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Huge penis, painful sex: what’s the solution?

My boyfriend has a huge penis; it hurts a lot during sex. I hate saying ‘no’ to him every time. Is there a way out? Please help!

I can just see all the gentlemen rushing to read this column. It seems like a problem that usually means neighbours’ envy and owners’ pride.

Large family jewels

So while your boyfriend may be super-proud of his family legacy and heirloom, this is not working out to your advantage at all, is it? People envy large penis sizes and God knows it is the topic of incessant debate, but someone should ask for the user experience as well, right?

Not every experience is a memorable one. The bigger the better works for a TV set. It is not applicable to any body part. The ideal penis size will forever be a contentious discussion.

Opening act

There are four golden rules for a size that’s too big. To begin with, focus more on the foreplay. You may want to begin with relaxing and putting your stress away as you get some mood lighting and aromatherapy started. He has to make his act better and focus on what all he needs to do with you during foreplay.

All you need is a lot of love, patience, and just the two of you being super relaxed. No room for quickies, just yet. Enjoy what you are doing and feeling and don’t let the pressure of penetration get to either of you. Does that sound okay?

For the love of lube

Condoms and any water-based lubricants are your best friends here. The market is quite open to these now. Condoms or lubricants are quite common things to buy so let it not hamper your shopping style.

Lubes and condoms help in making penetration somewhat pain-free. It also means that both of you need to be relaxed and in no hurry.

You, lady, should not freak out every time. Often, women get terrified of penetration, size, pregnancy, and guilt. This fear involuntarily contracts the muscles of the vagina causing it to tighten up so much that penetration becomes even more difficult and thus more painful.

Perfect positions

Another thing to keep in mind is trying out new positions that facilitate excitement and entry. Check them out on a reliable website or find some books on the issue. Believe me, there are some books in the market specifically for issues of penis size and sex positions. See if they work for you and if you can practise them.

Always remember, sex is better when you are more relaxed and comfortable with each other. The most crucial part here is that you talk and communicate with ease and friendliness. Don’t yell, ‘Get that beast out of me!’ You may leave him feeling confused. He can’t cut it off to suit Her Highness, can he?

Package deal

Now for the man who is well hung. He is the boss in his circle but he feels like a peanut because his girl runs a mile every time he shows off his wares. That’s a conundrum if there ever is one.

This seems very funny now. What a problem! Throw in some benefits like your sweet temperament, loving attitude, and naughty sex talks. Remember sex is pleasurable and fun only when the two of you are talking through the process and working it through. It is not like prepping for an exam and predicting failure!
 

Do you also have concerns about your penis size? Write your comments on our discussion forum or get in touch via Facebook. You can find us at Love Matters Kenya and Love Matters Naija.

Tell us what you think

Recent Comments (51)

  1. I ejaculate too fast, whats
    I ejaculate too fast, whats the problem

  2. Wah! This is a hard one. I am
    Wah! This is a hard one. I am not one to say the bigger the better. Read through the post and it sounds like something that would help. I can only pity girls and women going through such pain instead of pleasure. Worst is if the man is selfish and only cares about their sexual needs.

    1. Thanks for sharing your
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts and input.

  3. All this need is alot love
    All this need is alot love patience

    1. Thanks for your input Otim.
      Thanks for your input Otim.

  4. Think this girl should seek
    Think this girl should seek medical check up she seems to have internal problems

    1. What kind of problems do you
      What kind of problems do you think she might have Calvin? Kindly share more.

      1. Women experiencing the pain…
        Women experiencing the pain might be having cervicitis, so she should seek medical advice

        1. Thank you for sharing that…

          Thank you for sharing that very informative advice, Nancy! Much appreciated! Cervicitis is inflammation of the cervix — the lower end of the uterus that opens into the vagina. Cervicitis is common. It may be caused by a number of factors, including infections, chemical or physical irritations, and allergies. Ladies, it is always good to get medical advice if you feel pain and discomfort during sexual intercourse. Nancy thank you once again! Have a wonderful week ahead and stay safe.

