testicles, let me just say that: having sex with your elder sister, unless she has different parents from you, this is incest and not okay. Legally and morally. So please, do choose another sex partner from now on. As for your testicle, it would be a normal reaction, or unrelated to the sex, for example through squeezing or tight pants. But please, do go to see a doctor about it if the pain persists. It’s difficult to judge from a distance and without more information what the issue could be. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

  48. my ex did knw hw to satisfy
    my ex did knw hw to satisfy me durin sex,and by current b.f has a small thing and sometimes i get wet too much and not get satisty with his thing,should i tell him or nt?coz i lv him…

    1. Hi Ree, sorry to hear that!
      Hi Ree, sorry to hear that! Does your current boyfriend pay attention to your clitoris? Because size doesn’t matter all that much. Most women cannot orgasm through the in and out movement of intercourse, no matter how large or thick the penis is. What women need is stimulation of the clitoris. So, during foreplay, tell your boyfriend that you rally like him playing with your clitoris. Make him give you an orgasm with his finger or tongue during foreplay. Or even try kunyaza! You can find instructions in the sex & science section. If you already are satisfied during foreplay, you don’t need to worry about getting an orgasm with intercourse. Do you think that’s a good option?

  49. Sex Is the most sweetest tin
    Sex Is the most sweetest tin on earth ,when u get gud patner .but first sex is very painful,I ned to take ur tim with ur patner for to feel wat she is doing.

    1. Hi Mike, you are absolutely
      Hi Mike, you are absolutely right. Men need to be gentle and take their time. And, that the woman is sufficiently wet before he tries to put the penis into the vagina.

  50. I”m virgin, and i dont know
    I”m virgin, and i dont know how i can take care of her on sex time, How can i take her to the bed…

    1. Hi Sheyter,

      Hi Sheyter,
      Firstly, please check out our making love section in the resources, you will find a lot more information and tips there. Secondly, the key things are: make sure you take your time, that you are gentle and that she is wet before you try to enter her. And don’t be scared. Talk to your lady beforehand, ask her what she likes and pay lots of attention to her. And, please don’t forget about contraception, like condoms. Good luck and let us know if you have any more questions!

  51. PLz help me i am ready for
    PLz help me i am ready for sex bt i dnt hve a g.f so plz help me i am a cool.calm n collected so i nid sm1 hu wil help me plz as fast as she can or should i left my dgts so tht we could hve private if u found sm1 hu wl help me

    1. Hi Lucky, unfortunately, we
      Hi Lucky, unfortunately, we aren’t a dating agency, we just provide information on sex, love and relationships. But check out our Love & Relationship resources, you will find lots of tips and information that might help you find a girlfriend.

  52. every virgin does bleed f t
    every virgin does bleed f t their first 2 have sex?

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      no, that’s a myth.
      The hymen, a small piece of skin that covers the vagina and that can bleed when it is torn, is often already stretched or torn when women have sex for the first time. It can tear during exercise or even some movements. And in some women, it never fully tears, it just stays in place. And even if a woman bleeds, it’s normal not a big blood spot, just a small stain. Check out our virginity section- you will find a FAQ on the hymen there and you’ll have a lot more information on the hymen.

  53. how does genital multilation
    how does genital multilation can affect sexul intercourse act?

    1. Hi Ej,

      Hi Ej,
      it really depends on what kind of cut the woman has had.
      Many cut women wonder whether they’ll ever experience the pleasures of sex.
      For women who have been stitched shut, it can be hard to enjoy sex. The opening that is left is very small, and often too small for a penis to enter without pain (using lots of lubrication can help with this). Nevertheless, there are women who report having a normal and enjoyable sex life even with this kind of FGC. Sexual pleasure is different for every woman. So some women who have been cut can still experience pleasure.

      For women with category 1 and 2 FGC, it’s harder to reach orgasm than for women who haven’t been cut since the clitoris is one of the main pleasure centers for women. Many women achieve orgasm most easily by stimulating the clitoris. However you can still have an orgasm even when you don’t have a visible clitoris. The outer part of the clitoris is only a small part of a much bigger organ, than goes deep within the body. With an understanding and patient partner, you should be able to have pleasurable sex – it’s a matter of trying what you like and what makes you feel good.

      It seems that women who have been cut before they became sexually active are better able to adjust. Women who are already sexually-active when they undergo the procedure have more sexual difficulties, according to studies. Men can also experience difficulties during intercourse with a cut woman. Because the vaginal opening is so small, thrusting can be painful and even cause wounds and infections on the penis. Being gentle and using lube can be helpful.

      Generally, women who have been cut aren’t less likely to have sex though, studies show. Neither do they seem to start having sex later than their uncut counterpart. This research goes against one of the key arguments for FGC: that it keeps women from having more intercourse or having sex earlier.
      You can read more on FGC here:

      lovematters.co.ke/resource/female-genital-cutting

  54. i just want 2 tel u i need
    i just want 2 tel u i need fuck

    1. Hi Jboy, we are the wrong
      Hi Jboy, we are the wrong people to tell. If you want to have sex, we would advise you be nice to a lady and see where it takes you. Check our love&relationship resources for tips. Good luck!

  55. les sex masculin bien gros
    les sex masculin bien gros

  56. Hi guyz! Ma galfrnd alwayz
    Hi guyz! Ma galfrnd alwayz cryn abt pain when we hav sex.d first round she tries 2b strng bt second round cant even take 10 minutes nd thnk ma dick is large now afta circumising it plz her

    1. Hi Dion,

      Hi Dion,
      if your girlfriend is crying about pain, she is in pain. And ‘being strong’ is not the way to go. Pain means your body is telling you something is wrong, and just ignoring it isn’t good.
      Make sure she is fully aroused, and very wet, before you enter her. You could even try to make her orgasm before intercourse, by stimulating her clitoris with your fingers or tongue. This way, you are sure she should be sufficiently wet. And then be gentle. Ask her to say ‘stop’ when she feels pain. And then you stop. Try some extra lubrication and see if that helps.
      And also, seeing that she ‘can’t even take 10 minutes’ of the second round, why are you having a second round? Make the first round count. Change positions, and pace, and try to delay your orgasm for as long as possible. With sex, quality is better than quantity.
      If your girlfriend’s pain persists in spite of these changes, please ask her to see a doctor, to make sure nothing else is wrong.
      And check out what Valentine has to say about painful sex here: http://lovematters.co.ke/news/sex-hurts-help

  57. I AM 19 AND ALSO A TOP CLASE
    I AM 19 AND ALSO A TOP CLASE LADY I AM STIL A VARGIN BUT MY BOYFRIND DOSENT BELIVE WHY?

    1. Hi Fancy,

      Hi Fancy,
      we can’t really tell you why your boyfriend doesn’t believe you. Have you asked him about it? It seems that he doesn’t trust you. Tell him that and ask him why.
      Trust and communication should be the basis for a relationship. If that’s not the case, then you guys should consider how you can build trust and work on your issues.
      Does this help? Good luck!

  58. i also had de sem problm but
    i also had de sem problm but i notice de more u tri rubing to ge were u get de door 2 ur plersure sex kams

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      thanks for your comment, it’s great to hear about your experience.

  59. My gf i love wit the core of
    My gf i love wit the core of my heart and i am willing to marry her 2morrow sudenly turned her back to me of no cause and i can’t keep her off my heart i tried to reach her but her number is switched off what will i do?

    1. Hi Pros,

      Hi Pros,
      sorry to hear that. Is there any chance you can go see her? If there is something wrong with your relationship, you need to talk to her. Be gentle. Ask her what’s going on. You never know, something else in her life might be bothering her. Don’t draw any conclusions until you have spoken to her.
      Does this help? Don’t give up just yet. Good luck!

  60. I asked ma girl about when we
    I asked ma girl about when we should have sex and she told me after we’re married.I’m a virgin and she is too but I don’t think I can wait till then besides Im only 19.wat should I do??

    1. Hi Mike,

      Hi Mike,
      you need to talk to your girlfriend. Why doesn’t she want to have sex? Is she afraid, is it moral or religious reasons? You, as a couple, need to come up with a solution that makes both of you happy. I understand that you might want to have sex before marriage, to see if you are compatible in bed, for example. But she could have equally important reasons for not wanting to have sex. So talk! Find out what you both want and don’t want and try to find a way that works for both of you. Good luck!

  61. Thnks 4 yr gud advice. I luv
    Thnks 4 yr gud advice. I luv it!

    1. Hi Tony,

      Hi Tony,
      that’s great to hear, thanks!

  62. am 28 ad iam afraid of havin’
    am 28 ad iam afraid of havin’ sex is it normal ?

    1. Hi Sam,

      Hi Sam,
      have you had sex already or would it be your first time?
      Either way, being afraid of having sex isn’t surprising. We hear so much about pain and blood and discomfort. But don’t be afraid. If you are gentle, the wetter the woman is and the more relaxed you both are, you have nothing to worry about. But please share your fears with your partner before you have sex. Good luck.
      Also check out or first time sex section under ‘Making love’.

  63. I am a girl of abt 21 yrs, i
    I am a girl of abt 21 yrs, i enjoy sex wen i masturbate afta dat tym i hate it. Is it normal?

    1. Hi Lucia,

      Hi Lucia,
      I’m sorry, I’m not quite sure what you mean. What do you hate then- sex or masturbation?

  64. im a guy..20 nb still virgin
    im a guy..20 nb still virgin.my prob my panis sometimes erection hard bt my panis is so thin …so im afraid ..so i need help..nd how to i recover it..? so what should i do ..plz advise me..

    1. Hi Rabby,

      Hi Rabby,
      don’t worry at all. Many men at some point think that their penis is too short or thin, but usually, it’s in the normal range, even if you think it’s thin. And keep in mind: however long or thick a penis is, doesn’t matter. What matters are will make every woman happy is knowing where the clitoris is. See, the in-and-out movement of intercourse doesn’t make most women orgasm. But stimulation of the clitoris does. Check our ‘Making love’ section for more information on this.

  65. my 1st sex is my ex girl
    my 1st sex is my ex girl friend. She is very sexy.she told me i m fucked her

    1. Hi Njahed,

      Hi Njahed,
      but quite sure we understand what you mean. Do you have a question?

  66. tnx but tell me ..how to my
    tnx but tell me ..how to my panis build up …nd like western guy panis….its so long &thick..

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      the shape of your penis is genetic, you can’t change it. No creams or pills will change it. Stay away from them, they can have lots of negative effects on the body.
      Trust me- your penis size is just fine, you don’t need to change anything about it. Don’t worry about it, and just enjoy sex.

  67. it was painful de first tym
    it was painful de first tym buh now its loving!

    1. Hi Bella,

      Hi Bella,
      we are glad to hear that! Keep on enjoying!

  68. hi,not so sure but will still
    hi,not so sure but will still try
    .

    1. Hi Kimu,

      Hi Kimu,
      take your time. Whenever you feel ready is the right time.

  69. whenever i had sex with a
    whenever i had sex with a lady it becames hard to separate despite me proposing it mayb after i see it cant work anymo not to continue building false hopes on her..there excuse is am hotter n sweeter..wat shud i do?!

    1. Hi Msupa,

      Hi Msupa,
      I’m not sure I understand your question.
      Is it that you sleep with women, and then when you try to break up with them, it’s difficult?
      If that’s it, you need to be honest from the beginning- if it’s only sex you are after, you can’t lead them on and promising a relationship. Sex, for many women, is an emotional thing, and once they have had sex, they will feel attached to the person they had sex with.
      So please, if you don’t have any intentions of starting a relationship, you need to say that from the very beginning. It’s not honest to do otherwise.

  70. each time i see a hot girl ,i
    each time i see a hot girl ,i gets a big bulge on my pants is it a weakness? and i always masterbate n i have never had sex with a girl .am i still a virgin ?

    1. Hi Martiinales,

      Hi Martiinales,
      yes, that’s quite normal, especially if you aren’t very sexually experienced.
      As for the virginity, it depends on what your ideas of virginity are. Generally, people consider virginity as not having had vaginal or anal intercourse. Some people include oral, others don’t. So yes, in the minds of most people, you are still a virgin.

  71. Hi I am virgin I wont sex is
    Hi I am virgin I wont sex is hurt so mach

    1. Hi Coolj,

      Hi Coolj,
      not necessarily.
      Relax, make sure you (if you are a woman) and fully wet and aroused, and tell your partner to be very gentle, and again, try to relax. That way, it won’t hurt too much and you will be fine.

  72. Hi am 20yrs i want 2 hv sex
    Hi am 20yrs i want 2 hv sex wit my g.f every day bt she rèfuses it nd she z a vagine so plz wat do i do 2 her

    1. Hi Snipper, you need to talk
      Hi Snipper, you need to talk to your girlfriend. Why doesn’t she want to have sex? Is she afraid, is it moral or religious reasons? You, as a couple, need to come up with a solution that makes both of you happy. I understand that you might want to have sex before marriage, to see if you are compatible in bed, for example. But she could have equally important reasons for not wanting to have sex. So talk! Find out what you both want and don’t want and try to find a way that works for both of you. Good luck!

    1. Hi Ben,

      Hi Ben,
      we are glad you liked the article! Keep coming back for more and keep spreading the word!

  73. Hi sex iz di most sweet thing
    Hi sex iz di most sweet thing in di world,thoo it waz had 4 di fast tyme,i lv sex…

    1. Hi Sissa,

      Hi Sissa,
      thank you so much for your comment!

  74. i’m stll virgn when i ask to
    i’m stll virgn when i ask to do it she does’nt wnt it,coz she say that my penis is too long n i might destroy her…..oky i got 12 inchs end i don’t what i can do now.should i get another girl but the thing is that i love her very much please help!

