Valentine, on-call
Alphonce Omondi

Help, my pregnant wife hates me

By Valentine Njoroge December 16, 05:14 am
Valentine, is it true that pregnancy can change the attitude of a wife against her husband? If so, what can the husband do to remedy the situation?

It happens often

Wow, you are in a tough situation. My own father now – over 30 years later – recalls with laughter how my mother really hated him during her pregnancy with me. He says it was especially difficult because they were also in the middle of planning their wedding. I can only imagine how his family wondered why he wanted to marry a woman who was not at all enamoured with him…

It's all hormonal

Over the years, I have watched a few women go through this and unfortunately none of them has reported a remedy.

The good news is that the disenchantment is completely hormonal and may not even last throughout the whole pregnancy.

Each pregnancy is different and your wife might never feel this way again. This wave of 'husband hating' is typically worst when the mother is dealing with morning sickness – which usually occurs in the first and third trimesters.


Your wife is probably observing herself and her behaviour and wondering what demon has taken over her mind. She might be terrified that she is ruining your marriage. And she might be so embarrassed by her behaviour that she can’t ask for help. Show her this article as it will explain what’s happening and perhaps give her some peace of mind. Knowing that it’s hormonal and temporary will perhaps make this all easier to deal with. The worst case scenario is her being like this for the entire nine months. However, in most cases, it doesn’t last longer than two.

You could also just avoid her as much as possible and focus on other ways of preparing for baby. Having your feelings hurt and being rejected by your spouse is not fun, even when you do know it’s temporary.

Have you been a hated partner? Or a hating partner? Share your experiences by leaving a comment below or joining the discussion on Love Matters Naija and Kenya.

Did you learn something new?

Thu, 05/16/2019 - 08:37 am
I am pregnant & i really hate my bby daddy just because he doesnt blieve that the child is his...i told him never to talk to me,text me or even call me..& for sure he doesnt communicate since then..was i wrong telling him so? Or is it that he had no true love to me! Please help me

Hey Nazlin, so sorry about this. I can't tell you how he felt about you and it is possible that he just wasn't ready to take responsibility for a child. Either way this is tough, going through this without support from him. If he has however chosen not to support you, there is little you can do at this time. After you deliver the baby you can now talk about how he participates in raising your child. You have to think about what direction you want your relationship with him to take and then talk about it to agree on this. We wish you all the best in your pregnancy journey.

Thank God am not alone I feel like am about the go crazy my girl hate even the ground I walk on since she was about 5 months pregnant she even put me out of the house no calls no text she accept from me I have to be living in the dark she told me how much she hates me and we will never be back together she is now 39 weeks will this change after birth

So sorry Joe. That must hurt especially because you seem to want to be with her during her pregnancy. Pregnancy does take a toll on the woman's body and mood. Just remember that she is just as much a victim of her hormones as you may feel you are. She is going on an emotional and physical roller coaster ride! Just hang in there! It will all be worth it in the end.

In terms of being kicked out of the house, talk to her and persuade her to take you back. 

Add new comment


  • Allowed HTML tags: <a href hreflang>