Can I marry someone I met on Facebook?
I have met a guy on Facebook and we fell in love. Is it okay to marry someone I only know from social media?
In my days, we would go out and meet boys at the disco, movies, camps, and other social gatherings. Today, in the digital era, technology is one of the major ways for people to meet and connect. But, as much as technology has made communication easier, it has brought on a number of challenges; especially when it comes to proposals like the one you have just received.
Meeting and dating someone on social media is okay as long it’s just that. Marriage, on the other hand, is a totally different ball game. A couple can’t be married on social media. So at one point, the two have to meet to formalize and consummate the marriage for it to be legal.
Challenges of online dating
After dating online and deciding to get married, the real challenges will start.
This is when fantasy meets reality.
For example, he might not smell as delicious as you thought he might from seeing his photos. That is assuming he sent you his authentic pictures. Lies and deceptions are the most common difficulties one encounters in online dating. Unlike meeting physically, where one is able to decipher the usual fabrications men (or women!) use, the same doesn’t apply for dating online.
So I imagine it’s more difficult to determine who is genuine; a lot of people go online looking for sex, to scam, or to get a rich sponsor. In some instances, serial killers have looked for victims online and women are sometimes trafficked to be sex workers.
Having said that, many decent people are looking for a life partner online. The question is: how does one minimize the chances of being misled?
Searching for his information online
One must always do some background checking before going too far. Since you are dating on Facebook, a good place to start is on his profile. If it’s a new profile with very few posts, and with little or no friends, then you should worry. Many con-artists will pretend to be new to the platform and have technological challenges, in order to gain your trust.
You can Google search his full names and town. But beware: the results might shock you.
You could also check out his company’s website for information or even call them and ask to speak to him.
But don’t let your background search turn into stalking! Remember that he also has a right to privacy.
Another red flag is when he refuses to do video calls. Video calls are important for you to verify the profile photo is actually his. If he claims to be abroad, you can insist on getting his phone number so you can verify his country code.
If he passes your background check, you are ready to meet him.
Meeting for the first time
Under no circumstance should you ever agree to marry someone before meeting them. Unless of course, your parents have arranged it and you come from a culture where that is normal. Thus meeting the man and dating him is essential before agreeing to get hitched.
- Do not travel out of the country to meet him, let him come to you first. Some young women are trafficked and sold into prostitution this way. Also, if he is in another town within the country then let him travel to see you, even if he offers to finance your trip. You are vulnerable out there without your home support systems.
- Never meet in a private place. Always meet in a public place like a busy restaurant.
- Bring a friend. Your friend doesn’t have to sit on the same table, but they can be on the lookout. If you can’t bring a friend, tell someone where you are going and give details of the man as well.
- Pick a place that you frequently go to, somewhere where the staff know you. Don’t accept to meet him in a neighbourhood you are not familiar with or that is out of your comfort zone.
- Do not accept alcohol on the first date. Some men use alcohol to intoxicate women, so they can take advantage of them. And keep an eye on your drink, as well.
Date him for a while
The fact that you are asking this question makes it evident that you are not comfortable with the current situation.
Marriage is not a walk in the park, even for those like us who dated for five years before marriage.
It’s prudent to date long enough to see him at his best and his worst. His behaviour when upset or happy will inform you on how he will treat you in marriage. I hope both of you will be able to discern if you can live with each other’s flaws and that true love is born.
I wish you all the best.
Would you marry someone you met on Facebook? Share your thoughts below or on, yes, Facebook. If you have questions, head to our discussion board.
i cant marry someome i met…
i cant marry someome i met on social media unless i took all d precaution u listed above.
Hey Id, we are glad you…
Hey Id, we are glad you found this information useful.
Depends for how long you…
Depends for how long you studied the person
Thank you Nelius for your…
Thank you Nelius for your contribution. Perhaps, the relationship would have to move from online before marriage happens. But yes great relationships can also start on social media.
Hey Mina, what can we do for…
Hey Mina, what can we do for you?
I don’t think that all…
I don’t think that all online relationships are bad some of them are really cool and actually made for each other…love wins
We agree Lucy and the tips…
We agree Lucy and the tips in the article above help to actualize this. Thank you for the feedback.
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We appreciate your contribution.
i have a man and planning to…
i have a man and planning to meet soon.we met on fb and i love him
hi Mercy, we are happy for…
hi Mercy, we are happy for you. Taking your relationship from online to meeting physically is a big step. It is important that for your first meeting you choose a venue and a time that you are comfortable with, perhaps a public neutral place. We do wish you well, have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/meeting-someone/online-dating-dos-and-donts
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Good for you Diana, be open and positive as you meet him. Plan to meet him in a public place. Should want to pursue the relationship, check out this articles with tips on how to get to know each other: https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/meeting-someone/getting-to-know-each-other. All the best.
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I’m dating a guy who’s from…
I’m dating a guy who’s from USA and I’m from SA, we met on Facebook when we communicate we use video call but can I trust this person?
Hi, today people meet in…
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I have met someone on…
I have met someone on facebook. He says he’s interested in me.We’ve been chatting on WhatsApp. I asked him to visit me first but he said I should visit him first. Should I get worried?
Hi Joyce, thank you for…
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This article has great pointers on the do’s and dont’s of the first date.
I met a guy on Facebook and…
I met a guy on Facebook and he’s talking to me about Marriage
I told him we need to meet first, he asked me to come to the United state and that he wwill sponsor my journey but I told him to come to Nigeria instead. He told me that if he comes to Nigeria he is coming to get married
I made him realize that it is important we see before we plan marriage
He said I’m not serious and not ready for marriage
He stopped talking or responding to my messages
What can I do?
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Try and explain your reservations to him that if the meeting can happen in America then surely it can happen in Nigeria. Explain your fears while also listening to his and try to come to a compromise
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