Heavily pregnant woman in front of a colourful backdrop
(C) Love Matters | Rita Lino

Sex and pregnancy

When you're pregnant, you want to do everything right so you can have a healthy baby. Here are answers to some frequently asked questions.
I had hard sex. Could it have harmed the baby?

No. You can have sex any way you like when you’re pregnant, and it won’t do the baby any harm. The baby is completely protected inside your womb. Some women find they feel more sensitive and want to have sex more when they’re pregnant. That’s fine – the happier and more relaxed you are, the healthier your pregnancy will be!

It’s true that an orgasm can sometimes trigger an early miscarriage, but it won’t be the cause. It just sets off something that was going to happen anyway.

Also, after an orgasm, your tummy might go hard and feel tight and painful. This is fine, it does no harm at all. Normally when you have an orgasm your womb contracts, but you’re not aware of it. But now you’re pregnant, it’s very obvious. It can be uncomfortable, but it’s completely harmless. It won’t cause a miscarriage or premature birth.

As the pregnancy goes on it can be uncomfortable to have intercourse with the man on top. You’ll need to find other positions, for example lying on your side with your partner behind you. Or you might just feel like having sex in other ways without having intercourse. Or not at all. Just follow your feelings.

The only times you shouldn’t have sex when you’re pregnant is if your waters have broken, if you’re bleeding, or if your midwife or obstetrician says that for a particular reason you have an increased risk of giving birth prematurely.

I got drunk – but I didn’t realise I was pregnant. Could it have harmed the baby?

If you drank a lot of alcohol, smoked, got ill or took drugs before you realised you were pregnant, it’s logical you should worry. Luckily in the first two weeks, there’s hardly any contact between your body and the fertilised egg.

The exchange of blood between you and your embryo only really starts after the time you know your period is late. So if you start living healthily as soon as you realise you’re pregnant, a drinking binge the week before won’t have done any harm.

Of course, it’s possible that you might not realise you’re pregnant straight away. You might have had a little bleeding – ‘spotting’ in your underwear – and thought it was a very light period. Or you might have missed a period or two but somehow not taken on board the fact that you’re pregnant.

In this case, there’s no point worrying if anything you’ve done up to now might have harmed your baby. The important thing is to act now, and start following the tips to look after the baby inside you.

I’m on the pill and I still got pregnant. Could it have harmed the baby?

So you’re on the birth control pill, or you use another hormonal contraceptive but you still got pregnant? You might worry that the contraceptive pill has harmed your baby. The good news is there’s no definite evidence that taking the pill when you’re pregnant can harm your baby – so don’t worry.

On the other hand, there’s no definite evidence that taking the pill when you’re pregnant doesn’t harm the baby. It might say in the instructions with your contraceptive pills that you shouldn’t take them when you’re pregnant.

If you think you could be pregnant, you should stop taking the pill. But remember you might not be pregnant, so if you have sex, make sure you use another kind of contraceptive.

Did you learn something new?

