Bored in bed
My boyfriend seems to be bored when we are in bed. Sometimes he doesn’t satisfy me. What may be the problem?
Well, he could be failing in school and so terrified of telling his parents that he is contemplating suicide. He could be fantasising about marrying you and the amazing life you will build together. Sure, he might be bored. But he could also just be hungry. Or he might be wondering why he does not perform like a porn star.
Honey, I have no idea. You are asking the wrong person. You should be having this conversation with that bored/boring man that you are in bed with. That said, I recognise that if you knew how to, you would. So here are my suggestions:
Talking about it…
The next time you are out to lunch or dinner or walking somewhere, mention that he seems far away when you are in bed together and ask him what’s on his mind. Like most men, he will say nothing. You can then ask if he is happy with your sex life, or if there are things that he would like you to try together.
Do not be surprised if he says that the sex if fine but then starts talking about what is truly bothering him. Chances are, it has nothing to do with you.
What is about you is the fact that you are dissatisfied with your sex life. Do you want him to touch you in a certain way? Then just guide his hands and show him how. Do you want him to kiss you in a particular way or place? Again guide him physically instead of having a conversation.
You owe me 😉
If however, you want him to last longer so that you can reach your orgasm; I think you are going to have to say something. You can use humour. The next time he orgasms too quickly, punch him gently on the shoulder and tell him he owes you an orgasm. It lets him know that you are unsatisfied and that he can fix it, without you having to go into details. As you begin your next round of sex, you can say, ‘my turn’ to remind him that this one is all about you and your pleasure.
Have you fought and won a battle against boredom in bed? Leave a comment below or join the discussion on Love Matters Kenya or Naija on Facebook.
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Recent Comments (63)
Wow such a great wisdom in
Wow such a great wisdom in bed. I got a qstn n i would really be humbled if u answere me.
How do i get to know that my chiq is having an orgasm while on action or wether or not she had one?
Steve,
Steve,
ah, we get this one quite a lot.
Watch her body language, she will tense when she is having an orgasm. She might moan or try to catch deep breaths as well.
But the easiest of all- ask her if she had one.
By the way, most women will orgasm most easily if their clitoris is stimulated; the in-and-out movement of intercourse alone won’t do it.
I just fall asleep after, of
I just fall asleep after, of which I know it happens to many, is there anything I can do to reduce sleep after sex.
Hi Peter,
Hi Peter,
particularly for men, that’s very normal.
You can try to go against it by staying active- keep kissing, and cuddling, and paying lots of attention to your partner.
I just fall asleep after, of
I just fall asleep after, of which I know it happens to many, is there anything I can do to reduce sleep after sex.
be hu u r
be hu u r
Thanks for your comment.
Thanks for your comment.
my wife doe’s not talk about
my wife doe’s not talk about sex a tall tall n when i ask for it he refuse or just gave jst like for sake….what could be the problem am confused!??? This have changed my perfomance such that i ejeculate immeditily after i enter. what can i do?
Franva,
Franva,
sex is about communication. And you and your wife need to learn how to talk about it together.
Ask her if she is satisfied (maybe that’s why she doesn’t like it), and what she would like to do in bed.
She needs to start talking, but you need to be a good listener as well.
What about if she is shy to
What about if she is shy to express her needs
Zaka,
Zaka,
sex is about communication as much as it is about the sexual act itself.
If you can take your clothes off in front of someone, you should also be able to discuss what you are about to do.
My wife always want us to use
My wife always want us to use vasiline(oil) when having sex. Doe’s using it affect sex perfomance plez, coz i fill like it does somehow.
Kushka,
Kushka,
she most likely wants this, because she is not wet enough, and intercourse causes pain.
I hope you are not using condoms, because they could break due to the oil. But it certainly won’t affect your performance.
If you are using condoms, you might want to switch to lubricant that’s condom-safe (chemists, supermarkets).
