Surprising ways for a woman to orgasm
If you think the only way for a woman to climax is through clitoral or vaginal stimulation, think again. Other parts of the body can trigger orgasms, too.
When it comes to a woman’s orgasm, the clitoris-versus-vagina debate has been running for over a century and still rumbles on today in the scientific community. Can you have an orgasm only with the vagina? In fact, is that really a ‘proper’ orgasm? Or do you actually always need clitoral stimulation to climax? Well, perhaps all that genital focus is missing the bigger picture.
Determined to move the orgasm debate forwards, a group of Canadian scientists had a good look at all the research available from every angle, from psychoanalysis to evolutionary theory and neuroscience.
The way she starts to move or moan…
A male orgasm is a fairly straightforward affair. It starts with arousal and an erection and ends with ejaculation. But in women it’s a tad more complicated, and, the researchers say, quite subjective.
As such, where a woman’s orgasm comes from is beside the point, they argue. Instead, what matters is what a woman recognises as the big O.
This depends on different factors. For starters, there are all the experiences she’s learned to associate with climaxing. These can be erotic cues – like the sight of her partner naked or him touching her in a particular way. They can also include her knowledge of the way she starts to move or moan before it happens.
What a woman regards as having an orgasm also depends on the types of stimulation she’s used to associating with the experience. Of course, there’s both clitoral and vaginal stimulation, for many women, caresses to other body parts can also be very erotic.
Nipples, lips, toes…
What are these erogenous zones that can lead to orgasm? Well, nipples are probably the most obvious. But also a woman’s lips, ears, neck, and even fingers or toes can trigger an orgasmic experience, say the researchers. This can happen when one or some of these body parts are stroked and caressed. All of the arousing sensory information joins together and as a woman has more sexual experience, it starts to regularly lead to pleasure and climax.
It’s not unusual for orgasms to change based on the different sensations a woman is feeling or the context in which she has them – think masturbation versus intercourse with a partner, or sex with different partners.
An orgasm is an orgasm, say the researchers, whether it’s triggered by the clitoris, the vagina, other erogenous zones, or a combination. A woman can have a ‘remarkable variety of orgasmic experiences,’ they conclude. So enjoy experimenting!
Reference:
Pfaus, J.G., Quintana, G.R., Cionnaith, C.M. & Parada, M. (2016): The whole versus the sum of some of the parts: toward resolving the apparent controversy of clitoral versus vaginal orgasms. Socioaffective Neuroscience & Psychology.
Questions about orgasm? Head to our forum and Let’s Talk!
I really need help i dont…
I really need help i dont know if this is normal because i like sex so much,more than how I love her sometimes I find it difficult to stay around her coz she don’t like sex that much bt for me anytime am with her thats all I fil sex sometimes I fill like am forcing her
,
Hi Kiprop, It is normal to…
Hi Kiprop, It is normal to find that one partner has a higher sex drive than the other in a relationship. Partners can however talk and find a balance. It is important that the partner who may have a lower sex drive is not forced into having sex, since there are many reasons that would make a person not feel like having sex at different times. Lastly, think about why you are in the relationship, is it just about sex? Relationships are about more than just sex, there is companionship, partnership, friendship, love among others. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/making-love/syncing-for-sex-dos-and-donts
Is it normal for a lady who…
Is it normal for a lady who is breastfeeding n have a child of abt three months to get pregnant if she plays sex which is not controled in any way , please help , n can her period skip ??
Hi Ben, Yes she can get…
Hi Ben, Yes she can get pregnant even if she is breastfeeding. It may sometime for her period to regularize after birth. It may seem she missed her period as the regularization takes place. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/pregnancy/sex-after-pregnancy-myths-and-facts
Hi, what can I do for a…
Hi, what can I do for a painful menstruation? Pls I need a reply.
Hey Donpeacez, Sorry about…
Hey Donpeacez, Sorry about the pain. There are a few things you can do to relieve the pain. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/our-bodies/female-body/dealing-with-period-pain
Hi is it normal for a lady…
Hi is it normal for a lady to have orgasm once and what can I do to have it at least twice.