    1. Hi jimmy,

      Hi jimmy,
      with 12 inches in an erect state, you still fall within the normal range. But trust me, it can seem huge, especially when you have never seen an erect penis before. So you need to reassure your girlfriend. Tell her you will be very gentle. Set a safe word- when she says ‘stop’, for example, you need to stop. Unfortunately, because she is already tense, you need to make her feel more at ease. Otherwise, the sex will be painful for her (when she is tense, she will tense her muscles, and sex will be painful). so use extra lubrication and lots of time for foreplay and her clitoris. Check out our ‘making love’ resources. You will find more information on first time sex there. Good luck!

  75. I dnt knw wat is wrong wid
    I dnt knw wat is wrong wid me coz after i lost my virginaty i became more addicted in sex more than i expected

    1. Hi Jose,

      Hi Jose,
      that’s nothing to worry about too much. Sex is exciting. And once you have lost your virginity, sex is new, and even more exciting than you expected.
      When you say addicted, what do you mean by that? How often do you have sex?

  76. I am 20… n am still virgin
    I am 20… n am still virgin and da problem is dad i feel of sex bt i fear n i have ma girl who she said she still virgin too xo she is forcing mad 2 have sex with her ,pliz advice!

    1. Dear Peter,

      Dear Peter,
      nobody should force you to have sex. At what age or time you want to have sex is your decisions, and only yours to make.
      If your girlfriend really wants sex, you need to talk to her. Find out if there are ways to work around it, or to find a compromise that works for the two of you. Honesty and communication are the basis of a good relationship. And of good sex.
      And please, do not fear it. You will be just fine. When the time comes, try to relax and enjoy.
      Good luck!

  77. I like ur teachings and
    I like ur teachings and sometimes imajine to have aschool to teach thy married, so that we can have satifactory with partiners.

    1. Hi George,

      Hi George,
      thank you so much, we are proud to hear that!
      And yes, wouldn’t relationships be so much easier if people were taught what works in relationships.

  78. It realy enjoying.,breaking
    It realy enjoying.,breaking girl bt it stil stresing…

    1. Hi Kevin,

      Hi Kevin,
      I hope you are aware of the fact that it is not necessary to ‘break’ virginity. Gentle is the best way to go and saves the girl unnecessary pain.

  79. Hi, am now 18yrs but stil my
    Hi, am now 18yrs but stil my penis ix small. I also fear having sex coz i might not satsfy a gal. Plz help wat kan i do?

    1. It sounds like you are really
      It sounds like you are really concerned about the size of your penis, but it is important to understand size is relative. What is big for some is small for others and vise versa. Everyone’s bodies are different and it is more about how they come together, not stand alone.

      There is very little that you can do to enlarge your penis is a safe and healthy way and generally are better off just accepting the body that you have. Learn how to use it, learn how to make it work for you and your needs. You are an amazing person with so much to offer regardless of size.

      If you are really struggling feel free to talk to a doctor to see what they may be able to do for you. Otherwise please check out:

      https://lovematters.co.ke/resource/penis-shapes-and-sizes

      http://lovematters.co.ke/news/big-penis-what-women-want

      /erections-vary-size-

      https://lovematters.co.ke/news/penises-enlarge-or-not-enlarge?

      Hope this helps, let us know if any other questions arise.

  80. is it normal not to bleed
    is it normal not to bleed while it ur first tym having sex?

    1. Hi Nelly,

      Hi Nelly,
      yes, it can happen.
      The hymen, a thin piece of skin that covers the entrance to the vagina, can bleed a bit when you are having sex for the first time.
      But it doesn’t have to bleed- sometimes, the hymen is already stretched before a woman has sex, while during sports, or using a tampons.
      You can read lots more about virginity in the virginity section of our resources. Have a look!

  81. I had sex with my gf she said
    I had sex with my gf she said she was virgin but she didn’t bleed at all is it normal

  82. woman only just for sex…
    woman only just for sex… Whatsapp me 0742833853

    1. Hi Thulane,

      Hi Thulane,
      we are an online platform providing young people with information on sex, love and relationships. We don’t deal with hook-ups or partner searches.

  83. does mastabution hv negative
    does mastabution hv negative effects

    1. Hi Ndo,

      Hi Ndo,
      contrary to common misconceptions, no, it doesn’t have negative effects.
      There are plenty of positive effects though, like less stress and, yep, satisfaction. Masturbation can even prevent illnesses. Check out our two-part fact articles on masturbation to learn more about myths and misconceptions.
      http://lovematters.co.ke/news/masturbation-top-five-facts-part-2

  84. thanx for this advice am
    thanx for this advice am planning to loose my virginity with my fiance and this site has helped as most.cos we are all new to it

  85. their is a girl that when i
    their is a girl that when i ask to hav sex with her she refuses what can i do?

    1. Hi Nick,

      Hi Nick,
      have you asked her why she refuses?
      Maybe she doesn’t want to have sex before she gets married, maybe she doesn’t feel ready for sex yet, maybe she is afraid.
      So please, talk to her. Find out her reasons. And depending what they are, you will either have to accept them, or see if the two of you can come to a conclusion that works for both of you. Good luck!

  86. everyday when i have sex it
    everyday when i have sex it hurt.why?

    1. Hi Lot,

      Hi Lot,
      there can be many different reasons.
      One question before though- are you a man or a woman (sorry, your name isn’t clear to us)?

  87. We were almost at d point of
    We were almost at d point of havn sex n waz suposd 2 b ma first tym bt i stoppd him coz he wasnt using a condom n he got furious plz waz it ryt 4 me doin dat coz i waz only tryn 2 protectn myself

    1. Hi Spinkii,

      Hi Spinkii,
      you can be really proud of yourself! What you did was absolutely right. A person who doesn’t respect your health or their own health enough to use protection shouldn’t be somebody you are having sex with.

  88. am twenty yrs ad i rly lyk
    am twenty yrs ad i rly lyk having sex bur i ave fear coz i hear itx painful an my partner insist

    1. Hi Jackie,

      Hi Jackie,
      the most important step to painless sex is to relax. Really. If you are tense, your muscles will tense and sex will be painful. So please don’t fear- it will make things painful.
      Also, you need to make sure that you are fully aroused and wet before your partner tries to enter you.
      And lastly, your partner needs to be gentle. Many men have the idea that virginity needs to be ‘broken’ and that force is needed. Nothing like that! The more gentle he is, the better the experience will be for you.
      You can read more on first time sex in our ‘Making love’ section.
      Good luck!

  89. am twenty yrs ad i rly lyk
    am twenty yrs ad i rly lyk having sex bur i ave fear coz i hear itx painful an my partner insist

  90. Wow datx good lexönx my chiq
    Wow datx good lexönx my chiq lovex xex everyday is it normal

    1. Hey Aliouse,

      Hey Aliouse,
      sex every day is fine, as long as both partners are up for it!

  91. Wow datx good lexönx my chiq
    Wow datx good lexönx my chiq lovex xex everyday is it normal

  92. Am stil a virgin i fear 2 tel
    Am stil a virgin i fear 2 tel my grl 2 give me! Any advice plz

    1. Hi Karis,

      Hi Karis,
      if you want a relationship to work, being open and honest is important. It can be really difficult though, to open up to somebody.
      But believe us, it’s better to be open and tell your partner what’s going on.
      Good luck- it will all be fine!

  93. am addictd 2 masturbting n i
    am addictd 2 masturbting n i want 2 stop

  94. am a sex addict and i lyk tha
    am a sex addict and i lyk tha game

    1. Hi Brayo,

      Hi Brayo,
      what does it mean to you to be addicted to sex? Do you like it and you could have it all the time? That’s normal actually. It becomes an addiction when sex starts to get in the way of your normal, every-day life.

  95. I usualy have sex with my g.f
    I usualy have sex with my g.f. even has become. I like nothing is special in having sex to me bt my g.f like’s it very much…wat cn I do…

    1. Hi Rapha,

      Hi Rapha,
      are you saying you have become a bit bored of sex? That’s okay, it can happen. Try to spice it up a bit! Use different positions, don’t just do it in bed, change your routine. Nothing is worse for the mood than the same routine, over and over again. Talk to your girlfriend about your fantasies, and see if you can make some of them come true. Good luck!

  96. I usualy have sex with my g.f
    I usualy have sex with my g.f. even has become. I like nothing is special in having sex to me bt my g.f like’s it very much…wat cn I do…h

  97. My Frend Has A Bending Penis,
    My Frend Has A Bending Penis, Told To Ask If It Can Be Straighten

  98. Am still a virgin but i want
    Am still a virgin but i want to have sex but am scared..ani tips..

    1. Hi Claudine,

      Hi Claudine,
      the most important thing is to relax- the more relaxed you are, the less likely you are to feel pain. Also, make sure you are very aroused, and wet, before your partner tried to enter you. For your partner, it’s important to remember that virginity isn’t something that needs to be broken- in fact, the less force he uses, the less pain you will feel. Gentle does it!
      Good luck, and again, relax!

  99. it is an very enjoyable game,
    it is an very enjoyable game, win 2persn and no sidman

    1. Haha, Laluksai,

      Haha, Laluksai,
      very well said!

  100. Am 24 bt i musturbate daily..
    Am 24 bt i musturbate daily.. Am I a virgin. Ave never slept with a girl…

    1. Hi Jose,

      Hi Jose,
      that’s okay. There is nothing wrong with masturbating every day. And you will have sex, once you find the right woman. You have nothing to worry about.

  101. I had never have sex in my
    I had never have sex in my life and the problem there is that how will i knw if am a virgin or not?….i mean maybe sign or symbol or anything that i will see and make me feel like am still a virgin or am no more a virgin.

    1. Hi Bolaji,

      Hi Bolaji,
      it’s very simple- if you have never had sex, you are still a virgin. That’s all. Nothing to worry about, if you haven’t had sex, you are a virgin.

  102. communication tips during sex
    communication tips during sex

    1. Hi Davies,

      Hi Davies,
      during sex or about sex? It really depends on what you want to say during sex. What are you having in mind?

  103. Am A Man 3os, If Am Have Sex
    Am A Man 3os, If Am Have Sex B4 5ms I Wil Release And Ds Is Border Me. Is D Hav Any Effect?

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      It sounds like you are coming earlier than you would like, this often happens to young men who don’t have a lot of sexual experience because they get very aroused very easily. With more sexually experienced men, it might be due to psychological problems, like fear, stress or depression.
      Generally though go slow, enjoy the buildup of touching and caressing each other. Make time for oral sex during your physical interactions. Take time focusing on your partner as well as yourself. Communicate together about what feels nice, what doesn’t and what you would like to try together. Experiment, explore and try new things!
      Make sure to use lots of lube and switch up the fun. Even if you do orgasm you can take some time to have oral sex with your partner until your body is ready to go again. Change positions and mix it up.
      Some people say condoms help them last longer, while others may use cock rings (just make sure it is the right size and not too tight!).
      Generally just remember that sex is more than just penetration and there are lots of ways to enjoy each other.
      If you are finding that you really cannot maintain an erection then it might be time to see a doctor. There are some medical conditions that can affect your performance but would need to be looked by a professional.
      You can also keep masturbating, however challenge yourself to last longer. Go slow, feel the way your body changes when you are getting closer to climax. Tease yourself, find tricks that help you delay the finish.

  104. Ma galfred is alwayz
    Ma galfred is alwayz scrimming when hvig sex.whatz wrong

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      is she screaming with pain or pleasure?
      If it’s pain, you need to ask what’s causing the pain. If it’s pleasure, consider yourself lucky! She is enjoying sex with you, and that’s great!

  105. what wil i do to sustain our
    what wil i do to sustain our orgasm wen hvig sex

    1. Hi Alfred,

      Hi Alfred,
      we are not sure we understand the question. What do you mean?

    1. Hi Fola,

      Hi Fola,
      is there anything we can help you with :-)?

  106. mine wasnt painful at all n i
    mine wasnt painful at all n i didnt bleed!!

    1. Hi Annaya,

      Hi Annaya,
      that’s great to hear. And it’s a myth that all women bleed the first time they had sex, so that’s totally okay.

  107. i was lucky i guess

    i was lucky i guess
    i didnt bleed n got no pain

  108. my gf is a vergin and she
    my gf is a vergin and she keep telling me she will not have sex untill she marry me….and i want to enjoy sex…plz advice

    1. Hi Kassim,

      Hi Kassim,
      i am glad to hear that you are in a relationship with someone that you care about. It is always such a good feeling to find someone that you connect with and even love. You have no reason to challenge her when she says that she loves you because she is expressing her feelings. Love is how you feel towards someone and the way being around that person affects you, it has little to do with physical connection people have.
      However, she cares deeply for you but yet you do not have a physical relationship. That is perfectly ok. You need to make sure that people are comfortable before engaging in physical acts. This is something the two of you need to communicate about. Talk to her about what you would like to do, and what she wants to do. Tell her about how she makes you feel, and then she can explain to you her feelings. Talk about virginity and why she is a virgin and her plans for the future.
      Ideally you should be able to maintain a loving relationship without sex. However, if thats not what you want then you might need to start seeking another relationship and repeat her wishes for not wanting to be touched.

  109. can i take mch alcohol in oda
    can i take mch alcohol in oda not to feel d pain

    1. Hi Hapinex,

      Hi Hapinex,
      that’s not a great idea.
      In order to not feel pain, we would rather advise gentleness, lots of foreplay, sufficient arousal and lubrication. That’s much better than being drunk the first time you have sex!

  110. hi im 23 i fear having sex
    hi im 23 i fear having sex bt i desire it…….i always wish 2 av it with by bf but on the other hand planning to have it after marriage…..im fearin to wait bcoz i hear the hymen hardens as u grow up n this may lead 2 more pain wen breaking virginity

    1. Hi Ann,

      Hi Ann,
      please don’t fear it. Your hymen will not harden over time, that’s a myth. And it’s also a myth that first time sex has to be painful. If you are fully aroused, and your partner is gentle, there is going to be very little, if any, pain. So please relax, and look forward to it! All the best!

