A pair of mating lions in the evening savannah, Masai Mara, Kenya
Oleg Znamenskiy

Female orgasm: myths busted

By Love Matters July 1, 06:00 am
A woman’s orgasm seems like a difficult subject to grasp. Not only is it confusing for men; even some women have a tough time cracking the O-word.

Myths and urban legends around the taboo topic add to existing misconceptions.

Intercourse is the key to a woman coming

Not really. In fact, some studies suggest that only one-third of women can orgasm through sexual intercourse alone. Most other women need manual or oral stimulation to reach climax. If you’re trying to figure out what works for your partner, communicate with her. Try out different positions and different ways of making love – take your time to know what works best.

She’s ‘frigid’ if she doesn’t climax

There could be different medical or psychological reasons behind a woman not being able to reach an orgasm. Scientists and doctors call this condition ‘anorgasmia’.

If a woman has difficulty coming or simply doesn’t come, it doesn’t mean she’s ‘frigid’, or cold towards you.

It’s the partner’s fault if she can’t orgasm

There might be varied reasons for a woman not being able to reach an orgasm – a position that doesn’t work, an unmatched rhythm during sex, insufficient foreplay, or even anorgasmia. But none of these should point the blame towards the partner.

Her pleasure is also her responsibility. A woman needs to communicate clearly what she likes and dislikes so her partner can cooperate.

No orgasm = bad sex

As strange as it might sound, women also enjoy sex that doesn’t always end in an orgasm. For a lot of women being intimate with their partners and exploring each other’s pleasure areas alone can be very satisfying.

Orgasms are like in the movies

Female orgasms aren’t easy. Not as easy as porn and Hollywood flicks make them appear. Neither do all women have the most earth-shattering experience when they come. Some women have waves of less intense climaxes, for example. So don’t believe actors when it comes to finding out the truth about female orgasms.

Only women fake orgasms

You’re wrong. Men fake orgasms too! That’s right. A quarter of the men surveyed for a recent study at the University of Kansas revealed that they had faked orgasms too.

Women don’t ejaculate

Oh yes, women can ejaculate too! They might ejaculate white, milky fluid that looks a bit like semen or gush out floods of a clearer fluid. Some women get these squirting orgasms from intense penetration – it’s associated with stimulation of the G-spot, a sensitive area on the front wall of the vagina. And there’s also an African love-making technique called Kunyaza that’s supposed to ensure squirting orgasms for women.


Have you heard a rumour about sex and wonder if it's true? Let us know and we'll nail the facts or bust the myths! Leave your comment below or contact us via the discussion board.

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