Happy couple embracing each other
(C) Love Matters | Rita Lino


Being heterosexual means you are sexually, emotionally, and romantically attracted to a person of the opposite sex. This is often referred to as ‘being straight.’

What is heterosexuality?

Heterosexuality, alongside homosexuality and bisexuality, is one of the three most common forms of sexual orientation. These terms refer to whom you are sexually attracted to, can be emotionally involved with and might have or want a romantic relationship with.

‘Hetero’ means ‘another’ in Greek. So, if you identify as a man, it means you are attracted to women. Or if you identify as a woman, it means you are attracted to men. It’s also called being ‘straight’ or ‘hetero’.

Around 90 per cent of people identifies as heterosexual. The other 10 per cent identify as gay, bisexual, lesbian, or something else.

Sexual orientation affects more than just who people are attracted to. It affects your identity, how you interact with others and how you express yourself. Sexual orientation can’t be changed. It’s like being left-handed: you can try to teach yourself to use your right hand for writing, but it will never feel right – because it’s not who you are. And even if you stay true to being left-handed, the world around you isn’t for you. Scissors, knives, door knobs: none of them are made for you.

And sexual orientation is similar. Think about it: could someone who is openly gay or lesbian be president of your country?

This can make it very difficult to be open about your sexual orientation when you aren’t what others consider ‘normal’.


Unfortunately, many people assume all people are straight and that affects the way they see the world. We assume all people will date the opposite sex and have children. Which of course is true for a lot of people but not for everyone.

This is referred to as heteronormativity or heterosexism.

For example, when someone asks a woman if she has a boyfriend this assumes that all women date men. If you are a woman who dates women, this question can feel very isolating.

Another example is when someone asks a gay or lesbian couple ‘Who wears the pants in the relationship?’ This assumes that there is always a more masculine person and a feminine person in a relationship. This is an assumption based around the idea that everyone is straight or straight acting.

These ideas and assumptions shut out people of other sexual orientations and stigmatises them.



Did you learn something new?


Hey Jumabwoy, this doesn't mean that you are homosexual or that you are attracted to persons of the same sex as yours, it just means you want to explore anal sex. Many heterosexual couples choose to have anal sex, it is however important to check with your partner to see if this is something they are willing to explore and then accept and respect their choice whatever it may be. https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/anal-sex-top-five-facts

Hey Tess, I can imagine this is confusing for you. However, heterosexual partners can also choose to have and enjoy anal sex. This should be consensual for both partners. If you are not ready for anal sex, let your partner know, who should also respect this choice. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/anal-not-for-me


Hi Stephen, it's completely normal for men to have what is called the refractory period, where the penis cannot get hard after ejaculation. Your body is just telling you that it needs some time. There is no real way to change it or reduce how long it takes, so just try to work with your body. If you are really hoping to have more sex, then take the time to recharge and focus on your partner. This is a good time to focus on them and give them pleasure. You will become hard again in no time and continue. 

Hi Bassel, The g-spot is a super-sensitive area inside your vagina. It's made of erectile-like tissue, similar to the clitoris. It's about the size of a small coin, but it can get bigger when it's being stimulated. The Clitoris sits inside the outer lip and inner lips. You’ll find the clitoral hood at the very top of the inner lips. The clitoris is one of the most sensitive parts of the vagina and when stimulated during sex may result to an orgasm. Check out the following articles for additional information;- 



i don belive being attracted to the same sex is natural it is a mindset how come no other animal except humans practices it yet our minds are the most developed. when Africans Were Primitive same sex was not practised

Hi Ngio, homosexuality has been observed in at least 1500 species apart from human beings (a quick Google search will revel this). Second, there is evidence and documentation of homosexuality being practised in Africa before colonisation. Furthermore, African communities also recognised gender diversity and fluidity.

Whats up with these folks
Fri, 09/25/2020 - 03:55 pm
A good amount of the comments here just seem so dumb and ignorrant to be brutally honest. literally stupid

Hi Jessy, 

First, it is important that the 'desire' to stop being gay is not influenced by outside forces. Second, being gay is not a choice, it's not like someone can just turn some things off like a switch. Perhaps you are curious about what it means to be straight or bisexual, that's totally normal. You may find out that being straight or bisexual is for you as well, or not. Whatever you do, be honest about what you love and do not let the opinions of others influence you. You are who you are and that's alright. There are millions of others like you. 

Also, do not be tempted to try the conversation therapies, they do not work and they may affect your mental well-being. 

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