It's not him, it's...
Oh wow! It’s not his problem, it’s the condom. Your boyfriend is like most other men who say that sex with a condom is very different from sex without a condom.
Let us look at what sex is all about for men and women:
For women, when a naked penis is inside us, we experience pressure from the length and especially the width of the penis, and also the thrusting. We also feel the texture of the penis. With a condom on, we miss out on the texture but most of our sexual experience is still intact.
When a man inserts his naked penis into a vagina, he experiences warmth, moisture and the texture of the vagina.
With a condom on, he cannot feel the moisture, the texture of the vagina is diminished and he can only feel the warmth. It is no wonder that men do not like condoms.
Your boyfriend could try polyurethane condoms. They are thinner than regular latex condoms so they will allow him to feel more of you, while still using protection. You will have to be careful and perhaps use some lubricant so as not to break them. If you are in a committed relationship, you could have an IUD (intra-uterine device) fitted to prevent pregnancy and forego condoms altogether. An IUD is inserted in your uterus by a doctor and is one of the most effective ways to prevent pregnancy. It, however, does not protect you against sexually transmitted infections, so only do this if you trust that this man is faithful to you.
If you are sticking to condoms, you can try to put a drop of lubricant inside the tip to help it feel a bit nicer. Alternatively, you could use his lost erection as a break from intercourse and an opportunity for more foreplay. This will change the rhythm of your lovemaking and you might find that it brings new tenderness and intimacy into it.
Do you have any other tips for this couple? Leave a comment below or join the discussion on Facebook: Love Matters Naija and Love Matters Kenya.