Happy man celebrating a victory
Shutterstock

Men love it when a woman orgasms

Men really get off on giving their girlfriend an orgasm. When it comes to sexual satisfaction, there’s not a lot that tops seeing her climax.

That’s why most men are pretty bummed if she doesn’t – they question their sexual prowess and worry their girlfriend didn’t enjoy sex at all, according to a recent Canadian study.

Researchers asked 45 men and women aged 18 to 22 about their experiences and thoughts on orgasms – and in particular how important they felt it was for a woman to climax during intercourse.

There’s a major gap between the sexes, the focus groups revealed. Men tend to believe the female orgasm is super important. But women feel that sex can definitely be pleasurable without it. For many, an orgasm is kind of like the icing on the cake – the cake still tastes pretty great without it.

Talking is better than faking

Clitoral stimulation is another source of misunderstanding between men and women, the research showed. Women may worry that bringing up the subject will give their partner’s self-esteem a major blow. Many keep quiet, sacrificing their pleasure for his sake when speaking up would actually be a turn-on.

‘Why not? I think communication is amazing,’ said one guy. ‘I think [a woman asking to stroke her clitoris] actually adds to the sexual pleasure of both parties.’

In fact, the men in the study were all about communication. They thought it was great when their girlfriend talked about what she enjoyed during sex.

They much preferred a woman telling them what works for her and what doesn’t than having her fake an orgasm.

Don’t leave orgasms to guesswork

One thing both sexes did agree on was that physically stimulating a woman to reach orgasm is his responsibility. But they felt that it was up to her to be psychologically prepared to enjoy it – a woman has to be in the right mindset and be able to focus on the sensations she’s feeling in her body.

Both men and women can be guilty of making false assumptions about intercourse and the female orgasm, the researchers pointed out. Instead of asking what a partner enjoys or saying what they’re into, they guess. And their guesses are often wrong.

That’s why talking about sex is so important –  especially for young couples who might have very different ideas about sex matters like a woman’s orgasm, say the researchers.
 

How important is it that sex ends in an orgasm? Leave a comment below or on Facebook.

Tell us what you think

Recent Comments (42)

  1. very important to both
    very important to both persons it feels wonderful and your mate must know he knows how to take care of business ,bonding its one of GODS best thats why he said marriage

    1. Thanks for your comment,
      Thanks for your comment, Cecile.

  2. Everytime i had s*x with my
    Everytime i had s*x with my partner she looks so much satisfied, but why its the matter when ever I ask her wether she has an orgasm, she smile and said no to me. Is there any secret hiding in that?

    1. Deeno,

      Deeno,
      many women cannot orgasm from the in-and-out movement of intercourse alone. They will need stimulation of their clitoris to actually have an orgasm. Ask her to show you and tell you what works for her!

  3. I love it when we hve sex
    I love it when we hve sex with my prtner and i orgasm….sex bcomes much better and sweeter when we both orgasm at th same time or after he does….its all about concentration

    1. Thanks for your comment,
      Thanks for your comment, Nancy!

  4. Thts true hv tried the
    Thts true hv tried the clitoris thng bt and it works.

    1. It does, doesn’t it :-)?
      It does, doesn’t it :-)?

  5. I heard there’s two types of
    I heard there’s two types of orgasm.clitorial&virginal orgasm is it true coz I commonly good at clitorial the other. I’ve never.how do I reach the other.2)I’ve heard there are women who cum like a glass clear water.almost a glass full.is it true or just stories

  6. Women need to communicate but
    Women need to communicate but most importantly men need to listen. It worked perfectly well with ny exe. My hubby doesnt listen and i have come to hate sex. I got tired of remibding him year in year out of what i want. I do him the way he klikes till he forgets that i too need tio feel the same. fF

    1. Thanks for sharing your
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Akinyi

  7. How Will I Know If my
    How Will I Know If my partner has an orgasm

  8. my partner always enjoys it
    my partner always enjoys it best when I stroke the clit . so I think uve spoken some sense

    1. We are glad to hear that!
      We are glad to hear that!

  9. My woman always tell me to
    My woman always tell me to play with the clitoris and we real enjoy our sex

    1. She is a smart woman and
      She is a smart woman and knows what she needs!

  10. i always make sure my luvs
    i always make sure my luvs always have an orgasm first before i have mine, always asking her to make sure she had one bcoz i want her to be happy coz when she’s happy i’m happy too

    1. That’s fantastic, keep it up!
      That’s fantastic, keep it up!

  11. everytime we av sex she says
    everytime we av sex she says that i withdraw b4 she get d orgasm

    1. Have you asked her why, Tails
      Have you asked her why, Tails?

  12. Men,learn to keep your chest
    Men,learn to keep your chest off the female’s, look streght into her face and show some seriousnes while keeping your weight off the womanz breast.

