The 8 signs you’re with the wrong partner
Not sure about your partner? It’s totally reasonable to question the health of your relationship. In case you’re wondering, here are eight signs you might be with the wrong person.
You’re unhappy
It’s not your partner’s job to make you happy all the time, but they should at least try to make things pleasant. Petty fights and arguments aside, you should generally be positive about your relationship. Time spent with your partner should make you feel better about yourself, not worse. If your partner undermines your confidence or always puts you in a bad mood, it may be time to assess your situation.
You feel uncomfortable around them
You should feel comfortable being yourself around your partner. If you find that you need to wear a mask, or are constantly trying to impress them, they may not be right for you. Your partner should love you as you are, and not try to mold you into an entirely different person. You should feel energised after spending time with them, not emotionally drained. They should lift you up, not drag you down.
You find them unattractive
Yes, attraction matters! They may not be supermodels, but you should feel some attraction towards them. If you find your partner repulsive, things probably aren’t going to work. You need chemistry for a relationship to flourish. You don’t need to be lusting for each other always, but you should have some urge to make love. Great sex won’t make all your problems go away all the time, but it does allow you to lose yourself for a while, which is important in a long-term relationship.
You’re sexually unsatisfied
The right partner should be sexually compatible with you. If you view sexual intimacy differently, or have different libidos, taboos or sexual preferences, your relationship will be affected. In short, your sexual satisfaction should be important to them. But no matter how ‘good in bed’ someone is, there’s nobody as good as a partner you feel deeply in love with and bonded to.
They are untrustworthy or untrusting
If you begin catching your partner in lies, even small ones, watch out! A good partner should be honest with you. A relationship simply cannot function without trust, and this goes both ways. Not trusting your partner, monitoring their communication with others, trying to limit the amount of time they spend with those they care about – such actions are bad for the health of any relationship. If your partner is falling into these patterns, it’s time to take a break and rethink your relationship.
Your values differ dramatically
Differences in upbringing and lifestyle can add colour to a relationship, but if your core values differ you should think twice. If one values family and the other doesn’t, things are going to be tense. Likewise, if your life goals are irreconcilable, chances are things aren’t going to work out. You and your partner’s values and goals don’t necessarily need to be the same, but they should at least be harmonious.
You can’t communicate
Communication is one of the most important aspects of any relationship. Even if you are with the right person, that doesn’t mean you won’t have disagreements and face difficulties. You should, however, be confident that together you can work through such difficulties, and feel comfortable about bringing up sensitive issues. And remember: Communication is a two-way street. The right partner will not only speak honestly, but should listen patiently to what you have to say.
They try to control you
If your partner is always trying to control you and tell you what to do, get out while you still can. The right partner should value your individuality, not try to control your life. If it seems like they are more interested in the role you play in their world, rather than with your needs, you might be dating the wrong person.
Read our article ‘8 Signs you’re with the right partner.’
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Recent Comments (44)
i guess i had some of those
i guess i had some of those characteristics but as from now henceforth
……i hav to think about my life
Nice! Good luck, Lennox.
Nice! Good luck, Lennox.
for me communication is a
for me communication is a problem am always the one to text or call he will never call sometimes after sending a text I never get feedback and when I bring up the story about us he say that “umeanza issues” like am always starting to bring up issues.But thenks luv matters I’ve realised I need to let go thou I luv him xo much
Good for you Damaris!
Good for you Damaris!
Kanyaga kubwa kubwa naniii,,…
Kanyaga kubwa kubwa naniii,,,,unampenda saaaana but hakupendi hata kidogo,,utaumia saaana
Asante kwa ushauri wako…
Asante kwa ushauri wako Tarrus.
Calling and texting doesn’t…
Calling and texting doesn’t necessarily mean that your partner is faithful… Sometimes they are just doing so to ease your mind…
Especially calling…
If he texts you randomly with sweet messages or memes or sends a funny video maybe that’s how he shows he’s thinking about you…
The one’s you should be careful about are the constantly checking on you, maybe they’re insecure or are secretly doing something behind your back…
For me i don’t see a problem with that if a partner doesn’t call but texts you regularly then appreciate the gesture and stop complaining
Thank you for your input…
Thank you for your input Kaimeni.
Thank you
Thank you
It’s a good thing you’ve…
It’s a good thing you’ve realized early enough that your relationship is not working. When it comes relationship there is there the lover and the beloved. I think you are the lover and your boy
Thank you for sharing with…
Thank you for sharing with us Chris.
Damaris I think we are the…
Damaris I think we are the same bus
Hi Rosaline, what do you…
Hi Rosaline, what do you feel you should do about it?
hey am isabellah in our r…
hey am isabellah in our r/ship we always go in differences each and every week but it happens the guy loved me soo much in that he has cheated me three times while i forgive is that a good relationship
Hello Isabellah, thank you…
Hello Isabellah, thank you for getting in touch and we are sorry you are going through a hard time. Love requires commitment dear, if he is unable to commit or be faithful to you, then that is not good at all for any relationship. Furthermore, the more you forgive him for this, the more he will take your forgiveness for granted, is that something you want?
I guess all i need i have
I guess all i need i have found here.
We are glad you like it.
We are glad you like it.
My gal used to Lie alot and
My gal used to Lie alot and too Nagging and most of the times too secretive about her own Life matters ,, what could have been the implication of this…??