  111. Plis help me ma man says he
    Plis help me ma man says he dont like to disvirgin a girl because is very streesful wat im i gox to do

    1. Hi Marie,

      Hi Marie,
      do you want to sleep with him? Great! Does he want to sleep with you? Even better. Tell him to forget about the stress. Tell him to just make sure that both of you are relaxed and comfortable, and that you are fully aroused. Other than him having to remember he needs to be extra gentle, there shouldn’t be any stress. So go ahead and ask him what stresses him about it, and then try to find a solution against his stress together. By the way, we are curious to hear what he says, so if you don’t mind, please do share it with us!

  112. Does masterbation break the
    Does masterbation break the hymen?

    1. Hi Lara,

      Hi Lara,
      that depends. Unless you insert something into your vagina (like a dildo or a vibrator), and you stick to your clitoris, you don’t really risk breaking the hymen.

    1. Hi Khan,

      Hi Khan,
      is there something we can help you with?

    1. Hehe, ni ukweli kabisa!
      Hehe, ni ukweli kabisa!

  113. Well….hey…im 15 and i
    Well….hey…im 15 and i jerk off a lot till orgasm and it makes me wanna have sex….my boyfriend tried putting two fingers in and the pain was horrible yet i was totally wet..what can i do cz if i cant take fingers i cant take a penis…

    1. Hi Cookie,

      Hi Cookie,
      many women cramp up the first time they have sex; they are tense because they fear pain. Which will make the pain even worse. It’s true that sometimes first time sex can be quite painful. But the fear of the pain often makes things worse.
      So try to relax, and tell him to go really, really slowly. That should be better.
      But, it could also be that your body hasn’t fully developed yet, because you still are quite young. So giving it some time might also be an option. Don’t rush into sex.

  114. i brke someone virginty and
    i brke someone virginty and am redi to say sori to her,

    1. Hi Cael,

      Hi Cael,
      why do you want to apologize?

  115. i’ve nva xex wit virgin gul
    i’ve nva xex wit virgin gul is pain 4guy

    1. Hi Xima,

      Hi Xima,
      it can be a bit uncomfortable because of the tightness. But other than that there shouldn’t be pain.

  116. if a have sex with a girl i
    if a have sex with a girl i loose my feelings towards her…help

    1. Hi Nash,

      Hi Nash,
      what do you think the problem could be? Are you just looking for the thrill? What is it that changes?

  117. Jana, am 32 and a mother of
    Jana, am 32 and a mother of one teenage boy.My first time was very painful . Then ,any time I stay without having sex, for a few weeks, it’s always painful almost like the first time. Is this normal? .

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      hm, that is a bit unusual. Make sure you are really wet and aroused, and make sure your partner is gentle when your partner first enters you.

  118. i did it wit a gal who had
    i did it wit a gal who had already done it n i tell u guys she made me love sex upto this moment, infact she has never believed that i was a virgin,

    1. Great, thanks for sharing,
      Great, thanks for sharing, Shaddy.

  119. u never update ma comments,
    u never update ma comments, nkt

    1. Hi Shaddy,

      Hi Shaddy,
      we only work during normal working hours, and it can take us some time to get to comments, but we promise, we will always get to them eventually.

  120. am so afraid 2 loose my
    am so afraid 2 loose my virginity.cx dey say its painful.i wnt 2 loose it any tips

    1. Hi Sala,

      Hi Sala,
      the tips in the article should be all you need :-). Don’t be scared, you should be fine!

  121. Am twenty, my chick being
    Am twenty, my chick being eighteen but every time i wanna have sex with her she realy rejects it. She’s a virgin and she realy becomes tense after the foreplay.
    She gets aroused well, becomes wet, and i can feel in her grip that she realy wants me to enter her but when i try to do so she tenses and complains about the size of my dick…… Please give me some piece of advice

  122. Am twenty, my chick being
    Am twenty, my chick being eighteen but every time i wanna have sex with her she realy rejects it. She’s a virgin and she realy becomes tense after the foreplay.
    She gets aroused well, becomes wet, and i can feel in her grip that she realy wants me to enter her but when i try to do so she tenses and complains about the size of my dick…… Please give me some piece of advice

    1. Hi Dennis,

      Hi Dennis,
      the first time can be quite uncomfortable for women. Try this: make her orgasm during foreplay, using your fingers or mouth. That will relax her. Then, use extra lube and have her breath out when you enter her. And she needs to relax. And you need to be super, super gentle. Try this, and see if it works! Good luck!

  123. Am a guy aged 20 bt mi babe
    Am a guy aged 20 bt mi babe fears the size of my dik, shoul l go ahead and break her virginity using my fingers?

    1. Hi Gashmishy,

      Hi Gashmishy,
      virginity doesn’t need to be broken. In fact, the more gentle you are, the better.
      If your girlfriend is afraid, maybe she isn’t ready to have sex yet. Have you talked to her about this?

  124. Cud wish to knw all about
    Cud wish to knw all about foreplay.

  125. Am a virgin…does someone
    Am a virgin…does someone bleed during her first time sex?..plz help

  126. nowadays girls brake
    nowadays girls brake virginity at p 5, reaching p8 there nothing u can tell her.

    1. Do you think that’s a good
      Do you think that’s a good thing or a bad thing?

  127. hello its been now two weeks
    hello its been now two weeks since ideliver nd my bf is so eager to av sex with mi nd am scared of the wond weneva iget close to him iget tempted to have him also but icnt plz help.

  128. It was so awkwrd tat i went 2
    It was so awkwrd tat i went 2 an extnt of bleedng,,bt 4 nw i rly enjy it though samtymz its painfl,

  129. sex is not a game to play…i
    sex is not a game to play…i dont want to do it nugu nyny

    1. That’s true, and it’s up to
      That’s true, and it’s up to you when you want to have sex!

  130. Can a guy control himself not
    Can a guy control himself not to throw very fast

    1. Hi Pauline,

      Hi Pauline,
      here is what we usually tell men who have issues with premature ejaculation:
      It sounds like you are coming earlier than you would like, this often happens to young men who don’t have a lot of sexual experience because they get very aroused very easily. With more sexually experienced men, it might be due to psychological problems, like fear, stress or depression.
      Generally though go slow, enjoy the buildup of touching and caressing each other. Make time for oral sex during your physical interactions. Take time focusing on your partner as well as yourself. Communicate together about what feels nice, what doesn’t and what you would like to try together. Experiment, explore and try new things!
      Make sure to use lots of lube and switch up the fun. Even if you do orgasm you can take some time to have oral sex with your partner until your body is ready to go again. Change positions and mix it up.
      Some people say condoms help them last longer, while others may use cock rings (just make sure it is the right size and not too tight!).
      Generally just remember that sex is more than just penetration and there are lots of ways to enjoy each other.
      If you are finding that you really cannot maintain an erection then it might be time to see a doctor. There are some medical conditions that can affect your performance but would need to be looked by a professional.
      You can also keep masturbating, however challenge yourself to last longer. Go slow, feel the way your body changes when you are getting closer to climax. Tease yourself, find tricks that help you delay the finish.

  131. I m 20 old girl and me n my
    I m 20 old girl and me n my boyfrd are thinking to get sexually close now..but I really dont exactly know what m I supposed to do over there
    M a virgin and he is too..

  132. is’t a must for a lady to
    is’t a must for a lady to bleed when her virginity is breaken. this has caused my lover to say that i was nt a virgin coz hakuona damu and yet ni yeye alikuwa wa kwanza. secondly, how do you know that a guy is virgin?

  133. Ve dis guy we had sex with bt
    Ve dis guy we had sex with bt having sex he seems no more interested with me what do i do?

    1. Hi Mukash,

      Hi Mukash,
      unfortunately, this happens sometimes, that after having made the ‘conquer’ they are no longer interested. Sorry dear!

  134. My first time was so painful
    My first time was so painful that I hate having sex again. My bf keeps on telling me to do it again bt I feel scared at the thot. Pliz advise on how I can get him into using cds

  135. can I attain a secondary
    can I attain a secondary virginity since I broke it in the first relationship n am afraid of the wch I am in currently

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      sorry, but once you have sex, you have lost your virginity.

  136. I have never done it before
    I have never done it before but am interested in it…please advs

  137. infact i never experienced
    infact i never experienced the pain that ppl talk about

    1. That’s great, Lilly!
      That’s great, Lilly!

  138. am 20yrs and am so afraid of
    am 20yrs and am so afraid of having sex becouse my friends told me its so painful is it that painful?

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      I’m assuming you are a woman.
      Make sure you are very wet and aroused, and as relaxed as you can be.
      And your partner needs to be slow and gentle- many men seem to think that you need to be forceful the first time- no!!!
      if you follow all this, you should be just fine.

  139. i have a gal hu we hav bin
    i have a gal hu we hav bin wanting to have sex wid.but she.fears saying dat t.myt.b painful….what shud i do n i want to do it with ha

    1. Munene,

      Munene,
      Make sure she is very wet and aroused, and as relaxed as she can be.
      And you need to be slow and gentle- many men seem to think that you need to be forceful the first time- no!!!
      if you follow all this, you should be just fine.

  140. i had sex with my girl n she
    i had sex with my girl n she z a virgin bt dint succeed to break her virginity for two times.wat kud b tha problem??

    1. Sammy,

      Sammy,
      what exactly do you mean by you didn’t succeed?

  141. av had sex several tymz bt my
    av had sex several tymz bt my partners penis has neva penetrated …..only da head v the penis penetrated da last tym we had sex bt i dnt bleed……xo my question is am i stl a virgin

    1. Hi Marie,

      Hi Marie,
      if you had penile-vaginal intercourse, which means any part of the penis, even the tip, is in the vagina, then you are no longer a virgin.
      And it’s a myth that all women bleed.

  142. i often find my self freaking
    i often find my self freaking out when my guy brings up the topic of sex i find it kinda wierd……

    1. Hi Lynne,

      Hi Lynne,
      what do you find weird? Is it the way he talks?

  143. i sleep with romamtically
    i sleep with romamtically refusez me sez coz she fear what should i di

    1. Hi Moso,

      Hi Moso,
      sorry, what’s the problem?

  144. Is it possible that if u dont
    Is it possible that if u dont hav sex for two years you become a vargin again

    1. No, sorry.

      No, sorry.
      Being a virgin means not having had intercourse- so even if you haven’t had sex for a while, you still won’t be a virgin again.

  145. heey nid help am 24 n a
    heey nid help am 24 n a virgin tried twice bt tha pain iz too much…currently in a r/ship n havent told my bf am a virgin….pliz help

    1. First, you need to tell him.
      First, you need to tell him.
      Then, make sure you are very aroused and wet and relaxed. You can also use extra lube. And he needs to be very gentle. Try to breath out when he enters you.
      That should help.

  146. ua advices have really done
    ua advices have really done me good thanks!

  147. I had my first sex with an
    I had my first sex with an experienced, i aroused her in all her sensitive parts and at last, she cum n took my dick n inserted it in her virgina. the problem is i ddnt erect enough till she was crying alot n asking me if i can insert all my fingers in. Still, she wasnt satisfied with that , she tried to make me erect but it was lasting for like one minute then stops…she felt so bad coz i made her high but ddnt fuck her to her expectation…wat is the problem with me? wat should i do to sustain my erection for long?

    1. Cruise,

      Cruise,
      Don’t worry too much! First time sex is often awkward, and it will take a while for you to get used to it.
      If it happens again, stroke her clitoris until she orgasms- then at least she is satisfied and you can focus on yourself and see if you can start over again.

  148. u wet enough for tha dick to
    u wet enough for tha dick to penetrate…thn afta sex whn ua done wid ua shortcal whn u wipe u get some blood spot for lyk 2 days n thn ur back 2 normal…pliz help

    1. Lydia,

      Lydia,
      Blood is never a good sign. If it happens frequently, then please see a doctor about it.

  149. it was sweet despite I
    it was sweet despite I masturbate before i take it in .I need one virgin to have better .who is ready for ???

    1. Umm, why do you think you
      Umm, why do you think you ‘need’ a virgin?

  150. Hi.am 21 n I was in a
    Hi.am 21 n I was in a relationship tht we never had penetration bt he could touch my clitoris especially and try 2 make his way using his finger…..am I still a virgin?

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      it all depends on your definition of virginity.
      Most people say that a virgin is someone who has not had intercourse yet (penis in the vagina). So by their definition, you still are a virgin.

  151. When havin oral sex,is it
    When havin oral sex,is it true tht wen u swallow sperms they can cause throat cancer?plz confirm thz fo me.

    1. Alvin,

      Alvin,
      sperm is not associated with throat cancer.
      However, oral sex can indeed be a risk factor for throat cancer, because of the viruses (HPV) present on the genitals. The risk is low, but to be on the safe side, please use condoms or dental dams to be very safe.

  152. Ya it’s painful for them who
    Ya it’s painful for them who are scared because lack of trust.

    If you trust each other then there will be no pain. After all its a art not a war….

    1. Rajeev,

      Rajeev,
      pain comes mostly from being tense and not aroused enough. Or from a partner who isn’t gentle.

  153. Hi m raj

    Hi m raj
    I do hand job twice a day
    It will effect my health

    1. Hi Raj,

      Hi Raj,
      masturbation is a normal part of a healthy sex life, so you haven’t gotten anything to worry about.

  154. i m not able to hv sex
    i m not able to hv sex completely as my cream comes out quickly whenevr i see films or girls part…plzz hlp wat shud i do????

