• Making Love
• Sex Problems: how to overcome them

My girlfriend is never in the mood

By Getrude Mungai on

‘When I ask for sex from my girlfriend, she keeps saying she doesn’t have the feeling. What will I do? I really want to do it!’

Hi my brother, I am aware how high Mombasa Raha is rated in a relationship for most guys. This is one of those things that make some people to conclude that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Unfortunately – or fortunately, depending on one’s perspective – we are all on earth.

For men, the ultimate display of affection is Mombasa Raha. Meanwhile women often see Mombasa Raha as a byproduct of love. In other words, if everything is working very well in the relationship, women then tend to give Mombasa Raha freely and willingly.

Also, women usually need to feel more than just physical attraction. They must feel loved, appreciated and respected before they can consent to Mombasa Raha. The future should also be well defined and not just ambiguous – otherwise they might feel that you are just using them and then dumping them.

Even when a woman feels secure and loved, most don’t get turned on in an instance like a man. Women are not visual creatures like men, thus your naked body might not have the same effect as some parts of her anatomy might have on you.

In some Asian cultures, a man’s arousal is equated with fire where with a strike of a match they are ready to go. And then, once the fuel is exhausted, the extinguishing is just as immediate. Meanwhile, the woman’s sex drive is equated to water – under fire it takes a while to boil, and when the fire is put out, the water then takes a while to cool down. In Africa, it’s like lighting a charcoal stove (jiko) for women and a gas stove for men.

So remember this general rule: most women need around 20 minutes of foreplay before they are ready for Mombasa Raha.

I can tell that your relationship is suffering from a communication breakdown. Otherwise she would have expressed her specific concerns. Therefore you need to find ways to communicate better if this relationship is to prosper.

Finally, I hope you are not a sprinter as far as Mombasa Raha goes. Keeping her high and dry each time may also explain her reluctance. I also hope you are not too rough during Mombasa Raha. For women lovemaking should mostly be very gentle – although some vigor may be required at times.

Bottom line: please take care of the relationship, communicate better and be considerate while going for Mombasa Raha.

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