Orgasm: Top Five Facts
Lucho Molina under CC licence

Orgasms: top five facts

By Steph Haase August 9, 10:53 am
Orgasms – they can be absolutely earth-shattering, toe-curling experiences of pure pleasure! But what if you're really tired – should you fake it? Are there differences between men and women when it comes to climaxing? Find out all the facts!


What is an orgasm?

When you are very aroused during sex or masturbation, you can have an orgasm (it’s also called coming or climaxing). All your muscles tense, your heart rate speeds up and you might moan or groan with pleasure. Men (and some women) cum when they orgasm. An orgasm will give you a very intense sensation of pleasure, leaving you relaxed and usually feeling satisfied afterwards.

Her orgasm

For many women, intercourse by itself isn’t enough to have an orgasm. To climax they need to have their clit directly stimulated, perhaps by rubbing or licking, Compared to the vagina, the clitoris is much more sensitive – it’s like the end of the penis.

While it seems to be harder for women to orgasm than for men, there are some pay-offs. Women can have multiple orgasms in a very short time. Their orgasms last much longer than men's. On average, women orgasm for 15 to 20 seconds, men for just a few seconds. But it's also normal not to orgasm every time you try. Just stay relaxed and have fun, trying too hard won’t help!

His orgasm

When a man comes while having intercourse, he usually stops moving back and forth. At this point it’s usually too sensitive to move. After an orgasm the head of the penis, the glans, is usually very sensitive. If you touch it, it can be very uncomfortable. This is why men need some time to recover from an orgasm.

When he ejaculates during orgasm, sperm comes shooting out of his penis at 46 kilometres an hour!

Faking it...

… isn't a good idea. A recent study found that one in three women fake orgasms on occasion. Men do it too, but only one in four has felt the need to fake it. People don’t do it because they want the sex to be over with, or to hurt their partner’s feelings – usually quite the opposite, they want to make their partner feel good.

But faking it regularly may mean that you'll lose interest in having sex. And, more importantly, your partner won’t have any reason to change his or her game and make an effort to satisfy you! So be true to yourself and your partner – don't fake it! Sex is so much fun if you don't.

Orgasms and animals

Human are not the only ones who have sex for fun - dolphins and some apes and monkeys have sex just for pure pleasure too. And while some people will no doubt be jealous of pigs for being able to orgasm for 30 minutes straight, men will not be glad not to have been born as bees. When a male bee gets lucky with the queen, the male's genitals snap off and explode during orgasm. How glad are you not to be a bee right now?


Do you have an orgasm story you want to share. Comment below or join the discussion on Facebook.

Did you learn something new?

Hi Martin, the first few times, sex can be rather exciting, and you might have been too tense to get an orgasm. Relax and don't worry about it- it will come. Have you ever had one with masturbation?
Hi Laticia, how long is too long? Many women complain about their partner coming too fast, so they would say you are lucky. But having a partner go on and on forever isn't bliss either, we know. Is he circumcised? That makes the penis less sensitive and it can take longer to come. You can try a couple of things to see if he comes faster. Have lots of foreplay. The more excited he is, the faster he will come later. Use lubrication inside and outside the condom (if you are using one, but you can also use lube without one). That can increase the sensation, especially with warming lube. Using latex-free condoms also improves sensation. And lastly, train your pelvic floor muscles by doing kegel-exercises (check our experts Valentine's post from last week). Having a strong pelvic floor and squeezing those muscles during penetration could send him over the edge much quicker! Good luck!
Hi Lesley, women have the most chance of climaxing when their clitoris is stimulated. Reaching an orgasm during normal intercourse is hard for most women. So ask your partner to go for your clitoris. You can find some tips in our 'making love' section. Good luck!
Hi Davis, coming easily isn't a problem at all! If it's so easy that you ejaculated prematurely, it could be that you are not all that experienced, and sex is still very exciting for you. If that's the case, cutting down on foreplay for you might be good (but make sure your partner is ready to go), using extra strong condoms (they are thicker and can decrease sensation), or masturbating before sex. Also, stopping all movement right before you come, waiting a bit and then starting again could prolong the time you can go. Masturbation in general is a great way to teach yourself to go longer.
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