Dry sex: women at pains to please
Deb Shooter

Dry sex: women at pains to please

A dry vagina is seen as a disaster for many, and it also increases the chances of getting infected with sexually transmitted diseases.

Yet women across the world will run serious risks to avoid getting wet, ‘Dry sex’ feels best, they claim – for the man at least.

To keep the vagina dry, women insert herbs, absorbent materials like paper, chemical cleaning agents, antiseptics, or even toothpaste. A dry vagina is supposed to feel better for the man during intercourse. Men say they like the friction, heat, and swollen tightness.

But ‘dry sex’ also carries serious health risks, says Dr Tinde van Andel, a Dutch expert and co-author of the paper Dry sex in Suriname. ‘It can lead to cuts and inflammation in the vagina and it suppresses the natural bacteria. All of which increases the likelihood of infection with sexually transmitted diseases, including Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV),’ warns Dr van Andel.

Feel bigger

Dry sex is popular all over Africa – though it depends on ethnic background, and there are some notable exceptions. In Indonesia too, a wet vagina is frowned upon. Dryness is also favoured in parts of South America and the Caribbean, says Dr van Andel, who is a specialist in the medicinal plants of Suriname.

The vagina-drying herbs women use often contain tannins, which give the sensation of dryness and tightening – like the dry feeling in the mouth from strong tea or red wine. Other plants contain irritating chemicals that make the vagina swell and become tight, so the man’s penis feels ‘bigger’.

Sleeping around

So what’s in it for women? Apart from the increased risk of infection, mostly just discomfort and pain during sex, says Dr Van Andel.

They keep doing it because they think that otherwise, their man will look for another girlfriend, she says. And both men and women often see vaginal discharge as being unhealthy and a sign that a woman has been sleeping around.

Dependent

So what’s Tinde van Andel’s advice to women whose partners want ‘dry sex’? ‘Say no, of course!’ But it’s easy for her to say, she adds.

‘Women who live in countries where dry sex practices are common have probably been taught from an early age that washing the vagina with plenty of soap and drying agents is essential for a woman to keep her husband faithful and happy. Many are dependent on their husbands or boyfriends so they’re in no position to tell them what they want.’


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Recent Comments (113)

  1. dry vagina sucks

    dry vagina sucks
    the wet one is the best

    1. Thanks Charles, for not
      Thanks Charles, for not making women hurt!

    1. Hi Jackson, we would like to
      Hi Jackson, we would like to hear more about it. How come it is better dry? Does it feel tighter?

  2. you as a man you can feel
    you as a man you can feel better but vice versa to the other party.

    1. Hi Martin, are you saying
      Hi Martin, are you saying women with a dry vagina are able to feel more, the more dry it is?

  3. So painful even after sex. it
    So painful even after sex. it leaves your vagina with irritating wounds. i like wet.

    1. Hi Fridah, wet is certainly
      Hi Fridah, wet is certainly less painful, both in the heat of the moment, and once the heat is gone :-). Thanks for your comment

  4. Dry

    Dry
    sex is so painful n meks no enjoyment coz the woman wil b feeling pain
    eventho the man wil b enjoying so best sex is the one that everyone
    enjoys

    1. Very true Nyokabi, very true!
      Very true Nyokabi, very true!

      1. very true wetter is good
        very true wetter is good

  5. like wet coz it wil not leave
    like wet coz it wil not leave aman with bruises

    1. Thanks for your comment,
      Thanks for your comment, Robin.

  6. dry sex is painful for women
    dry sex is painful for women and the pain can stay for long making you uncomfortable

    1. Hi Brenda, thanks for your
      Hi Brenda, thanks for your comment. Do you have any experience with dry sex?

  7. You can’t speak for all men,
    You can’t speak for all men, we’re different,Why would I want dry sex? I love it wet….

    1. Hi Papa, of course we are not
      Hi Papa, of course we are not generalizing all men. But it’s good to hear that you like it wet.

    1. Hi John, thanks for your
      Hi John, thanks for your comment.

  8. i like it when very wet
    i like it when very wet always

    1. Hi John, great, no pains for
      Hi John, great, no pains for your lady!

    1. Hi Peter, the ladies will be
      Hi Peter, the ladies will be thankful for that!

  9. while wet,its enjoyable n no
    while wet,its enjoyable n no pain; even though men like when the chic is crying;

    1. Hi Nix, ouch, let’s hope not
      Hi Nix, ouch, let’s hope not all men are like that!

  10. it is painful but u still
    it is painful but u still feel that thing nycely

    1. Hi Cherish, it’s interesting
      Hi Cherish, it’s interesting that you say that- so how much pain is okay, and when is it too much?