    1. That’s an interesting
      That’s an interesting suggestion, Solomon!

  13. I have a query,when i touch
    I have a query,when i touch my girl in bed just before we make love, she pleases me so much by the way she moves her body and by this action i find myself ejaculating before i even fuck her,how can i control thiz?? Plz help

    1. Hello Dante, It sounds like
      Hello Dante, It sounds like you are coming earlier than you would like, this often happens to young men who don’t have a lot of sexual experience because they get very aroused very easily. With more sexually experienced men, it might be due to psychological problems, like fear, stress or depression.
      Generally though go slow, enjoy the buildup of touching and caressing each other. Make time for oral sex during your physical interactions. Take time focusing on your partner as well as yourself. Communicate together about what feels nice, what doesn’t and what you would like to try together. Experiment, explore and try new things!
      Make sure to use lots of lube and switch up the fun. Even if you do orgasm you can take some time to have oral sex with your partner until your body is ready to go again. Change positions and mix it up.
      Some people say condoms help them last longer, while others may use cock rings (just make sure it is the right size and not too tight!).
      Generally just remember that sex is more than just penetration and there are lots of ways to enjoy each other.
      If you are finding that you really cannot maintain an erection then it might be time to see a doctor. There are some medical conditions that can affect your performance but would need to be looked by a professional.
      You can also keep masturbating, however challenge yourself to last longer. Go slow, feel the way your body changes when you are getting closer to climax. Tease yourself, find tricks that help you delay the finish.
      Also check out:
      http://lovematters.co.ke/news/his-and-her-arousal-how-get-sync
      http://lovematters.co.ke/resource/making-love
      http://lovematters.co.ke/news/premature-ejaculation-couples-problem

  14. I think this article is
    I think this article is completely accurate! I often felt bad for keeping quiet when it came to my pleasure in bed. My boyfriend and I had a talk and communication honestly is the best way! Although I do have to agree with the studies results, making love is very pleasurable without an orgasm for me at least, maybe it’s just because I’m a sap and love the tender-lovey-dovey type of lovin’. 😉

    1. Thanks for sharing your
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Nat!

  15. Hi i have a prob theres this
    Hi i have a prob theres this guy we were together for a yr and one day he jst texted me and told me that its over i was so heart broken and he jst told me that he doesnt love me anymore its been months and he usually texts and i feel like giving him a piece of my mind bt its jst hard for me and i still got questions of reasons why he left me bt he avoids them

  16. Does positioning matter when
    Does positioning matter when it comes to her orgarsm?

  17. Does positioning matter when
    Does positioning matter when it comes to her orgarsm?

  18. My gal always orgasims
    My gal always orgasims whenever we make love, this has made her to love making love with me so much…. we make love oftenly and she is always happy

  19. Foreplay helps to workout
    Foreplay helps to workout things..Using your tounge 2 greet the clitories assist to orgasm

  20. how can i tell that i have
    how can i tell that i have had an orgasm cz am so dense about this all thing

  21. hae……. n how will ew knw
    hae……. n how will ew knw wat actualy works for her n maybe ur her first lover ( to reach her orgasm)

  22. I like your job…..it’s
    I like your job…..it’s amazing keep it up

  23. I’ve taught my man to
    I’ve taught my man to stimulate me by either his fingers on my clits or his member rub my clits gently while fingering that makes it more easy for me to orgasm

  24. I have never shown signs of
    I have never shown signs of orgasm while doing sex but wen I touch ma clitories I ejaculate

  25. Clitioris is a turn on to…
    Clitioris is a turn on to many women just soft rubbing will get you an orgasm . I have a question is squinting for some WOmen or all can .

LOVE MATTERS

Blush-free facts and stories about love, sex, and relationships