    1. Mohamed,

      Mohamed,
      It’s is great that you are so enthusiastic about sex and pleasing your partner! Sex is one of the most enjoyable experiences we can share with other people and keeping the passion going and extending the length of sex can be a very intriguing idea. There is no one way to last longer because everyone is different and their bodies can all handle different things.
      It sounds like you are coming earlier than you would like, this often happens to young men who don’t have a lot of sexual experience because they get very aroused very easily. With more sexually experienced men, it might be due to psychological problems, like fear, stress or depression.
      Generally though go slow, enjoy the buildup of touching and caressing each other. Make time for oral sex during your physical interactions. Take time focusing on your partner as well as yourself. Communicate together about what feels nice, what doesn’t and what you would like to try together. Experiment, explore and try new things!
      Make sure to use lots of lube and switch up the fun. Even if you do orgasm you can take some time to have oral sex with your partner until your body is ready to go again. Change positions and mix it up.
      Some people say condoms help them last longer, while others may use cock rings (just make sure it is the right size and not too tight!).
      Generally just remember that sex is more than just penetration and there are lots of ways to enjoy each other.
      If you are finding that you really cannot maintain an erection then it might be time to see a doctor. There are some medical conditions that can affect your performance but would need to be looked by a professional.
      You can also keep masturbating, however challenge yourself to last longer. Go slow, feel the way your body changes when you are getting closer to climax. Tease yourself, find tricks that help you delay the finish.

  155. My first experience was very
    My first experience was very painful n the guy wasn’t gentle with me coz i told him twaz painful buh he didn’t want to stop!i hate sex

    1. Don’t hate sex, Paula! I
      Don’t hate sex, Paula! I think they guy you had sex with is not who you deserve! Find someone who is gentle and knows what he is doing.

  156. Tell me one thing how i knw .
    Tell me one thing how i knw …her Verginity is break or not.. ???

    1. If she had penile-vaginale
      If she had penile-vaginale intercourse, she is no longer a virgin.

  157. i want ave sex with a girl..
    i want ave sex with a girl…bt i dont get any place to fuck hr..

    1. Arav,

      Arav,
      you mean you don’t have a private place where you can have sex?

  158. Get used to the lady thn
    Get used to the lady thn remove Ur mind

    1. That’s interesting advice,
      That’s interesting advice, dawa.

  159. hey I always erect wen I see
    hey I always erect wen I see a charming lady….iz this normal??

    1. Hey there,

      Hey there,
      yes, this is very normal for men, especially when you are young and don’t have a lot of sex.

  160. Everytime I have sex I dont
    Everytime I have sex I dont orgasm until I be on top of him ways the problem.

    1. Caroline,

      Caroline,
      there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Most women have trouble having an orgasm without the clitoris being stimulated- and most men don’t know this. This has nothing to do with size, as the in-and out movement of sex alone won’t get you enough clitoral stimulation. It seems that you do being on top though, which is great!
      Check out this section to learn more about the clitoris, and have your man stimulate it during foreplay and intercourse: http://lovematters.co.ke/resource/vulva

  161. Everytime I have sex I dont
    Everytime I have sex I dont orgasm until I be on top of him wats the problem.

  162. am 25:n i fear sex alot,,i
    am 25:n i fear sex alot,,i ave tried it thrice n nmeishi kuachwa na guyz ju i hate sex,pliz advce

    1. Liz,

      Liz,
      sex is about trust and communication as much as it is about the act.
      Find a partner who isn’t just interested in his own pleasure, but who you can share your fears with and who is mindful of them, and who wants to find solutions with you.

  163. my first time was so awkward
    my first time was so awkward coz i had been insisting to my bf that i wasnt ready and he was threatening to leave me but coz i love him so much it just had to happen. it was more of like a rape scenario coz i was fighting him off and crying and he tore off my clothes to force his way. all the negative feelings made me not rily know what it feels like to have my virginity broken an all i can say is that love can make us do some rily stupid things.

    1. I am so, so sorry, Sasha.

      I am so, so sorry, Sasha.
      Nobody should have an experience like this.
      I hope you will find a more caring partner in the future, who respects you and your wishes.

  164. i have never had sex bt i
    i have never had sex bt i want to…..i av been with my gf for 4years n ol she lets me do z touch her pussy how do i convince her to let us do it

    1. Hi Ken,

      Hi Ken,
      if she is not ready, please don’t convince her.
      Have an open talk- tell her what you want, and ask her what she wants.

  165. My first tym was so afraid…
    My first tym was so afraid……n my bf went on n forced me to it….actuallly it was painful n boring coz wasnt ready 4 it…i dint bleed at all??is it normal??but later it has bn cool…but da hurting thing is dat up to date he keeps on accusing me i wasnt a virgin since i dint bleed???this makes me hate him

    1. Kiki,

      Kiki,
      firstly, no, not every woman bleeds the first time she has sex. It’s a huge myth!
      That your boyfriend forced himself on you, and is now even accusing you of not being a virgin- honey, this man does not respect you! He should have been slow and gentle, and made sure you were aroused, not forcefully entered you.
      I am so sorry to had to go through this. If you are still with him, please think about whether you really want to be with a man like this.

  166. My penis dsn’t stand 4almst
    My penis dsn’t stand 4almst 1min y?? plz hlp

    1. Oscar,

      Oscar,
      is that because you ejaculate, or do you just lose your erection?

  167. Just Getting Scared Day By
    Just Getting Scared Day By Day….ouch

    1. Please don’t be!

      Please don’t be!
      Sex isn’t always painful the first time.
      If you are aroused and wet, and your man is gentle, then it shouldn’t be very painful.

  168. unless my bf proposes to me
    unless my bf proposes to me we cant have sex. whn i tel hm i nd it he only laughs and leave

    1. Shia,

      Shia,
      it’s your right to make that choice, and your man has to respect that.

  169. i love your page it teaches
    i love your page it teaches me alot

    1. We are glad to hear that, Wil
      We are glad to hear that, Wil.

  170. can one get hiv by playing
    can one get hiv by playing with clitoris n not inserting the penis in a vagina

  171. can one get hiv by playing
    can one get hiv by playing with clitoris n not inserting the penis in a vagina

    1. Jemo,

      Jemo,
      the virus is transmitted by contact of bodily fluids. What you describe is a very safe activity.
      However, if you are worried about being infected, you and your partner should get tested together.

  172. I have aproblem of 30second
    I have aproblem of 30second erection then I go down….what should I do

    1. Jemo,

      Jemo,
      after these 30 seconds, do you ejaculate or just lose your erection?

  173. I have an erection problem…
    I have an erection problem….or is it because of masturbation which I did for 8yrs

  174. I mean I have been
    I mean I have been masturbating for 8yrs now my penis does not get hard….n I don know if my veins becameweak…pliz help

    1. Job,

      Job,
      does this only happen when you try to have sex, or does it also happen when you masturbate?

  175. I Don’t ejaculate bt lose my
    I Don’t ejaculate bt lose my erection

    1. Jemo,

      Jemo,
      are you otherwise healthy? Are you stressed, are you overweight, do you eat healthily? Do you have any medical issues, do you take drugs or medication?

  176. I lose my erection wen trying
    I lose my erection wen trying to have sex n sometime wen masturbating

    1. Let me ask you the same
      Let me ask you the same questions as the person above- are you otherwise healthy? Are you stressed, are you overweight, do you eat healthily? Do you have any medical issues, do you take drugs or medication?

  177. I can masturbate two times
    I can masturbate two times with full erection bt can not go the 3rd one….I don have any medication bt wen I try to have sex I always lose erection

    1. Job,

      Job,
      two times in one day and then the third time doesn’t work?
      That’s totally normal- your body will need time to recover.

  178. I have been masturbating for
    I have been masturbating for 8 yrs….can that affect my erection?

    1. It should not.

      It should not.
      Masturbation is a normal part of a healthy sex life, as far as we are concerned.

  179. Hey am 22 and virgin but
    Hey am 22 and virgin but afraid to lost it at all pleaae help me

    1. Hi Jane,

      Hi Jane,
      don’t be afraid!
      Just don’t rush it. Find a guy you trust and don’t rush anything. Take your time and only start when you really feel you are ready.
      And once you are in bed, make sure he is gentle, and you are very wet and aroused- then there is really nothing you should be scared of!

  180. can a virgin gal get so wet
    can a virgin gal get so wet that you dont even realise she is a virgin?

    1. Hi Ron,

      Hi Ron,
      your ability to get wet has nothing to do with whether or not a woman is a virgin.

  181. love matter na we mnaoma. is
    love matter na we mnaoma. is it true that we should at least start with inserting finger to our gf? coz i tried it once but alivuja damu mno. or is it i have a big machine, 0770521328. mombasa

    1. Abdul,

      Abdul,
      you can start with a finger. Also important is that she should be very aroused and wet, and to be extremely gentle.

  182. My penis is curved due
    My penis is curved due waring tight under-wares and having strong erection most of the time.plz advise on how i recover my original straight penis.thank you

  183. My penis is curved due
    My penis is curved due waring tight under-wares and having strong erection most of the time.plz advise on how i recover my original straight penis.thank you

    1. Sk,

      Sk,
      not only is it normal for a penis not to point straight up, but a curve is also normal. Don’t worry about it!

  184. When my gal was a virgin I
    When my gal was a virgin I feard 2 break her since I was still shy and so another guy did it without my consern but we later talked and reconsined with her,my fear is that she may dump me again 4 her 1st since it is sayed the one who breaks it is the man.Should I start looking 4another chick or ????????????please help

    1. Jocker,

      Jocker,
      it seems like you two seriously need to work on your communication skills. It sounds like you are just doing things independent of each other, and then you need to deal with the consequences. It would be better if you discussed the things you are concerned about honestly in advance.

  185. call +254725036045…for any
    call +254725036045…for any help!

  186. W’d you mind lettin mi knw
    W’d you mind lettin mi knw more about G-spot???

  187. I normally ejaculate with in
    I normally ejaculate with in the first minute be4 my wife erects so how can I prevent that?

    1. Idris,

      Idris,

      It sounds like you are coming earlier than you would like, this often happens to young men who don’t have a lot of sexual experience because they get very aroused very easily. With more sexually experienced men, it might be due to psychological problems, like fear, stress or depression.
      Generally though go slow, enjoy the buildup of touching and caressing each other. Make time for oral sex during your physical interactions. Take time focusing on your partner as well as yourself. Communicate together about what feels nice, what doesn’t and what you would like to try together. Experiment, explore and try new things!
      Make sure to use lots of lube and switch up the fun. Even if you do orgasm you can take some time to have oral sex with your partner until your body is ready to go again. Change positions and mix it up.
      Some people say condoms help them last longer, while others may use cock rings (just make sure it is the right size and not too tight!).
      Generally just remember that sex is more than just penetration and there are lots of ways to enjoy each other.
      If you are finding that you really cannot maintain an erection then it might be time to see a doctor. There are some medical conditions that can affect your performance but would need to be looked by a professional.
      You can also keep masturbating, however challenge yourself to last longer. Go slow, feel the way your body changes when you are getting closer to climax. Tease yourself, find tricks that help you delay the finish.

  188. am 22 and still a virgin am
    am 22 and still a virgin am afraid to have sex wif my bf cos of de pains dey say is involved in havn sex bt my bf undastnd since he is also a virgin he said he dsnt kw wer to insert his penis de last tym we wer tlkn of sex.wat shld we do cos we r both afraid of hvn sex

    1. Selley,

      Selley,
      if both of you have little idea of what you are doing, start reading up on it, for example with our resources.
      when having sex for the first time, you will need sure that you are very aroused and wet, and that he is very gentle, that way, there will be little pain.

  189. Hi am 22 n stil a virgin i
    Hi am 22 n stil a virgin i shared a bed wth a chick who was then my gal n we neva had sex just caresing,i loved her n yet we neva had sex bt she played me n now she has a kid n now i find it dificult on how 2 do it,other day a gal beged me 2 have sex wth her n i sed no n she asked me whether i hav a gf i felt so bad i hate sex i hate it yet am getin curious @ day

    1. Maina,

      Maina,
      take some time away from all these women, and give yourself time to get over previous girlfriend.
      Don’t push anything. Give yourself all the time you need to heal.

  190. My first tym was so painful
    My first tym was so painful but he seemed to be gentle now, I love it!!

  191. My first tym was so painful
    My first tym was so painful but he seemed to be gentle now, I love it!!

    1. That’s great, Mercy.
      That’s great, Mercy.

  192. Its hard for me to ejaculate
    Its hard for me to ejaculate.what might be the problem?

    1. Hi Kosh,

      Hi Kosh,
      are you using a condom? is it when you are having intercourse or when you masturbate? Do you spend enough time on foreplay?

  193. is it possible for one to
    is it possible for one to concieve while still a virgin?

    1. Milly,

      Milly,
      in order for a woman to conceive, there must be sperm. So if a man ejaculated near your vagina and some sperm gets in, then yes, it’s possible for a virgin to get pregnant.
      You can also get pregnant the first time you have sex.

  194. that sex exprolation order is
    that sex exprolation order is very true.but i still fear my first sex will be a disgrace.20yrs

    1. Not, don’t worry! If you get
      Not, don’t worry! If you get the time to know your partner, trust him or her, and then make it gentle and intimate, it won’t be a disgrace at all!

  195. For me am 19 scared to death.
    For me am 19 scared to death…i mean i cant imagine the fact that one day a man will penetrate into me. Though i have been with many guys..but i have never given a damn fuck to anyone due to the fact that each and everyone of them just want to get down with me because….my problem is that am very scared

    1. Mercy,

      Mercy,
      take your time. As much as you need. Find someone you trust, and who isn’t rushing you.