    2. Hi Cherish, it’s interesting
      Hi Cherish, it’s interesting that you say that- so how much pain is okay, and when is it too much?

  11. 4 all most things eg.digetion
    4 all most things eg.digetion,excreation,body movement esp. in joints,even talkng and machenes 2 work well and last longer healthy there must be lubricant,so we cant dry up da natural lubricant coz ashorten term pleasure and riskn of life..

    1. Hi Willy, you are right-
      Hi Willy, you are right- lubricant makes your life run smoother. Literally.

  12. thank u i have learned alot
    thank u i have learned alot keep on advising.njoki

    1. Hi Njoki, we will do our very
      Hi Njoki, we will do our very best!

  13. does it mean that dry sex is
    does it mean that dry sex is all painful for womens only

    1. Hi Dan, no, it can also be
      Hi Dan, no, it can also be painful for men. If the vagina is very dry, there is more skin-to-skin friction, which can cause a burning sensation on the penis.

  14. I dnt knw anything abt sex
    I dnt knw anything abt sex

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      That’s okay! Is there anything you would like to ask?

    1. Hi Mumbua,

      Hi Mumbua,
      That’s good to hear!
      Thanks for your comment.

    1. Hi Laizer,

      Hi Laizer,
      we are glad to hear that you think this way!

  15. Sex must be enjoyable to both
    Sex must be enjoyable to both partners so I prefer wet

    1. Very well said, Sue!
      Very well said, Sue! Absolutely, sex should be enjoyable for both partner. There is nothing enjoyable about one person cringing in pain.

  16. Sex must be enjoyable to both
    Sex must be enjoyable to both partners so I prefer wet

    1. We couldn’t agree more, Sue!
      We couldn’t agree more, Sue!

  17. wet is total nice has
    wet is total nice has everybody enjoy

    1. That’s great, Patrick, it
      That’s great, Patrick, it will save the ladies a lot of pain!

  18. As i have learn i think wet
    As i have learn i think wet is gooder yeh.

    1. We are glad to hear that,
      We are glad to hear that, Fillie!

  19. Wats de diffrnce btwn Wet n
    Wats de diffrnce btwn Wet n dry vrgnr? I dnt knw anifng abt sex

    1. Hi Coolcat,

      Hi Coolcat,
      when a woman is aroused, her vagina will become wet. That makes it easier and painfree for the penis to enter. If she is not aroused, the vagina is dry. And then it will be quite painful for the penis to enter. So as far as we are concern, wetter is better!

  20. I prepare wet coz i like my
    I prepare wet coz i like my partner to feel nice and experience pleasure.

    1. We are so happy to hear this,
      We are so happy to hear this, Sirajo!

  21. i prefer t wet.We all want to
    i prefer t wet.We all want to enjoy

    1. Thanks so much for saying
      Thanks so much for saying that, Qurry!

  22. wet its fine cuz no one gets
    wet its fine cuz no one gets hurt we all enjoy it dat hw it should b.

    1. Very true! We wish everyone
      Very true! We wish everyone would see it this way!

  23. Mine last 4 a whole week Is
    Mine last 4 a whole week Is it because its too dry

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      what lasts for a whole week?

  24. its painful and not enjoyable
    its painful and not enjoyable

    1. Hi Carina,

      Hi Carina,
      you are absolutely right!

  25. I experience dry sex,what can
    I experience dry sex,what can I do to add into wetness coz even with the saliva it still hurts

    1. Hi Maria,

      Hi Maria,
      first of all, make sure your partner pays lots of attention to your clitoris? That way, you might get more aroused and wet. In the meantime, you can buy some lubricant, they are available at most supermarkets. They are better than saliva. Make sure they are water-based though, especially if you use condoms!

    2. You need just to have time
      You need just to have time with you partner ful feelings

  26. Hi? Sh’d i quit it wen i becm
    Hi? Sh’d i quit it wen i becm dry? Wot sh’d i do to enjoy it maximumly wthout gtng dry??

    1. Hi Dorie,

      Hi Dorie,
      you can buy some lubricant from the chemist, and use that once you feel you are getting a bit dry.

  27. i usualy get afraid whn i get
    i usualy get afraid whn i get to know ma partner and i ar going 2 hv sex,y..coz of da pain i had b4…hv just decided 2 stop sex

    1. Joy,

      Joy,
      I am sorry to hear that you experiencing pain during sex. Sex is supposed to be a wonderful fun experience and be pleasing, not hurt. For women the pain can come down to two things, being relaxed and lubrication.