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Hi Emmy, It is possible to have multiple orgasms during sex. Take a short break and ask your partner for you to try for a second one. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/making-love/orgasms/her-orgasms
There is a girl whom I love…
There is a girl whom I love so much but she is inlove with someone else…i don’t know what to do…
Hi Shipman, Sadly if she is…
Hi Shipman, Sadly if she is in-love with someone else you will have to respect this and move one. Hopefully you can meet someone else.
hi,when it come to sex…
hi,when it come to sex,sometimes i stay long,sometime i ejaculate to fast…i don’t know why…plz help
Hi Ngare, if you ejaculate…
Hi Ngare, if you ejaculate too soon frequently you maybe experiencing premature ejaculation. If it is taking longer than 30 minutes to ejaculate when you stay long then you could be experiencing Delayed ejaculation. The cause for either of this is usually physical or psychological Check out the following article;-
I have low erection problem…
I have low erection problem.how can you assist.
Hi Sila, I am not sure what…
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during intercourse my first…
during intercourse my first shot or round one, spams emerges faster and second shot takes time with effect my parter stimulates my organs
Hi, Perhaps you get exited…
Hi, Perhaps you get exited to quickly in the first round, this is why you ejaculate sooner than you wish. Try relaxing and taking deep short breaths to control the excitement. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation
Oflate i have been having…
Oflate i have been having weird feelings and I don’t know if it’s normal. I broke up with by gf like 3 months ago and its like am not intrested in love matter anymore is this normal..?
Hey Sucre, We are so sorry…
Hey Sucre, We are so sorry about the break up. Moving on from a break up can be tough depending what has let to it, how it was done and perhaps how long you were together. You are feeling hurt, disappointed, your trust in relationships has been broken and these kind of feelings are expected after a breakup. It is however important to come to terms with the break up and begin the healing process. It will take time but it does get better with time, perhaps you will even be willing to get into a new relationship. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/breaking-up/coping-with-a-break-up
Machine yangu ilifail…
Machine yangu ilifail kufanya kazi shida ni nini na haijawaikunifanyikia
Hi Stevo, Hii inaweza…
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What sex position can make…
What sex position can make me have sex for a longer time before I ejaculate
Hey Rooney, Positions that…
Hey Rooney, Positions that give you more control may help you last longer but you can also do a few things to last long. You also need to focus on quality sex as opposed to just quantity or how long you last. Talking about sex with your partner will help improve the experience for you both. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation
I do touch ma gal everywhere…
I do touch ma gal everywhere bt she don get wet even if we have sex for long,wats da problem with her?
Hi Junior,…
Hi Junior,
It sounds like you need to talk to her and find out what she enjoys. Where and how she likes to be touched.
Find out more here https://lovematters.in/en/making-love/phaorapalae-kayaa-karaen-aura-kayaa-nahain .
mine is kinda complicated,i…
mine is kinda complicated,i only miss him when he is away but when he visit then leave i stop missing him for a while.when having sex i feel nothing.i only feel it when i have my cloths on.i feel like am wasting his time..
Hey Sasha, have you…
Hey Sasha, have you reflected on your relationship and identified why you have this feeling? If you feel that the relationship is not working out, it is important that you let your partner know so that you can end the relationship. See this article for tips on how to talk to your partner: https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner
Can alady experience full…
Can alady experience full orgasm without actually squirting?
Hi Ken, a lady can have an…
Hi Ken, yes a lady can have an orgasm without squirting. When a woman get an orgasm she can either produce a milky fluid or produce upto half a litre of a clear fluid, this is squirting. Many women don’t experience squirting during intercourse. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/making-love/orgasms/squirting-orgasms-what-comes-out
My baby is now 9 months I…
My baby is now 9 months I haven’t see periods what problem
Hey Queenter, this is normal…
Hey Queenter, this is normal. It can take upto an year before your periods resume if you are exclusively breastfeeding your baby. Also , it depends with whether you are on any birth control method.
Hi, there is this Lady that…
Hi, there is this Lady that I loved but she denied me access to sex for a very long time citing that the right time would come.she could come to my place,we romance but no sex.so there was a time when as usual she came and I was not psychologically prepared to play sex hence o didn’t do it perfectly as she expected. She ended up blaming me for wasting her.what should o do?