  196. For me am 19yrs and scared to
    For me am 19yrs and scared to death…i mean i cant imagine the fact that one day a man will penetrate into me. Though i have been with many guys..but i have never given a damn fuck to anyone due to the fact that each and everyone of them just want to get down with me because….my problem is that am very scared

  197. im 17yrs&rdy 4 sex buh i’ve
    im 17yrs&rdy 4 sex buh i’ve fear of losing ma vrgnity, advice needed plz…

    1. Dennis,
      why do you fear it?

      Dennis,
      why do you fear it?

  198. i have a gf n whenever we
    i have a gf n whenever we hard sex she insist that itz painful n lets me out before satisfied…….plz advice

  199. I have never had sex in my
    I have never had sex in my life by and now I have a girlfriend and I don’t not how to make her have sex with me and on top am afraid I might not be able to satisfy her if I do coz I got no experience in that what can I do?

    1. Peter,

      Peter,
      the most important thing is communication. Talk to her about your fears. Discuss what do you want to do, what scares you, etc. You are in this together, and you need to find solutions together.

  200. I already had my first time
    I already had my first time sex and i have done it sevellary… what do i do to prevent premature ejucurations?

    1. Dan,

      Dan,

      It’s is great that you are so enthusiastic about sex and pleasing your partner! Sex is one of the most enjoyable experiences we can share with other people and keeping the passion going and extending the length of sex can be a very intriguing idea. There is no one way to last longer because everyone is different and their bodies can all handle different things.
      It sounds like you are coming earlier than you would like, this often happens to young men who don’t have a lot of sexual experience because they get very aroused very easily. With more sexually experienced men, it might be due to psychological problems, like fear, stress or depression.
      Generally though go slow, enjoy the buildup of touching and caressing each other. Make time for oral sex during your physical interactions. Take time focusing on your partner as well as yourself. Communicate together about what feels nice, what doesn’t and what you would like to try together. Experiment, explore and try new things!
      Make sure to use lots of lube and switch up the fun. Even if you do orgasm you can take some time to have oral sex with your partner until your body is ready to go again. Change positions and mix it up.
      Some people say condoms help them last longer, while others may use cock rings (just make sure it is the right size and not too tight!).
      Generally just remember that sex is more than just penetration and there are lots of ways to enjoy each other.
      If you are finding that you really cannot maintain an erection then it might be time to see a doctor. There are some medical conditions that can affect your performance but would need to be looked by a professional.
      You can also keep masturbating, however challenge yourself to last longer. Go slow, feel the way your body changes when you are getting closer to climax. Tease yourself, find tricks that help you delay the finish.

  201. Ma galfrnd samtymz she
    Ma galfrnd samtymz she becomes wet end tels mi she is more painful bt samtymz she is normal. This is bcoz?

    1. Hophin,

      Hophin,
      the wetter women are, the less painful it usually is. It could be related to the position, maybe?

  202. Am aged 24 en married,for
    Am aged 24 en married,for 3yrz en av neva enyoyed sex en i cant tell the swtness of the sex for all this yrz en am worried ,could i be having Problems with ma hormones?plx help

  203. Am aged 24 en married,for
    Am aged 24 en married,for 3yrz en av neva enyoyed sex en i cant tell the swtness of the sex for all this yrz en am worried ,could i be having Problems with ma hormones?plx help

    1. Anitah,

      Anitah,

      Most women have trouble having an orgasm without the clitoris being stimulated- and most men don’t know this. This has nothing to do with size, as the in-and out movement of sex alone won’t get you enough clitoral stimulation. Check out this section to learn more about the clitoris, and have your man stimulate it during foreplay and intercourse: http://lovematters.co.ke/resource/vulva

  204. can uncircumcised man
    can uncircumcised man satisfied awoman fully

    1. Hi Ken,

      Hi Ken,
      whether a man is circumcised or not has nothing to do with his ability to satisfy a woman.
      Most women won’t orgasm from intercourse alone anyway- they will need stimulation of the clitoris.

  205. am 20 in campo but am a
    am 20 in campo but am a virgin…I would want my 1st 2 be my last

    1. That’s okay, Kiki! We will
      That’s okay, Kiki! We will keep our finger-crossed that you will soon find a loving partner!

  206. does the size of the penis
    does the size of the penis matter….my girlfriend fears myn and always screams while having sex

    1. Paul,

      Paul,
      generally, size does not matter, but it appears your girlfriend has pain during sex.
      Reasons could be that she is not aroused and wet enough, or that your penis head is hitting her cervix. Try position like her on top, where she can control the depth of penetration.

  207. i have never been in
    i have never been in relationship am afraid of women i dont have words

    1. Oh no! Any idea why you are
      Oh no! Any idea why you are afraid of women? Are you shy or scared?

  208. Eish itz nt a simple case, it
    Eish itz nt a simple case, it was painful

  209. All girls fear cz of ma big
    All girls fear cz of ma big dick wht cn i do?

    1. Lewis,

      Lewis,
      keep in mind that the vagina is a very flexible organ, that can have a baby pass through it.
      It’s important though to have lots of foreplay, because the more aroused a woman is, the wider and longer the vagina becomes. And of course, the wetness that comes with it, will reduce the risk of pain.
      Lastly, choose positions where she is in charge of depth of penetration, like her on top.

  210. hw do u knw weathr ur gal
    hw do u knw weathr ur gal frnd z satisfd wen ur in sex

    1. Salow,

      Salow,
      ask her.
      Sex is about communication as much as it is about the actual act. In order to have good sex, you need to talk to your partner. And that means asking if she is satisfied, what she likes, what she dislikes, etc. She should be doing that also!

  211. My man has small penis it
    My man has small penis it doesn’t satisfy me but he is a nice person what do I do, sometimes he can only erect for few seconds when ready fo making love it falls.what can I do? I love him.

    1. Moureen,

      Moureen,
      before talking about size, let me ask you, does he stimulate your clitoris?

  212. av not had sex yet ,and am so
    av not had sex yet ,and am so scared ….and my bf also seem to force me into it…..he tries to enter it everytym we kiss

    1. Shiks,

      Shiks,
      you need to be very careful.
      Having sex without consent (you saying yes), is rape, and it seems your boyfriend doesn’t care too much about whether you want to have sex or not.
      Talk yo him- he needs to understand that you are not ready yet, and he needs to respect that. If he can’t then you should think about if this is really the relationship you want to be in.

  213. I am a virgin aged 20yrs and
    I am a virgin aged 20yrs and I got a bf who luvs me so much and he really wants us to have sex but am so nervous and afraid and each time we meet he erects and says its so painful,is erection really painful?and should I stop seeing him in private to stop this? pliz help

    1. Dear Siddy,

      Dear Siddy,
      our expert answered a similar question recently: https://lovematters.co.ke/news/excess-sperm-my-foot
      That said, yes, erections can be painful, but if you consider that many men have lots of erections every day, it’s not a reason for him to pressure you.
      Don’t have sex until you are ready.

  214. ave breaked many virgins and
    ave breaked many virgins and the cry n to make matters worse the even scrim and pay me a bite.my gf want me to break hers n dont want her get hard times during the occasion how should I start take her the process n end the process?

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      firstly, you need to make sure she is very wet and aroused before you start. Pay plenty of attention to her clitoris, maybe even make sure she has an orgasm during foreplay.
      And then, be very, very gentle and make sure she is relaxed. That should do it!

  215. Am 23 and still a virgin… i
    Am 23 and still a virgin… i often get d desire but am never able tu expose to any man. I think something iz the problem.. my fear iz too much. Am i normal realy…. i neva finds the right person because i alwayz think they are up tu taking advantage of me

    1. Hi Luccie,

      Hi Luccie,
      we think that some suspicions are healthy- after all, you do want to have sex with a partner who loves you, and whom you trust, isn’t it?
      So please don’t worry, take your time and find someone who you feel comfortable with.

  216. am a vrgn at da age of 23
    am a vrgn at da age of 23 soon I’ll get married I dnt no hw going to deal wid my hubby in bed to mk him fll dat am da only woman he wnt

    1. Mishy,

      Mishy,
      good sex is about communication. There is no better way to find out what someone enjoys and needs than asking them, and in return, telling them what you want.

  217. The first time had sex,was
    The first time had sex,was nervous and found it painful,also bled,but after that pain eased but dnt find interest in havn sex anymore,dont know if ts ma parter or wats wrong.

    1. Thanks for sharing, Shirley!
      Thanks for sharing, Shirley!

  218. my first time to have sex…
    my first time to have sex….surely my gf screemed loudly….to the extend of bitting my ear…..she explained tha it waz very painfull….even myself i experienced some pain as i released the sperms……whenever i try to do sex …i have to experience alot of pain on releasing the sperms …..wats the problem

    1. Oscar,

      Oscar,
      pain is never a good sign- please see a doctor about this as soon as possible.

  219. i fear sex more than i fear
    i fear sex more than i fear for my life

  220. my beloved dear monicah is
    my beloved dear monicah is really claiming that …..during every sex game she normally cries ….the complain is my penis is extra large such that i go beyond limit…..surely how can you help me

    1. OScar,

      OScar,
      make sure she is very, very wet, or use extra lubricant.
      And let her be in charge of the depth of penetration, like her on top.

  221. i broke my virginity
    i broke my virginity yesterday…..it was not all tht painful.i enjoyed every bit of it

    1. That’s great, Nanah!
      That’s great, Nanah!

  222. Am 19 n still a virgin i av a
    Am 19 n still a virgin i av a guy who lvs me much n i also lv sim buh am afraid of sex.plz advise

    1. Monique,

      Monique,
      do you know what you are afraid of?

  223. Am happy to be in this site
    Am happy to be in this site

    1. We are glad to hear that,
      We are glad to hear that, Erick!

  224. Whots d different btwn
    Whots d different btwn masturbation & ejaculation?

    1. Daniella,

      Daniella,
      masturbation means stroking, touching and pleasing yourself in order to get an orgasm.
      Ejaculation is the release of sperm (or female ejaculate) from the genitals, usually during orgasm.

  225. am 19 hvent had sex and i
    am 19 hvent had sex and i tried it wth my bf but he ddnt succed to break me

    1. Shynaz,

      Shynaz,
      what was the problem, what went wrong?

  226. plz hlp is normal de tym we
    plz hlp is normal de tym we av sex wen i relliz naboeka na kuendelea

    1. Unless you are using condoms,
      Unless you are using condoms, that’s fine!

  227. I want to do it, but we are
    I want to do it, but we are all virgins so am scared of hurting her or of not doing it right,, please help

  228. my dem is virgin n she is
    my dem is virgin n she is very scared of having sex any tips??

  229. for the first ot was painfil
    for the first ot was painfil n we fought bt now its swt i lov it

  230. i am 15yrs i want to break my
    i am 15yrs i want to break my virginity bt i fear coz i thnk am too young for that but i rily want to do it please help

    1. Trice,

      Trice,
      you are indeed a little young.
      Do you have a partner? How long have you been together? Do you think he is serious? And, how old is he?

  231. Is it a must for blood to ooz
    Is it a must for blood to ooz out from the girl during breaking of virginity?

    1. No, that’s a myth! Check out
      No, that’s a myth! Check out our virginity section for more myths.

  232. My first time to have sex my
    My first time to have sex my bf tried to penetrate into me but it was hard…he tried again bt he couldn’t even after blood came out…is that normal?am wondering if the next time I will be having sex it will be painful.

    1. Brish,

      Brish,
      you need to make sure you are very, very wet and aroused, then you should be fine!

  233. i had sex for the first time
    i had sex for the first time it was so painful that i cnt recal ,i tried it for the second time yet its still painful what should i do because am not enjoying it?

    1. Cate,

      Cate,
      you need to make sure you are very relaxed and very aroused and wet before you start, otherwise it will be painful. And your partner needs to be gentle.

  234. Nice Advices I Like Them So
    Nice Advices I Like Them So Much.

  235. have made love with two men
    have made love with two men one with big penis and another with medium size penhis i tend to enjoy making luv and even cam if im with a an of medium penis and what to get married with the man with a big penis but is like ill not be enjoying sex what can i do to make big penis be intresting have tryied different style alot of romans and is not working for me pliz help

    1. Jachingyn,

      Jachingyn,
      does he pay lots of attention to your clitoris? Because for most women, it’s difficult to orgasm from intercourse alone, so they need clitoral stimulation to actually really enjoy sex.

  236. Am 22 i undstnd that wen i
    Am 22 i undstnd that wen i start avng sex i cm too first its lyk P.E plz any advice!!

  237. I had sex with a man who was
    I had sex with a man who was 2 bad,i did not enjoy it,but he wants more sex,what do i do

    1. Milli,

      Milli,
      it it your choice to decide to have sex or not.
      So either tell him no, or make suggestions to make the sex better, if you are still interested in him.

  238. thanks so much…..i m 20 & a
    thanks so much…..i m 20 & a virgin n my guy says he’s too but i fear having sex and that is what he wants plis help

  239. Lol dis is crazy hw can u
    Lol dis is crazy hw can u live without having sex

    1. It’s a choice, really, and
      It’s a choice, really, and whatever you choose for, it’s okay.

  240. Where can I get enlargement
    Where can I get enlargement pills?

    1. Jahkey,

      Jahkey,
      you can get penis enlargement pills in many places, but be warned: all they do is strip you off cash, they will have absolutely 0 effect on your penis size.
      Why do you think you need a bigger penis?

  241. Still waiting for an answer
    Still waiting for an answer

    1. Jahkey,

      Jahkey,
      we aim at replying to answers within a few days, please be patient 🙂

  242. at 20 still a Virgin

    at 20 still a Virgin
    just scared
    lol

    1. Aria,

      Aria,
      there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a virgin at 20; or with being scared. Take your time. Find a partner you trust and love, and don’t settle for less.

  243. am girl 24years …bt before
    am girl 24years …bt before i have sex some fluid come out .what do i d
    o to stop this

    1. Cherop,

      Cherop,
      don’t stop it! That fluid is great! It means you are aroused and ready for sex. Without it, you are at risk for pain, wounds and infections.

