Valentine, on-call
Alphonce Omondi

Boyfriend loses erection with condom

My man has a problem of losing his erection when he puts on a condom. What could be his problem? Valentine gives some tips for her boyfriend’s tip.

It’s not him, it’s…

Oh wow! It’s not his problem, it’s the condom. Your boyfriend is like most other men who say that sex with a condom is very different from sex without a condom.

Let us look at what sex is all about for men and women:

For women, when a naked penis is inside us, we experience pressure from the length and especially the width of the penis, and also the thrusting. We also feel the texture of the penis. With a condom on, we miss out on the texture but most of our sexual experience is still intact.

When a man inserts his naked penis into a vagina, he experiences warmth, moisture and the texture of the vagina.

With a condom on, he cannot feel the moisture, the texture of the vagina is diminished and he can only feel the warmth. It is no wonder that men do not like condoms.

Different feelings

Your boyfriend could try polyurethane condoms. They are thinner than regular latex condoms so they will allow him to feel more of you, while still using protection. You will have to be careful and perhaps use some lubricant so as not to break them. If you are in a committed relationship, you could have an IUD (intra-uterine device) fitted to prevent pregnancy and forego condoms altogether. An IUD is inserted in your uterus by a doctor and is one of the most effective ways to prevent pregnancy. It, however, does not protect you against sexually transmitted infections, so only do this if you trust that this man is faithful to you.

Other options

If you are sticking to condoms, you can try to put a drop of lubricant inside the tip to help it feel a bit nicer. Alternatively, you could use his lost erection as a break from intercourse and an opportunity for more foreplay. This will change the rhythm of your lovemaking and you might find that it brings new tenderness and intimacy into it.

Related: The Signs And Treatment Of Semen & Latex Allergies


Do you have any other tips for this couple? Leave a comment below or join the discussion on Facebook: Love Matters Naija and Love Matters Kenya.

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Recent Comments (84)

  1. Are they married? if yes
    Are they married? if yes there is a variety of contraceptives ,if no let them get married first

    1. Thanks for your comment,
      Thanks for your comment, Duncan!

    2. Sex, made by nature. …
      Sex, made by nature.

      Marriage, made by man. You missing and confusion the question and response.

      1. Thank you for your…
        Thank you for your contribution Vee.

  2. Good advice, but something
    Good advice, but something would have been said on loosing erection before penetration

    1. That’s a good point!
      That’s a good point!

  3. mayb he masturbates or he was
    mayb he masturbates or he was affected once

    1. Hi Anto,

      Hi Anto,
      masturbation will not affect the ability to have an erection, that’s a myth!

  4. I feel the same the moment am
    I feel the same the moment am to wear a condom. even when before I had a hard one it falls in the act of dressing a condom on.

    1. Hi Ashraf,

      Hi Ashraf,
      have you tried any of Valentine’s tips yet?

  5. He would trust her girl
    He would trust her girl friend by visting a medical doctor.

    1. This would be a good idea as
      This would be a good idea as well.

  6. tell me the disadvantages of
    tell me the disadvantages of mursterbation

  7. Its better 4 them 2 use
    Its better 4 them 2 use tablets 2 prevent pregnancies coz that guy has bad fellings 2wards condom.What about sombody loose erection immeadiatly when he releases sparms,where is the problem?

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      condoms protect from STDs, birth control pills don’t.
      And a man should pull out immediately after ejaculation, so that no sperm leaks out.

  8. Its better 4 them 2 use
    Its better 4 them 2 use tablets 2 prevent pregnancies coz that guy has bad fellings 2wards condom.What about sombody loose erection immeadiatly when he releases sparms,where is the problem?

  9. He would gain trust in his
    He would gain trust in his patners, in order 4 him to sex without a condom

    1. That would be an option!
      That would be an option!

  10. Its better 4 them 2 use
    Its better 4 them 2 use tablets 2 Prevent pregnancies coz it seems that guy has bad fellings 2wards condom.What about somebody who looses is erection immediatly after releasing sperms,where is that problem?

    1. Losing an erection after
      Losing an erection after ejaculation is normal. There is no problem. thanks for your input.

  11. Good advice, but how about
    Good advice, but how about intercourse

  12. I sugest that he puts the
    I sugest that he puts the condom on as they foreplay.It works!

    1. That’s a great suggestion,
      That’s a great suggestion, Cate!

    1. It can happen, Peace, that’s
      It can happen, Peace, that’s okay.

  13. My hubby doesnt allow
    My hubby doesnt allow foreplay cos merely tochn or suckn hm mks hm cum mch fatser. Usin condom mks hm last 2-3mins, bt wtout condom, he cums almost immediately jst lyk foreplay. He doesnt tk sugar or sugery stuffs so wat cld b d prob cos he sed it’s nt hs mind?.

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      and after he comes the first time, can he go a second time after a break? That might last a lot longer. He could also masturbate beforehand.

  14. how does doctors insert this
    how does doctors insert this 99%pregnancy free object to the uterus….is it manually..orally or thru injections????

    1. It’s done manually. The
      It’s done manually. The doctor inserts a device to open the cervix through the vagina, and then places the IUD inside the uterus.

  15. What if they tried female
    What if they tried female condom maybe it kud work

    1. That’s a really great
      That’s a really great suggestion!

  16. i lyk pple wen talkin plain
    i lyk pple wen talkin plain truth!.this a major problem to us men, higher %age of men go thru this as most of us mentally reflect that sex is more enjoyble without CD!..so it bcome a tendency of loosin erection wen applyn CD,otherwz we should only ensure for HTC then do it flesh2flesh!

