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7 signs you’re in a situationship not a relationship

Eva and Kim have been together for 2 years. Eva thought Kim was her boyfriend until he asked her why she doesn’t have a boyfriend. Earth is really hard!

People, especially men, dread the question, ‘what are we?.’ Yet my guess is that by the time you are asking that question, you already know what’s up, sis. You are just acting dumb and hoping for a miracle. Good luck!

If you are dating someone but are unsure about who you are to him/her or where the relationship is headed, you could be in a situationship.

If you are constantly confused, worried, have anxiety, and frustrated about what you mean to your partner, this could be a sign that you are in a situationship.

If you are getting red signals that appear purple-ish, you could be in a situationship.

To put it simply, a situationship is when people do the same things as people who are in a relationship but there is no commitment. This means that while you may be committed to the relationship, your partner may not be committed. In some cases, both partners are not committed.

There’s no growth in the relationship
It’s like waiting for a domesticated cat to grow into a Siberian tiger. It won’t happen.

If you’re feeling stuck and not growing in your relationship, it could be a big red flag. Growth could mean meeting each other’s friends, celebrating small anniversaries, doing new activities together, etc. If you are not growing, it’s probably time to reality-check your relationship—or simply put situationship.
There’s someone else (or other people) involved
This applies to people in monogamous relationships.

If you discover that your significant other is romantically/sexually involved with one or more other people, you may be in a situationship.

We’re always tempted to think that we are the main in the relationship, but this is no consolation. At all! They should be committed to you and not everyone else.
You make last minute, and short-term plans
People in relationships plan weeks, months, sometimes years in advance. People in situationships may operate on a more hourly and daily timeline.

You’re in a situationship when it’s not a given that you’re going to see each other on the weekend or a holiday. You rarely talk about when you will make time for each other. If all you’re getting is last-minute invites, there’s your sign that it could be situationship.
You never talk about the future
If the conversations are always about here and now, and not the future, take the hint. If you have been dating someone and never talk about the future, it could be another sign.

Someone who sees themselves with you for the long haul will definitely involve you in their future plans. This could be subtle words like, ‘we’ and ‘us’ when talking about the future or involving you in actual discussions and planning.
No consistency
One of the ways a lack of consistency is seen in situationships is that you cannot see or talk to the other person regularly. You find yourself meeting less often and when you do, you cannot expect to do that soon. It’s like the weather forecast, you are never really sure if and when it will rain.
Excuses kibao!
In situationships, there are a lot of vague excuses. They may say, ‘I’m really busy, ‘We had a blackout, ‘It looked like it was going to rain, ‘I already had plans, ‘my neighbor’s cat gave birth, ‘I’m traveling.’

When you’re in an actual healthy relationship, you make time for your partner, no matter what other life events are going on.
They say and act it
The easiest and most direct way to know you’re in a relationship is when someone tells you that you are in one. When someone tells you something, believe them.

Actions speak louder than words, be keen on how they treat you. If they don’t call, return your messages sooner, they may not be that into you. It is very easy to know how people feel about you through their actions.

I am in a situationship, so what?

The decision lies with you. If you are okay with being in a situationship, then go for it. Just ensure that you are not having high expectations and unmet needs as this may affect your happiness. Do not overlook your own needs just because you want to satisfy someone else.

If you want more from the relationship, talk to your partner. Be open and honest about what you like about them and the relationship and ask them what they think about the relationship and what the future holds. If they still come up with excuses or are unclear about their stand, do not expect things to change. Pack and hit the streets!

Are you in a relationship or a situationship?

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7 signs you’re in a situationship not a relationship

There’s no growth in the relationship

There’s someone else (or other people) involved

You make last minute, and short-term plans

You never talk about the future

No consistency

Excuses kibao!

They say and act it

Let's talk

Stay Healthy

Get help

LoveMatters Africa

7 signs you’re in a situationship not a relationship

There’s no growth in the relationship

There’s someone else (or other people) involved

You make last minute, and short-term plans

You never talk about the future

No consistency

Excuses kibao!

They say and act it

Let's talk

Stay Healthy

Get help

LoveMatters Africa

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