That’s why most men are pretty bummed if she doesn’t – they question their sexual prowess and worry their girlfriend didn’t enjoy sex at all, according to a recent Canadian study.
Researchers asked 45 men and women aged 18 to 22 about their experiences and thoughts on orgasms – and in particular how important they felt it was for a woman to climax during intercourse.
There’s a major gap between the sexes, the focus groups revealed. Men tend to believe the female orgasm is super important. But women feel that sex can definitely be pleasurable without it. For many, an orgasm is kind of like the icing on the cake – the cake still tastes pretty great without it.
Talking is better than faking
Clitoral stimulation is another source of misunderstanding between men and women, the research showed. Women may worry that bringing up the subject will give their partner’s self-esteem a major blow. Many keep quiet, sacrificing their pleasure for his sake when speaking up would actually be a turn-on.
'Why not? I think communication is amazing,' said one guy. 'I think [a woman asking to stroke her clitoris] actually adds to the sexual pleasure of both parties.'
In fact, the men in the study were all about communication. They thought it was great when their girlfriend talked about what she enjoyed during sex.
They much preferred a woman telling them what works for her and what doesn’t than having her fake an orgasm.
Don't leave orgasms to guesswork
One thing both sexes did agree on was that physically stimulating a woman to reach orgasm is his responsibility. But they felt that it was up to her to be psychologically prepared to enjoy it – a woman has to be in the right mindset and be able to focus on the sensations she’s feeling in her body.
Both men and women can be guilty of making false assumptions about intercourse and the female orgasm, the researchers pointed out. Instead of asking what a partner enjoys or saying what they’re into, they guess. And their guesses are often wrong.
That’s why talking about sex is so important – especially for young couples who might have very different ideas about sex matters like a woman’s orgasm, say the researchers.
How important is it that sex ends in an orgasm? Leave a comment below or on Facebook.