Hw r u goin to see tht ur gal
Hw r u goin to see tht ur gal nw she reach organ
Sorry Rendy, not quite sure
Sorry Rendy, not quite sure we understand your question?
I Want U Gaiz To Help Me Find
I Want U Gaiz To Help Me Find A Good Truly Gal
Sorry Douglas, we only
Sorry Douglas, we only provide information on sex, love and relationships. But check out our tips, you might find something that helps you there.
YAP I ALSO HAD SUCH PROBLEM
YAP I ALSO HAD SUCH PROBLEM WITH MA CHICK BUT SHE ONE DAY SPILL THE BEANS AND TOLD ME THAT SHE WILL DESERT ME IF I DID NOT PULL UP MA SOCK I MEAN STAYING LONG ENOUGH IN BED NOWDAYS ANAPIGA NDURU YA UKWELI ROUND ONE 2 NA FUCK TO DEHYDRETION POINT
Good for her!
Good for her!
my wife seems Nt to be
my wife seems Nt to be enjoying varieties of sex positions what can I do …since am beginning to loose interest in bed ..
Khalid,
Khalid,
talk to her about it. Ask her what she enjoys in bed, and if she is, in fact, satisfied.
Sex is about communication as much as it is about the actual act, and you and your wife need to learn how to talk to each other, and to find things to do in bed you both enjoy!
I am so suprised of my self
I am so suprised of my self please help me..I was so active in be sometimes back but nowadayz I dont love sex.I just do it just because he wants it but I do it not more than 10 mins.even if I try to put my mind on sex I stil dont like it.pliz what could be the problem?
Gladys,
Gladys,
do you get satisfied when you have sex? Is there something you are missing?
I dont miss anything even am
I dont miss anything even am forced to tell to stop on the process coz I even dont enjoy
Maybe you should take a break
Maybe you should take a break from sex for a while?
My girlfriend does not like
My girlfriend does not like fowl play close to her mainframe. Somtyms wen we want to mak love, she is nt wet bt prefere me to only kiss nd romance bt never close dr. What culd b d cause ? I rili want her to hav clitoral organism. I talkd her nd she said its notin
Johnny,
Johnny,
people have different sex drives, so just because you are ready doesn’t mean she is.
Regarding her letting you touch her genitals, she is probably embarrassed or uncomfortable in some other way. Be very, very gentle, and take it one step at a time.
thx 4 de info, i lyk.
thx 4 de info, i lyk.
That’s great, Essie.
That’s great, Essie.
mah wife normally cries a lot
mah wife normally cries a lot whenever we have sex, this started recently but i asked the problem she complains of pain, then I asked her to see the doctor, daktar says theres no complication, i suppose divorce
Ballan,
Ballan,
you are considering divorce because she is in pain??? I don’t even know what to say to that.
Just because the doctor says he can’t find anything doesn’t mean she doesn’t have pain.
Are you arousing her? Are you making sure she is wet enough? Are you gentle enough?
Sex is about communication. It’s about equal pleasure. And it’s YOUR responsibility as a husband to make sure your wife is comfortable.
I have problems reaching my
I have problems reaching my orgasm because all chics i sleep with complain that my penis is too big and ask me to stop.how can i deal with this??
Hi Kim,
Hi Kim,
try experimenting with different positions and see if there is one that works for you and your partner. For example, if she is on top, she can control how much she will let you penetrate. You can also try extra lubricant, that might make things more comfortable for her.
In which way can smeone take
In which way can smeone take long time while doing sex?
Sorry Richie, we are not
Sorry Richie, we are not quite sure what you are asking- do you mean what are the causes for someone to take a long time to orgasm? Man or woman?
Of late,am so weak on bed and
Of late,am so weak on bed and at times am strong.What might be the problem?or is there any disease thats associated with this weakness??
Hi Ojwang,
Hi Ojwang,
can you tell us a bit more about this weakness?
Is anything else wrong with you? Are you sick or on medication?
My girlfrnd behaves weird for
My girlfrnd behaves weird for late,after we did sex she told she loved me alot but she started being silent on me wen i text,she aint replying,what might be the problem?
