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Varuna

Sexless relationships

By Steph Haase April 15, 06:00 am
If you haven’t had sex with your partner in months or even years, you may be in a sexless relationship. Read up on all the myths here!

Couples in sexless marriages never have sex

It can be tough to pin-point what exactly is defined as a sexless relationship. Some experts say it’s less than 10 times a year. Some sexless couples would consider themselves lucky with 10 times a year! So it really depends on the couple to figure out if their relationship is sexless or not.

There is no intimacy 

Not having sex doesn’t mean there is no intimacy in a relationship anymore. A couple can still cuddle, kiss, hold hands, sleep next to each other. Not having sex doesn’t mean you have stopped caring for and/or loving each other.

It only happens to long-term couples

This doesn’t only happen after decades of marriage or just to older people. People are in relationships for different reasons. Great sex isn’t always one of them. A couple may or may not have had satisfying sex in the beginning of their relationship. Or over the years, sex may also have become a secondary or tertiary priority.

It’s mostly women who have low libido 

Myth. The truth is, it’s rarely one person’s fault that sex isn’t happening in a relationship. It’s normal for partners to have different libidos. However, women are not always the reason for no sex.

One of the partners must be cheating

It’s easy to assume that if a couple isn’t having sex, one of them must be getting their needs met elsewhere. That’s definitely not the case. However, there is a risk of a partner becoming unfaithful if the issues of sexless marriage aren’t addressed openly.

A sexless relationship doesn’t equal to a failed relationship

We are made to believe a good relationship or marriage means wild and passionate sex all the time. That’s not the reality of most relationships though. But it does mean that couples in sexless marriages often feel like they have failed. That’s not true though. You can still have a loving, caring relationship without sex.

Getting sexual desire back is virtually impossible 

Thankfully, that’s also a myth. Usually, there is an underlying cause for lack of sex. Stress, medical problems, pregnancy or other relationship issues. If you can work through those issues as a couple and overcome them, you might end up with a stronger and healthier relationship in the end.

 

Have you been in a sexless relationship? Share your experience on on Facebook or sign up on our discussion forum

Did you learn something new?

Comments
Hey Rose, Your partner broke the rules he cheated on you, this was not your fault. It is however important for you and your partner talk about this and find a solution and way forward. It appears for the moment you may have chosen not to deal with the issues. You can address what is going on in your relationship by talking about this. The intention should not be to judge or condemn but to find a way forward that ensures you are not stuck in the past. All the best. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/breaking-up/guide-to-recovery-for-the-cheated
Hi Jassy, I can imagine the frustration this is causing you. Have you talked to your partner about this? Talking about this can help you and your partner identify the underlying issues that could be causing the low sex drive in your partner. Find a good time and talk about this.
Nakyanzijuliet
Sat, 04/16/2016 - 10:56 am
for me asexless relationship cannot last, tell me, how do you share the beautiful unspoken feelings? it doesn't work forme.
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