Okay, okay, maybe not as many people have thought of a sex bucket list or even pictured it as a priority, but guys, if a pandemic hasn’t made you rank pleasure more highly then there is still work to be done!
When we look back on our lives, we can’t help but idolise the moments that gave us the most amount of pleasure. It is the primary way we determine whether or not an experience was fulfilling.
Before you start feeling achievement pressure let me assure you that it’s possible to actively and consciously work on amplifying joyful moments through little pockets of delight. And I don’t have to convince you how delightful orgasms are!
Before I tell you what you can include on your sex bucket list, let’s first talk about how to make one.
Making a sex bucket list
- Know your body - The first step to everything from self-pleasuring to Kegels for pelvic health is exploring your body. It’s easier to know what you want from a sexual experience or partner when you know what turns you on.
- Think about what you want - focus on what you were doing or what was being done to you when your pleasure was at its peak, and then build from there. Was it in an unlikely place? Was there role-play involved? A little dirty talk? All these things will be the building blocks to your list.
- Address your anxieties - inevitably you may find yourself shying away from certain things you want. This is normal, and is just how we’ve been socialised to respond to non-reproductive sex. Try and push through these inhibitions and remember whatever you choose to do in your figurative bedroom is your business. Treat it as a sanctuary, a safe space.
Things to consider for your bucket list
- Edging - this involves repeated stimulation to the point, or edge, of orgasm, then stopping or slowing down. This cycle could lead to a very intense climax. Edging is great for increasing intimacy because it takes the focus away from the orgasm itself - it is pleasure for pleasure's sake.
- Kink and BDSM- 'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but chains and whips excite me!' Rihanna wasn’t wrong but not all kink is for everybody. Start mild with a blindfold, or use a tie to lightly bind your partner's hands, maybe?
- Roleplay - yes you can dress up to make things steamy, and you can also recreate your favourite sex scene. Roleplay has no boundaries and allows you to act out your wildest fantasises.
- Temperature play - Run an ice cube over your partner’s erogenous zones and then have them do the same to you. You can also blow on these zones when they are sensitive or engorged for a similar effect.
- Sex challenges - you know all those fitness challenges you see on social media? Same concept. Find things you’ve wanted to try and some that would be interesting or fun, and do as many as you can.
See how long you can kiss without having sex, try having sex without using your hands, see how many times you can have sex in one day without reusing any of the same positions, try creating your own sex position, etc. The idea is to try new things and get creative.
6. Arousal gels - they are also referred to as liquid vibrators. While it may not directly lead to orgasm, it makes your genital area sensitive, cause warm tingling sensations, and increase your natural lubrication.
This one is more experimental because there is no off button (which is a massive commitment). Make sure you test it on other parts of your body to ensure you won’t have an allergic reaction.
Other things to consider:
The possibilities and variations are endless, so make a list that pushes your creativity and healthily widens your boundaries. Over time you might need to make another list!
What is the most interesting or fun thing you think you've done - or think has been done to you - during sex?