Hi Joshua, There no harm in you ejaculating inside your wife during her pregnancy. The semen cannot even get to the developing baby. Check out the following article for more information:- https://lovematters.co.ke/pregnancy/sex-during-pregnancy-top-five-facts
am a third year student over the last 5 months my girlfriend has been pg am not really stable financially how am I going to show her all that she needs to keep the child healthier and also avoid unnecessary stress over the issue because she might be hiding some feelings considering my financial situation? kindly help out.
Hi Biasi, Raising a child in your circumstances can be indeed challenging. It maybe important for you talk to your support which includes parents who maybe able to offer some support as youwork things out. Talk to your partner and look at the options you have interms of support and approach them for support. We wish you well. It is also important that you are completely honest with each other, talk to her and encourage your partner to communicate with you in honesty as you do the same. We wish you well.
Mon, 09/25/2017 - 10:37 am
I need help,my wife is one month pregnant but is crying of abdominal pain. no bleeding, no vomiting only that pain. what could be the problem?
Hi Johnson, Pregnancy is a time filled with many changes, both physical and emotional. There are changes in moods that shift like the wind and there may also be a number of changes with regard to sexual desire of your partner. Many pregnant women find that their sex drive fluctuates throughout the nine months of pregnancy. Sometimes the sex drive may be high or like in your case now low. It may help to talk with your partner so that you can find a balance that also accommodates the changes happening to her.
Have been dating mi boyfriend for one year,we have never had sex yet he is complaining i must have sex this time round hw will ensure am safe yet he does not want to use a condom
Hi Jacky, it is important to consider protection when you are planning to have sex with a new partner for unplanned pregnancy but also protection from Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs). Only condoms can give you protection for both. If he is unwilling to wear a condom there are female condoms that you can use. Lastly, the decision to have sex is your own, only do it if you are ready and feel it is the right time. Check this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/safe-sex/sti-prevention/staying-safe
It my fist time am missing my periods,this is my 26day since my last period..thou I am still having some crumps and pains around my nipples?
Hi Ninah, A missed period is one of the signs of pregnancy, but the missed period could have been caused by hormonal changes, stress, eating disorders, extreme sports or exercise. Do take a pregnancy test to get to know or rule out pregnancy. Check this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/pregnancy/unsure-about-being-pregnant/am-i-pregnant
Am 26 weeks pregnant,but my tummy does not grow big,this my third pregnancy,though the first two were the same,so i though this time it will change,is this normal?
Fri, 12/22/2017 - 09:21 pm
Hi Irene, everyone has a different experience with their pregnancy however as long as the baby's development is on track based on your Gynecologist or Midwife then there is nothing to worry about. Lastly, it sometimes takes longer for plus-size women to look obviously pregnant.
Kelvin Kariukim
Mon, 01/15/2018 - 03:41 pm
Hi Mary, Pregnancy occurs at different times for people. There are those who try once and get pregnant immediately and there are those who try for some time, but its all normal. If you have been trying for les than a year there is nothing to worry about. But if you have been trying for more than a year, you and your partner might want to visit a doctor for check up. Here's an article that can help in improving your chances https://lovematters.co.ke/pregnancy/before-pregnancy/what-to-expect
Fri, 02/16/2018 - 11:28 pm
My Wife gave birth through cs Nov 2014 after abt a wk ago, she had a test and found to be pregnant...will this have any effect on her during the upcoming delivery? is 3yrs enough after cs bfore the nxt pregnancy?
Wed, 02/21/2018 - 08:44 pm
Hi Michael, three years is sufficient time for your wife to have another safe delivery after a CS. I suggest that she starts her pre-natal clinic visits as early as possible which will help track the pregnancy and plan for the delivery. We wish you well.

Hi Benard, It is important she takes a pregnancy test to rule out pregnancy. There are other reasons that can lead to a delayed pregnancy, including, change in diet, change in environment and even stress. Have her start by taking a pregnancy test to rule out pregnancy before considering other causes. 

Wed, 04/04/2018 - 02:48 pm
hi I want to get pregnant soon though I took a prevention ? last year December is it possible for mi to get pregnant now? I will appreciate your response
Hey Christine, Do you mean you took the three months shot/injection? If you used the Shot, it may take afew months before you have regular periods which also has an effect on whether and when you can get pregnant. I suggest you visit your health care provider for more specific advice. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/birth-control/types-of-birth-control/shot
Thu, 04/12/2018 - 10:18 pm
Hey,i've been pregnant twice but miscarriaged both pregnancies,the first was three months and the second was five months my gynaecologist said they were due to cervical opening i want a baby what should i do to avoid this problem and have a safe and healthy pregnancy to the end..please kindly help me
Hey Maryah, So sorry about your loss. It is important you talk to your Gynecologist who will advice on what you should do or can be done to help carry the pregnancy to term. Talk to your Gynecologist when you plan to get pregnant for advice and monitoring your pregnancy. We wish you well. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/pregnancy/being-pregnant/miscarriage
I'm almost in a 5 months pregnancy and im having great pains in my lower abdomen though have not started my clinic and its my first pregnancy ,,,,kindly advice on the cause of pains
Hi Mueni, it is adviceable you start you Pre-Natal clinics as soon as possible. The pain could be as a result of your womb getting bigger and pulling down on the ligaments that hold it in place in your pelvis. This causes cramp-like and stabbing pains in the abdomen. I suggest you however visit a health centre for your Pre-Natal visits and monitoring of your pregnancy. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/pregnancy/being-pregnant/your-body-and-pregnancy
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