Valentine, on-call
Alphonce Omondi

I’m in love with a sex worker

Is it okay to fall in love with a sex worker? Valentine reminds him that all love is good. But is it a love you can handle?

Love is love

Sex workers are people first; then they become sex workers. So, of course, there are people who fall in love with them. Love is fine. The question is: can you live with this person knowing what they do for a living?

I do not know if it is a product of our socialisation or our biology, but we humans are jealous creatures. We guard our material possessions jealously, and we do the same with the people we love. I know a young woman who hates it when her cousins call her mother ‘mum’ – so can you imagine what she’s like with the man she loves?

External pressure

Falling in love with a sex worker is all well and good; the issue is what he or she does for a living and whether he or she will stop.

The external world has a huge impact on our relationships and things might be fine when the two of you are alone.

But life always has a habit of interfering…


Sex work is illegal in Kenya. Prostitutes are at very high risk for HIV infection and other sexually transmitted infections. Are you willing to take these risks with your health? Are you willing to engage in a criminal lifestyle? What happens when you want to get married or have children? Can you raise a family with this person? What values would you be passing on to your children?

Your choice

Only you can answer these questions and decide what kind of life you want to sign on for. At first glance, it may seem glamorous to do something so ‘off the beaten track’. You may even tell yourself that you are above petty emotions like jealousy and possessiveness. I think that with time, you will find that the reasons many people do not choose this track will become your own reasons.

Would you be able to maintain a relationship with a sex worker? Leave a comment below or join the discussion on Love Matters Naija and Love Matters Kenya.

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Recent Comments (12)

  1. i can certainly fall in love
    i can certainly fall in love with a prostitute just to have an intercose with her may be she is sexier, bt to risk only my life with such..Nop, she appears reckless and a negligence driver.

    1. Hi Daniel,

      Hi Daniel,
      thanks for your insight!

  2. unles its GOD plan xo that
    unles its GOD plan xo that she can be saved throui u

  3. I met this one prostitute…
    I met this one prostitute back a few years ago. When I first saw her the only thing that I thought of was that she has a very nice body and a pretty face. And of course we met a lot. Soon after a couple of meetings, I’ve realized that I didn’t enjoyed the sex but the intimacy and the connection between us. And finally, I confessed my feelings to her. She then rejected me politely telling me that we live in two different worlds. I accepted her rejection with a smile on my face but deep down in my heart was hurting. When I was about to leave her room, the one thing that broke my heart the most was that I saw her wiping off her tears. I clenched my fist and walked away. And till this day I regretted that I didn’t went in and comfort her. I still miss her very much.

  4. Thank you for sharing your…
    Thank you for sharing your story with us Sean.

  5. I am currently in a…
    I am currently in a relationship with a sex worker I met as a client. She is sweet and caring and makes it easy for me to feel deep emotions for her. Love? Yes, I believe it is. In fact she said it to me first. The only concern I truly have is our age difference. She does not seem fazed by it but it is a significant gap (26yrs). Before we stated to ourselves that this is a real relationship, often when we were together we would talk about our childhoods and interests and generally get to know each other. Jealousy does not come up as I am faithful to her and, outside of work which we both know is just her job, she is faithful to me. So far this is working for us. ?

  6. I I’ll like to join this…
    I I’ll like to join this group

    1. Hi Abass, thank you for…

      Hi Abass, thank you for reaching out to us. There is no joining fee or procedure, as long as you log on to the website you will have access to us. We also have a Discussion Board dubbed “Let’s Talk,” which will require you to sign up and that’s it. You can also reach out to us on our Facebook Page “Love Matters Kenya,” where you can speak to us privately in our inbox. 

  7. I have been seeing a very…
    I have been seeing a very young sex worker, i am 59 and she is 25, for the passed 4 months. i am afraid I se the first signs of falling in love with her, and she shows me signs of similar feelings. We make passionate love where sometimes we both cry, lough, and play like we are children. Sometimes I even visit her and we just talk and laugh together. My problem is that I am so jealous of her being with other men. She prefers not to talk about it and i am trying to do so too. I sometimes think if she is just pretending and she is such a good actor, although she sometimes cries after a good orgasm. Any advice on how to keep this relationship without me being so jealous and possessive??

  8. Hello Erricos, thank you for…

    Hello Erricos, thank you for getting in touch and we are sorry you are going through a hard time. 
    Communication is an important part of any relationship. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Explain how their actions are affecting you and the relationship. Try not to be confrontational because that would put them on the defensive and the resulting conversation would not be productive.  Be ready to listen to their fears and feelings and respond to them as well.
    This article has some pointers that could help you learn how to better communicate.

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