      Your body needs to receive someone else and stretch to fit them. You need to be in the mood, turned on and relaxed. Sometimes just taking more time kissing and foreplay will do a lot for your body. You need to be excited. Take time caressing each other, touching each other bodies and genitals, maybe even do oral sex on each other. Then you will be more likely to have pain free sex!

      We do not always have the time for to work ourselves up and have not self lubricated enough and then using lubrication can help a lot for sex. 

  28. I have neva tried it. Thanks
    I have neva tried it. Thanks guys I have learned alot frm u

    1. We don’t really want you to
      We don’t really want you to try dry sex…

  29. for me both wet and dry feels
    for me both wet and dry feels good all I want is to satisfy my partner, I don’t want her to feel any pains rather enjoyment. so she should be just natural.

    1. That’s great, Barup.
      That’s great, Barup.

  30. I stay for some time without
    I stay for some time without sex because my husband works far from me.when he is around and we have sex I experience pain.what could the problem be?

    1. Couse you are not use too it.
      Couse you are not use too it…..

      1. Thanks for the input.
        Thanks for the input.

  31. Dry sex is unhealthy as said.
    Dry sex is unhealthy as said….. Although too much wet also is not enjoyable….. I like it wet but medium…. And my wife we have taught each other a lot….. Our sex is improving day by day I resently made her squirt and she loved it…. The adrenaline was out ov these world

    1. Thank you for sharing your
      Thank you for sharing your experience with us Brian.

  32. After my wife reach orgasms,
    After my wife reach orgasms, she gets totally dry and tired so she can’t go for second round,because when i force her she feel pain and the next day She start notice some blisters so this make her not to satisfy me on bed. What can we do about this?

    1. Hi Erick, have you tried to
      Hi Erick, have you tried to use more foreplay to get her back in the mood? You could also use artificial lubricants to reduce the friction.

  33. i do have sex with my
    i do have sex with my girlfriend but she is alwaya too wet , what do i do cos its no fun when she is too slippery

    1. Hi Penz, you could always try
      Hi Penz, you could always try wipe some off the wetness off.

  34. dry sex is sweet buh it has
    dry sex is sweet buh it has it own repercussions as the doctor said.

    1. Thanks for your input.
      Thanks for your input.

  35. Since I gave birth to my son,
    Since I gave birth to my son, I find it difficult to reach my orgasm.its almost five years now. I gave birth through CS. What could be the problem

    1. Apart from delivering your
      Apart from delivering your child, what else do you think has changed from how your sex life used to be?

      1. Nothing much. Other than
        Nothing much. Other than gaining a few extra kgs

  36. when the girl goes dry,,is it
    when the girl goes dry,,is it because she sleeps with so many men around?

    1. No Ogada, a woman goes dry
      No Ogada, a woman goes dry because they are no longer interested or are already satisfied with sex.

  37. I’m afraid of feeling the
    I’m afraid of feeling the wetness of a guy wheneva he is abt to ejaculata I do pull out poa help

    1. Hey, Emilly, Have you
      Hey, Emilly, Have you considered using a condom?

  38. i don usualy enjoy sex,,or
    i don usualy enjoy sex,,or neitha bkam wet,,n bkam so tired afta the first roud,,wat could b the problem

    1. Hi Wairimu,

      Hi Wairimu,

      What is it about sex that you do not enjoy about sex? have you talked to your partner about it?

      Have you taught your partner about what you enjoy? Think about this questions and once you are able to answer them you might be able to deal with the issue and enjoy your sex life.

  39. Whenever i had sex with my
    Whenever i had sex with my girlfrend, she feel pain. what could be the problem?

  40. Atimes during sex wt my
    Atimes during sex wt my prtner i use to take more than 1hour b4 i release nd my prtner use to release 4tyms b4 i do 1 what’s my prblm

    1. Hi,

      Hi,

      There is no problem. Most men would actually consider it a blessing. Keep enjoying sex.

  41. Hey I have beening having sex
    Hey I have beening having sex with my girlfriend for a year now and while we having sex their is this smell which start to smell please I need some professional advice

    1. Hi Hakim,

      Hi Hakim,

      Every lady has a natural scent, if you have been smelling the same thing on her for a year it means that is her natural scent and that is normal to have.

  42. Better wet vagina. its tamu…
    Better wet vagina. its tamu sana

  43. I hate dry sex not enjoyable…
    I hate dry sex not enjoyable wet is the best

    1. Yes, wetness is key to…

      Yes, wetness is key to enjoyable sex!

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