  244. I love my dude but he
    I love my dude but he never ready to break my virgity

    1. Cate,

      Cate,
      have to talked to him and asked him why?

  245. hey am a lady 26 years bt
    hey am a lady 26 years bt have never had it,when i went to try i found it hard and i got scared and told the guy i dont feel like he stope.

    1. Liz,

      Liz,
      it’s important to do it with someone you trust. And it seems the guy is aware of it, because he stopped when you asked him to.
      Take your time. Make sure you are relaxed and aroused. And don’t force anything! Good luck!

  246. honestly I think my vagina is
    honestly I think my vagina is too small I don’t imagine how that thing can get inside. still a worried virgin

    1. Don’t worry too much about
      Don’t worry too much about this! The vagina is a miracle organ. When you are wet and aroused (and you should be to have sex), then it becomes a lot bigger.
      Just remember, it’s big enough for a baby!

  247. Hey am 21,,still a virgin and
    Hey am 21,,still a virgin and damn scared to have sex..

    1. Adela,

      Adela,
      don’t be too scared! Have sex with someone who you trust and love, and all will be fine.

  248. I am 19yrs and i did it this
    I am 19yrs and i did it this yr fot the frst tym …i felt alot of pain bur there was no blood shed.am worried…wat to away my vagnty

    1. Pam,

      Pam,
      it’s a big myth that all virgins bleed.
      A virgin is someone who hasn’t had sex yet. So, if you had sex, you are no longer a virgin!

  249. It was hard for me to have
    It was hard for me to have sex with my partner b coz she was a virgin and I did not know how to do it right. But after some months we had sex easily. What really happened did another person opened her?

    1. Delta,

      Delta,
      if you have sex with someone, you need to trust them. And it seems you have your doubts! Why? Because it took some time?
      It’s normal. It took you a while to get used to it and in sync. Be happy it happened!

  250. I have never had sex and am
    I have never had sex and am sooo scared…..

    1. Mahindra,

      Mahindra,
      don’t be scared!
      Have sex with someone you love and trust, and things will work out!

  251. am 19 yrs old and damn scared
    am 19 yrs old and damn scared of losing my virginity. does it hurt that much as people say?

    1. Joy,

      Joy,
      it might hurt a bit, but if you are very wet and aroused and relaxed, and your partner is very gentle, it shouldn’t hurt a lot at all.

  252. I have never been fucked but
    I have never been fucked but I think it can be awesome

  253. i always belive that my
    i always belive that my virginity is for my future husband.but my bf wants it and am scared tell me what to do???

    1. Briannah,

      Briannah,
      you need to do what you think is right for you! If you want to wait until you are married, then you need to tell your boyfriend and make him respect this decision.
      However- there is a risk that if the two of you could split up if you don’t agree on this point.

  254. I am 22,av neva had sex bt
    I am 22,av neva had sex bt very ready 4 it,I hope it wont pain

    1. Tasha,

      Tasha,
      as long as you are relaxed and aroused and have a gentle partner, all should be fine!

  255. Am not a virgin but my chick
    Am not a virgin but my chick is a virgin when I go to bed with her she allows mi to do mi everything with are body even she makes sure that I mustarbate but when I try to break her virginity she shouts calling her mum wat should I do to make sure she just accepts me to have a fuck with her????

  256. am afraid of causing pain to
    am afraid of causing pain to my girlfriend …need help on how to making it enjoyable for both of us since its new for both of us…

  257. does marsturbaion affect boy.
    does marsturbaion affect boy…

    1. JK,

      JK,
      masturbation is a normal part of a healthy sex life, and it doesn’t have negative effects on men or women.

      1. Is it true dat mustabation it
        Is it true dat mustabation it can make u not to produce in future,and is it true that it reduces power in sex 8uDlG

  258. Hi I’m Peter I am only
    Hi I’m Peter I am only fourteen me and my girlfriend have tried having sex however my penis was too big for vagina (7inch) we used lube and condoms we thought it was that she was too tight and found it painful I have tried stretching her muscles with my fingers and it did work slightly but not really sure what I’m doing pls HELP

    1. Peter,

      Peter,
      sweetie, if she is your age, it’s possible that she (and you) simply aren’t physically ready yet.
      Spend some time doing other things, and don’t rush into having sex. There is no hurry.
      Not to mention that the legal age for having sex in Kenya is 16, so you could be committing a punishable offense.

  259. really i hate sex and i have
    really i hate sex and i have no experience about it, i heard from friends that it is so painfull that makes me to fear having sex

    1. Chiru,

      Chiru,
      don’t hate something you haven’t tried yet!
      Wait for a partner you trust, and take things very slowly. As long as he is gentle and you are very wet, relaxed and aroused, there will be very little, if any, pain.

  260. wawawa pliz datz cute deahz
    wawawa pliz datz cute deahz inbox mih now 0718724941

    1. Sorry, Belac, can’t help you
      Sorry, Belac, can’t help you with that!

  261. I av tried sex twice bah
    I av tried sex twice bah cldnt bear the pain am afraid I cant stand trying it anymore

    1. Jacque,

      Jacque,
      are you a man or a woman? Please let us know so we can help better.

  262. am 22 but steel a virgn am
    am 22 but steel a virgn am finding the one who can help me to remove it

    1. Chao,

      Chao,
      take your time, there is absolutely no rush! Wait for someone you really like, otherwise it won’t be a nice experience.

    2. Hi Chao, my name is Kevin
      Hi Chao, my name is Kevin Sanya . Do you mind getting to know each other? My phone number is +254718061598.

  263. hey, my boyfriend was so
    hey, my boyfriend was so eager to break my virginity but I was so tensed to an extent he forced his fingers through. it was rily painful and I bled after.what I’m not sure of is whether fingers can break hymen.and does it mean it will still be painful when he penetrates

  264. I have bin doing wit tree
    I have bin doing wit tree climaxer en I felt to be sweet…wen done it first tym wit ma bf I felt a lot of pain en it was not sweet like dat of tree…en did it wit anatha boy it was abit painful en not sweet…when I do finger inserting it sweet lyk dat of tree…is there a problem doing it wit man..plz help

    1. Sorry, what is a tree
      Sorry, what is a tree climaxer?

  265. I never get aroused when
    I never get aroused when making out with my boyfriend could I have a problem?

    1. Aby,

      Aby,
      does he pay attention to your clitoris? That’s a woman’s arousal hotspot.

  266. rubing vagina wit a tree..
    rubing vagina wit a tree…okay sleeping on a slanted tree..dat da tree climaxer..
    ..

  267. my gf is a virgin we sex chat
    my gf is a virgin we sex chat, she says will have xx but keeps telling me shes afraid of pain when its approaching the day.. shes almost 20. what should i do?

    1. VillageBoss,

      VillageBoss,
      make sure she is really ready.
      And once you get to sex, she needs to be super aroused, wet and relaxed, and you need to be extremely gentle, then it’s unlikely she will have pain.

  268. what’s wrong wir ma quiz coz
    what’s wrong wir ma quiz coz have ain’t got an answer from you….plz hlp

    1. What’s your question,
      What’s your question, Samantha!

    1. Not if you take care of the
      Not if you take care of the most important things: wetness, arousal, relaxation and being very, very gentle.

  269. ann…am still avirgin and am
    ann…am still avirgin and am fearing to have it am 22 years

    1. You don’t need to fear it Ann
      You don’t need to fear it Ann. Wait until you have a partner you feel comfortable with and then follow our tips. You should be fine!

  270. am 19 yrs old and stl a
    am 19 yrs old and stl a virgin.I feel amnt ready 2 have sex but ma bf wanted it so mch so that it can create a bond btwn us i love hm but i have tried 2 tell hm 2 give more tym but he says he cant n that i dnt love hm as i say.Is sex really a prove that u lv smebdy?I dnt know what 2 do anymre 2 make hm understand that its nt the ryt tym

    1. Purity,

      Purity,
      no, sex is not a proof.
      Talk to him and see if you find a compromise, maybe mutual masturbation or oral sex, until you both feel ready.

  271. It was very sweet very sweet
    It was very sweet very sweet

    1. Glad to hear that, Jane!
      Glad to hear that, Jane!

  272. I àm Alex I hve had sex twice
    I àm Alex I hve had sex twice in my lifetime but I have not had any enjoyment pliz i beg for your help

  273. am 20 en nxt wik will be my
    am 20 en nxt wik will be my weddng and am afrd of doin it wat shl d i do

    1. Don’t be afraid. Talk to your
      Don’t be afraid. Talk to your partner beforehand, and go over all your fears and what can be done to make you feel more at ease.

  274. Hi, am nw 24yrs bt i haven’t
    Hi, am nw 24yrs bt i haven’t had a stable r/ship, the 1st tym i had sex i was 20yrs and it was very painful, the second tym i had sex was after one yr ad it was equally painful as the 1st tym, an nw very afraid such that i have avoided having a boyfriend until nw, what should i do? I really feel that i should be relating by nw….

    1. Luisa,

      Luisa,
      don’t worry too much about what you should and shouldn’t be doing at your age. If you are not ready, don’t push yourself.
      As for the pain, mostly pain comes from not being wet and aroused enough, and being afraid that it might be painful- that makes you tense your muscles. And, your partner should be gentle.

  275. Sex for the first time was
    Sex for the first time was scary and very painful my man neva manage to b inside fo tat time but we enjoy it now

    1. As long as you enjoy it now,
      As long as you enjoy it now, June!

  276. I am recently married! but
    I am recently married! but not getting that much of pleasure from my wife, what should i do?

    1. Sutanu,

      Sutanu,
      what do you mean by that? You aren’t having a lot of sex, or when you have it, it’s not pleasurable?

  277. Ifeel much comforteble
    Ifeel much comforteble masterbeting and idnt have any feeling for girl s plz help me to come out of this.

    1. When you masturbate, who or
      When you masturbate, who or what are you thinking about?

  278. am planning to lose my
    am planning to lose my virginity next month. should I take pills on that day or before?

    1. Naomi,

      Naomi,
      you should be looking for a reliable birth control method. If you want to take birth control pills, you need to continuously for a few weeks before they work. E-pills aren’t a good method, they are only to be used in case of emergency.
      Also, only condoms protect from STDs.

  279. i am a young guy of 20 yrs my
    i am a young guy of 20 yrs my problem is that i have been marsturbating since i was in std 7 bt nao am a second year in tha university bt i have stopped when i was a first year,so my problem is,have i lost my virginity or am still a virgin boy?pliz help me

    1. Jacob,

      Jacob,
      for most people, a virgin is someone who hasn’t had intercourse yet, so yes, by that definition, you are still a virgin.

  280. I have several times made my
    I have several times made my girl friend wet sexually aroused but she alway doesn’t want to have sex with me what shud I do I feel I wanna get another girl friend who can sexually fulfill my emmotions

    1. If you truly love her, you’ll
      If you truly love her, you’ll understand

      1. Leena thanks for your input.
        Leena thanks for your input.

    2. Lawrence it would be
      Lawrence it would be important for you to talk with your girlfriend and find out why she does not want to have sex. Sex is important in a relationship but Relationships are much more than just sex.

  281. hey, have a virgin girlfrend.
    hey, have a virgin girlfrend. the day I wanted to break her she could not allow me go in claiming it was painful. she refused the attempt and we had to sleep, I felt inferior. this time round she is requesting for it and am afraid the history might repeat. what should I do?

    1. Dan first time sex can be
      Dan first time sex can be very scary for most people because of their expectations of it. Yo need to talk to your partner about it and discuss about your expectations of it and how you can make it memorable and painless. Helping her relax can go a long way into making it painless. Good foreplay to prepare her mentally and lubricate her is also something else that could help. Using a lot of lubrication to avoid any form of friction is also good in making sex painless. Being gentle and sensitive with her will comfort and make the experience painless and one that she remembers always.

  282. hi..im 24yrs old male and i
    hi..im 24yrs old male and i have been masturbating since i was 15,it has affected my relationship and i never want to have sex, and im a virgin, wat do i do to start having the need for sex

    1. Nick masturbation does not
      Nick masturbation does not remove the desire for sex, instead it helps in cooling off and relaxing when one’s body is craving for sex. Since you are still a virgin it means you haven’t had sex yet and you might be thinking its the same as masturbation so you prefer to avoid it. Though the end result might be the same (climaxing) the experience is totally different and you will find this out when you have it for your first time.

  283. am 24, had sex twice bt I don
    am 24, had sex twice bt I don’t know how to satisfy my girlfriend fully coz she always complain of not being satisfied and by that time my erection is gone, plz help

    1. Duncan, the best way to
      Duncan, the best way to satisfy your partner is understanding her desires and what she likes. You need to ask her what she likes and how she likes it, that way you remove guess work from the equation. It becomes easy to please someone who you know what they enjoy the most.

  284. i hv tried to get a
    i hv tried to get a girlfriend but i hv failed and am a still virgin,what can i do!

  285. i did it twice but there waz
    i did it twice but there waz no pleasure at all..i cant define its sweetness.plz help

    1. Sex c be a bad experience if
      Sex can be a bad experience if its not done right. Its important to understand your body and what you enjoy, that way you can teach your partner to pleasure you and you can both enjoy. And one of the ways of discovering that is through masturbation.

  286. I need someone to mingle plz
    I need someone to mingle plz

    1. sorry Ibra we can’t help you
      sorry Ibra we can’t help you with that.

  287. am a vrgn in need of a
    am a vrgn in need of a partner from kerugoya Kenya inbox me plse

    1. Sorry Paul we can’t help you
      Sorry Paul we can’t help you with that.

  288. Is the virgina lose its
    Is the virgina lose its tightness, and what causing it?

    1. The Virgina can lose its
      The Virgina can lose its tightness for several reasons including vigorous exercises, Child birth and even sex.