  5. Thanx, suffering the same,
    Thanx, suffering the same, not because he’s too big, but because I am too small. We do a lot of foreplay, BT lav never felt the pleasure and it’s sickenning

    1. Hi Rembo, have you tried
      Hi Rembo, have you tried using a lot of lubrication to help ease the sex. It would be nice to also talk to him about it, before during and even after sex to find ways to help you experience pleasure.

  6. it depends on how you and
    it depends on how you and your patner practise the sex positions..

    1. Thanks for your input Mlaz.
      Thanks for your input Mlaz.

  7. He is look for me if he want
    He is look for me if he want to kiss

    1. Who are you referring to Cec?
      Who are you referring to Cec?

  8. I have the same problem and
    I have the same problem and it takes 3 days to heal. I wish I can enlarge my vagina

    1. Hi Jowie have you tried using
      Hi Jowie have you tried using lubricants?

  9. i normally lyk squeezy
    i normally lyk squeezy vagina

    1. Thanks for sharing that with
      Thanks for sharing that with us Edwin.

    1. Why do you think so Chen?
      Why do you think so Chen?

  10. oh i need some help ok how
    oh i need some help ok how can i be sexually aroused coz am not that type of easily aroused

  11. I have 8cm penis,who can
    I have 8cm penis,who can accept this?

  12. how have you helped the lady
    how have you helped the lady who says her man has a huge thing?

    1. Yes we have Winnie. Check out
      Yes we have Winnie. Check out the article above to find out the response.

  13. Same problem.takes 3days
    Same problem.takes 3days after sex to heal.i guess am too small.

    1. Hi Shiq

      Hi Shiq

      Does this happen every time. Have you considered use of lubricants?

  14. smal penis about 8cm wen
    smal penis about 8cm wen erect nd a smal girth xo nid yo help

  15. I always feel so much pain
    I always feel so much pain when ever am making love, to a point of wishing he cld take the shortest time to get over me or at times I wld go to bed late after he has slept and I wld wake up early before he is awake… Again whenever he gets up to me and we have to do it, I feel so empty and used up. Kindly help me out of this

  16. Sex is all about…
    Sex is all about understanding each other

    1. We agree Malika, thank you…
      We agree Malika, thank you for your contribution.

  17. Hi My penis is too small and…
    Hi My penis is too small and my wife keeps complaining what can I do to make it big? Help me please guys!!!

    1. Hi Kelvin, you can do a lot…
      Hi Kelvin, you can do a lot to get your partner to enjoy sex and even orgasm the size of your penis not with standing. Most women won’t orgasm from intercourse only, one would need to give attention to the clitoris which is one of the most sensitive parts to get their partner to orgasm. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/making-love/orgasms/her-orgasms

  18. I also have the same issue…
    I also have the same issue with my boyfriend,d pain is always much tho

    1. Glad you like the article. 

      Glad you like the article. 

  19. To me i don’t have any…
    To me i don’t have any feelings when it comes to sex pliz help

  20. I feel serious pains during…
    I feel serious pains during and after sex.please what could be the cause and solution.i also don’t experience orgasm.

    1. Hello Precious , thank you…

      Hello Precious , thank you for reaching out to us. Since this is a medical issue we strongly advise you to see a medical professional for a comprehensive diagnosis. 
      Here is a list of health institutions that should be of help
      https://lovemattersafrica.com/get-help/clinics  

  21. My wire is somehow small and…
    My wire is somehow small and short, I want it preferably medium and longer . What should I do to make it suit the jobs available?

  22. I have a question, ” what…
    I have a question, ” what can one if he always experiences the problem of releasing when he is still putting a lover in moods

  23. Hello Isaac, thank you for…

    Hello Isaac, thank you for getting in touch, unfortunately I haven’t properly understood your statement, could you explain yourself a little better so that I am able to be in a better position to assist you?

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