On the rebound - couple having sex
George Allen Penton

How to get over an ex: rebound sex?

What’s best after a break-up: steer well clear of sex, or jump straight into bed with a new lover? New research reveals whether rebound sex will help or harm you.

Break-ups are tough, there’s no doubt about it. Your self-esteem plummets, you may feel angry and sad, and you long to be with your ex. When it comes to moving on with your life what are you to do? ‘There’s no better way to get over an ex than to get under someone else,’ is how the saying goes. But is there any truth in it?

That’s just what a team of US researchers wanted to know. They dug around for scientific data on rebound and revenge sex, but their search turned up next to nothing.

Typing the terms into Google was a different story. ‘Rebound sex’ and ‘revenge sex’ gave them 18,000,000 hits, they say. Try it yourself and you’ll get a different result… but anyway, we get the idea. They figured it was high time to research what goes on in our sex lives after a relationship ends.

Revenge sex is sweet

The first thing they did was round up 170 university students who’d all gone through a recent break-up. The suffering students had to fill in an online diary for a few months. Each week, they confessed how they felt about their ex – whether they were still madly in love or despised them and wanted revenge.

The students also told the researchers if they’d had sex over the past week, and the reasons for it. They could choose from options like cheering themselves up, helping them get over their ex, or sweet revenge.

Who were the students having sex with after their break-up? Sex with the ex happened about 20 per cent of the time, the research showed.

But when they weren’t crawling back into bed with their former sweetheart, the students were after comfort or revenge in the arms of another lover.

Does rebound sex help?

Within one month of their break-up, one out of every three students had rebound sex to give their self-esteem a much-needed boost or to get over the pain of having lost their partner, the study showed. One in four were seeking revenge – they wanted to get back at their ex and figured sex with someone else was a great way to do it.
Not surprisingly, both rebound and revenge sex became less common over time as the students got on with their lives.

So do the researchers think rebound sex can really help heal your broken heart? Indeed they do. ‘For some people, having sex with a new partner is a healthy and necessary part of moving on,’ they conclude.

Source: Rebound Sex: Sexual Motives and Behaviors Following a Relationship Breakup, Lindsay L. Barber, M. Lynne Cooper


Sex on the rebound – good or bad idea? Leave a comment below or on Facebook.

Tell us what you think

Recent Comments (40)

    1. Thanks for your comment!
      Thanks for your comment!

  1. It’s True, Sooo…..Sweet.
    It’s True, Sooo…..Sweet.

    1. Thanks for sharing your
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

  2. I think and feel that’s what
    I think and feel that’s what I want

    1. Just make sure to think it
      Just make sure to think it through, Vera.

    1. And, what are you planning on
      And, what are you planning on doing!

  3. Mine is a question. …
    Mine is a question. ….should i go on sleep with another partner to heal my wounded heart that i have?

  4. Mine is a question. …
    Mine is a question. ….should i go on sleep with another partner to heal my wounded heart that i have?

    1. Brenda,

      Brenda,
      if you are not sure, you are probably not yet ready, and at risk of getting your heart even more broken.
      Think about it, and make sure you are certain before you do anything.

  5. i think its a good decision
    i think its a good decision but one should give themselves time b4 that.

    1. We agree, Caren, time is
      We agree, Caren, time is crucial!

  6. I don’t think its the best of
    I don’t think its the best of ideas to have sex after a break up.

    1. Thanks for your input!
      Thanks for your input!

  7. The partners should
    The partners should solve their problem first before taking the next step.

  8. sex wth a new partnr aftr a
    sex wth a new partnr aftr a brk up helps to heal ua broken hrt n yearn for new memories

  9. having sex doesn’t completely
    having sex doesn’t completely heal your hrt break …
    I broke with my ex but any tym am having sex, my ex occupies much of my mind

    1. Thanks Lennox for your input.
      Thanks Lennox for your input. You need to remember time is a healer and so it might take a while to get over someone.

  10. that is the easiest way of
    that is the easiest way of healing and moving on!

    1. Erick it does not work for
      Erick it does not work for everyone but it works for some.

  11. Am looking for a partner …
    Am looking for a partner ….0710709933

    1. Sorry Charzi we cannot help
      Sorry Charzi we cannot help you with that.

  12. Am just from a devastating
    Am just from a devastating break up and I have had sex with a couple of girls (no strings attached) but every time its done, all I do is think about my ex. So am not really sure if rebound sex works

  13. Noo,i don’t agree with that..
    Noo,i don’t agree with that…better you get more serious with chasing your goals than having rebound/revenge sex.

    1. Thank you Yusuf for your
      Thank you Yusuf for your input.

  14. Just in this dillema what do
    Just in this dillema what do i do?ielp plz…

  15. Its more than three months
    Its more than three months since we broke up, i hv not indulged in either the revenge nor the rebound but i miss him. What do i do? Thanks.

  16. im looking for a patner
    im looking for a patner 0778575132

  17. I don’t think sleeping with…
    I don’t think sleeping with another person is really the solution. Taking time by yourself will really help concidering the fact that you really respected what you had. Going through it and keeping myself busy with the things that make me happy is really helping my situation.

    1. Thank you David for your…
      Thank you David for your contribution. Research seems to suggest that this will work for some people meaning it is the option for some and it may also not work for some.

  18. Just tell me what to coz am…
    Just tell me what to coz am going thru a similar situation

    1. Hey, Getting over a break up…
      Hey, Getting over a break up can be tough depending on the reasons that led to the break up, how you broke and whether one still has feelings for their partner. One has to first come to terms with the fact that the relationship came to an end, then give themselves time to heal. It takes time to get over the hurt, but time is indeed a healer. We wish you well. Check out the following article with more tips on coping with a break up;- https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/breaking-up/coping-with-a-break-up

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