Valentine, on-call
Alphonce Omondi

When should a man orgasm?

By Valentine Njoroge September 23, 08:01 pm
I want to know the best style and formulae to make your lady enjoy sex. How long should a man take to finish? How will you know that she is satisfied?

You are looking for the one position that works for all women? Oh, if only I knew that, I would be answering your question from my cliff-front villa overlooking the ocean. And when I deigned to drive, it would be a red BMW X6.

Practice makes perfect

You are looking for a fixed response like 'man on top', do this for 10 minutes, and when she screams ‘Oh Jesus!’ three times, you’re done.

Sorry, but women are complex and fascinating creatures. There is no position that 'fits all' for orgasm. What would be the fun in that? No, sex was created so that you actually have to talk to your partner and find out what she likes. Some women respond very well to oral sex, others to fingering, yet others to intercourse, and yet others have still never had an orgasm from intercourse alone.

To complicate things further, our bodies respond differently at different times of the month.

Finding those zones

What you can do is find your woman’s clitoris and get well acquainted with it. It is a small button located where the inner lips of her vulva meet. Does it respond to touch or gentle strokes of the tongue?

What are your partner’s erogenous zones? There are the obvious ones like her breasts. But what about hidden ones like the back of her knees, her stomach, inner thighs, or a specific ear that is shockingly sensitive? You will only find these parts by taking your time, not by racing to orgasm.

Try different positions after about 20 minutes of foreplay, and then see what your partner responds to best.

And regarding when a man should finish: How about a man should never ejaculate until his partner has had an orgasm?


Do you have your own golden rule to when a man should have an orgasm? Comment below or join the discussion on Love Matters Naija and Kenya.

Did you learn something new?

Comments
Ben, sex is about communication as much as it is about sex. So in order to have great sex, you have to talk. And that means asking. Because even if you see that she isn't having an orgasm, you won't know why. If you ask, she can tell you.
jaymo..
Fri, 01/09/2015 - 04:51 pm
I cum very first for the first round Bl the second I last fo about 30mins....wat can I do to make the first round last long?
Jaymo, It sounds like you are coming earlier than you would like, this often happens to young men who don't have a lot of sexual experience because they get very aroused very easily. With more sexually experienced men, it might be due to psychological problems, like fear, stress or depression. Generally though go slow, enjoy the buildup of touching and caressing each other. Make time for oral sex during your physical interactions. Take time focusing on your partner as well as yourself. Communicate together about what feels nice, what doesn't and what you would like to try together. Experiment, explore and try new things! Make sure to use lots of lube and switch up the fun. Even if you do orgasm you can take some time to have oral sex with your partner until your body is ready to go again. Change positions and mix it up. Some people say condoms help them last longer, while others may use cock rings (just make sure it is the right size and not too tight!). Generally just remember that sex is more than just penetration and there are lots of ways to enjoy each other. If you are finding that you really cannot maintain an erection then it might be time to see a doctor. There are some medical conditions that can affect your performance but would need to be looked by a professional. You can also keep masturbating, however challenge yourself to last longer. Go slow, feel the way your body changes when you are getting closer to climax. Tease yourself, find tricks that help you delay the finish.
Imms henry
Wed, 02/03/2016 - 08:10 pm
Hi Let share a bit information the problem z when startng proposing a gal z difficult bt whn go n detail i cn do so HOW WL U START THE GAL FIRST MOMENT?
Hi Henry, It Sounds like you have a problem with shyness. Have you read our article on shyness it might help you it your issue https://lovematters.co.ke/news/painfully-shy .
Ethern
Wed, 02/03/2016 - 08:33 pm
I have many questions. I have never had sex but i love looking at the girl's anus, this means that i would love to see the anus when having sex and probably kiss it or put my finger inside, ''i dont ever want to do anal sex'' but i simply want to fuck the pussy with her anus view, but am worried she may not allow me to put finger in her anus or even kiss it.. Am addicted to it.. I love it.. But this doesnt mean am gay..
Hi Ether, Thanks for writing to us. wanting to lick or finger your girlfriends anus does not make you gay. We all have our fantasies and things that turn us on during sex. So your fantasy does not make you weird or wrong. You can introduce the idea to your girlfriend and see what she thinks about it. You might be surprised to find out she is ok with it. Talk to her.
charles
Wed, 02/03/2016 - 08:36 pm
what could be my problem?I enjoy sex but I come early evev with or without condom.I gives me a great concern. some time after going the second round then on the third round my penis goes up and come down during penetration and could not rise again even when my partner do every thing possible to stimulate it but yet it wount respond.
Hi Charles, premature ejaculation is a concern to a large percentage of men, read this article and find out more https://lovematters.co.ke/news/premature-ejaculation-top-five-facts . When you can hold an erection after sex normally its because you are mentally detached or you just need more time to rest before you have another go at sex.
Add new comment

Comment

  • Allowed HTML tags: <a href hreflang>