I have noted you are using
I have noted you are using past tense. Are you still together if so, you could ask her to explain why. If not then its difficult to know why.
My husband spending time…
My husband spending time with his brother’s… more than me is it normal
Hello Siara, if your husband…
Hello Siara, if your husband is close to his brothers, then it seems natural that he would spend a lot of time with them. If it is bothering you, have an open and honest discussion with him about it. Communication is an important part of any relationship. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Explain how their actions are affecting you and the relationship. Try not to be confrontational because that would put them on the defensive and the resulting conversation would not be productive. Be ready to listen to their fears and feelings and respond to them as well.
Tnks ,I think I av the right…
Tnks ,I think I av the right man
We are happy for you.
We are happy for you.
Am damn with the wrong…
Am damn with the wrong person?
Hey DNN, sorry about that…
Hey DNN, sorry about that. Hopefully, this article helps you to make a decision.
Indeed she poses much of…
Indeed she poses much of them she is loud even in bet issues. What can I do?
Hey John, if she possesses…
Hey John, if she possesses most of them do you still want to be with her? Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up
I married my gal out of her…
I married my gal out of her being pregnant and later realised she was not the right partner, what step should I take…. I’m emotionally so drained.
Hello Mwangi, sounds like…
Hello Mwangi, sounds like this is very frustrating for you. If you no longer love her, you may need to be honest with her. Not doing this will mean you leave feeling this way for the rest of your life. Is this what you want? You can agree on how you both participate in raising your child this is if you choose to break up. Take sometime and consider your options before making a decision. Have a look at the following articles for additional information;-
https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up
https://lovemattersafrica.com/marriage/do-i-have-to-marry-someone-i-made-pregnant
Am confused…I think am…
Am confused…I think am losed
Sorry about that. Any more…
Sorry about that. Any more information we can provide to help? In the meantime have a look at this article, hopefully it helps;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/the-8-signs-youre-with-the-right-partner
Imagine having all the 8…
Imagine having all the 8 signs in my relationship it’s so draining. I feel it’s time to let go of everything
Hi Lenah, so sorry about…
Hi Lenah, so sorry about this. If you feel it is time and the relationship can no longer work, do let your partner know. Be honest with them but try an not be cruel. Have a look at the following at the following articles for additional tips;-
https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up
https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/how-to-break-up
I should have seen the signs…
I should have seen the signs long ago…as the saying” love is blind” I’m glad it’s all over now.
We are sorry about this…
We are sorry about this Smarto, but we are happy for you that it’s all over.
After 5 months in my…
After 5 months in my relationship I found out that my gal lied alot,qhen I ask she says she never wanted to loose me, and now am loosing her interest,we have a babie coming and am not even interest coz at fast I was not even ready and I had told her that but she ignored, should I go on or should I quit.
Hi Deno, you don’t have to…
Hi Deno, you don’t have to be together since you have a child on the way. If you no longer wish to be together, let her know this. However, since you have a child on the way, it is is important that you think and then talk with her about how you will support her during this time and beyond. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/marriage/do-i-have-to-marry-someone-i-made-pregnant
Am really tired of my gal…
Am really tired of my gal she cannot satisfy me sexually and she’s alwaiz quarrelsome I think she’s seeing sam1 else
Hello Ben, thank you for…
Hello Ben, thank you for reaching out to us. It is indeed frustrating if you feel you do not gel well with your partner or if you feel things are not going well.
Communication is an important part of any relationship. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Explain your position and how you feel what is going on is affecting you and the relationship. Try not to be confrontational because that would put them on the defensive and the resulting conversation would not be productive. Be ready to listen to their fears and feelings and respond to them as well.
Am dating a girl for about…
Am dating a girl for about 5months now. At first she used communicate well, bt for the past 2months she has changed slot. When am going to see her she get some excuse of having a program to run in the evening which I usually I understand bt she can’t even get a little time for me with her coz during the day and always at work so we can’t see each other. She is just boring,she got no fun to make just expecting me to call her or txt her everyday in which am Being suspicious to her. She even can’t to see me when am sick,she has an excuse of am busy busy in which am loosing interest in her…
Hello Ricky, thank you for…
Hello Ricky, thank you for reaching out to us. For a relationship to last, a lot of work needs to go into it from all involved. You have an idea of how you want to be loved but remember that not everyone loves in the same way. Try and find out what your love languages are and how you can speak them to each other.
This article has more information on Love Languages and should help further.
https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/do-you-speak-the-right-language-when-it-comes-to-love
My relationship was toxic he…
My relationship was toxic he doest want me to express my feelings he calls that being putty, yet I am hurt so he prefers we don’t talk about issues. This has killed my morale in the relationship he has pushed me away with that coz I am the dialog type of girl and he is the type who will keep quite for days in the middle of a MN argument only to bounce back few fmdays later like nothing happened. Yet I expect us to talk about the disagreement… I am undecided on what to do!
Hello Jennifer, thank you…
Hello Jennifer, thank you for reaching out to us and we are sorry you are going through such a hard time.Communication is an important part of any relationship. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Explain how their actions are affecting you and the relationship. Try not to be confrontational because that would put them on the defensive and the resulting conversation would not be productive. Be ready to listen to their fears and feelings and respond to them as well. If that doesn’t work, don’t hesitate to reach out to us and we can figure it out together from there.
Lots of love,
Love Matters Team.
Thank you guys
Thank you guys