    1. Thanks for your comment,
      Thanks for your comment, Mctosh!

  17. Am a victim. It hapens to me
    Am a victim. It hapens to me several times. Once i get a condom i loose my erection imediately even before puting it on. though am marred and we surgest the use of condom as our mode of familly planing; It turns me completely off. i love my wife.

    1. Hi Berto,

      Hi Berto,
      have you tried to let her put it on as part of foreplay? Or have you tried using female condoms?

  18. may be its as aresult of the
    may be its as aresult of the boyfriend being against the use of condoms thus on putting them he looses interest thus the erection does not last 4 long

    1. That could be! what would you
      That could be! what would you suggest in a situation like that?

  19. is it true that female
    is it true that female condoms can be re used several times?is it true that they are very expensive?where can i get them?

    1. Hi Jos,

      Hi Jos,
      no, they can only be used once.
      You can get them at most chemists, but they are indeed quite expensive, in Kenya between Ksh 80 to 120, usually.

  20. wat about erection b4 sex at
    wat about erection b4 sex at all?

    1. Sorry, not sure we understand
      Sorry, not sure we understand what you mean, Lady.

  21. wat about erection b4 sex at
    wat about erection b4 sex at all?

  22. condoms prevent pregnancy an
    condoms prevent pregnancy an diseases an whn u use it b careful cuz it can slik an inside da vaginah

    1. Hi Juliet,

      Hi Juliet,
      thanks for your comment!

  23. i heard that mastarbation
    i heard that mastarbation leads to serios importent especialy to men is tru? if yes, whats the cure.

  24. i think he should c a doctor
    i think he should c a doctor

    1. That can indeed be an option,
      That can indeed be an option, if nothing else works!

  25. i had never had sex but i
    i had never had sex but i used to murstabate severally atleast twice a week. It happened that one day during foreplay with my girlfriend i had a real hard erection but wen i put on a condom ready to penetrate her i lost the erection and sh ws very mad at me. When i ws escorting again a had an erection. On the second encounter it was worse that i cud nt erect cause i was very down psychologically. We separated and since i have managed to tame three girls but am always afraid to ask them out for sex cos i fear a reapeat of what happened. It has been almost one and a half years now and i dont knw yet hw a vigina feels like . I need sex badly. What shud i do?

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      condoms can be pretty intimidating.
      Have you tried putting one on when you are masturbating? That way you can practice, without the pressure of having someone else there.

  26. pls name me any contraceptive
    pls name me any contraceptive pill for my girl. She is not enjoy sex wen i put on condom

    1. Hi Iasun,

      Hi Iasun,
      there are many other options- the pill, injections, an IUD… Have a look at the ‘birth control’ section, and see what kind of options there are. Then, you should discuss them with a doctor, to see if the option is actually suitable for you.

  27. Sex comes from the brain. If
    Sex comes from the brain. If you happen to abt something else then one will definately go flat. No penetration and sex for that matter.

    1. Thanks for sharing your
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Ma.

  28. i cum very fast an thereafter
    i cum very fast an thereafter i lose erection. i have experienced this with 3 ladies. i now fear to have sex with other ladies due to this problem. how can i solve this problem?

  29. When i do sex my ladies do
    When i do sex my ladies do screem that they are really feeling it to the top!but yesterday i brought a very hot chick to my room,,when we started playing sex,i did it for 30 minutes,after my ejaculation the lady told me to continue abit and in the process i gained 2nd erection in the process as usual coz am use to that trend,,i continued and the lady fainted,,what could be the problem administration

    1. Hi Stephen, if she fainted
      Hi Stephen, if she fainted during sex it could mean that she might have a medical issue that needs checking as soon as possible.

  30. what can i eat that will make
    what can i eat that will make me fuck for long hour?

    1. Hi Sammy eating a healthy
      Hi Sammy eating a healthy balanced diet is important for all body functions. When it comes to sex it not about the time you take but the quality of sex you have with our partner.

  31. there is at times when u’ve
    there is at times when u’ve never tried using a condom, u feel so shy & with that makes the brain fails, so allow her to touch on ur penis, let her get used to it & u 2 to her vagina that if she touches on ur penis, u start erection there & then, feel comfortable with her hand touch to make u gain erection

    1. Thanks for your input Sammy.
      Thanks for your input Sammy.

  32. Condoms are more safe if you
    Condoms are more safe if you’re not married. Sticking to one partner is better

    1. Thanks for sharing that with
      Thanks for sharing that with us Ruto.

  33. wat happens wen they re both
    wat happens wen they re both protectd

    1. What exactly do you mean
      What exactly do you mean Vinnix when you say they are both protected?

  34. is musturbating bad…..wat
    is musturbating bad…..wat abt sex b4 marriage

  35. What or where cn i get help
    What or where cn i get help with weak erection or sometimes dropping before i stick it inside her

  36. My boyfriend uses condoms …
    My boyfriend uses condoms and his erection seems to be intact…problem is he never wants to go raw and we are both safe….. Why

    1. Hey,…
      Hey,

      Have you asked him why?

      Why you maybe safe there is also the risk of unplanned pregnancies. Sex is always better when you talk about it. Find a good time to talk about this, get to know what his concern is so that together you can find a way forward. The advantage of condoms is that they prevent the transmission of Sexually Transmitted Infections and unplanned pregnancies. Check out the following article for more tips on how to talk with your partner about sex.

      https://lovematters.co.ke/making-love/ways-to-make-love/talking-about-sex

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