  289. Hi!, each time I want to have
    Hi!, each time I want to have sex with my girl se do refuse!
    when I introduse my dik in her vigina she do scream n refuse to go further!. what should I do?

    1. Mullah first time sex can be
      Mullah first time sex can be very scary, its important for both of you to talk about it and try and understand her fears. Sex for some needs a lot of mental preparation and she just might not be ready yet. First time sex needs a lot of patience gentleness and consideration so as to make it as painless as possible. If you intend to make her experience painless and memorable, you need to work together to achieve that . Something like using a lot of lubrication can go a long way into making the experience painless.

  290. Am in great love with my girl
    Am in great love with my girl friend but I ask for sex, she ignored me,but still she wants to be with me all the time . Luckily she does everything else for me apart from sex, Is she preserving her virgin for another guy,

    1. John have you tried to ask
      John have you tried to ask her who’s she’s preserving her virginity for? She just might be preserving it for when she gets married. Talk to her and get to know why she has decided to preserve her virginity, and what her intentions are.

  291. hi ave had sex for some time
    hi ave had sex for some time thou am only 19”’the problem is these days aftr coming the fast short my pennis goes flat for as long as 30mins or even an hour i dnt know why making me appear inferior

    1. Its possible to take time
      Its possible to take time after the first round for one to reset and rise to the occasion. This varies from person to person and it depends with a persons state of mind. If you want to shorten the time after the first round you and your partner could engage in some foreplay to pass time and also help to regain the erection faster.

  292. i had sex with my girl friend
    i had sex with my girl friend who was avagine bt she felt alot of pain n said dat it was becouse she was expecting her periods soon!can dat make some one to feel alot of pain for sure? advice.

    1. First time sex can be painful
      First time sex can be painful because of the hymen breaking , or if the girl is too tensed of if the man it too rough or the lady is not well lubricated. expecting Periods has not been known to cause pain during sex.

  293. Hi i ave bn dating a lady
    Hi i ave bn dating a lady 9yea ago ma gf we avent hd xx bt weneva i tel ha abt xx she wl tel meh our love is moredan sex nw we broke up en we neva hd sex in our tym bt promise meh after highskul she wil cme bck to meh cn she recal??.

    1. Whether she recalls or not is
      Whether she recalls or not is up to her its a matter of waiting, and if you happen to meet her you can always talk about it.

  294. my name is susan, am 22yrs.
    my name is susan, am 22yrs. Have been having sex with my bf bt i felt pain for the first round bt nowadays am addicted am contented with how he treats me. I love him sana. Sex is sweet and sweet. my husband to be.

    1. I am happy for you Susan
      I am happy for you Susan

  295. I got a gf in my first yr at
    I got a gf in my first yr at campus, she was even ma class mate, actually I couldn’t desire such a woman BT coz of the great love & care she had shown me , I later fall in love with her, we started dating , romancing bt she couldn’t accept me hv sex even though I liked it so much, she told me it wasn’t the right time for sex, so I couldn’t persist coz I never wanted to be chucked and by the end of da first semester, our love had grown to higher levels as we would do everything together as married pipo, During the holidays, I would send airtime to keep her in touch, To break my hrt at da begining of second semi, , I noticed her attitudes had changed, so out of many worries, I asked her BT she couldn’t tell till when I pressured her that she told me she had a boy friend else where and that she wasn’t willing to break their relationship, with too much dissappointment I told her we shld break our relationship BT she couldn’t let be, instead she started crying that I shldnt churk her & that she wants to be with me all the time and coz of ma great love for her, I accepted her request, BT da mo time I spend with her , the more sex feelings I get, even though she never let me enter her virgin or romance with her, Actually I gv her everything and we use the same plate everyday. Some friends of mine advised me to let her go coz she can’t full fill my sex emotions whiles others say I shld be with her…….. Till the final result is known. And am stl taking care of her till then bt i feel cheated and dissattisfied .Your advise will be greatly appreciated for . thank you.

    1. Hi, Dennis do you fell
      Hi, Dennis do you fell cheated and dissatisfied because she has another boyfriend or because she does not want to have sex with you? If its because she has another partner then you need to decide if you want to share her with someone else. If you want to be exclusive then its time to move on. If its about sex its important to respect her wishes and not pressure her into having sex with you. sex is important in any relationship but its not the only thing in a relationship. If you love her then you will wait until she is ready for sex.

  296. i always do s*x wt my gal bt
    i always do s*x wt my gal bt she always tells me she is satisfied just after first round yet she stil wants the next round
    what do think dr? does she always kid me? and she after intercourse she tells me abdomen pains what cud be the problem dr? help me plz

    1. Hi Jimmy, being satisfied in
      Hi Jimmy, being satisfied in the first round of sex does not mean one can not have a second round. As for the abdomen pain she might want to visit a doctor for check up.

  297. Am 20yrz en i ve bin
    Am 20yrz en i ve bin masterbatin since last year en am stil a virgin bt my girlfriend likes phone sex or sex chat whenever she feels moody en shez a virgin also am worried thru her masterbatin wont she by mistake break her virginity coz she said,she uses fingerz to do it

    1. stuart,

      stuart,
      It is true masturbation might break the hymen but technically she will still be a virgin until the day she has sex for the first time so there is no cause to worry.

  298. i had a friend of my mine
    i had a friend of my mine in primary that looked hot to me but i never wanted to say something to her before the right time because we were young i went to another school to where i finished my primary level i went for high school but the one year of primary 7 plus 4years of A level i meet ha on streets of Kampala i asked the number from her she told me i give ha mine but she sent a text which was good but after time went on i exposed my feelings to her she told me she is ready to love me and she won’t lev me she has money because she manage all the business of her mom her mom died she to told me guys love her because of the money but me am not all about money i need love from her because a could give what ever i have to ha that i can’t do to any gal she could call , text use Facebook or whatsapp tok to me but now no calls no every thing when i picks but she does not give me the time used to give me sometimes she doesn’t pick
    what do you think might be the reason

    1. Deram have you tried to ask
      Deram have you tried to ask her the reason?

  299. hey my bf alwys wan to av sex
    hey my bf alwys wan to av sex vt me bt I m nt rdy n he dont force me bt sumtym hs closnes chngd.my mnd to av sex bt hw nvr use proctn evn tho while rubng my v n sumtym I fl hs penis com insid my v ltl bit so I reli dnt fl pain cz oli hs upar penis try to put insid it nvr went cz evrithnk s fst fo us bt da qustn s cn I gt pregnant by rubng by touchng hs penis vt my Virginia

    1. Hi Isha, yes there a
      Hi Isha, yes there a possibility of getting pregnant when he is rubbing your vagina with his penis without use of protection. If he happens to ejaculate the semen can find their way into the uterus.

  300. am an 18 yrs old girl,,,,ave
    am an 18 yrs old girl,,,,ave bn dating a guy 4 7 months while I was still in school but on jan 1 2015 he asked me 4 a pose he hearted me soo much bcoz I lovd him we stayed 4 an year bin frnds now heve begged 4 a second chance en I agreed I dn knw if he has come back 4 my body bkoz we kept having sex 4 a while b4 we posed our r/shp bt 1 thing I love hme soo much,,,,,,,please help

    1. Hi Vanessa, if you are in
      Hi Vanessa, if you are in doubt about his intentions then you need to take things slow. Don’t be in a rush to do anything you are not comfortable doing. Get to know him again, try to find out the reason he broke up in the first place and why he want you back. If you are satisfied with what you find out then you can make a decision on how to move forward. All the best.

  301. I am 24yrs old I have a
    I am 24yrs old I have a boyfriend everytime he asks me to have a sex bt I don’t like it I don’t understand one thing does he actually wantz me or my body gve me solution.

    1. Hi Twinkle,

      Hi Twinkle,
      There is nothing wrong with your boyfriend asking you for sex. He is just expressing his desire to you. But if you feel you are not ready for sex you should also inform him the same. Relationships are about communication and expressing oneself. Talk to him about it and come to an understanding.

  302. ..Hi im anu i had fst tym sex
    ..Hi im anu i had fst tym sex dan blood comes frm my virgina ..wat to do…

    1. Hi Anu,

      Hi Anu,
      That is normal during first time sex its nothing to worry about.

  303. We havg sex for da first tym
    We havg sex for da first tym and blood cms dese it mean dat da gals vaginity z of and lf says why does she still feel pain wen ever u try to have sex with ha and wen can dat pain stop and she starts to enjoy sex with out pain

    1. Hi Israel,

      Hi Israel,
      When people have sex for the first time the virginity is broken whether the girl bleeds or not. First time sex can be painful. One needs to be gentle to reduce the chances of pain during sex. It would be important for her to be well lubricated and relaxed to reduce chances of feeling pain. communicate before and during sex to help both of you to enjoy it more.

  304. I don’t wanna hv sex with ma
    I don’t wanna hv sex with ma gf bcz I dnt think tht I m ready fr it coz I m just 16 yrs old Bt she said to hv sex.so shld I do it or nt????

    1. Hi Rocky, if you are not
      Hi Rocky, if you are not ready you should not do it. One should only engage in sex when they know and feel they are ready for it. Talk to her and explain to her why you can’t have sex yet.

  305. Hi,Makiche

    Hi,Makiche
    Am makiche seriously in lav wid a lady. We have dated for 5 solid years,I really lav the lady so much yet she still complains that am playing of cos not the case.Am stranded cos she has threatened to quit the game or have a supplement of which i feel will be unfair,I fear losing her but I can’t be supplemented, kindly intervene

    1. Hi Makiche, sorry to hear you
      Hi Makiche, sorry to hear you are going through this. What is the reason for her mistrust? What transpired between you to cause this? This are some of the questions you need to be asking yourself. You need to talk to her about it and find a way of resolving the issue.

  306. hi, am 26 years, and i have
    hi, am 26 years, and i have been in love with my girl friend for one year but i discovered that she cheats me with other men. what can i do b’se i love her somuch?, pliz help me.

    1. Hi David,

      Hi David,

      Sorry that you are going through that.

      I am sorry to tell you this but she does not love you. As much as you love her that’s not enough to sustain the relationship. You need to really think about what you want.
      You need to ask yourself if this s the kind of relationship you want to be in.

      Take time to think and make a conscious decision on thee way forward.

  307. ihave agf who loves me alot
    ihave agf who loves me alot but aim not sure whether ilove her when ithink of quiting the relationship ifeal am not being fare to her please help .

    1. Hi Kelly,

      Hi Kelly,
      Relationships are about being honest to yourself and your partner. You need to let go if you feel that she’s not the right partner for you, you need to stop wasting both your time and hers. It will be difficult for both of you but at least it will be the right thing. Think about it and decide.

  308. Ae! I hav a galfrnd that a’v
    Ae! I hav a galfrnd that a’v been dating wth for 2yrs now,bt the prblm is that she doesn’t admit that i truely do lov her inthat i cn’t talk to anybdy (a lady).
    kindly help wat should i do?

    1. You need to talk to her and
      You need to talk to her and find out why she does not trust you enough to let you have female friends. Talk about the issue and find a middle ground.

  309. My current girlfriend has
    My current girlfriend has broken up with a man with huge dick whenever I have sex with her she is unsatisfied coz my dick is much smaller than her former boyfriend’s dick she is also very big bodied with huge buttocks so I don’t knw the reason for the unsatisfaction is the big body which needs ahuge dick or her former boyfriend made her vagina big

    1. Hi Josh, the vagina is very
      Hi Josh, the vagina is very accommodating and goes back to size even when its been with different sizes of penis. The size is not the issue. You need to talk to her and find out what she likes or prefers to enable you to satisfy her.

  310. hi am kevin am 19 I av a
    hi am kevin am 19 I av a problem I do stmlate n ejaculate first such dat I don’t lyk engaging in sex bcoz weneva I do it I ejaculate a few mintx after making out wid ma galfie n can’t go fo more shots plz help

  311. I have bn married for 4 yrs
    I have bn married for 4 yrs bt my problem is premature ejaculation

  312. i have sex with a girl for
    i have sex with a girl for the first time so my penis gat a little scares and is really paining me dnt know caused it

  313. Hi, me and my boyfriend have
    Hi, me and my boyfriend have been in a relationship and in love for 6 yrs, we think that we are ready to have sex and wanna give it a try, and since we are both a virgin we don’t know what to do.. and are there any side effects after sex?? do you have any tips please?? .. thanks in advance

  314. I had sex with a girl but
    I had sex with a girl but unfortunately the cd burst….en So I had to use p II to give the girl after a period of about 3-4 hours after sex…….after the girl taking the pills for the first time the two tablets at once …..she started feeling unconscious in the stomach… she feels like vomiting…… wat can be the problem….???? Is it the side effects of the drugs…….???? Plus reply as soon as possibly

  315. want to know that I how much
    want to know that I how much tym vigina gets tighten in its orignal place coz I want to have sex with my bf but dnt want to be caught by my futur husbnd

    1. Hi Geva, the only way you can
      Hi Geva, the only way you can maintain your Virginity is by avoiding sex until you are married. You don’t feel like you have a promising future with your boyfriend? then you should really think about it.

  316. Hey I have never done sex but
    Hey I have never done sex but I hve addiction of daily masturbation … is there any side effects of it and is there any side affects after marriage..plzzzz help me

  317. i want to ask for how long it
    i want to ask for how long it takes to recognize that the gal is pregnant

    1. Hi Jem, one can either watch
      Hi Jem, one can either watch out for the early pregnancy signs or just do a pregnancy test 10 days from the day of her last unprotected sexual encounter.

