Dumb reasons for saying ‘I do’
Meet Angela (38). She’s a smart, beautiful, funny and charismatic lady with many other admirable traits. Yet, the one trait most people focus on, is the fact that she has never been married. Well, she’s got her reasons – and they make a lot of sense.
Could it be that Angela’s success frightens away men? Hardly! Angela has no big dreams of becoming a CEO who makes all men quiver at the sound of her approaching Prada heels. Perhaps her ‘deficiencies’ are in other departments; but neither her gynecologist nor her previous partners have raised an alarm or expressed anything but satisfaction in terms of results. In addition, if the way to a man’s heart is indeed through his stomach, then her culinary skills leave many hearts pounding.
Yet despite all of these advantages – and the fact that she’s the go-to babysitter for all her friends – Angela still has neither a ring on her finger nor a bun in her oven. So what’s wrong with her?
This is a question Angela has been facing for the past decade. Even when the question is not asked directly, it’s still always mirrored in people’s eyes. According to society, being a 30-plus single female automatically translates to there being ‘deficiencies’.
Angela has long reflected on both societal pressure and the internal battle that raged within herself for years on why she has never ‘settled down’. Furthermore, very few people are aware that she got a marriage proposal five years ago, only to turn it down. So does she have anything against the institution of marriage? Of course not. She would love to get married but she won’t do it just for the sake of getting married.
After witnessing her friends’ miseries, divorces and traumas, she feels that if you do say ‘I do’ it has to truly mean something. And the following reasons to get married simply do not mean enough to her:
1) Love: It’s never enough as its flames have to fueled by other aspects of life, such as compatibility.
2) Money: One should never equate money to respect.
3) To get a baby: You don’t need to be married to have a child, do you?
4) Oops, I’m pregnant: Do you want to submit your child to parents who simply tolerate each other ‘for the sake of the baby’.
5) Your parents arranged it, or say ‘he’s perfect’: Is it you or your parents who will live with him?
6) All your friends are married: Does that mean if they decide to jump off a bridge, you will do the same?
7) He proposed: That’s why it’s a question: it leaves you with an option to say yes or no.
8) Tick-tock: Has anyone ever died once the biological clock countdown ended?
In short, the only reason Angela will get married is if it feels right that this is the partner who will truly support, challenge and comfort her…
Do you agree with Angela’s reasons for not get married yet? Leave a comment below or join the discussion on Facebook.