Sorry dear, we have no idea
Sorry dear, we have no idea what the problem could be.
Your best bet is to ask her about it, gently- she will be the only one able to tell you what’s going on.
wat can I do to have my chiq
wat can I do to have my chiq orgasm?
Hi Adrian,
Hi Adrian,
most women have trouble having an orgasm from the in-and-out movement of intercourse.
so you will need to pay attention to the clitoris- you can do that during sex, but also during foreplay, with using your hands, fingers, mouth or tongue.
how to cop with pemature
how to cop with pemature ejaculation.
Hi Luiz,
Hi Luiz,
have a look at this article:
http://lovematters.co.ke/news/i-come-too-soon
if you have a small penis
if you have a small penis would you be able to satisfy your woman when you marry
Absolutely, Njenga. And just
Absolutely, Njenga. And just so you know, you probably don’t have a small penis, you just think you do!
A lot of a woman’s satisfaction has nothing to do with penis size.
Most women can’t orgasm from intercourse alone anyway, they need their clitoris stimulated.
i av a problem…nower daiz i
i av a problem…nower daiz i juz ejaculate b4 intercose help mie pliz…mai wf usualiy does not shw love to mie he juz give mie sex for the sake only bt she iz not happey …it has realiy affected mai performance
Jangle,
Jangle,
you need to talk to your wife.
Sex is about communication as much as it is about the actual act. And it seems you and your wife have work to do!
Sex is about both your pleasure, so you need to find ways to make it enjoyable for her, too.
And that might change your problem, as well.
am 22yrs and I masturbate
am 22yrs and I masturbate alot is it harmful??? how can I quit pliz help
Hi Magua,
Hi Magua,
masturbation is a normal part of a healthy sex life. It’s okay, and not harmful, to masturbate daily.
If you do want to cut down, do it slowly- don’t try to stop all at once, but gradually cut down the amount of times you do masturbate.
av never had sex at 23yrs do
av never had sex at 23yrs do u think am okay my friends even think am gay
Hi Mark,
Hi Mark,
of course you are okay! Don’t listen to other people!
You will have sex once you are with someone you want to have sex with and once you feel ready. Don’t worry too much about it, it’s totally okay.
When using a condom i take
When using a condom i take too long to enjuculate unlike wen ni nyama kwa nyama.wot is the rson behind this.???
Hi Hazz,
Hi Hazz,
condoms can reduce your sensation and make it more difficult to ejaculate.
Try using extra thin ones, or latex free ones, and use some extra lube.
Sometimes i just go one round
Sometimes i just go one round n my pennis goes off is this a health problem or what?
Hello Peter,
Hello Peter,
This is completely normal for men to have what is called a refractory period, where it cannot get hard after ejaculation. Honestly, your body is just telling you that it needs some time. There is no real way to change it or make it happen less, so just try to work with your body. If you are really hoping to have more sex, then take the time to recharge and focus on your partner. This is a good time to focus on them and give them pleasure. You will become hard again in no time and continue.
I am 22yrs however am
I am 22yrs however am attracted to women who are around 35yr who have big boobs ,,I really dont like small galz do u think its an abnormality
Hi James,
Hi James,
no, it’s not abnormal. Everybody has a certain type, and you happen to like older women with big breasts. Nothing wrong with that!
Av a problem wen having sex
Av a problem wen having sex with my guy,do feel so painful after sometym what myte be the problem
After sometime could mean
After sometime could mean your vagina is getting dry, have you noticed something like this?
Is there medicine for
Is there medicine for premature ejaculation? If there is plz help am losing my wife
Have a look here, Patric:
Have a look here, Patric: https://lovematters.co.ke/news/how-overcome-premature-ejaculation
Is there medicine for
Is there medicine for premature ejaculation? If there is plz help am losing my wife
https://lovematters.co.ke
https://lovematters.co.ke/news/how-overcome-premature-ejaculation