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Alphonce Omondi

When should a man orgasm?

By Valentine Njoroge September 23, 08:01 pm
I want to know the best style and formulae to make your lady enjoy sex. How long should a man take to finish? How will you know that she is satisfied?

You are looking for the one position that works for all women? Oh, if only I knew that, I would be answering your question from my cliff-front villa overlooking the ocean. And when I deigned to drive, it would be a red BMW X6.

Practice makes perfect

You are looking for a fixed response like 'man on top', do this for 10 minutes, and when she screams ‘Oh Jesus!’ three times, you’re done.

Sorry, but women are complex and fascinating creatures. There is no position that 'fits all' for orgasm. What would be the fun in that? No, sex was created so that you actually have to talk to your partner and find out what she likes. Some women respond very well to oral sex, others to fingering, yet others to intercourse, and yet others have still never had an orgasm from intercourse alone.

To complicate things further, our bodies respond differently at different times of the month.

Finding those zones

What you can do is find your woman’s clitoris and get well acquainted with it. It is a small button located where the inner lips of her vulva meet. Does it respond to touch or gentle strokes of the tongue?

What are your partner’s erogenous zones? There are the obvious ones like her breasts. But what about hidden ones like the back of her knees, her stomach, inner thighs, or a specific ear that is shockingly sensitive? You will only find these parts by taking your time, not by racing to orgasm.

Try different positions after about 20 minutes of foreplay, and then see what your partner responds to best.

And regarding when a man should finish: How about a man should never ejaculate until his partner has had an orgasm?


Do you have your own golden rule to when a man should have an orgasm? Comment below or join the discussion on Love Matters Naija and Kenya.

Did you learn something new?

Hi thanx for the info.....I think that first women should speak up and say what they want instead of leaving it up to the men to figure out what makes you tick in bed. Most men know want they want unlike most women who have no clue of the best way of getting the sssooo elusive big O'. First know yourself then show whoever your with what you like or don't like...
Hi Kevin, thanks for your comment. One thing that could help: asking her! Some women are shy when it comes to voicing their needs, and some simply don't think they have the right to ask. The fact is, it's easier for men to orgasm than for women. And secondly, because many people are told masturbation is bad and unhealthy, they don't really know what turns them on. So, next time you find yourself in bed with a woman who doesn't know what she wants, go on a treasure and make her realize what she wants. She will be very happy with you, trust me :-)!
Hi Thomas, my favorite question. Masturbation causes happiness, relaxation and satisfaction. And I am not joking. There is no scientific evidence that masturbation is harmful or has any negative side-effects. Read more here: http://lovematters.co.ke/news/masturbation-top-five-facts-part-1
I normaly musturbate and when i want to have sex with a woman i just cant satsify her or i get bored easly. is this one of the negative effect?
Hi Nixon, it can be true that through masturbation, you get so used to your own ways that sex can be irritating or even boring. It's up to you to make it more interesting than masturbation. Make sex about being with your partner and indulging in things and moves you can't do on your own. Try it and let us know how it works!
Hello Annita, I am sorry to hear that you experiencing pain during sex. Sex is supposed to be a wonderful fun experience and be pleasing, not hurt. For women the pain can come down to two things, being relaxed and lubrication. Your body needs to receive someone else and stretch to fit them. You need to be in the mood, turned on and relaxed. Sometimes just taking more time kissing and foreplay will do a lot for your body. You need to be excited. Take time caressing each other, touching each other bodies and genitals, maybe even do oral sex on each other. Then you will be more likely to have pain free sex! We do not always have the time for to work ourselves up and have not self lubricated enough and then using lubrication can help a lot for sex.  Check out: https://lovematters.co.ke/resource/wetter-better
Hi Annita! I know it hurt a lot not only to you but also to a man who is playing sex with you because sex are suppose to be played without such pain unless you're vagin if whig you are not. Now let consider the fact that each of you play sex in HURRY coze of pain as a result. But all or every bodies that play sex normally they first romance themselves for a safer penetration; and whenever one want sex between at least romance yourself to avoid being hurt or feeling catode pain after sex. The question is why is it romancing encourage before sex? This is because to make easy penetration during intercourse and in the process of romancing their is fluids that normally come from the vulv of a ladies and even side of a man this fluid make one enjoy sex without pain at the end. Qtn 2 How do I know that my Lady is ready for sex? At point a man have to put his finger there to find out if their is fluid which show that the woman is now ready for sex but if not one should be patient not to be in hurry.
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