• Making Love
• Sex Problems: how to overcome them

Stress: bad for sex?

By Steph Haase on

Is stress a contributing factor when it comes to poor sex performance for a man? And, if so, how can one overcome it?

Yes, absolutely. Stress can affect many areas of our lives, including our sex lives.

It can lead to issues with getting or maintaining an erection, premature ejaculation and having an orgasm. Stress can even affect your arousal and your desire for intimacy in general.

In order to address this, you need to identify where the stress is coming from.

Sex stress

Are you stressed because of sex itself? Maybe you are worried about STDs or unplanned pregnancies. Or that your performance (or penis) isn’t adequate.

It’s normal to stress about these things, especially if you have a new partner or little experience. The good news is that this is something you can easily take care of. Using condoms, ideally combined with another form of contraception, avoids transmission of most STDs and reduces the risk of pregnancy.

For all other concerns, good communication with your partner is key.

If you are worried about your body or your performance being inadequate, talking about your fears will help.

It won’t be easy but sharing will help.

Other stress

Or is it other areas of your life you are stressed about? Your job, money, your family? Think about what causes the stress.

The more clearly you identify the root cause of your stress, the easier it will be to come up with strategies to cope with it.

Let’s say it is your workload. You have been working longer and longer hours, but you can’t seem to ever manage to reach the end of your to-do list.

Why could that be? Maybe you are procrastinating. Maybe you are tired and burnt out. Or maybe your boss really likes the work you deliver and trusts you with all the important work.
Each one of those causes has its own solution.

Stress-free sex

Whatever the cause of your stress, make sure sex doesn’t add to it. Sex should be fun and enjoyable. In fact, sex can even help reduce your stress.

So even if stress in other aspects of your life is affecting your performance, make sure you still have fun in bed.

Sex isn’t just about penetration. Focus on being with your partner, the feel of their skin against yours, their touch, their breath. Have a cozy cuddling session with your partner, give them a nice massage, and let them massage you. Be close, be intimate. And try to leave the stress at the bedroom door.


Are you stressed about any aspect of your life? Get in touch with our discussion board moderators for help.