  318. I am age of 19yr nd am a
    I am age of 19yr nd am a VIRGIN, b4 i hav sm bf, dat alway romance me, kiss me, cublin me, sm of dem put der peni on top my vigina, bt 4 d sex is nt allow in my body so nw dat am 22yr hw dat i hav found my future partinal so hav tel him everytin nd i hav stop dat rubbish in 4mth na, so wot wl happen 2 me bco am shy pls help me out, bco i kwn am a virgin

  319. Hi jem, normally we men when
    Hi jem, normally we men when we are having sex with a lady we had longed for so much, our apetite rises so high to the level that we ejaculate so fast and end up not enjoying the way we would want, how can i control that “very fast” ejaculation due to anxiety?

  320. Hi am a virgin and me and my
    Hi am a virgin and me and my befriend r trying to have sex but every time we try it hurts so bad so we decide to stop and try again later.wat shud I do because I what to be intimate with him but his penis never seems to enter and its annoying and painful..pliz advise.

  321. does masturbating effect the
    does masturbating effect the shape of the body

  322. I’m 32 years of age I’m
    I’m 32 years of age I’m having a problem of sex, when ever my man make love to me he live the bed for me to d Sitting room what could b d problem? Pls help.

    1. Hi Magret, have you tried to
      Hi Magret, have you tried to talk to him to find out why he does that?

  323. hello sir/madam , I m pawan
    hello sir/madam , I m pawan,recently my girlfriend agreed for sex and I was very happy,but during the time of sex ,when I tried to cover with condom ,it loses erection,that happened 3 times.i m soo upset and depressed ,I never had such problem,i feel shame remembering all this everytime.

  324. Hi I had sex with my bf for
    Hi I had sex with my bf for the first time and we didn’t use a condom but as soon as he cum he came out. And based on reviews about sex for the first time can cause late menses does it guarantee that I’m safe from getting pregnant?

    1. Hi Mary Anne that does not
      Hi Mary Anne that does not guarantee you are safe. The best thing to do is always use a contraceptive method to prevent unintended pregnancy.

  325. Hi.. I had sex many time but
    Hi.. I had sex many time but this pain still repeat it self. I can’t continue again

    1. Hi Ellen,

      Hi Ellen,

      have you visited a doctor for a check up?

      use the search bar on our website to find a clinic near you.

  326. I had sex wid ma gf hu said
    I had sex wid ma gf hu said she was a virgin buh no blood came, does it mean she wasn’t a vigin b4 I had sex wid her?

  327. Hello..,I have been engaged
    Hello..,I have been engaged to a gal for the last 1 month and I feel aroused everyday I thnk of her,I feel tht I should propose a date wid her to enjoy sex,hw can I address her tht we don’t break up wen I tel her about this?

  328. Hi…av never had sex but i
    Hi…av never had sex but i wanna have it for the first time
    I want to get tips on how my pussy n down there should be

  329. Can a girl lose her virginity
    Can a girl lose her virginity thriugh circumcision ?

    1. Hi Yoko,

      Hi Yoko,

      One is considered to loose vaginity when they have penetrative sex. Breaking the hymen because of various reasons like exercise does not mean one is not a vargin.

  330. I have a boyfriend .Am a
    I have a boyfriend .Am a virgin and whenever he tries to put his hand in my skirt I get scared and my body shivers andhe loses it and gets so mad at me But i don’t know I why it happens . He wants to touch me but am always scared.please help me

  331. whenever ma bf fingas me I
    whenever ma bf fingas me I get bleeding because of the pain what could be the matter

    1. (No subject)
      Hi HUn,

      Have you had intercourse before? The pain and blood could be as a result of the stretching of the hymen. Check out the article above for more information.

  332. I’m really scared to have…
    I’m really scared to have sex cause I’m still a viirgin what can I do

    1. (No subject)
      Hi Kayla,

      What exactly are you afraid of?

  333. Sounds funny but that’s the…
    Sounds funny but that’s the fact

    1. (No subject)
      Namia, sorry about that we hope you are better now…

  334. When i have sex i ejaculate…
    When i have sex i ejaculate very early

    1. (No subject)
      Hey Charles,

      What you could be experiencing is know as Premature ejaculation and this is when is when one ejaculates sooner than they or their partner wants. This maybe caused by a number of reasons including a lack of sexual experience which happens more often to young men. It may also be caused by psychological issues like fear, anxiety or even stress. Experience is the first solution, the more experience you gain the better you get at controlling your ejaculation.

      You could also try relaxing during intercourse by taking short breaks and deep breaths. In the long term you may need to begin to include exercises into your regular routine and also eat healthy, avoid lots of processed foods. You could also distract yourself during sex by thinking about other non sexual things, always begin with foreplay and consider using a condom since it will help reduce sensitivity on the penis leading to lasing longer.

      Check out the following article for more tips:-

      https://lovematters.co.ke/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation

  335. Mai question is that msi…
    Mai question is that msi girlfriend is virgin for the first time we having and she all making some sound pliz help what i maing going to for him

    1. Hi Pats,…
      Hi Pats,

      Part of your question is not clear but if your partner was making sounds that you did not understand it maybe a good thing to as her what the sounds meant so that there is no confusion.

  336. is it a must ikue painful…
    is it a must ikue painful ave did it many tyms n was not painful does it mean mayb ama still virgin???

    1. Hey, It is not a must that…
      Hey, It is not a must that one will feel pain the first time they have intercourse. If one is well prepared, relaxed during penetration the there maybe no pain at all. Also the hymen may already have n=been stretched as a result of other activities like sports. If you have already had intercourse you are not a virgin.

  337. sex for the first time is…
    sex for the first time is painful and not enjoyable on both sides
    i have had sex twice in my life but have not enjoyed it
    I need some one with experience to teach me

    1. Hey Denis, So sorry that sex…
      Hey Denis, So sorry that sex has been painful for you and not pleasurable as should be. It helps to take one step at a time and communicate with your partner. At times it could be the tension and this is why you both need to try and relax take deep breaths even breaks in between. Check out this article for more information;- https://lovematters.co.ke/making-love/virginity/first-time-sex-what-to-expect

  338. HI WHENEVER AM IN SEXUAL…
    HI WHENEVER AM IN SEXUAL FEELINGS I TEND TO GET WET WHEN AM FEELING MY BOY FRIEND’S PRESENCE BUT WHEN IT COMES TO FINISHING WHEN HE IS REALIZING, I DON’T YET HE SAYS HE WOULD WANT TO SO THAT WE ENJOY.WHAT COULD BE THE REASON

  339. I lost my virginity 9 months…
    I lost my virginity 9 months ago , I have never enjoyed sex….What could be the problem? Am aroused I get wet.

  340. I jast broke my virginity it…
    I jast broke my virginity it was not painful when having sex the nxt day i had my periods after my periods i started having pains on my virgina wat is wrong wid me pliz help me coz am very scared of having an STI

    1. Hi Tintin, If this pain come…
      Hi Tintin, If this pain come later it could be an infection. This doesn’t have to be a Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI), it could also be a Urinary Track Infection (UTI) which is typically caused by a bacteria. If you however had a protected sex, meaning you didn’t use a condom, there is a possibility of getting infected with an STI. If the pain has persisted you need to seek medical attention.

  341. I’m a boy en I fear to give…
    I’m a boy en I fear to give it a try that I may not fail, I’m 19 how can you advice

  342. Hey Jnr Lover, You don’t…
    Hey Jnr Lover, You don’t have to have sex if you feel unprepared. Take your time, take time and learn as much as you can and only go on to have sex if you feel ready, you are with the right person and have considered how to prevent unplanned pregnancies and Sexually Transmitted Infections. Lastly, don’t be too worried about performance, you will get better with experience. Check out the following article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/making-love/virginity/first-time-sex-what-to-expect

  343. haven’t done it yet but she…
    haven’t done it yet but she still cry’s that it is painful please help

  344. It is my first tym to do sex…
    It is my first tym to do sex with my gal she woz also a virgin bt i couldn’t make to break her and now she is not willing to do it ahain ,,,,,wot should i do …help me plizzzzz

    1. Hey Morgan, …
      Hey Morgan,

      I am sorry for your first experience; while sex should be enjoyable, first time sex can turn out not as expected. However, you should not feel like everything is lost. Perhaps you may want to start by finding out why your gal is not willing to have sex, is it because of pain or are there other issues. If it is about pain, talk about it and find ways to address it such as foreplay. If she is not ready to have sex again, respect her decision.

  345. I want to have sex but am…
    I want to have sex but am afraid

  346. Am 21 years old since I…
    Am 21 years old since I broke my virginity I can’t feel any sweetness during sex.what should I.do

  347. hi,am 23 bt hv a problem wen…
    hi,am 23 bt hv a problem wen hv sex the man is the one enjoying coz he releases while am not satisfied amd caming back is a problem coz he is already tired wat myt be the problem and hw long should he relax after realeasing before caming back

    1. Hi Jane, most of the time,…

      Hi Jane, most of the time, the man will orgasm before the woman. It is important to know what will get you to orgasm and then let your partner know or show them what to do to get you there. Often, vaginal sex only will not get a women to orgasm. After ejaculation, a man goes through the refractory period, a time which he can’t get an erection. How long this time takes varies from one person to another. It may take upto twenty minutes or longer before one can get another erection. Sex is better when partners talk about it. Check out the following articles for more tips;- 

      https://lovematters.co.ke/making-love/orgasms/her-orgasms

      https://lovematters.co.ke/making-love/ways-to-make-love/talking-about-sex  

  348. I have lost my virginity to…
    I have lost my virginity to my soulmate and even though I was nervous he made me feel relaxed and before hand we experimented with semi sex just not going all the way and it made me feel amazing

    1. Thank you for sharing your…

      Thank you for sharing your experience with us Megan.

  349. My penis is very small but…
    My penis is very small but whenever l have sex, l must also get injury why?

    1. Hello Daby, first, penises…

      Hello Daby, first, penises come in different sizes and shapes, regardless of the size and shape one has ability to enjoy sex and even get the partner to achieve sexual satisfaction. Second, the size of a penis does not have a relationship with an injury. 

      An erect penis is breakable, as the penis contains no bone to be snapped. Such a fracture occurs when an erect penis is bent too much in the wrong direction, causing a rupture or tear. Most penis fractures occur during ‘violent intercourse. Depending on the extent of the penis injury, you can have six weeks of rest or a surgery. 

      Check out this article for more information: https://lovematters.co.ke/our-bodies/male-body/small-penis-its-all-in-the-mind

  350. i lost my virginity February…
    i lost my virginity February this year am 20 it was the worst experience ever!!! i visited him twice and every time after sex i feel abdominal pain and like. am having a wound inside while he’s trying to penetrate i have never enjoyed sex for real what might be the problem please help

    1. Hi Mish, So sorry about this…
      Hi Mish, So sorry about this. Sex ought to be pleasurable for both partners. First time sex however, can be painful especially if you are not well prepared both physically and psychologically. Pain could also be caused by the stretching of the hymen during first time sex. Spending time or more time in foreplay helps the vagina to self lubricate which makes penetration easier and pleasurable for both partners. It is important to talk about sex with ones partner before, during and even after sex which helps to improve the experience for both. Check out the following articles for more tips;-
      https://lovematters.co.ke/making-love/ways-to-make-love/talking-about-sex
      https://lovematters.co.ke/making-love/foreplay-dos-and-donts
      https://lovematters.co.ke/making-love/virginity/the-hymen-what-is-it

  351. I feel burning immediately…
    I feel burning immediately after sex for around 30-45 minus and frequently urinating

    what might be the reason

    1. Hey Fifi, there a number of…
      Hey Fifi, there a number of reasons that can lead to pain during or even after sex. One could be an infection in the vagina, the second could be dry sex where penetration happens before the vagina self lubricates and before one is also relaxed for penetration. Sometimes it could be an issue of the sex position that leads to pain and in rare cases one could be allergic to semen which causes the burning the sensation after sex or ejaculation. A good place to begin is to find out what could be causing the pain then find a solution. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/painful-sex-time-to-listen-up

  352. once you are in love with…
    once you are in love with someone you will develop a feeling of having sex and if don’t then it means you have no feelings for him dear

    1. We appreciate your…
      We appreciate your contribution Carolyn.

    1. What can we do for you…

      What can we do for you Kiganda?

  353. Me J fear to make sex
    jam…

    Me J fear to make sex
    jam 2oyrs, j have one girlfriend of18yrs j love her somutch and
    she wants me to break her virginity
    so how can j do it help me

    1. Hey Ronald, first time sex…

      Hey Ronald, first time sex can be exciting or full of anxiety because of the unknowns. It is important that both you and your partner take time to learn as much as you can about sex before deciding to have it. As you learn about sex, the tension and fear of the unknown will be addressed making you alittle more comfortable. Going into it more relaxed will help you both to enjoy the experience and make it special for both of you. As you learn take time to think and plan on how you will prevent both unplanned pregnancies and Sexually Transmitted Infections. You can consider using condoms which will help prevent both, when used correctly. Remember, only have sex if you feel ready to have sex, this is your decision. Check out this article for more tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/virginity/first-time-sex-what-to-expect

  354. hey chris,dont worry much…
    hey chris,dont worry much,you are a boy coz you can erect

    1. Thank you for your input…

      Thank you for your input Sharon. 

  355. HEY Vist someone for advice
    HEY Vist someone for advice

    1. We appreciate your…

      We appreciate your contribution Riziki.

  356. i am 20 and i have never had…
    i am 20 and i have never had sex before

    1. Hey Dark star, the decision…

      Hey Dark star, the decision to have sex is your own and there is nothing wrong with you having not had sex at your age. Before making the decision to have sex you have to think about whether you are ready, whether you are with the right person and how you plan to prevent unplanned pregnancies and Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs). Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/virginity/are-you-really-ready-to-have-sex

  357. Am already break and from…
    Am already break and from that time have never enjoyed sex. The time i try to do sex, it really painful. Please need help.