Left at the alter but open to forgive
I was in a relationship with my boyfriend for three years. On the day of our wedding, he didn’t show up. I was heartbroken.
But now he wants me back even though he says he doesn’t know why he left me in the first place. Should I forgive him or leave him?
Understand what happened
Ouch! How painful and embarrassing for you and both your families. I can’t tell you what to do. Only you can decide if you are going to forgive him or not. But I can say that in order to forgive people and let them back into our hearts, we typically need to know what happened that made them hurt us.
Was he terrified of getting married? Was he unsure that he wanted to marry you? Did he have a panic or anxiety attack? I think you are hesitant because he has yet to give you a clear answer.
If he doesn’t know why he jilted you, how can he make sure it doesn’t happen again?
Forgiveness is hard
What you have been through is harrowing. It’s a testament to you and your character that you are considering forgiving this man and taking him back. When you love someone and you are ready to commit to them for the rest of your life, your love does not go away because they hurt you. You also do not see him in one dimension as someone who hurt you; instead, you see many things about him which is why you were willing to spend your life with him. You will continue to love him. I suggest that you go for couples counselling and iron out your issues properly.
Take it slowly
Do not involve your families at this point. Just go and get the answers that you need. You might find that while you love him, you do not want to be with him – or that you just can’t forgive him for his mistake. Take your time with this decision and also with healing. Being jilted is devastating.
Would you be able to forgive someone who left you at the altar? Leave a comment below or join the discussion on Love Matters Naija and Love Matters Africa.
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Recent Comments (19)
i can be able 2 forgiv him
i can be able 2 forgiv him but i dn’t tink i can marry him only if i av sum1 else who have made me to regain my happines #Relief
Thanks for your comment, Lady
Thanks for your comment, Lady Empress!
The decision is yours dia coz
The decision is yours dia coz your future is in your hands and b careful coz hz gonna do more than that.wy dd h left u at first?pliz mek a ryt decision b4 ts too late
Hi Tafadzwa,
Hi Tafadzwa,
thank you so much for your comment and your insight.
The decision is yours dia coz
The decision is yours dia coz your future is in your hands and b careful coz hz gonna do more than that.wy dd h left u at first?pliz mek a ryt decision b4 ts too late…just forgive him n decide wats best for your future
I thnk tt u shld forgive him
I thnk tt u shld forgive him b’coz he/she iz not killing u bt makes u stronger.remember tt past iz a foundation of future n we’ve learned from our mistakes.b strong n forgive n forget.
Hi Yonela,
Hi Yonela,
thank you so much for your comment!
I can forgive if he have a
I can forgive if he have a good reason for doing that
Hi Kayode,
Hi Kayode,
thanks for your comment! What would you consider a good reason?
forgive please
forgive please
Hi Dan,
Hi Dan,
would you be able to forgive?
When you take risks you learn
When you take risks you learn that
there will be times when you succeed
and there will be times when you fail,
and both are equally important.
Hi Paul,
Hi Paul,
thanks for your comment. What would you do in a situation like this, if you were affected?
You deserve better
There is…
You deserve better
There is nothing special with people who go and come
It means they got bored with the person they left you for
That was disrespect of the highest order, on you wedding day?
Am sure in 3years you collected yourself and kept going
Dont look back
We appreciate you…
We appreciate you contribution Karina.
That’s tricky, you may…
That’s tricky, you may forgive him but first after explaining the details of your last events. Again sharing your thoughts with your family may not be wise owing to the fact that they were part of your dissapointment
Hi Daville, thank you for…
Hi Daville, thank you for your contribution.
I have learn something to…
I have learn something to you advice
Glad you learnt something…
Glad you learnt something. Keep reading our articles.