Woman's face experiencing orgasm
Love matters photoshoot by Rita Lino

What does an orgasm feel like?

‘My boyfriend asks me how often I’ve come after sex. But I don’t have an answer. How do I know when I am having an orgasm?’

It may surprise most women but it’s not only women who worry and stress over Mombasa Raha. Men are plagued by performance anxiety. They worry about the size of their Mr. Victors. They fret about their duration. Many things plague them.

Men’s fears are only compounded by tales shared by their peers that boast of unrealistic and often untrue sexual conquests. It’s very common in male circles for a guy to claim he can go seven or more rounds in one night with each session taking at least half an hour. Well, I just wonder whom these women are that they go to Mombasa Raha with…

The same men also talk about how their women moan, groan and cry out during Mombasa Raha – and thereby making other men in their circle feel inadequate. That’s one reason why many men want to know if indeed their mates have reached the big O – as a great ego trip and a validation of their Mombasa Raha prowess. This pressure has forced many women to fake orgasms for the sake of their men’s egos. I am not in any way suggesting you start faking it; it’s counter productive because sooner or later, he will find out.

This pressure has forced many women to fake orgasms for the sake of their men’s egos.

Now back to your question, the best way for any woman to know if they have hit the big O is to understand the four stages of Mombasa Raha: 1) Excitement, 2) Plateau, 3) Orgasm and 4) Resolution.


The excitement stage is when one gets physically and psychologically ready for Mombasa Raha – usually during foreplay. Physically, it’s characterised by Miss Victoria getting lubricated, her inner and outer lips swelling, and the clit and nipples becoming erect. Breathing gets heavier and heart rate increases…


The Plateau stage is when muscles tense, especially in the thighs and buttocks. Blood flow increases to the genital area – causing them to swell even more. Heart rate and breathing also continue to increase – often accompanied by sweating. The key here is increase tension and pleasure.


The orgasmic stage is the shortest of all stages, typically only a few seconds. The tension and pleasure mounts until culminating in orgasm. During the big O, Miss Victoria’s walls will contract rhythmically. This can be accompanied by the clumping of legs, the lifting of the pelvis, the curling or spreading of toes and fingers, and/or vocalizations. Climaxes differ from woman to woman. Some are a mild tingling and some are like out-of-body rush. But the one thing they have in common is that they have no comparison and therefore cannot be mistaken for something else.


The final resolution phase is when everything reverts back to normal. All the excitement dies down, followed by a blissful feeling.

So please ask your finance to go easy; the pressure could be making you nervous.

I am guessing that you probably haven’t yet experienced the big O – otherwise you would definitely know. So please ask your boyfriend to go easy; the pressure could be making you nervous. And unfortunately, the big O can only be achieved when one is totally relaxed and with no inhibitions. For you to reach the big O, you will have to encourage him to slow down and engage more in foreplay since women need longer in the excitement stage than men; men can move though the whole process in a few minutes.

Please remind your partner that the majority of women can’t climax with penetration alone. Convince him to go on an exploratory journey of the female anatomy – with you as the tour guide. After all, doesn’t he just want to make you happy?


For more advice from Getrude Mungai click here.

Have any more advice for our reader? Leave a comment below or join the discussion on Facebook. If you have any questions, visit our discussion board.

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Recent Comments (6)

  1. All I know about a woman
    All I know about a woman coming is that there has to be communication. Talking from experience, I had a lady who confessed that she had never enjoyed the game & wondered what other ladies meant when she & others had a chat about longing for the action & that they enjoyed it.The moment I engaged her and asked her how and what she prefers during the action;she was able to achieve orgasm. She ultimately realized what other ladies meant!!

    1. Thanks Samuel for sharing
      Thanks Samuel for sharing your experience with us.

    2. Even me till i experienced
      Even me till i experienced

      1. Thank you for sharing. 

        Thank you for sharing. 

  2. There is nothing bad when…
    There is nothing bad when you dont get satisfied in bed,when i experienced all the stages of love making i really find myself happy the whole day even my partner too.

    1. Thank you for sharing your…

      Thank you for sharing your experience Anne. 

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