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Let’s talk about emotional cheating

When we hear the word ‘cheating’, we always assume that it is sexual in nature. This isn’t always the case.

In committed relationships, cheating does not always have to do with sexual activities. There are other things that you can do to breach the trust of your partner. Great examples are eating their avocado, squeezing out the toothpaste ‘incorrectly,’ lying about your whereabouts, and emotional cheating.

Let’s talk about emotional cheating. 

What counts as emotional teaching?

Emotional cheating can be defined as deep and intimate closeness with someone else who is not your partner. Often, this closeness affects how much time and effort you invest in or spend with your partner. This is because you may find yourself spending more time forming a connection with the other person instead of your partner.  

Before you use the friendship card, there is a difference between friendship and emotional cheating. Often, emotional cheating has an element of sexual tension or romantic attraction between either or both parties. Most emotional affairs start as innocent friendships but in some cases, the people involved may engage in sexual activities.

While emotional cheating seems harmless, it can take a lot away from your relationship. For once, you may find yourself investing more time and effort in the other person more than your partner.

This is a sign that you have a weak commitment to your partner and the relationship you’ve built. This will, in turn, affect the bond that you two had developed.

Next time someone says they think their partner is cheating, do not automatically assume that it is sexual infidelity.

Signs of emotional cheating

If you are the one cheating:

  • You stop talking about deeper issues with your partner and instead share with the other person. You may find yourself sharing personal stories, especially, those touching on your personal relationship
  • You start keeping secrets or lying to your partner about where you’ve been or deleting certain messages from your phone.
  • You become very secretive about this other person and who they are to you
  • You quickly turn to that other person when your partner is not available
  • After conflicts with your partner, you constantly want to connect with the other person
  • You enjoy spending time with the other person more than your partner
  • You find yourself constantly comparing your partner with the other person. You may notice that you get angry at them for not doing things the same as the other person.
  • You may start to feel that the other person understands you better than your spouse
  • You start coming up with excuses so that you can spend time with them. Your partner gets less time with you while the other person gets more time.

Side note: The signs listed above do not automatically signal emotional cheating, there are several other factors that can make a partner feel distant. Talk to your partner first about what they may be going through.

If you are the one investing more energy and time in other people other than your partner, re-evaluate your reasons and intentions.

If your partner is the one cheating, the best thing to do is to talk to them. Be sure that you can point out certain things that have been doing that indicate they are cheating. Do not forget to tell them about how this makes you feel.

Have you ever engaged in emotional cheating? Has someone ever cheated on you emotionally? Talk to us in the comments section.

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Recent Comments (4)

  1. Let’s talk..alot of pain…
    Let’s talk..alot of pain.. need to kill her

    1. Hi Kenneth, 

      Being cheated…

      Hi Kenneth, 

      Being cheated on can be painful and hard to process. There are many healthy ways to process the pain but killing someone is not one of them. Do not kill her because she cheated. It si not only wrong to kill someone but you may end up spending the rest of your life in jail. Instead, walk away from the relationship as it is no longer helping you in any way. 

      Call 1190 for free to talk to someone. 

  2. My partner does not feel my…
    My partner does not feel my pain even if i explain to him all he say is that i talk too much or i soo troublesome.how do i handle this.

    1. Hi Lavender, 

      That’s very…

      Hi Lavender, 

      That’s very sad. Empathy is important in a relationship. 

      It is, however, important to look at the factors that could influence his reaction. First, it is important to think about how you communicate your pain. The way you communicate your pain matters. e.g. When you communicate like you’re preaching, lecturing, or insulting may make your spouse not listen. It may be that you are not direct and very precise when communicating with your partner. Second, it’s important to tell him that you don’t feel his empathy towards your pain. Don’t assume they know what you’re thinking. They may have no idea that you’re feeling ignored. Another factor could be that your timing may simply be off. Your spouse probably won’t listen attentively when tired, stressed out, preoccupied with other thoughts, in a rush, or busy with something else. 

      On the other hand, you could be dealing with someone who does not care about your feelings and the best course of action, in this case, is to leave that relationship: you cannot and should not force or teach someone to care about your feelings. 

      Have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your feelings. You may be surprised that he didn’t know how you feel. on the other hand, be keen on his body language because it’s also possible that he simply doesn’t care. 

      If possible, consider finding someone else to talk to about your pain. There’s always someone who’s willing to listen and assist if they can. 

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