Hello Malwete, have you…
Hello Malwete, have you tried or did you try to explain to her that you were not psychologically prepared to have sex? It is important you let her know what was going on that day so that the sex experience turned out the way it did. It is normal to sometimes not feel like having sex because of other pressing issues, and it is also normal for ones partner to feel disappointed if their expectations are not met. However, when partners talk about sex, it helps to manage expectations, and more importantly, to decide whether or not it’s a good time to have sex. Do find a good time and talk about what happened and then develop a culture of communicating openly and honestly about sex which will help improve the experience for you and your partner. https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/difficulties-with-sex-men
A guy told me that he can…
A guy told me that he can fuck a lady non stop for three consecutive rounds, ejaculating and starting the next round in an interval of 5 minutes. Is it possible?
Hey Emma, most men will…
Hey Emma, most men will require sometime before they are able to have sex again including having an erection. This time is know as refractory period. There is no real way to reduce the amount of time it takes to get an erection after an ejaculation. One has to just learn to work with their own bodies. Bottom line, is everyone is different and responds different.
How can I over come early…
How can I over come early premature ejaculations without using pills or medication
Hello Nkosi, getting to know…
Hello Nkosi, getting to know what is causing the Premature Ejaculation (PE) is the first step toward getting a solution. PE means that one gets sexually excited too soon during intercourse. It is caused by a number of reasons including fear, anxiety or even stress. Anxiety that one will not perform can make him ejaculate much earlier or stress from home or even work. In other cases, particularly in young men it could be the result of sexual inexperience, and so as one gets older and gain more experience, they also become better at controlling their ejaculation. There are a few other things one can do to overcome this;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation
How can one know that she…
How can one know that she has experienced orgasm???
Hey Purity, orgasms are…
Hey Purity, orgasms are intense, when you have one you will know you had one. But you could consider working backwards, by thinking about what will get you there in the first place. Often, including the clitoris in your love making will great aid in this. Check out this article for more tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/orgasms/her-orgasms
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How call at longer since I can make along lasting fuck
Hello Arnolds, if you are…
Hello Arnolds, if you are ejaculating sooner than you wish, you maybe experiencing premature ejaculation. It is caused by a number of reasons including fear, anxiety or even stress. Anxiety that one will not perform can make them ejaculate much earlier or stress from home or work. In other cases, particularly in young men it could be the result of sexual inexperience, and so as the young man gets older he also gains more experience in controlling ejaculation. Check out this article for more information on how your partner can try manage this;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation
How can. I last longer…
How can. I last longer insert? advise me
Hey Arnolds, if you are…
Hey Arnolds, if you are ejaculating sooner than you wish, you maybe experiencing premature ejaculation. It is caused by a number of reasons including fear, anxiety or even stress. Anxiety that one will not perform can make them ejaculate much earlier or stress from home or work. In other cases, particularly in young men it could be the result of sexual inexperience, and so as the young man gets older he also gains more experience in controlling ejaculation. Check out this article for more information on how your partner can try manage this;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation
Please help ,,I have never…
Please help ,,I have never had an orgasm ,every time I have sex with my boyfriend I just pretend I had an orgasm but truth is I have never orgasm ,,I even try masturbating but its still nothing ,what is wrong with me? Do I have a problem ?and how can I orgasm pls help
Hi Winnie, the key to having…
Hi Winnie, the key to having an orgasm is to understand what will get you there and then communicating or sharing this information with your partner. Most women will not orgasm from intercourse only which doesn’t give sufficient attention to one of the most sensitive parts, the clitoris. Masturbation can help you discover your own body and then share your discovery with your partner. Talking about sex helps to improve the experience, talking should happen before, during and even after sex to this end. Lastly, just because you didn’t orgasm doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy sex. Have a look at the following article for additional tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/orgasms/her-orgasms
Mbona nikiwa kwa shamba…
Mbona nikiwa kwa shamba yangu huwa sifanyi kazi sana lakini shamba ingine huwa nafanya kazi sana
Sasa Kris, yote inategemea…
Sasa Kris, yote inategemea hali yako ya akili. Wakati mwingine ikiwa una mawazo mengi au umesisitizwa, au uchovu, inaweza kuchukua muda mrefu. Ikiwa umerudishwa na uko katika hali nzuri, itafanyika haraka.