Valentine, on-call
Alphonce Omondi

Brainwash me. I’m heartbroken.

My girlfriend wants us to part ways for no reason. I can’t stop thinking about her and I love her so much. I want to be brainwashed and forget the past.

The end of the world as you know it

I am so sorry darling. Heartache can feel like the end of the world because frankly, it is the end of our world as we know it. To love someone and find out that they do not feel the same way about you is a version of hell. The good news is that this shall pass. No feeling that we ever have lasts forever, not love, not joy, not anger. And definitely not heartache.

No brainwashing, please

I do not know whether brainwashing is available and I will not check for you because I do not think that it is something you want. Washing your past away would mean washing away vital lessons and parts of yourself. So let us look at more practical solutions…

You are nursing a wound. It is emotional and therefore not as visible as a physical wound, but you are hurting and you should treat yourself gently.

If you had burnt your whole leg, you would be on bed rest, other people would be nursing your wound and everything in your life would be on ‘go-slow’ as you recuperated. Your heart needs the same care.

Hang out with people who love you, people who make you happy and bring you joy. Try and take part in activities that boost your self-esteem. Rejection is painful, especially from those who we love. We imagine that it means there is something wrong with us, but please remember that this is not true. You two were simply mismatched and that does not mean there is anything wrong with either of you.

You will get over this, I promise

Over time I have found that what tortures us the most is what we tell ourselves about situations in life. Your short e-mail sounds powerless as you claim that you cannot stop thinking about her. But the truth is that you can and eventually you will. Remind yourself that you are a caring and loving young man who will make a great boyfriend for the next girl that comes along. It simply did not work out with this girl.


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Recent Comments (6)

  1. Ehe you are better than
    Ehe you are better than others coz there ix xome others whom alwayx separatex xome one & go on getting lve infront of your eyes & needx you 2 c that she has another boyfriend only juxt 2 hurt you my friend xaw xtay strong & think why she separated you

    1. Thanks for your kind words,
      Thanks for your kind words, Partoh!

  2. I just broke up with my guy
    I just broke up with my guy am 19 yrs i loved him but he told me he is seeing another woman whom she had broke up with n has his kid n even planning to bring them back in town i don have any issue with him coz all still move on…after 3rd breakhrt.

  3. op itanihlp overcm it

    op itanihlp overcm it


  4. When a girl doesnt want you…
    When a girl doesnt want you anymore just leave..its the least you can do and that totaly can never be in your control…Learn to move on..but just know you can always start over again.

    1. Thank you for the…
      Thank you for the contribution Collins.

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